*This recap covers from noon Thursday to noon Friday Big Brother time*
I should warn you, this is the last live feed recap of the season. The very last one. Like, there won't be another one. Until next year. And to the dismay of all, I am the lucky cat that gets to bring you the final commentary, the end of the season snark. About an audience, they always say "leave them wanting more". In this case, you'll be wanting more all right. More than I can possibly offer, because NOTHING HAPPENED in the house. Well, not much, anyway. So let's get started, shall we?
Domo arigato, Mr. Donato
Okay, so I have no idea why I said that. But I've been singing that in my head while trying to gather what few thoughts I have to write this. C'mon, sing along with me...it translates to "thank you very much" I believe, and we ALL want to thank Dick right now, right? No? NO? All right, all right, I'll write the real recap. A sing-along would have been more fun.
Zach gets in one last pick before he hits the road.
The Final Countdown
Look, I've now referred to both Styx AND Europe in my titles, it's an 80's hit parade! nevermind! As my shift begins, our three little hamsters are on backyard lockdown. Daniele and Dick are snoozing on the stripey couches, while Zach is wandering around. It's soon over, and Dick and Daniele sleep some more inside, while Zach lays around and stares blankly. Dick still sleeps while Daniele gets up and showers, and Zach still stares blankly. Riveting. Lots of trivia, and it's showtime...
The devil gets his due.
Show's over, and the Donatos are the final two. Dick isn't even walking, he's floating on air around the house, like a balloon. He is beyond thrilled, and really, who can blame him? They are getting $550,000 smackers, no matter what. That will buy a whole lot of bleach to fix Daniele's horrible hair regrowth issue, and a whole lot of cigarettes. If Dick wins the big money will he share with Daniele? Sure! If Daniele wins the big bucks will she share with Dick? Sort of iffy. Big Brother sees fit to give them a lovely dinner (including tablecloth!) and you have to imagine that it's the last family dinner that they'll have in a long, long time.
It would be sort of elegant minus the constant burping.
"A toast to all the mother******s that wanted me out! Ha!"
They have sushi, and Dick goes on and on about how it's the biggest win of their lives. And it is. He is just giddy. Daniele, on the other hand, is her usual self. (see below)
"Woo, we won. Yippee. Whatever!"
Dick and Daniele get their stuff out of the storage room to take to the bedrooms, as they have FIVE more days in there. FIVE. I am not sure if I feel sorrier for Daniele for being stuck in there with Dick, or for him, being stuck with the whiniest brat I've ever seen. I think I feel worse for him. Daniele gets all pissy because Big Brother wants to close the small bedroom, so she has to put her things in the big bedroom. Hey, at least she doesn't have to share the bedroom with her dad, he's still got the circle beds all to himself.
"I'm going to hire the Pussycat Dolls to give me a massage when I get out of here!"
The entire evening consists of Dick raising his arms in a "v" for victory, saying "yes, we did it!" and assorted curse words. It's sort of cute to see him so daggone happy. He says "fairy tales can come true" a few zillion times. I don't remember the "live with strangers and win a lot of money" fairy tale, but maybe that's the lost chapters of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs or something. He is one happy dick. Or one happy Dick. However you look at it.
"Shuuuut upp! Final two, I knoooow!!!
Dick tries to get Daniele to say hello to her grandmother on the feeds, but she won't. I guess it's toooo haaard. Dick tells her that he's taking the champagne flutes, because it's like a symbol of their win. He asks Daniele if she wants them, and she says she'll take them when he dies. Such a lovely one, that girl.
"Ha, I wish that was Jen's head!"
Dick, not content with having punched the heck out of a prop on the show, then beating up a defenseless trash can, kicks the crap out of the tetherball. It would be all kinds of funny if it swung back around and smacked him in the head, but it doesn't.
Daniele bakes some cookies, and they bash the other houseguests a bit. Like Jen, for not taking a shower. That WAS really gross. Ewww.
Because there are things the internet just shouldn't know, like exactly how much Big Brother paid them to come on and pull off this "haven't talked to each other in years" farce (kidding! kidding!) Dick and Daniele cover up their mics and whisper. Why? What secrets do the Donatos have? We know every bodily function Dick has had for all this time, what can he possibly think he needs to hide from us. Dick, we thought we were tight with you, man.
Celebrating never gets old.
Dick wanders the back yard, folds towels, yells various things about winning, he is pumped up. How they ever manage to relax to sleep I have no idea, but they finally do, Dick dreaming of what he'll do with the money, and Daniele dreaming of time away from Dick.
Dick is nestled, all snug in his bed, while visions of cash dance through his head.
The next morning, they sleep in very late. Daniele gets all pissy with Dick (yet again) because he keeps telling her to smile. Hey, she won't smile for less than a FULL million, Daddy-o.
And that's it, the LAST live feed recap. Sorry it's so scant, but the end of a Big Brother season gives one little to work with. Plus, it fell on MY shift, so that's a double whammy for you readers. I hope you all had a good summer and don't feel nearly as sleazylicious as I do after a summer of Dick. 'Til next time...
A big shout out to all of you live-feed fans for keeping the forums hopping this summer!