*This is a recap of events from noon Monday to noon Tuesday*
As my shift starts, I’m treated to all four feeds on the Doom and Gloom sisters, Jameka and Jessica. As expected, Daniele did not use the veto on either of them. Jessica is talking about packing her stuff for the upcoming eviction show while Jameka lays forlornly on the bed. I can’t tell if they’re depressed or hung over from last night. Maybe some of both. Dick gets Jameka alone outside and tells her that she’s going home. He says that he and Daniele talked, and they just want to be up front and honest about things. *snort* She says she’s fine, it’s just a game.
It IS all a game, because Dick and Daniele’s real plan is to boot Jessica, not Jameka. Dick plans on cornering Jameka right before the live vote and forcing her to make a deal: do what he wants and she can stay. Even though she’s staying anyway, she doesn’t know that. Jessica has no clue that she’s the one they plan on voting out right now. But, you know how plans go in this house. This could change at any minute. Dick goes back inside to tell Jessica and Eric what he told Jameka. At least somebody’s got some game in this house. Jessica actually asks if she should bother packing since she knows she’s not going home!
Some tidbits for your perusal:
- Zach has a sand collection. Yes, you read that right. A sand collection.
- Daniele says that she would have tried out again if she hadn’t made it on the show this year.
- Eric, who is from New York, has never been to Times Square for New Year’s. He hates it there.
- Zach made the furniture in his house. He welded some scrap stuff together after designing it on a computer.
- Jessica’s grandma has outlasted six husbands. Take note, Eric.
- Dick thinks it was funny that Daniele was mad because he “hogged” Janelle, her hero.
- Dustin left peanut butter in a glass in the mini fridge, and Zach just now found it.
- Zach thinks people watching this season will call him the village idiot. He said it, not me.
- Zach used to work at Billabong in Universal Studios. He lasted about a month.
Zach shows us why he's single.
Jessica, Eric and Dick gather in the kitchen for snacks, and Eric jokingly (I think) offers to pack Jess’s panties for her. This conversation degrades into how to wash soiled underwear and more Jen bashing. Because the two subjects go together, I suppose. *sigh* Dick goes outside with Zach to fill him in on the Jameka conversation - finally, Zach has a real alliance! They laugh at how Jessica is now being overconfident. Dick hates having to keep Jameka in the house until next week: “It f***ing kills me that she’s not going this week. I want her gone.” Zach thinks it’ll be a great advantage for them in the next HoH comp because Eric will still be in shock from Jessica’s “surprise” eviction and won’t be able to play well. Never underestimate the power of the weasel, Zach. Zach tells Dick that he’d rather lose to him and Daniele because they’re so cool, he couldn’t stand to lose to those “fools.”
Alone in the kitchen, Jessica and Eric discuss how they’ll get rid of Zach next week. Not Dick, not Daniele - Zach. Poor, delusional hamsters. They’ve really fallen for Dick’s BS, and think the four of them still have a solid alliance. I almost feel bad listening to them. I said almost.
Jessica goes out to soak up some sun while Skippy pervs all over her, panning up and down her body. She jumps in the pool, aka Dick’s personal spittoon, and plays with the rubber ducky, trying to stand on it. She quickly tires of trying to drown the duck and goes to fold laundry. Sorry, folks, this is about as exciting as afternoons get in this house. Jess heads up to take a nap, as do Eric and Jameka. Daniele decides to go work out, then sits down to eat watermelon and make cookies. I should note that she sits her bony behind on the counter to do so. Silly me, I stand up when I’m baking. Skippy spies an errant ant crawling around the mixing bowl, but Daniele never sees it. She was probably distracted by Zach’s incessant droning. Dani continues shaping cookies in between licking dough from her fingers. Not the most sanitary people I’ve ever seen, that’s for sure. Zach and Dani talk about movies and tv shows - Dani loved the finale of Seinfeld. Eric would have totally lost the Master of his Domain contest. Hee! Zach talks about Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but when he mentions the Oompa Loompas, we get trivia. Oompa Loompas didn’t sign waivers.
Jessica's grown a third boob. Oh, wait. That's just Eric.
Jameka crawls out of bed and makes her way to the kitchen. She tells the others that she asked BB if they were getting food for Labor Day and they pretty much blew her off. No cookout for you, bad hamsters! She makes small talk with Daniele as the latter picks her shoulder, teeth, split ends, what have you. Jameka shares that this was her third time trying out for BB, and can’t believe she was picked. Daniele thought she was way too boring to be chosen. I concur. Zach zachs back into the kitchen with some Twizzlers (yum) while Jameka chops the living hell out of something, making so much noise I have to turn the feeds down. That, and Dick’s snoring on the other feed is loud enough for my neighbors to hear. Not that I really care. *shakes fist at my terrible neighbors*
Eric graces everyone with his presence, bitching about his three hour nap. He says he slept too hard and is all discombobulated now. He looks that way to me all the time, so I really don’t see a difference. Zach talks about Hooters wings and some kind of hot sauce that was so hot it melted the bottle. Nobody listens. Dick has finally returned to the upright position, joining the others in the kitchen.
