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Thread: 9/7 BB Live Feed Recap: How do you Paint a Fart?

  1. #1
    would rather be cruising! marybethp's Avatar
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    Jun 2003

    9/7 BB Live Feed Recap: How do you Paint a Fart?

    This recap covers Friday noon to Saturday noon - BB time

    I wish I had all day to do nothing except tan and lounge by the pool and spy on people. These people don't know how lucky they are! As noon approaches in the BB house, Zach is sitting with all of his friends in the HOH room (that would be *nobody*) and reads his letter while spying on the Donatos in the kitchen. That conversation includes Dick burning the butter in his pan, Dani whining (really? I'm surprised, she never whines /end dripping sarcasm) about how Zach is cocky because he think's he's stepped up to the plate and Jameka is planning on taking a cold shower. Dani wants to wait in case the hot water comes back. (Hey Daniele - sniff sniff - I don't think you should wait). Daniele thinks Zach is putting her and Dick on the block. Dick gets more Dick-ish and slams around the pots & pans. Zach is actually talking to Daniele on the spy screen saying "you would have gone home last night if it wasn't for me". I hope he doesn't expect an answer. When I unmute Daniele I hear "I'm so tired. Uuuuggggh." Does she ever stop whining? (no, in case you wanted an answer)

    Don't you know how harrrrrrrrrrrrrrd it is for meeeeeeeeeeee?

    Daniele heads to the DR to ask questions while Dick decides to chill out and whistle The Beverly Hillbillies. Daniele was gone for about 2.3 seconds. I guess her questions were easy. Her and Dick think that the Zach situation is Dustin all over again. I don't. Zach has more than one shirt. D-squared are trying to figure out how many days are left - they think it's over a week from Sunday (making that September 16th). Wrong again! Dani just found out that if Zach does win the POV he can actually change his nominations. Daniele is complaining that she fails under pressure and she's worried about the comps. It's so stresssssssful, says Dani and that it's the harrrrrrdest thing she's ever been through in her life except her Grandpa dying. Other than that, Dani believes she's been through MUCH more than anyone else in the house. Daddy dearest concurs. Dick says Zach's playing for 2nd and he knows it. The what-if's go on until my ears bleed. I can't even switch feeds because the Donato's are everywhere. I can't believe I'm actually yearning for night vision of Eric and his socks. Dani then gives Dick permission to go bang pots in Zach's face. Who's the parent now? Dani tells Jameka that Zach told her he thinks he's played the best game of anyone left in the house. Is he delusional? (her words, not mine!)

    I'm Mr. Heat Miser, I'm Mr. Dick

    A quick spat between the Ogre and the Donkey - Dick proclaims they had a deal and Zach tells Dick all he has to do is win. Brief discussion with Dani and Jameka about how the POV is the most important and the nominations don't even matter. As they wait for the nomination ceremony, the houseguests spend the rest of the afternoon separately - Dani sleeps (she even whines in her sleep - I kid you not). Dick tried to sleep, but needed to smoke and spit, so ended up outside randomly screaming things like "we can do this Daniele" (apparently people like to talk to Daniele when she's not around) and "POV - one of us wins it, one of us wins the game. End of ** story". Zach sits in his HOH room listening to music and every once in a while saying "let the games begin" aloud to no one, as if he's listening to a recording of the Olympics. He also rambles about hoping CBS will help him get his reality show off the ground. Please, CBS, in the name of all that is holy, please don't even read it. Bury it in the BB backyard under the Jack Shack. Please. Jameka's also sleeping. The gym remains empty, even though it truly provides an activity for these slugs.

    Houseguests....This is a fire drill. Get your belongings and exit to the front of the house.

    Nope, that didn't happen, but wouldn't it be cool if it did? It would add a little spice to the house. I'm just sayin'.

    So we all know Dick won HOH, if only for 20 minutes. Da AliG felt bad, so she gave him an HOH basket which included some black nailpolish, some new t-shirts, some cigs, some soda, some Ho-Ho's (not Ho's, much to Dick's dismay), Cherry Garcia and a letter from his son. Apparently the youngest Donato likes Jessica, as the PS was "say hi to Jessica". Hey little D...sorry, she's taken by a weasel already. However, Dick decides to become a superspy and tells Daniele that there was a code in his letter. The first letter of the sentence and the last letter of the sentence were the people he couldn't trust. Turns out it was a J and an E. Jessica and Eric? Jen and Eric? Joe and Eric? Jameka and Eric? Then he said there was to be another code that if he could trust his tightest alliance it would say things were going great with his girlfriend but if not, it would say they broke up. Apparently the James Bond of BB preplanned these codes. Actually, Dick would rather be known as Johnny Fairplay, but I wouldn't want to insult the little blonde jackass. A little blue vortex time and they come back saying it was definitely Jen and Eric because Dick always suspected that thing that Jen and Eric had on the side. *hahahahahahahahaha IDIOT*

