The start of my shift can be likened to watching paint dry. Most of our new hamsters spend the day cleaning the house and getting pretty for the live show. For some, the latter obviously does not apply. The only bit of excitement came when houseguests realized their photos on the memory wall had been replaced with photos of them in last week’s HoH and POV competitions. Let’s just forget about the humdrum day and get right to the fun following the live show, shall we?
One bawl-baby in this family is enough
Those following along know that Jessie the
EgoBody won the HoH competition. When feeds return, the houseguests are gathering in the kitchen prepping their food for the night. Keesha once again stuffs her face with chips. This girl can sure eat! April mentions that she’s never had fish sticks because she doesn’t like fish. She quickly adds, “I’ve had crabs.” Hee! Angie looks like she’s dozing off at the kitchen counter and given the excitement level, I can understand why. These hammies need alcohol. And personalities.
Since they haven’t quite put us to sleep yet, the fish tank has been replaced by bubbles. Nice, soothing, floating, color-changing bubbles. If I nod off mid-recap, blame Skippy.
Steven is unhappy about some things at home and also because production isn’t meeting his demands. He tells Angie that he’s been asking for his prescription Xanax because he’s stressed out and they won’t give it to him. Their reason? Everyone is stressed out. Silly Steve! Your name has to be Evel Dick to get what you want in the BB house. Steve makes a comment about being fed up with giving up control to the unseen powers that be and big surprise…he’s called to the diary room. Boo hoo! When he returns, he’s even more depressed so Dan reads him some scriptures to cheer him up. Nothing says “love thy neighbor” more than the Catholic school teacher sharing the Bible with the gay cowboy. *Note: Steven whines about his Xanax so much that BB reprimands him several times. However, he later gets his drugs.*
Hey Johnny, you got a cancer stick?
Renny takes over the kitchen and busies herself baking a cake from scratch. She’s wearing an apron the is so very June Cleaver. It goes well with the retro kitchen theme. Meanwhile, Keesha drops her mic in the toilet. BB should make her wear it, toilet water and all. That’ll teach them to be more careful. Outside, Libra, April, Michelle, Jessie, Ollie, and Jerry boast about how they control the game. It’s week two, people! You aren’t running anything! They badmouth the others in the house, especially Angie and Renny. Libra thinks Angie needs to go because she smokes. It’s just better for their health that way. Puhleeze! As for Renny, how dare she? They bash her for questioning Jerry’s military service and for saying he was disloyal to Brian. I bet they still eat her cake though.
Angie sits outside smoking near them. Yay for Angie! After a while, Jessie starts fanning the smoke away with a pillow. It’d be a trip if the spirit of Dick could possess Angie so she would blow smoke rings directly into The Ego’s face. But that doesn’t happen so Jessie goes on to entertain everyone with riveting stories of how exciting it is in Iowa and Nebraska. Libra pipes up and complains about not getting to see pictures of her kids during the live show. Call me callous, but she knew when she signed up for the show, she wouldn’t see her kids. If she wants to see those babies, she should have stayed HOME with them. Just this recapper’s opinion.
Jessie spends some time complaining about Renny’s speech on the live show. She dissed him and that doesn’t sit well with the big baby. Forget about the fact that he made rude comments about her as well. Finally, there is some strategy talk with Jessie the Bod and Grandpa Jerry. It sounds like Jessie is thinking of putting Renny and Dan on the block and having someone use the veto to backdoor Steven. He and Memphis whisper a little later and confirm that Steven is indeed his target.
Renny’s cake is the hot topic for a while. It’s nice and big and granted I haven’t tasted it, but I fail to see what is so spectacular about it. She has a couple people check it for her because she isn’t sure it’s done. The woman can make a cake and frosting from scratch but then can’t tell when it’s done. What’s up with that? They also debate the correct pronunciation of the word "pecan" for a while. It's going to be a long night.
Hey baby, you wanna to see what's hangin?
Jessie gets his HoH room. In it are pictures of his brothers and one of him all ripped and hulked up for a bodybuilding competition. After that competition, he says he gained 20 lbs in 36 hours by drinking chocolate milk and water. Is that possible? He looks much better now than he did all hulked up. But that’s not saying much. Jessie is obviously his biggest fan. Keesha, Angie, and Renny(who is still waiting for the longest baking cake in the history of cake baking) hang out in the backyard. Before long, Keesha starts going off on April and how fake she is. She sways like the wind and how dare she jump into Jessie’s arms after he won HoH. This is a gossipy bunch.
