*This is a recap of events from noon Monday to noon Tuesday*
Anybody else notice how much more likable Jessica has become since we first saw her introduced? Maybe she’s redeemed herself since the days of the five dollar high school drama with Carol and the snotty comments about girls who use curling irons, or maybe she’s just the best we’ve got in a house full of dorks. We have a whiny brat princess, a 44 year old chain smoker with Tourette’s, a social moron with hygiene issues, a delusional cocktail waitress, God’s personal player in the BB house, and our very own twitchy America’s Playa. Casting strikes out again.
So anyway, Eric decided to not use the veto and gave a speech that lasted for eons (according to some in the house), Amber is busy having a pity party for herself, and Jameka has cleaved onto Jessica with a vengeance. People are still making fun of Zach’s speech at the POV ceremony, saying it was confusing and pointless. Then again, most of what comes out of Zach’s mouth is confusing and pointless. Jameka does some Zach bashing over his lack of hand washing after using the bathroom, while Jessica and Daniele bash on Kail and Jen and whoever else isn’t around to defend themselves. Hamster bashing - the official game of Big Brother 8!
Nick is gone, but I'll always have his *sniff* water bottle.
Afternoon in the hamster house, and it’s more of the usual. Amber makes grilled cheese sandwiches (better watch that figure, Tyra might be calling!) while Zach blathers on about how he wants to use his edumacation for his live speech Thursday. He says it’ll be like a Nobel Prize speech. Amber asks what that means. Nah, she didn’t really. But I know she wanted to. Seeing what Amber is making, Zach comments that American cheese has 70 calories per slice, which translates into 6 minutes on the treadmill for each slice. Amber doesn’t get the hint.
Too stupid to be believed:
- Daniele declared to no one in particular (meaning us) that “if anyone wants to buy me a new car, I need one.” Yeah, I’ll get right on that.
- Dick asked the DR people if Jen went to sequester, but they didn’t give him a straight answer. Dick wasn’t pleased.
- Amber says she has smashed her boyfriend’s truck with a rock and tried to run him over with her car. Now that’s godly behavior.
- Eric has a friend who benched an imaginary basketball player in a video game because of his perceived “attitude problems.” He should introduce this nut to Amber, they’d hit it off.
- Jessica thinks Jews don’t celebrate Thanksgiving.
- Eric pays $2600 a month for rent in New York.
- Dick thinks Paris Hilton got a raw deal with her jail time.
Amber heads off for a nap after loading up on carbs, as do Jess and Eric. Zach zachs off to the pool. Daniele works on her tan, and Jameka makes a sandwich out of Dick’s leftover chicken parmesan, putting ketchup on it. Bleah. Dick mutters under his breath about everyone laying around when there is a “mountain of s*** to be done.” He flops on the couch in disgust. Zach asks Daniele about the oysters at Hooters, and she says she never eats them because they look like little vajay-jays. I'll never look at oysters quite the same way. Thanks a lot, Daniele. This brings Jameka running, as she’s never one to miss out on a disgusting discussion such as this. Dick, still splayed on the couch, belches loud enough to shake small critters from the surrounding trees.
Dick rocks the ever-popular mandanna.
Amber awakens from her *cough* beauty sleep and shuffles out to bug Jameka. Anyone else think Amber walks like an old man with hip problems? I’m just sayin’. Jameka thinks that the two of them should go to Jessica and try to get her to team up with them. Amber claims that she doesn’t want to win HoH this week (like that was a problem), but she wants to get it the next week to keep Jameka safe. She thinks it’ll be an endurance comp, and Jameka tells her to get her crap together and quit eating junk to be prepared. Like she’s going to lose those jelly rolls in a couple of days. Oh, that's right. Amber thinks she has a model-ready bod. I want the mirror she's looking in, seriously. Amber still insists that she was put in the house to be discovered as a model or a motivational speaker. Excuse me while I go recover from a laughing fit.
I come back to see Zach has become Daniele's personal trainer, encouraging her in the gym. She’s actually…working out! Like, breaking a sweat and everything. This is the same girl who thought it was too much effort to peel a carrot the other night? I guess she gained an ounce or two and needs to get rid of it before those size 0 clothes just won’t fit anymore. It doesn't last very long, though. She complains about how she doesn’t like perspiring and quits. I guess Zach isn’t so inspiring after all. Or maybe it was the sight of Amber, working off those grilled cheese sandwiches next to her.
I think her time would be better spent doing some ab crunches.
Puppy love or the beginnings of a restraining order: you decide.
For some inexplicable reason, Skippy forces the Boring Trivia upon us for over an hour this evening. Rumor has it that the houseguests got to watch the Power of Ten show that Amber and Dani were on. Lucky them. I’m being sarcastic, in case you couldn’t tell.
Eric and Jessica discuss their life after BB, and where they will live after they get married. Jessica tells him that he’s not allowed to go home, and that “Kansas is your new life.” Eric wants to move to L.A. after a year, but Jessica blows him off. I can totally see Eric as the henpecked hubby, and Jessica telling him what to do. He says she’d love New York, she insists he’d love Kansas. This turns into a discussion of which place is better. Eric is iffy about the food in Kansas, saying there are several great pizzerias within walking distance of his place in N.Y., but Jess proclaims that Kansas has a Pizza Hut. Well la-ti-da. Eric contains himself and doesn’t laugh at her. I do, however.
Chez Dick is cranking up for dinner service, and on tonight’s menu is mozzarella, mushroom and spinach-stuffed chicken topped with marinara sauce. Yum. The booze fairy drops by the storage room to leave twelve beers and no wine. Twelve beers for seven people? Usual dinnertime conversation commences about the finer points of passing gas, but I’ll spare you the details. Amber goes to lay in bed all by herself, balancing a water bottle on her head and picking her nails. She later mopes outside to the backyard, imitating the BB voice saying “Thank you, thank you very much.” The shrinks will be lined up at the door when this one gets booted out.
My eyes are up here, Eric.
At some point this evening, Jessica made a comment about looking in a particular mirror that made one's eyes look Chinese. Eric somewhat jokingly called her a racist and she didn't take it very well. "I can't win in this house," says Eric.
Dick, about Amber: “I think she is the ugliest girl in the house.”
Jessica: “I think she has a pretty face.”
Dick: “For a horse.”
Zach, Dick, Jess and Eric talk about what kind of animal they’d want to be. Jessica wants to be a penguin. Dick says he’d be a monkey for the opposable digits. Zach then reveals that he ate seven hot dogs before he worked out, and is now burping hot dogs. He then farts so loudly that Jameka can feel it from several feet away. Thanks for sharing, Zach. I know his parents are proud. Amber is now taking a marathon shower, and I hope for the sake of my retinas she doesn’t flash us again. Outside talk degrades into vomit, poop, restaurants, and the wrap party. Once again, I’ll spare you. By 3 am the hamsters are all asleep. Hallelujah. I’m going to need that memory erasing gadget from Men In Black when this is all over.
By late morning Tuesday, they were all still asleep. One interesting note: Eric didn’t sleep in the HoH room with Jessica. She kept the lights on while she slept – maybe bright light keeps the weasels away.
Thanks once again to Snapit for the terrific screencaps!