    After chomping on some Golden Grahams, Dani and Dick are outside talking about Vincent and the whole code thing. Zach gets called to the DR and we're to assume it's nomination time. We all know what comes next. Say it with me.... "gaze at the wall of houseguests and put on a perplexing look". Oh yeah, Zach does that all the time. Great - that should be done in only 1 take! Dick decides that since the nomination ceremony is coming up, the most important thing he needs to get done is take off his nailpolish. Whew. Thank God he remembered to do that!

    Jameka's God Bless You

    We come back from the rabbit hole and learn that the Donato's are indeed nominated. They could really care less and are laughing and carrying on in the kitchen. Daniele eats a whole grape or 2. Apparently Zach's speech was a play on the Alice theme and they went to town mocking him on that. They hope to win the veto tomorow and tell Zach "from bunny suits to mad hatter's to playing this game, screw you Zach". Zach also made Daniele uncomfortable by mentioning the fact that he and Daniele were "intimate". Wake up Zach!! You're dreaming again. Dick is still fixing the black nailpolish, apparently he wants it to be perfect and Daniele is peeling grapes and taking the tiny little seed out. Good Lord girl, you won't gain weight from a couple of grapeseeds! They are blathering on about POV and how important it is and how Dick said they actually have the perfect final 4. Dani said she would prefer Kail and Amber with them.

    It's dinner time in the BB house so Dani makes some sort of baked ziti concoction. She said they had to get rid of whatever it was that Jameka made the other night. Zach eats cereal and so graciously offers it to Dick & Daniele. What a sport. Dick finally tells Zach that he knows it was strategy but he didn't like the speech because it was laced with BS. Seems to me everything Dick spews is laced with BS, but he doesn't see it. I'm just sayin'. Zach continues chomping on the cereal and mutters "it's all true". He heads back to HOH for some mood music and Dani complains about how it sucks to be hated. Sad that she's just realizing that she's hated. I think her yellow bandana is on too tight. Jameka is working out, making her muscles nice and sore for the POV competition. Dani calls them to dinner and they have a nice, dysfunctional dinner for four.

    Pass the backstabbing please. Sure, can I have some hypocrisy?

    Zach and Jameka have a bonding sweat session in the gym both agreeing that it's necessary to get the Donato's out, invest their winnings and find a new church. That would sure make for a busy day. Dick and Dani are doing a shared DR. Should make for fun TV. They've been told there is a curfew this evening and have to be sent to bed early. Yay! Recapper doesn't have to stay up all night!!

    Finally Zach gets a hot shower, which is perfect timing considering he was sweating like a stuck pig in the gym. Jameka actually decides to go in the hot tub and invites Dani to join her, but Dani declines. She instead goes and pouts at the Nick picture on the wall. Somehow the microphone caught her innermost thoughts - not sure how that happened. Overheard from her head "oh Nick, how I can't wait to play with your pornstache. I'm sorry you got voted out, but just think, I wouldn't have received that girly scrapbooked note from you. I'll cherish it forever and put it in my hope chest. Were there any secret clues in it? See you at the wrap party where I can't wait to...oh, wait, what about Kris? Hmmm.. Kris. I wonder if I still have my job at Hooters? It's not fairrrrrrrrrr if I don't". Then the brain-o-phone shut off and we didn't hear anything else.

    The hamsters are brought out of the depths of boredom with a lovely arts & crafts set - they get to make CANDLES! Yes, you heard me, candles. Just to be sure, Jameka checks the age range - yup perfect for Dick. Ages 8+. But BB didn't want them to actually use the candles, so there are no wicks in the box. Now that, my fellow friends, makes for some Fuuuu-huhhhhh-uuun. But wait, the fun doesn't stop there. Now they get to paint on plates and are told by BB to draw the other houseguests. I think it's hard to draw a rodent on a plate, but I'm guessing it's pretty easy to draw teardrops. Amber's represennnnnnnntin'. They are coming up with funny stuff about what represents the previous houseguests. Eric should be a mouth, Jen can be "me me me", Zach can be an angry little weiner and Dani suggests Dick should be a fart. I told you. Funny, right? (work with me people!)

    So they finish the entralling evening of arts & crafts and after a brief stop in the DR for Daddy Donato, they head to bed.

