*This is a recap of events from Monday through Thursday*
Not that a whole lot happened Monday through Thursday, mind you. A quick synopsis of Monday: They slept late. The girls worked on their future wrinkles by baking in the California sun. Ryan ate. Adam picked and scratched. They took naps. Ate some more. Bibles were read and guinea pigs were fed.
And Tuesday? They slept late. The girls worked on their future wrinkles by baking in the California sun. Ryan ate. Adam picked and scratched. They took naps. Ate some more. Bibles were read and guinea pigs were fed.
Now, not to say that there wasn’t a little plotting going on: James gave a valiant effort to stay in the house, trying his best to convince them that Nat was up to no good, and that he could best serve their interests by staying and competing against Natalie in competitions since the rest of them thoroughly suck at endurance comps. This planted seeds in Adam and Sheila’s little empty heads, but Ryan just wasn’t having any of it. He smiled at James and listened to his pleas, but once the Mohawked One was out of the room, Ryan told the others that James just had to go. Penis envy, or good gameplay? You decide.
Sheila! Noo! Put your robe back on! My eyes!
Knowing that his second chance has been blown and was coming rapidly to an end, James decides to do his best to turn the others against Nat. He does a good job of running around to various hamsters and planting seeds of doubt about Nat’s loyalties. Hell, they’ve ALL been double-dipping with secret alliances and phony promises of “sure, I’ll take you to the final two!” But Nat has been a little too obvious, schmoozing the girls one minute and sucking up to the guys the next. No, not that kind of sucking up. She’s saving that for her dear departed Mattie.
- Sheila once made a guy wait ten years before she had sex with him. Maybe it just took him that long to find it in that jungle.
- James says he got a full scholarship to FSU but turned it down to move to L.A. Smooth move.
- James also claims he was in a high-speed police chase and slammed into a tree doing 110 mph.
- Ryan got a nasty rash on his neck after having Nat trim his hair and Nair his back fur. No word on whether he got the rash from Nat or the Nair.
- He also hurt his neck and got some Valium from BB to help him sleep. Not his week, is it?
- Natalie had a nightmare about Adam’s penis, saying it was long and snake-like. Oy.
- Sheila’s dog’s name is Kitty. And back in her Penthouse days, she got love letters from prisoners and young boys.
- Natalie read the berry-flavored dental dam box and exclaimed that she wouldn’t need them, since she “smells like a flower” anyway.
- Adam couldn’t spell “luau” in his blog so he wrote “Hawaiian cook out” instead. Read it here.
Do you see any give a s*** in this eye? Do you?!
It’s not long before Saint Natalie is getting soundly trashed by Sheila and Sharon, who’s up in arms after hearing that Natalie called her “the mole.” Sharon says Natalie is “D-U-triple N” DUN, and the girls snicker over Natalie’s “signs” and prophetic dreams and how she’s dumber than a bag of hammers. Upstairs, Natalie is telling the guys that Sheila is just parannoying because she’s afraid and knows she can’t win a comp. Heh. We’ll see about that later...
The hamsters, big party people that they are, plan a luau for Tuesday. They decorate with leis, Nat paints tropical flowers with nailpolish, and James celebrates by getting nekkid and joining the girls in the backyard for some sun. James is a little pissy because he planned on wearing Chelsia’s robe and a pair of tighty whities during the eviction show, but BB told him “nuh uh.” Sooo, he makes the backyard his own little nudist colony. Sheila giggles that he needs a trim, and puts a lei on his crotch. Speaking of trim, Sheila whacked the hell out of Sharon’s poor hair trying to “trim the ends.” Anyhoo, Adam encourages James to masturbate (imagine that) and Natalie starts spouting off about being sexually harassed. Yes, the chick who struts around with her ass cheeks and silicone bags hanging out 24/7 feels sexually harassed, folks.
BB calls James in and tells him that he can be au naturel all he wants, but must keep his manhood away from the girls, and any self-pleasuring shall be done in private. What they consider private in a house full of cameras, I don’t know. Nat is then called to Diary to get her opinion on James’ weenie, and James takes the opportunity to call Nat out. “Can we agree she’s working with everyone out here? She’s working with you, right? And you?” They all agree, laughing at Nat while she’s squawking away in Diary. Oh, and their luau party? Tanked. No booze, no nothing. They chowed down on some burgers and chips and wandered off to do their usual. Ain’t no party like a BB9 party because a BB9 party....sucks.
