This recap covers Wednesday noon to Thursday noon, house time.
Feed watchers, did you know that that….
- The winner will be in the house 80 days, 1920 hours, or 115,200 minutes.
- 19 and a quarter laps around the backyard equals one mile.
- There are 116 windows in the Big Brother house.
Another Wednesday in the Big Brother house and it stinks. I mean, it literally stinks. It must. It’s day 6 of cold water and most of them are only showering occasionally. Eric announced that he hasn’t showered in a week. In college, my dorm had community showers and if you didn’t get up at the crack of dawn, there was no hot water. So, I know that a cold shower isn’t pleasant. However, I’m floored that the solution for these people is to simply go without washing. And an entire week? Good grief! I really don’t know how Jess can stand to have Eric climbing all over her.
The afternoon is not exciting in the least. Jess and Jameka lay in the sun while Dick and Dani bash Zach and discuss getting rid of Eric next week. Jess showers and spends 15 minutes in front of the mirror in the workout room applying tanning lotion. Jess then packs. Zach follows Dani around like a lost puppy. Zach gets his HOH camera and takes various pictures around the house. The guys seems to be the only ones that are really gung ho over posing for Zach. Jess is getting ready in the bathroom and tells Zach she doesn’t want him to take her picture while they’re alone. Huh? So, Dick and Zach go to wake up Dani for pictures and she isn’t very happy about it. Then again, she isn’t happy about much of anything.
Jess decides to take a nap and Eric stands beside her bed rubbing all over her. He’s sniffing and rubbing his eyes. I can’t tell if he’s crying or if the smell of his unwashed body is starting to get to him. Jess invites Eric to join her and he quickly runs to brush his teeth and gargle with mouthwash. Apparently, he doesn’t plan to sleep. Now keep in mind, the boy hasn’t showered in a week but all he needs is a little mouthwash and he’s good to go. He climbs into bed with Jess and they snuggle and smooch. Suddenly, Janelle and some dorky guy appear on camera 4. My first thought was that Skippy screwed up but Janelle holds up a sign that says “6 pm PST *heart* Janie.” Finally, we get audio and I abandon the sickening Jessica/stinky weasel smoochfest. Sorry to all of you Jess/stinky weasel fans but I’d rather see Janelle any day. Without even watching Jess and Eric, I can tell you what happened. I’m pretty sure it went something like this…..whisper, whisper, whisper, smooch, smooch, smooch, sniffle, sniffle, sniffle.
So…..it’s Superpass’ exclusive chat with Janelle. The dorky host is some guy named Laramie. No, I’m not kidding. His name is really Laramie. The first question is naturally about Will Kirby. They’re still friends but don’t talk as much as when they first left the house. She also still talks to Howie, Kaysar, Boogie, and gets an occasional text message from Marcellus. Janelle says that her favorite houseguests are Dani and Dick with Zach as the third. At this point, she thinks Dani is playing the most strategic game and she’d like to see her win the money. Most humorous were her thoughts about Eric. Most humorous because I can’t stand Eric. When asked about the comments Eric made about her at the veto competition, she replied, "It was just weird and he's a total douchebag for saying that. He never has a kind thing to say about anyone and I was not threatened by a 5’5” little weasel. He's my least favorite person on Big Brother. I was standing behind a thin screen and Eric was saying a lot more than what they showed on TV…..things like, "She's so nasty." He was talking major league crap about me and when I walked out, he looked like the biggest loser and he was shaking and stuff and I was like, “That's right, bitch.” She will be at the wrap party but doesn’t plan to even waste her time talking to Eric. Too bad because I’d love for her to lay into him. I’m pretty sure she could easily kick America’s rat’s ass. Janelle does watch the feeds but says it’s been boring lately. We share the sentiment, Janie! She’d quit watching completely if Eric and Jess were the final 2. When questioned about her flirting with Dick, she laughed. She thinks Dick is very charming(Oh, is that what it’s called?) and sweet with Dani. There was a lot of flirting between them but she says it’s not like she wanted to “take him in the back room and bang him.” She has a boyfriend and is very happy. Her plan is to move to Minnesota next year and open a doggie boutique. While in Minnesota this summer, she invited Nick over to have dinner with her, the boyfriend, her best friend, Nate, and her dog, Bear. She felt Nick and Dani had natural chemistry unlike Eric and Jess. According to Janie, Eric gets Jess drunk so he can kiss all over her. Hee! She might be on to something there.
Janie answers questions and chats for an hour. It’s a nice break from the usual boredom. Next week, the chat will feature Howie and possibly Kaysar. Superpass must know how much we despise this season’s hamsters and how we long for the days of excitement, strategy, and decent conversation that doesn’t center around “poop” or sex. I know Howie wasn’t the most mature houseguest but I’d rather hear him yell out “boobies” for no good reason than listen to Eric’s “in the greater scheme of things” one more time.
Now for those of you who were disappointed over my failure to recap Eric and Jess’ earlier snuggling, I endured this morning’s make out session. For reasons that I cannot fathom, Jess simply lies there and lets Eric pretty much have his way with her. Sadly, she doesn’t realize that some things just don’t wash off. He paws at her under the covers and slurps all over her neck and face as usual. At one point, the blanket is pulled down and Eric clearly has his hand in her shirt. Jess finally realizes they’re uncovered and yanks the blanket back up. They make out for a while and I’ll spare you all of the details. Things got all hot and heavy and Eric asked her if she wanted him to stop. She did. Hell, I did too! My breakfast was starting to come back up. He said he needed to “compose” himself. For more than one reason, I’m thinking a cold shower would be a good idea but he goes into the bathroom stall. After a few minutes of um, composing himself, he returned to the bedroom where he strips and wipes himself with his dirty shorts. He pulls on a clean pair and the disgusting little weasel promptly returns to Jess’ bed. Ew! I am now completely disgusted. There’s no shower, no soap, not even a sponge bath. Just a quick wipe down with a dirty pair of shorts. This, America, is your alliance. This is the season’s big twist. *sigh*
- Eric had two nosebleeds and dammit, not one was from someone punching him in the face.
- Dick says he’d tell a girlfriend if she was putting on too much weight.
- Dani wants to tell Eric to stop washing the dishes. She found some he’d supposedly washed that were still dirty. Ratboy isn’t very thorough with his cleaning. Imagine that!
- Eric takes a glass of water with him to the DR. He says he talks so much in there that he gets cottonmouth.
- Jameka asks if anyone has a message for those in sequester. Sounds like she’s sure she’s leaving.
- Eric is sporting a fuzzy upper lip. On him, it really does look like a pornstache.
How long would you live in the house with Eric before telling him to go wash his dirty ass? PM me.