    Jameka actually says the word Dick instead of ED, so she's scrubbing her mouth clean

    Dick gets up and has some cereal and tells nobody in particular that today's the day he's going to call out Zach for being a racist. He turns to the camera and tells them if they continue to follow him all day, he'll keep repeating it. He attacks some ants and heads back to bed. For a while, his feed can be heard with sounds that don't quite sound like crying, but not laughing either. It is determined that it is maniacal laughter. The man is actually laying in bed, under the covers and laughing. He's ready. He screams out random eff you's and POV baby. Jameka briefly gets up and then back to sleep on the bathroom couch.

    A quick vortex informing them they are to get up and they get dressed and are all full of nervous energy for the day. Eventually, Jameka and Zach are in the HOH reviewing all sorts of past competitions deciding if it's one of the types that you have to get one player out they should get out Dani and if it's croquet, get out Dick. Now THAT is a strategy! They are obsessing over past comps and getting themselves crazy. Zach keeps muttering "cut the blue wire". Daniele hides under her happy birthday sign and Dick is joneses for a smoke during this inside lockdown.

    POV is to be held at approximately 1:00 BB time while this recapper is poking needles in her eyes to forget the boredom. LET THE GAMES BEGIN! (wait, is that Amber carrying a torch??)

    The much anticipated list of things we could care less about:
    • Zach told Dani he's thrown so many competition which causes Dani to roll her eyes
    • Dani wished she had a secret code in her letter besides 153. Something that helped in the game. How about 47. STOP WHINING
    • Jameka had bad gas and then needed immodium. You do the math
    • Zach has a minor in theology
    • Jameka thinks chocolate cookies make her poop
    • Jameka wants to hang out with Eric in NYC (hopefully he doesn't take her out for chocolate chip cookies)
    • I have never seen anyone brush their teeth as fiercely as Jameka

    Thanks Snapit for the screencap. Howwwwwwwwwdeeeeeeeee!!
    Last edited by marybethp; 09-09-2007 at 10:56 AM.

  2. #2
    A pirate's life for me suncat7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Black Pearl

    Re: 9/7 BB Live Feed Recap: How do you Paint a Fart?

    Fantastic job, Marybeth!
    Always looking for cat treats!

    Breathe out, so I can breathe you in...

  3. #3
    Old, Jaded & Cranky... PK...'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Razorback Country....

    Re: 9/7 BB Live Feed Recap: How do you Paint a Fart?

    Great job... Loved it...
    Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. ~Mark Twain

  4. #4
    Who Dat lildago's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004

    Re: 9/7 BB Live Feed Recap: How do you Paint a Fart?

    Houseguests....This is a fire drill. Get your belongings and exit to the front of the house.
    Brilliant! I think striking a match and tossing it on the house is the best way to erase this season.

    Great recap, marybeth!
    Getting lost will help you find yourself.

  5. #5

    Re: 9/7 BB Live Feed Recap: How do you Paint a Fart?

    Dani wished she had a secret code in her letter besides 153. Something that helped in the game. How about 47. STOP WHINING
    Hilarious recap, marybeth! Thank you so much for doing this.

  6. #6
    FORT Fan soapqueen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003

    Re: 9/7 BB Live Feed Recap: How do you Paint a Fart?

    Great job! Love Dani's innermost thoughts...

  7. #7
    FORT Newbie ttlyeightgirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    reality USA

    Re: 9/7 BB Live Feed Recap: How do you Paint a Fart?

    seriously WHAT is up with Jameka and the poop thing? All season long it's like a major topic of discussion with her.... Annoying!

  8. #8
    You may rely on it. Magic 8 Ball's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006

    Re: 9/7 BB Live Feed Recap: How do you Paint a Fart?

    Jameka is working out, making her muscles nice and sore for the POV competition.
    I don't know why, but it's always the subtle little snide comments like this one that seem to crack me up the most.

    Great recap as always.

  9. #9
    Peace MsFroggy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Up here in my tree...

    Re: 9/7 BB Live Feed Recap: How do you Paint a Fart?

    They've been told there is a curfew this evening and have to be sent to bed early. Yay! Recapper doesn't have to stay up all night!!
    I'm so glad you got to sleep and churned out such a funny recap!
    "Feel the sky blanket you/ With gems and rhinestones/ See the path cut by the moon/ For you to walk on" - EV

  10. #10
    TV Junkie amycue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    New York

    Re: 9/7 BB Live Feed Recap: How do you Paint a Fart?

    I so wish they would have done that fire drill!!!

    Great recap!


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