And they wonder why they have bugs.
Dinner is served, and I have no idea what Jameka has made. It must be edible, though, from the sounds of the slobs at the table chowing down. Chomping, smacking, Jen dissing, clanking of plates, more Jen dissing, burping. These people have the table manners of starving wildebeests. Oh, and Daniele has to explain to Zach how they harvest cranberries. He thought they threw them in lakes, but Dani explains that they flood the fields and the ripe ones rise to the top. They discuss what they’ll do for Showtime that night, and Zach suggests they bathe in the sink like Will and Janie did last year. That’s the best he could come up with, people.
Eric: "Previously on Showtime, they did nothing, yet again. We should have canceled it weeks ago."
They speculate on the upcoming HoH questions, then make fun of Zach’s speech when he was on the block. To his face. But Zach doesn’t care – he says he’s sick of the same old boring speeches, so he wanted to say something different. Daniele wonders who will get the fan question from Julie this week. Dick says he was awestruck at seeing his own puss on the tv last week. At least that was his excuse for the non-answer he gave the Chenbot about his spitting. Little does Dani know, there won’t be time for such drivel this Thursday…
Eric plays "Pop Goes The Weasel" under the blankets.
It’s “Showtime,” and Zach and Dick are out playing Frisbee. Then I hear Eric telling Jessica and Jameka he wants them to shave matching letter “J’s” into their pubic hair. Okay, then, I’m going back out to Dick and Zach. Gawd.
A booze alert leads them to the storage room, where they have been gifted with 12 beers and a bottle of wine. This leads to another game of quarters. Well, it would if they could find the quarter. They accuse Eric of losing it, but he says he didn’t do it. Jessica probably drank it. Daniele is the only one to have enough sense to ask the DR for another quarter, and they give her one after Eric makes a smartassed comment about BB using their stipend money to just give them a roll of quarters already. So, we get another thrilling night of quarters. Yippee.
Annnnd it’s over as soon as the beer runs out. Thank god. Dick, Zach, and Dani go outside to bitch about how immature and irritating the others are, while Eric plops down in between Jessica and Jameka on the fainting couch in the bathroom. Jameka grabs at Eric’s crotch. Twice. I’m thinking Jameka needs to lay off the hooch. Jessica, too, as she rams her foot into Eric’s crotch for some unknown reason. They all cackle manically. They then talk about how Jessica “did a doody” earlier (oh, for the love of Pete…) and conversation turns to a bar fight Jessica had back in Wichita. Lovely.
That's as close to second base as Eric will ever get.
Meanwhile, Dick is ripping on Jameka for acting like she’s entitled to win the game, and how she put cottage cheese in the lasagna earlier. So that’s what that was? Huh. No wonder so many of them were scraping leftovers into the trash.
Eric and Jess hit the sack early for kissyface time and cuddle up with their arms around each other, whispering things that I’m glad I can’t hear. They whisper about something that “feels kinda nice.” I switch to Dick, down in the kitchen, calling people pigs and cleaning like a maniac. Out of nowhere, he says “we’re so f***ing close.” He gets a late-night snack, hates on Jameka some more, and goes to get ready for bed as he lets out an enormous belch loud enough to measure on the Richter scale. He could win a contest, hands-down, if there was a contest for such things.
A record heat wave in L.A., and this girl wears a fur-trimmed jacket.
Okay, back to Jess and Eric. As much as it pains me to listen to their baby talk, I shall do so for all three of their fans out there. Jessica asks if Eric sings Christmas carols. Uh, that would be a negative, Jess. She then asks if he sings Hanukkah carols. Ugh. Jessica tells him that she’ll participate in Hanukkah activities but won’t sing the songs. Eric plays upset, because she has such an awesome singing voice. Seriously, he said that. They continue the stealth whispering, which I hate. Eric’s lips are about 1 inch from hers as he babbles, and I hope for her sake that he’s brushed those choppers of his.
Dick rises from the dead for one last round, nabbing six rolls of toilet paper from the storage room and smoking one more cigarette. He wonders aloud if he will be able to sleep tonight. “My god, she is going to be crushed,” he says. He falls into bed after hacking and spitting his way inside.
Not much goes on in the morning. Daniele makes breakfast burritos for herself and Dick, scrambling the eggs with a metal fork in a non-stick pan. They have a lovely conversation filled with Jen bashing, Jameka bashing, and Amber bashing. Dick says it would be a great day for America’s Choice, and Dani replies that America probably hates them, and we don’t want them to have anything.
Thanks to bbnbama and Snapit for the terrific caps!