This season’s hamsters seem to have quickly divided themselves into two groups. The “Friendship,” reminiscent of season 6 minus the Maggot and the Icky one, includes, Jessie, Michelle, April, Ollie, Jerry and Libra. The outsiders are Keesha, Dan, Steven, Angie, and of course, Renny. Memphis is a floater, best I can tell. Nerdherders II meet with Jessie to strategize. He wants Renny to go on the block but they convince him that Dan and Steven need to go up this week. They convince him that he’ll look mature in America’s eyes for sparing Renny from the block. Memphis tells him they just better be sure to get Renny out before sequester because it’s over his “dead body that he’ll share the jury house with that crazy lady.”
If Libra and April keep up the junior high clique thing, they’re eventually going to bring themselves down. One can hope anyway. They sit around talking much smack about Keesha talking to Angie. Apparently, Keesha isn’t allowed to spend time with anyone other than them. If she does, that must mean she’s flipped on them. They also stress over how much time she spends talking to Steven. Memphis tells them to leave her out of the loop this week and see what happens. And if she wins the POV, she’ll have the chance to prove her loyalty to them. They later call her on all of the time she’s spending with Angie and Keesha holds her own. She gets sick of talking strategy all the time and likes hanging with Angie to talk about something other than the game. She does, however, declare her loyalty to Libra and April. But I wouldn’t bet money on it.
White trash with mustangs and madras
Angie eventually joins them and explains that she hasn’t excluded herself from their group and wants to be one of the cool kids. She says that they orchestrated Brian’s eviction and of course, they don’t know why they get blamed for everything. They say they haven’t been bashing her at all. So they all hug and make up and when Angie leaves, they continue talking crap about her. Business as usual. Meanwhile, Jessie, Michelle, and Memphis share a laugh over how they’re controlling everything but letting Libra and April take the heat for their decisions. Later, Libra and April confront Keesha again about talking to Steven. Keesha assures them for the 3,797th time that her loyalty lies with them. She simply likes hanging out with Steven because he’s funny and makes her laugh. Keesha tells them that Steven doesn’t badmouth them the way they do him. This, they perceive as flipflopping. I’m hoping if they quiz her again, Keesha will go all Barbie Bitch on them. The inquisition is getting old. For that matter, so is Keesha’s high-pitched screechy voice. Hopefully when her bowels empty, it’ll take some of the pressure off her vocal cords.
Finally, everyone leaves HoH but Michelle. She and Jessie discuss the nominations and he confirms that Dan and Steven are going on the block. He also confirms Memphis' solid place in their alliance. They discuss bringing Jerry into their alliance because he's trustworthy and would be loyal to them. Jessie asks Michelle to get Memphis and bring him up. He tells her to watch out for Libra. He doesn't want her to get suspicious and figure out their alliance. Memphis comes up to HoH, and they start in on Angie since they all had an original alliance with her. Jessie the Ego has been waiting for her to come up and bow before him as the others have done but she has not. They deem her untrustworthy as a result but still want to hear what she has to say.
As if on cue, Angie asks Jessie of she can speak to him. They go up to his room and he lets her know that she can’t be trusted since she didn’t kiss his feet and promise him her firstborn. He wants her to prove her loyalty to him and the group
by using her connections as a pharmaceutical rep to provide his steroid fix. She apologizes. She’s learned the error of her ways and will no longer put friendships before the game. According to her, she sucks at the game and needs to be part of their alliance. They hug and make up, he promises her three weeks of safety, and she proclaims herself an idiot for not talking to him sooner. I proclaim her an idiot for talking to him now. In her defense, she is a little drunk and he’s full of HoH power and makes it clear that she has a target on her back.
Random Thoughts and Idiocies
- Libra is stuck on Julie’s question on the live show about
abandoning her kids for the summerleaving her kids behind to become a contestant on Big Brother. Based on the question, she feels if there is an America’s Choice, she wouldn’t get it. She probably wouldn’t get it, but that’s not why.
- These dumbasses have commented on the wrap party several times. The wrap party? Seriously? It’s week TWO!
- Libra speculates that Steven is so moody because he was crushing on Brian. Libra doesn’t know half of what she thinks she does.
- This morning’s wake up call was the theme song to Saved By the Bell. Can’t figure that one out. But the other one was "I'm too Sexy for My Shirt,“ a nod to Jessie tearing
off his shirt during the POV competition.
- Jerry says that Jessica from season 8 was “built.” Ew! There should be a rule against old farts like Grandpa Jerry making comments like that.
- Memphis’ father left him when he was two. He didn’t have any contact with him until he was fifteen. His dad was diagnosed with a heart condition and died shortly thereafter.
- Houseguests speculate about the empty picture frame on the memory wall. Keesha jokes that there is a rumor in the internet that she is Dick’s daughter and Dani’s older sister. Hopefully not…enough of those Donatos already.
Pee-kan or pi-kahn? I'm from the South but happen to say "pi-kahn." What about you?