**This recap covers events from noon Tuesday to noon Wednesday, BB Time**
*brush brush* Have to brush off the cobwebs since last recapping BB. I was fortunate enough to sit out the winter
crapedition. I'm back in full force with snarkalicious banter between interesting and fun houseguests. However, I must have asked for too much because as my inaugural BB10 shift starts, I'm already bored to tears with these people. They make me yawn, but I think I'll take boring over the skanks from a few months ago. Images of James still burn into my memory. *barf*
So we begin this shift and the hamsters are on inside lockdown. Michelle & Steven bitch at each other about doing dishes. It gets heated enough that Libra tries to calm it all down. It does and Michelle says she's about to get her period. Steven wants all the females to get it at the same time and they should be locked in the storage room. There's a little strategy talk in that April thinks Angie's being shady hanging out so much with Dan. YAWN. Then comes the outside lockdown and lots of pizza. There's some scintillating conversation between the flirting Ollie & April. The facts we learn about her are she's off birth control, she has her period, she's never had plastic surgery, she's slept with a married man, her ex is still in love with her even though he lives with someone else, she loves sports and she has really opened up to Ollie. In my opinion, she basically just yapped on and on about herself. If she wants to consider that "opening up", well, okay.
We get to hear the exciting story of JENsa from BB8 and how she interviewed Keesha and basically hated her because she looked like Dani. Poor brainless Keesha didn't know what the hell Jen was talking about. Don't feel bad Keesh...nobody ever knew what Jen was talking about. Jen apparently took Michelle's place on BB8. Michelle should be thankful. I think she would have hated the red Jenotard.
While visions of steroids danced in his head
So we then learn that Steven hates politics. He's not even sure if he's Republican or Democrat. *cough* He's asked if he's gay, supports gay marriage and abortion to which he says yes, yes, and yes. He's then informed he's a liberal democrat. He said he'd rather have legalized bathhouses than legalized gay marriage. George Michael agrees, but I digress.
We also get a celebrity crush list. Brian wants Scarlet Johannesen, Angie wants David Beckham, Steven wants Markie Mark (I guess he likes him some good vibrations) and Dan wants Lacey Chabert. *screeeeech*. Visions of a child in Party of Five run through my head. Okay, so I'm sure she's grown up now, but I just got a major ick vibe.
So we get a quick last ditch effort to try to save Brian. Steven and Angie hope to get Memphis on board to get Jessie. They want to get rid of Renny.
So Keesha tells Steven about her spots on the Best Damn Sports Show and Jimmy Kimmell commercials. She was also the semi-lead in a made-for-DVD movie. She feels like her life would be an accomplishment if she got on a soap opera. Keesha should give a call to Susan Lucci to see if she really wanted more in life than Erica Kane. Keesha also pisses off the BB gods by saying she's loyal to All My Children, One Life to Live & General Hospital - all shown on the alphabet station. Keesha tells Steven he needs headshots which he proclaims he'll do after the show ends.
So our beloved hamsters sit down for some dinner made by Renny. I suspect it's some sort of fettuccine and salad. A group prayer breaks out and I wonder if Ollie suddenly feels at home.
Please let them vote out Renny this week
We're treated to the first poop discussion of the year. I know you've all been anxiously awaiting the "I can't poop" commencement. This go-around (or NOT go-around I should say) is started by Keesha. Apparently, she's constipated up to her hooters and Jerry suggests a suppository. I won't go into detail, but she doesn't know how one is used and Jerry suggests going into the diary room with her to ask BB. He even goes as far as saying if she wants an enema, which she has used before (you know B-horror-movie-actress-diet), she can use his HoH room.
Just in time for BBAD, Skippy and crew give out the alcohol. Beer chugging begins and so do the dumb games. I'm pining for the days of Jess & Eric playing beer pong. One of the games they play is Buzz where they have to say the word buzz instead of anything with a 7 in it or a number divisible by 7. Problem is, I'm not sure anyone knows what divisible means. They also play this spinning game where they spin with a pole over your head and then try to walk and get a ball in a hoop. Needless to say there's not much success, but much laughter. We move along to sack races in garbage bags. That doesn't last long. We also get a poop update and poor Keesha hasn't gone yet. She took a benadryl which in my mind makes your constipated ass sleep. But maybe Keesha knows something I don't.
We get some strategy talk and Memphis and Jesse are plotting life AB (after Brian). Angie is trying to get Keesha to vote out Renny. Libra doesn't want Keesha to flip flop. April and Keesha end up getting into it. Keesha tossed her water into the yard and hit Michelle. Keesha thinks April talks crap about her all the time. Keesha tells April to "bring it on little barbie Bitch". Ultimately, a little private enema discussion between Jerry and Keesha gets April all wound up thinking they were talking strategy. Major overreaction from April, but ya gotta love some good drama. And when you have a barbie mention, life is good. April keeps having meltdowns amidst strategy talk. They are really trying to figure out who is voting Brian and who is voting Renny. Libra is the go-between between April and Keesha trying to get them to talk. Keesha wants to kill April and April's embarrassed. Basically I think the hair dye has gotten to April's head and turned her uber paranoid.
We're off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of BB
Yippee - I get to use bullet points!
- Memphis and Jesse want Angie to go
- Keesha wants to go....to the bathroom, that is
- Steven snores and Renny denies she does
- Memphis went to Florida State
- The Barbie twins kiss and make up
- Libra is a compulsive cleaner
- April and Ollie still have that hot attraction
- Jessie thinks Chenbot's husband is a "nobody" at CBS *coughJACKASScough*
- Jessie drinks a protein shake at bedtime
- Michelle and Jessie cannot seem to count past 31 properly while cleaning mirrors. They get to 28 and get confused.
- Renny totally reminds me of Priscilla Presley when dolled up and Mrs. Roper when she's not
- The BB voice is rather pleasant this year
- I forgot how loud the music is when the feeds cut to the fishtank. Ye-ouch
As my shift comes to a close, the hammies are running around cleaning and end up on HoH lockdown. It appears Brian is definitely going home, but this IS Big Brother, so you never know. Stay tuned to read more delicious snark from lildago on tomorrow's shift!
Don't forget to pre-order your Barbie Bitch. She comes complete with an enema bag. Yours for only $12.95!
Thanks to ThinkPink and Ashley for the screencaps!