This recap covers noon Friday until noon Saturday.
The noon hour arrives to find the houseguests chatting and eating breakfast. Big Brother woke them up about 11:00 a.m, and they are expecting a food competition. Daniele is quizzed about her grades and she reveals that she had a 4.24 GPA. There is a bit of unintentional comedy when Amber pours herself a bowl of cereal, and Daniele jokingly thanks her for doing that in front of her since now she’ll just have to pour herself a bowl, too. Amber whips around and with a mouthful of sugary cereal tells her to “shut your face, you little s**t.” Ha…ha? Daniele doesn’t warm to the joke, telling Amber it was rude.
As the stories about fat high school teachers multiply, it’s a relief when the trivia screen comes up. When the feeds return an hour later, we learn it was worth the wait: there has been a luxury competition! Rumor has it that it had a laundry theme, and the houseguests were in a state of undress relying on bubbles to keep them modest. From what the hamsters say as the day goes on, they were really naked and pretty much hanging out in each other’s faces.
We don’t get to see the competition, but we get to see the reward. The men are lined up in chairs by the memory wall, wearing matching brown bathrobes and looking like they have just come out of a communal shower. White bathrobes are a clean, fresh site, but brown bathrobes make them look like leering monks. They’re cheering on the ladies of the house, who are given three minutes to rush into the dining area and comb several racks of clothing for items to keep. Apparently, they must actually wear the items to keep them, and the men shout tips to the girls, getting frustrated when they will insist on taking items off of hangers instead of just ramming their heads down the racks in a line and scooping up all the spaghetti straps with their neck. If I were them, I would have been yelling at them to pick up a few sympathy pieces, as there were racks of men’s clothing as well. Not one woman grabs anything for the menfolk.
But no worries, the men seem pretty happy to see all the girly-girls getting lots of pretty stuff. Jameka squeals out devotion to worldly goods, saying, “I want it! I want it! I want it!” over and over. Amber shouts at Daniele to come get a cute top or jacket, “It’s an extra small!” Jameka points out a jacket to Amber (wasn’t she borrowing one from Jen last week?). All the while the men are shouting at them about pieces of clothing they should be aiming for, or how to scoop them all up, or something. Seriously, guys, this isn’t rocket science. Jameka switches to, “Ooh, ooh, I want you! I want you!” Somewhere on the internet someone is sampling that for a ringtone right now.
The buzzer rings, and the houseguests fade into groups to natter about the girls’ booty. “I’m so glad Jen wasn’t here to enjoy it,” emotes Dick. The giddiness can’t last, of course. Daniele tells her father in her pained voice that she could hear him yelling at her but didn’t know what he was saying, and that it was “just frustrating.” Later that evening, Jessica is heard complaining to Jameka and Daniele that Amber was trying to trade her for a dress Jessica got that Amber really liked, even though Jessica laughs at the thought of it fitting her. Daniele says that Amber tried to pass off some crap to trade with her, too.
Thanks LOADS, Big Brother!
Nominations are looming, so Jessica is asking for advice from her go-to guy, Eric. She wants Amber off her back about the dress, but it irks her that Amber will only give away clothes that don’t fit her – except that she will give clothes to Jameka because she likes her. In the Big Brother house, these little decisions will come back to haunt you, which Amber will learn soon. Eric urges Jessica to go with what she was thinking the night before – namely, to nominate Amber and Zach.
Eric gets sidetracked, reminiscing about Zach in the competition. He says that the instant the bell rang for it to start, Zach was naked. Jessica laughs and shares that the girls tried to their tops on, but eventually had to pull a full-frontal if they wanted to win. (What the heck was this competition?) Jessica reports that Amber’s boobs are smaller than she expected, and that none of the women are sporting a natural look – you know, down there. Eric plays it off that he was trying not to check out the other guys’ packages but admits he saw it all. And let’s just say that he hasn’t lost any confidence, so he must be feeling pretty cocky. *rimshot* Jessica says she felt wild and free being bare-ass naked in the back yard. It sounds like the competition involved word puzzles, and that Amber didn’t want to participate at first.
Even though Eric asked Jessica what her decision will be, he ends up just laying out what he thinks while she nods along. Eric thinks Zach and Amber are the best choice because if they go after Dick and Daniele, there would be so much explaining to have to do, and realistically, they would end up on the block in a week. By nominating Zach they can cut a deal if they want to keep themselves off the block if he wins HOH – but after Tuesday, not before. As an added plus, the two most annoying people in the house won’t want to talk to her all week, Eric tells Jessica. She jokes that she should just use that in her nomination speech. In fact, she should just say, “Look, you guys both drive me insane and I’m just really tired of talking to you.”