James shows the guys his King.
Breaking news! The ants have once again invaded the BB house. All they have to do is go near Ryan’s food, though, and I’m sure he’ll wipe them out singlehandedly.
So, Wednesday comes, and James goes. He didn’t “terrorize” Nat as he had promised to, making just a few little swipes at her about her weight and how she stopped working out once Matt was booted. He didn’t even use the bag of flour he stashed in hopes of dousing her with it. *sigh* The HoH comp was indeed endurance, much to Natalie’s delight. Sharon, feigning a hurt back, dropped out almost immediately. The hamsters think she threw the comp on purpose. Ryan, pouring buckets of sweat and dreaming of pizza, amazingly lasts almost three hours before dropping. Sheila insists that she’s not going anywhere, and Nat drops out after three hours. Nat claims that she could have won but didn’t want to be evil like James and not let Sheila have her pictures. So the Big She wins it, chipping a tooth on the way down from her box. “Y’all gave it to me, but I did hang for 3 hours, and could have done another hour,” says Sheila. “Yeah, but I could have hung for 5, 6, or 7 more,” snipes Natalie. Braggy bitch.
Sheila got her much wanted pictures, letter from home, make-up, haircolor, and a bottle of wine that she proceeds to knock back. Ryan reads her letter for her because she’s too emotional. Not too emotional to nominate Adam and perennial block-warmer Sharon for eviction, though. Adam gets pissy with Sheila for nominating him, thinking there might be a conspiracy that he’s unaware of, but as of now the Big Plan is to backdoor Nat. God must have told Nat that something’s up, because she’s gone from being an egotistical motormouth to quiet and detached from the others, who seem to enjoy trashing the hell out of her when she walks off.
Not so fun to be isolated and lonely, is it, Nat?
Her only hope is to win veto, and she has a “feeling” it will be an endurance comp. “It’s not gonna be f***ing endurance, they are NOT gonna f***ing have us in a f***ing box for three hours and then have another endurance back to back!” Ryan tells her. Well then! Natalie goes to the DR to ask for some booze, but they tell her sucking back some Jesus Juice tonight probably wouldn’t be a good idea. That seals it - the hamsters are convinced that they’re having a late-night veto comp.
Do you guys smell pizza? No, really - where's the pizza?
Natalie immediately begins buzzing around in an attempt to save her ass in case she doesn’t win, trying to convince Sheila that Ryan needs to be put up in case Sharon or Adam win veto. Sheila pretty much blows her off, saying that she owes Ryan for saving her before. Nat leaves and Sharon joins Sheila in the HoH room. They laugh at Nat, until they see her heading their way again on the spy screen. “Here she comes again. This is a nightmare!” groans Sheila. “She’s like a f***ing gnat. She’s got the perfect name: Nat,” says Sharon. Hey, who let Sharon read the message boards?
Adam and Ryan plot to take out the girls one by one: Nat first, Sharon second, and Sheila third. How about play THIS week first, guys. The hamsters spend their time nervousing, waiting for the comp to begin. They tell stories to pass the time - like how Sharon’s brother convinced her sister to smoke a potpourri stick one time. Nat begins telling Jello wrestling stories, and people scatter.
Dear houseguests: please pack your things and leave.
BB9 has been cancelled due to lack of interest.
The comp started around midnight, hamster time, and we learned around 4:30am Friday morning that Adam, ball-scratching, nose-picking Adam, won the veto. It was the morph-o-matic comp (their heads were on the guinea pigs), which everyone thought Nat would win easily. She got smoked - Adam took around three minutes to her thirteen. Nat flings herself at the guys, talking in a grating baby voice and pleading that they “stick to the plan.” Tears. Drama. Adam asks “Don’t you want to see Mattie in sequester?” No, pouts Nat. He’s a bad person and she doesn’t like him anymore. She wants to see the mini table! Stick to the plan! Pleeeeaaaase! *sniffle*
Oh, brother. Adam’s happy. I’m ecstatic. The boys plan on stringing Nat along, making her think she’s safe, then blindsiding her. Let the implosion of Team Christ begin!
Thanks to AshleyPSU and misticati for the screencaps!