Hello dear readers! Tis me, Iguanachocolate leading out Team Big Brother 10! We’ll be tag teaming recapping the Big Brother episodes for your reading pleasure. Make sure to read Yardgnome’s most excellent recap of Tuesday episodes for all the POV news and MsFroggy will be recapping her heart out to let you know who is evicted and who will be the new HoH on Wednesdays’ episodes. LG will be offering a weekly analysis of the wacky hamsters and our Live Feed recappers (Waywyrd, AshleyPSU, Marybethp, Lildago, Snapit and MFWalkoff ) will be scooping on the spoilers for all those who don’t like the agony of surprise. I must say, we have the Iron Chefs of recappers on board for the summer fun.
Julie Chen sparkles on to our screens to let us know the game is a foot. This year, no one in the house will no anyone else before they enter – something that hasn’t happened since Season 3 and something that is welcomed back by me, that I can say. Ignoring the cutesy ways the players found out about their Big Brotheredness, let’s meet the gang, shall we?
Jerry – the oldest player ever to play Big Brother at 75, says he is a student of the game and hasn’t missed a season. A retired Marine (Korea – take note, Renny) and a great grandfather, he seems likeable enough.
Libra – claims to not care what others think of her. She is a proud Obama supporter in what she claims as “Bushland”. She’s a mother of three, including 5 month old twins.
Dan – a Catholic school teacher and Republican claims in his bio he would have moved out of the country had Hillary Clinton been elected president. No word on if Obama wins.
Steven – the gay cowboy who says he will stay in his closet, but if his mannerisms are anyway to judge, the cat is out of the proverbial bag already.
Renny – a New Orleans socialite (she says) and owner of a spa who seems to have come out of the gate with the crazy card.
Keesha – a generic blond who resembles Danielle of last summer but with out the whine. And also a requisite Hooters girl – no season is complete without one.
Michelle – from Rhode Island who warns people she is loud because she is Portuguese.
Memphis – a mixologist (that’s bartender to those of you without a thesaurus) who he describes as a chef for alcoholics.
Ollie – who is introduced as he prays with his family (I’ve got nothing against Christians, but please can we do without a Team Christ?)
Brian – who seems to have nothing more than some good looks and the fact he sells cell phones.
Jesse – the body builder au natural – based on his looks, I am guessing the ladies out there (and a few of the guys) are hoping natural means nude.
April – who felt a good way to introduce herself would be to get felt up to show people her boobs are real.
And last, but not least, except in the information we are given about her, Angie. She’s a pharmaceutical rep. Gotta have one, it’s in the reality show casting rule book.
So, they all gather together on the steps of their new abode. Julie lets them know that the first bit of business is that they will have to vote for the first HoH, based on looks alone. The do the deed and the first group of hamsters consisting of Renny, Dan, Angie, Jessie and April rush through the doors. Screaming of course (see page 24 of the reality show contestant handbook – must scream whenever possible). The house has a cottage type of feel with homage paid to the 60’s and the 80’s in a couple of the bedrooms. Good thing – everyone gets a real bed. No short beds, or pull out couches for this crew. And they have the spa back instead of an exercise room. The next groups enter and they get down to learning all about their new housemates.
April invites everyone to feel her boobs in lieu of actually talking about herself. Judging by the reactions, the guys were pretty happy with that, though Renny was a bit concerned about Jerry and asked if there was a defibrillator in the house. This of course after she asked him if he was a World War II veteran. Ah, Renny. Way to make friends. With her (and I will be generous here) exuberant personality, I am left wondering if she knows the object is to be the last one out of the house and not the first? One thing to watch for future reference in the intros is that Dan likes Brian a lot and sees him as a potential alliance mate.
Julie Chen breaks into the revelry and asks them to separate themselves into two teams. They’ll have to choose one person to sit out and for some inexplicable reason Jesse nominates himself to be the one. Seems odd, since it is sure to single him out and not so much for a good reason. They get dressed in their team colors of red or white and troupe out to the back yard. The challenge is called “Buggin’ Out” and they are greeted by two full size Volkswagen Bugs suspended upside down on tracks. This first challenge comes with a huge reward, the winner will receive their choice of one of two classic cars but the whole team will win real food for the week – the losing team? Yup, you guessed it, Slop. Because Jesse is sitting out, he will automatically be on real food, but does not have a chance at the car. The teams consist of
White: Libra, Keesha, Jerry, Ollie, April, her ‘real’ boobs, and Brian.
Red: Renny, Michelle, Angie, Steve, Dan and Memphis.
The Challenge, simply put, is they all have to climb into one of the Bugs, grab a rope, pull themselves across the yard, grab a gas can, pull themselves back and drop the gas can and a player and start all over again. Once they get down to one player in the Bug, the entire team can help push it to get the last gas can. Mostly because of Libras’s odd decision to try and grab the can without getting out of the Bug, the Red team leads all the why though. When it gets down to the last two in the Red car, Steve and Memphis, they decide to play Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who will be the last in the Bug and win the car. After a couple of ties, Steve decides it’s not worth it and lets Memphis get the car. Good decision on Steve’s part. I’m sure that winning this prize will come back to haunt Memphis down the road – they always do.
Coming back inside, Julie tells them who will be their first HoH. Much to a lot of people’s relief, it won’t be Renny, she came in second. Grandad to us all, Jerry, will be the housemates first HoH. If he snores anything like my Grandpa did, I’m guessing the houseguests made the right decision. Speaking of snoring – the houseguests turn in for bed. Well, almost all. Renny can’t seem to work a doorknob. Does she remind anyone else of that Carol Burnett skit where she satirizes Nora Desmond?** Or perhaps an over the top Lucille Ball drag queen? Anyway, she succeeds in making a huge scene and an enemy of Jesse who has it out with her, (note: this is different than last’s years “calling someone out”) in the bathroom. Fairly tame, unless she has supersonic hearing and heard Jesse’s comment about her being a 140 years old.
Mild though it may have been by Big Brother standards, it does give Jerry pause as he ponders who he will put up for eviction. Brian and Dan cement their alliance and decide to bring Ollie in to make a merry trio. While Brian feels out Jerry upstairs, Dan goes to work on Ollie in the bathroom. Ollie blathers on about his word being everything in the game, yada yada yada – like we haven’t heard that every Big Brother season. The gist of it all, he’s all in with Brian and Dan.
Brian is upstairs in the war room with Jerry, bonding over their military experience. Jerry says he can trust Brian because of that and asks him to be in an alliance. Brian is down with that, but conveniently does not mention his alliance with Dan, though he does ask if Dan can not go up on the block. He wants to see Jesse and Renny on the block, though Jerry is still thinking Dan and Renny. He seems to be thinking about the Jesse factor though as he remarks there has been some tension around the two of them.
And here we go folks, Big Round Table of Truth time. Who has been successful in kissing up and who hasn’t? Out comes Jerry lugging the Wheel of Death. After some chit chat about how great everyone is and all the usual crap, he reads off Michelle as the first one who is safe. One by one the others are read until we are left with Dan, Renny and Jesse. Oh, the suspense! Dan is safe, leaving Renny and Jesse as the nominated ones. Jerry says it is because of Doorknobgate.
And that is it folks, stay tuned for Tuesdays show to see who will win the PoV. Or, better yet, safe yourself the commercial time and read Yardgnome’s recap!
Anyone else who would pick Slop over Brussels sprouts? Let’s start a club. Pm me if you’re interested….
**Thanks to Paridy for that description!