Speaking of Zach, he comes up to make his case to Eric and Jessica. When Zach talks game, you get the feeling that he thinks he’s damn awesome at playing Big Brother, and that he intrigues without letting any vital information slip. To the outside observer, Zach seems to be alternately boring and amusing his fellow houseguests. Everything he says is so couched in vague, mysterious terms that it’s hard to not to laugh.
Zach’s big pitch to Jessica is typical Zach fare. He drones on about his actions in the house proving his trustworthiness, but also hints darkly about making bold moves by putting up strong players that win competitions. Eric asks him point blank if Dick and Daniele aren’t his closest allies, and isn’t he campaigning to have them put up? Zach won’t commit, saying that he’s building friends in the house, the father-daughter team are threats, and that he is theirs if Jessica and Eric want him. He can stand up to Evel Dick; Dick gets scared of him and walks away. (Say, what?) He will side with anyone that will get him farther in the game. He will throw the POV competition, whatever they want. Take him. Take him!
Zach: I have what I have with everyone, to be honest. I don't pick who I should side with or who I shouldn't. It's really about self-centeredness and all about myself. It's all about me in this house.
Zach needs to come with a Zach-to-Earth translator. I’m starting to think he had more in common with Jen than I realized. They both were quite happy in their own little worlds.
At one point, Zach was lecturing Jessica about people who are dead weight in the house, who can’t win competitions. Which pretty much describes himself…and Eric, who is sitting right there and getting visibly annoyed. Then he switches back to advising her to cut out the threats in the house. As a pitch for safety, it falls flat simply because it doesn’t make much sense. Zach must have co-workers who are pointing at their computer screens and screeching to their significant others, “See? Didn’t I tell you about this guy at my work?” Jessica eventually tells them she’s leaving to go make a sandwich. That’s pretty much the smartest game move she could make. How soon can she piss him off officially so that he will avoid her?
Downstairs, Daniele has been nervousing about Zach up there with the week’s power couple, but Dick assures her that Jessica won’t make that kind of move at this point. Amber is still trying on clothes while the cameraman has fun zooming in on a bit of a muffin top. The weeks of being under the scrutiny of the internet have taken their toll on Amber, because apparently modesty is too much of a bother to fool with. She strips down to change, while anonymous internet screencappers click away with glee.
Daniele goes up to the HOH to talk to Eric and Jess about Zach’s big pitch. They all agree that Zach is obviously telling every HOH the same thing, and changing his tune to fit his audience, although doing a pretty crappy job of it. Daniele is amazed that he called out Jessica for being a threat and insinuated that Eric is dead weight and a useless player. Eric says that he wants them to go after strong players so that he can skate by for another two weeks. I mean, duh. Daniele proclaims him an “idiot.” Jessica says that she should go for Joe’s nomination strategy: nominate the two that are the least physically attractive. Daniele comments that Amber is constantly complimenting herself, and she’s so sick of it.
Zach is going to be shocked, they all agree. He thinks he’s running the game from behind the scenes.
Jameka joins the HOH group and the talk turns to food, clothes, with a few comments about how annoying Zach is for variety. Right after one of those, they realize Zach is at the HOH door. With Zach doing his usual interrupting Zach routine, the conversation remains strictly at the superficial level for the rest of the afternoon. Everyone’s feeling great, having had a competition where no one suffered, plenty of food, and no nominations yet. Good times.
Big Brother apparently told Jessica not to wear any new clothes to the nomination ceremony; will they be saving the luxury competition footage for later in the week? No matter, soon the house is back from the blocked feeds and we learn that Zach and Amber have been nominated.
As Jessica hides upstairs folding her new clothes and commenting to Jameka, Daniele and Eric how awkward it is in the house after nominations, Amber is downstairs with her head in her hands. She’s not actually sobbing, though, so strike one for the new, strong Amber. Zach is taking out his frustrations on the treadmill. Upstairs, Jessica says that Zach acted philosophical about the nomination. He’s “over it.” Amber is depressed and reading Jameka’s Bible, but that’s no more than what anyone expected. She wanders into the kitchen. Dick surprises me by being extra nice to her, asking her if she’s wearing one of the new tops in a gentle, friendly manner. Amber can barely grunt in reply and walks off to the bathroom before she can be suckered into a conversation with someone.
