**This recap covers events from noon Saturday to noon Sunday, BB time**
Hello once again live feed watchers! Apparently we all have a little masochist in us because we keep coming back, day after day, for this torture known as Big Brother 10. I guess I am never happy though. Last season I couldn’t stomach one more minute of the nasty little critters, but this season, watching these hamsters is like watching a never ending episode of The Hills. These two people are fighting, those two people are talking behind each other’s backs, etc. Let’s put on our conductor’s hats and check out this trainwreck together, shall we?
My shift begins during the aftermath of the Jerry vs. Libra grudge match. Libra is still whining around in her room about the food competition and she can’t believe she let herself get so upset about things. She apologizes to her BFF April. Michelle enters the room and Libra’s waterworks turn on once again. Ugh. Niagara Falls called, it wants its water back. Michelle assures Libra that if she was caught in the same situation, she would have done the same thing. She also gives Libra a little pep talk and tells her not to stay in bed all day over it and go out and join the day’s activities with the rest of the house. What is Libra upset about now, you ask? The fact that she wasn’t even dressed when all of this drama went down. It is going to air on the show and she *gasp* wasn’t dressed?! She doesn’t care about the fact that she was crying and yelling like a jackal, just that she wasn’t dressed. It’s all about priorities.
Don’t yell at me until I do my hair. You hear me bitch?
Outside, Michelle and Memphis talk about Steven and the veto. She tells Memphis that Steven is trying to convince her to use the veto, but she knows that Steven would never use it on her. Keesha and April come outside and apparently there is going to be a jump rope competition. The conversation quickly turns to sex, so I change my feed to the kitchen where some hungry hamsters are partaking in Renny’s “magic slop” that tastes like oatmeal with brown sugar in it. Dan and Steven are tossing around the idea of having a talk show for the Showtime viewers. Steven asks if he can be the gay sidekick and Dan says yes. Steven and Dan must be bonding now that they both lost their favorite boy wonder, Brian.
Libra is all smiles like usual
The rest of the afternoon is seriously a snoozefest. I know all of the recap writers complain about the lack of activity on the feeds, but it really is true. There is a conversation going on about real estate in various parts of the country, a conversation about crawfish (yes, crawfish), and a conversation about dreams. Riveting stuff. Keesha comments that Steven better watch out because she is going to rape him in the middle of the night because she’s so horny. That’s the kind of girl you want to take home to mom, isn’t it folks? Ollie says he would never do anything like that on national TV out of respect for his parents.
So do these pillows make me look fat?
Not one to let things go, Libra is STILL going on and on about the stupid food competition and the confrontation with Jerry. Jessie listens intently. By “listens intently” I mean “stares at Libra with a spacey eyed look”. Libra is so upset with herself because she didn’t want to come on the show and be the “angry black woman”. Jessie understands because he has dated lots of black women. I’m still betting Jessie has no clue about women, but whatever. Libra thinks Renny tries to get Jerry fired up. Libra and Jessie talk some more about Libra since the world revolves around her, and then they discuss the “top tier” in the house. Apparently, the top tier is Jerry, Renny, Steven, and Dan. Just when I start zoning out, Steven comes streaking across the yard, naked (with strategically placed pillows) and screaming. Hmm. Okay then.
Lucky you, LSU. Here’s your biggest fan.
Inside the house, Steven joins April, Ollie, Keesha, and Memphis. He tries to convince them that they should vote to keep him because he doesn’t cause drama and doesn’t tell everyone different stories. He thinks that Dan is a good guy too and that neither of them should be going home.
As promised, it’s time for the Big Brother talk show! Renny does a little dance for everyone to kick things off. Dan is dressed in a suit and is sporting a ridiculous mustache. He makes fun of BB and says they are all in hell. That isn’t too far from the truth. He introduces the “Terrific Trio” made up of Michelle, Steven wearing a construction worker vest, and Jerry. They give their Top 10 list of things to do when there is nothing to do in the Big Brother house.
