This recap covers Wednesday noon to Thursday noon, house time.
My shift begins with everyone in the kitchen. Dick has Eric pinned to the floor and is beating him to a bloody pulp. In the dining room, Jess is swinging Dani around by the hair. Amber, Jameka, and Zach are standing on chairs chanting, “Jer-ry, Jer-ry, Jer-ry!” Nah, not really. But I wish. The truth is not that interesting. It’s mind-numbing actually.
It begins with Amber whispering something to Jameka that I can’t hear. It’s either not very interesting or it’s the same thing she’s been babbling about for days because Jameka keeps dozing off. She’s looking at Amber and her eyes slowly close. A few seconds later, they suddenly pop open and she tries to appear interested. Amber hasn’t missed a beat and continues to whisper enthusiastically. Finally, they get up. Amber goes out to fold her clothes. She knows exactly how many shirts are in the pile she just folded and says that proves that she can “just see things.” I wonder if she sees me sitting here shaking my head. They gossip about Eric and Jess. They don’t like the way he’s running Jess’ HOH and think he’s playing her the way that Boogie played Erica. Hmm, I wonder. I guess it’s possible but he should be thankful that someone’s giving his annoying little ass the time of day. Amber rambles on about her doctor. According to her, he said he’d do liposuction on her knees, love handles, and stomach for only $900 because he loves her so much. I told you, the fact is not as much fun as the fiction. The one interesting tidbit I gleaned from this discussion is that Amber thinks she has Dani’s vote. They apparently talked earlier and Amber thinks they bonded. She also shares with Jameka that Dani thinks it’s over between her and Kris. She’s okay with it though because she isn’t going to pass up an opportunity to be with Nick. Let’s start a pool on how long it will take Nick to tire of her incessant pouting and whining. I’ll say two weeks, maybe a month.
The rest of the afternoon is as dull as dishwater. Eric sits in the living room picking at his toes. Seriously. Then he chews on his fingers. The same fingers that picked the dirty toes. Seriously. Zach and Dani workout. Dani lays in the sun. Jess sleeps. Dick smokes. Dick swears as he kills ants in his bedroom. Amber prays. Amber lays out. Jameka cleans the fridge. That’s about it. When I tell you I wanted to bang my head against the wall, it’s no exaggeration. Zach talks a little game with Eric. He wants to know how the vote will go. He offers Eric a one week deal not to put each other up if they win HOH. Eric doesn’t take it and says he hasn’t thought about that scenario yet. He tells Zach that he cares about Jess and suggests that he let her know that there are no hard feelings for putting him up. He goes on and on, saying the same things over and over. I’d rather watch Jameka clean the fridge.
Dinner arrives from The Rainbow Bar & Grill on Sunset Blvd. They get salads, steak, lobster, and dessert. Eric is allergic to lobster. Jameka freaks out because Amber throws away some fries and then complains about Jess throwing away mozzarella cheese sticks. Dick teases Amber about Drew Carey teaching her a new word. And that’s how exciting dinnertime is tonight. Riveting. As soon as they finish, Dani hops on the treadmill because she wants to be buff for the wrap party. She says she wants to barf and she only ate a few bites of steak, fries, and dessert. I’m thinking that running on a treadmill immediately after eating might be a reason for that barfy feeling but what do I know?
Amber and Jameka discuss the vote again. They think Amber should work on Dani because she’s the swing vote. Amber, the soothsayer, foresees a tie vote. She “can see it.” Julie will announce the tie and Jess will cast the deciding vote. You’d think she’d have predicted the percentage of people who think pit bulls should not be kept as pets would be a little higher. I’m just sayin’.
Amber : I’m so good with my words.
Just as BB After Dark begins, the Donatos have a little spat. Convenient, huh? It’s been as dead as a funeral parlor all day but we get a little drama for Showtime viewers. Only a little drama though. The bickering doesn’t last long and Dick heads to the harem room where he says he’s sick of Dani’s attitude. So am I, Dick, so am I. The best part about their little tiff is that Amber thinks they're fighting over her because Dick is mad about Dani's plan to give Amber her vote. Amber then goes on a crying binge because Zach made a comment about her daughter. It was something about how he can’t believe she’s there with a kid at home. He can’t imagine how it would be having a kid right now. Basket case that she is, Amber lost it and said he’s using her heart against her. According to her, God will not allow Zach to stay over her, especially after he said that.
Dick starts in on Jen…..again. I think the guy is obsessed with her. He lists the “naked” things she did. She wore the unitard with no underwear, walked around in a towel flashing America, and lost her top twice. He also said that took off her bra halfway through the live show. What? We didn’t see that. Julie’s holding out on us!
- Eric said the Big Brother stipend is $9,000.
- Zach gave Eric a haircut. Eric then shaved his chest hairs….all 5 of them.
- Dani’s favorite number is 10 because a guy she used to like had that football number.
- Jameka is planning to wear white pants for the live show since she doesn’t wear white after Labor Day.
- Eric's favorite foods are Jello, chicken, spaghetti, french fries, jelly rings, pizza, McDonalds, sweet & sour sauce, and Dunkin' Donuts.
- There’s a lot of talk about their microphones. Each costs $4,000. They say that Joe once dropped his in the toilet. Dick thinks that his holds a homing device for Homeland Security. Eric says that he once left his off for 2 hours and no one cared. I wish he’d do it again.
- Amber thanks God for the people in the DR who told her to fight.
The houseguests were on a 6 hour lockdown inside while the crew set up for the upcoming HOH competition. Dick was like a caged animal without nicotine. When they were allowed outside, this is what they saw…..
They speculate about what’s under the tarp and Dick complains that it took so long. Six hours without a smoke makes Dick grumpy.
Early this morning, Jess and Eric snuggle in bed. There’s a lot of kissing going on. She plays with his nipple rings and he tells her that one of these days she’s going to pull them out. Oh, now that I’d like to see. He says that he hates when people play with his belly button though. It gives him the chills. Ew, just the thought of touching his belly button gives me the chills. And not in a good way. They’re more like shivers actually. So, he plays with her belly button instead. She says it feels good. These two are nauseating. I can’t believe I was cheering them on a couple of weeks ago. Eventually, they knock it off and roll over for a little sleep. A few hours later when Big Brother wakes up the house, I hear the first few bars of “Love Shack” by the B-52’s. I think Billy Idol’s “Dancing With Myself” would be more appropriate since that’s what Eric will be singing when the show is over and Jess dumps him like a hot potato. I digress.
The houseguests are on the usual Thursday morning lockdown in HOH. Dick barks at Zach to get his stories straight. He tells him that they compared stories last night and warns him that he’s going home. Zach tries to talk to him about it but Dick wants to go to sleep and tells him to f*** off. I’m not really sure what that’s all about since the last I heard, the plan was to get rid of Amber. In fact, early this morning, I heard Dick say "Goodbye, Amber, long overdue." My shift concludes with Dani and Zach whispering as the others sleep.
It seems to be the unanimous opinion that Big Brother should update the trivia we see when the feeds are blocked. Since they have not done so, I took the liberty of doing it myself.
Thanks to MsFroggy for the trivia input.
What do you think is under the tarp? PM me if you think it’s a vat of hot tar big enough to hold all of these losers.