Top 10 Things To Do When There Is Nothing To Do:
10. See how many colors you can paint your fingernails in one day
9. Looking through the sliding glass door at Dan playing with his balls.
8. Coming up with 100 ways to prepare slop
7. Trying to sleep through Ollie’s snoring and Keesha’s laughing
6. Wondering what outfit Renny’s going to wear next
5. Determining how many people need to be in the hot tub to make it warm
4. Performing your favorite sexual acts on other houseguests
3. Wondering where Ollie and April are in the house
2. Teaching Angie to knock on the damn bathroom door
1. Sunbathing naked
The show continues with a makeover segment featuring Keesha playing the part of “Keesha Keesha” dressed in a pink wig and gold sequined tube top. Also in the segment is her assistant “Bunny” played by Renny wearing a flapper style dress with a pink feather boa. They choose Angie to get a makeover and she goes wild. They leave the room and it’s time for a “commercial”. Memphis aka “Hans” comes strutting into the room wearing a button down blue shirt knotted to expose his stomach, John Lennon style glasses, and a sequined hat on his head. Wow, he looks absolutely ridiculous and this could be the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long, long time. He explains that he is from the Gay Antique Roadshow. His guest, Jessie aka “Pepe”, comes in wearing a black tank top, a green beret, and a crazy Tom Selleck-ish mustache. I imagine they borrowed all of these wild clothes from Renny. Anyway, they do their silly thing and everyone laughs hysterically. I’m actually surprised that Memphis has a personality. I’m also surprised that Jessie has another talent besides looking at himself in the mirror and flexing his arms.
This birdhouse is just fabulous!!
The “commercial” is over and now it’s guest time. Dan welcomes his first guest, April. She “acts” really ditzy and makes fun of herself a bit. It’s kind of amusing. She says that she is in love with a man named Ollie. He is dressed like Parker from last season. He has a wig, bandana, and a cigarette. They canoodle on the couch and everyone laughs. He says he has 15 kids to 10 different women. Dan asks for Dr. Shamalamadingdong, the relationship expert, to come on the show to help April and Ollie. Enter Libra, wearing glasses and talking into a whisk as a microphone. She gives a little sex ed speech then offers her advice. It’s nice to actually see Libra having fun with everyone else instead of being a huge self absorbed bitch. They are trying to figure out if Ollie is the father of April’s baby. Steven is playing the other man in the scenario. The last segment of the show is the result of Angie’s makeover. She comes out wearing Renny’s short wig, a long purple dress, white sunglasses, and a white hat. I feel like Joan Rivers describing the red carpet here. Memphis and Angie do a little table dance. Steven takes over as host, calling himself “Steven McGayness” and offers his closing remarks. He thanks everyone for participating. When he thanks Dan, Dan smashes a bowl of whipped cream into his own face. Wow, these people are completely sober. Amazing.
Hey, has anyone seen the police officer, cowboy, or military man?
Just when I thought the fun for the evening was over and the hamsters were starting to head to bed, it appears as though something has come “up” between Ollie and April. They are underneath a blanket in the sauna room and there is definitely something (or someone) going down. We hear heavy breathing and see a bunch of movement under those blankets. April’s feet and Ollie’s socked feet are sticking out from the end of the blanket. The preacher’s son gets a little bow chicka wow wow underneath the blankets, in a public room with the lights on, I might add. She tells him that he better pull out. What a safe and smart form of birth control! There you have it, our first sex session of the season and we are only in Week 2! After Ollie and April are done making their parents proud, April tells Ollie he better not be using her. Oh I’m sure he’s not using you, honey. He probably loves you for your
bodymind. April also says that she wants to try some freaky stuff with Ollie, but he thinks they should wait until sequester. For the sake of my eyes, PLEASE wait until sequester! April and Ollie head to bed after their sauna room bump and grind.
His mom shouldn’t be too embarrassed, he did leave his socks on
Most of the hamsters awaken by 9:30am BB time. They chatter about their jobs and such things as they get ready for the day. The only noteworthy conversation that occurs before the end of my shift is in the HoH room between Steven, Michelle, and Jessie. Steven tries to save himself once again by telling Michelle that putting up Libra is the best idea. Michelle and Jessie aren’t really picking up what Steven is putting out. They say they don’t have a problem with Libra and that would be a dumb move on their part. Steven tells her if she uses the veto, she gets Dan and Steven on her side. Steven leaves, and Michelle tells Jessie she still isn’t going to use the veto. Dan then corners Michelle and she assures him that he isn’t the target and has nothing to worry about. We get fish on all feeds until my shift comes to an end.
Will Michelle use the veto? Will Memphis and Jessie take their Gay Antique Road Show on the road? What room will April and Ollie defile next? Check out all of happenings from Sunday to Monday when waywyrd rocks the house!
Thanks to those awesome cappers JustJuls and ThinkPink for the screencaps!
Do you have a secret fetish for top ten lists? PM me.