Dick is cooking dinner, and Eric has a specific food order that he asks Daniele to check on (America’s Player is allergic to mushrooms), so she goes down to where he’s puttering around in the kitchen. Daniele is being mildly bratty with dear old dad tonight, whining that he wants her to chop garlic, being testy when he’s telling her something about cooking pasta. She just seems irritable and anything Dick says, she counters. She does set the table, though, while Dick prepares a pasta concoction involving mushroom soup and garlic. (Sorry, Eric.) But he had thrown a plain steak on the grill outside for the non-mushroom eater.
Daniele: (joking) Maybe Jen was right. Without her here, maybe this house is nothing! (pause) I do not miss her.
Dick: Oh, God. I think I’d miss herpes more.
Daniele helps her dad in the kitchen.
By 9:00, the house is gathered around the table eating dinner, except for Amber, who is still in the midst of her funk in her room. Besides a break a little earlier to read the Bible with Jameka, she hasn’t been interacting with the rest of the house since the nominations. One irritating thing about Amber is that she reads aloud from the footnotes about the scriptures rather than the scriptures themselves. I’m guessing they are not public domain, because every time she gets going Big Brother blocks the feeds. She waits until after everyone has eaten, then comes out to make herself a plate of pasta to eat by herself. By evening, she is sitting in the back yard by herself, eating chocolate and drinking wine. She even chuckles to herself at times. Inside the house, the rest of the hamsters play beer pong.
Throughout the afternoon and evening, there is a fair amount of Jen-bashing. Several times the hamsters talked about crew members today, resulting in blocked feeds – maybe because they had to appear naked in front of the crew today? Eric talks a lot about how he’s never played POV, and that he really doesn’t want to host this one, he wants to play. He may be stinging a little bit from Zach labeling him as dead weight in the game earlier. Everyone agrees that it’s outrageous that the clothes washer has been out of service for three days.
The night grows late, and Zach shows once again that he has no idea what is going on in the game. Talking with Jessica, he is clearly convinced that he is on the block as a pawn and that her real target is Dick or Daniele – either that, or he thinks that if he pretends that he thinks he is a pawn, Jessica will follow lead. Did you get that? Me neither.
Zach tells her that he feels that he’s her friend, and he doesn’t think she would have a side deal with “those two” – and while he’s at it, he’ll vote for whoever she puts up as his replacement. He admits to being a little irritated that he had to talk to her in front of Eric before. Jessica makes a lot of non-committal noises through all of this, but I honestly can’t tell how Zach is taking it. He has an air of confidence about him that doesn’t match up with what he’s saying. He asks if he has a shot if it comes down to a tie, but manages to make it sound like he expects the answer to be “yes.”
Jameka listens to Carrie Underwood up in the HOH room, and she’s overcome by the lyrics. She has fallen to her knees on the floor and is praying when Jessica walks in. But rather than be an awkward moment, they end up sharing how much they both enjoy church. Jameka had never listened to the words of whatever song Carrie was belting out; the only one I know is that “Jesus, Take the Wheel” song that I always put a mental “already” at the end as if a trucker with a beer gut wants to put his grubby college-student hitchhiker to work for a change. You know, Jesus, take the wheel already! I know, lame, but true.
American Idol claims another victim.
Overall, the house is calm and boring with everyone getting along. That pretty much sums up about twelve hours of house time.
The only mildly interesting portion of the night
In the still of the night, the cameras stay on Jessica and Eric in the HOH room. They talk game and flirt, then they’re acknowledging how much they’re flirting, and the conversation turns serious. Now, keep in mind that it’s about 5:45 in the morning and it goes on for over an hour, and that Eric’s fumbling manner of speech turns my brain to mush. But something Amber said after Jessica won HOH has been percolating in her brain. Amber had told Jessica that Jen left her with a message to pass along – that Jen told her that “she knows that Jessica really doesn’t like cheats” (which does sound like Jen’s phrasing, I must admit) and that she should know that Eric has a girlfriend. Jessica didn’t seem too phased at the time.
But now, in private with Eric, she not quite so cool about it. She tells Eric that she knows that Amber and Jen were trying to put Eric on the spot, that Jen was giving him a “big F-U present on her way out.” Jessica makes Eric state explicitly what he heard Jen said so they are on the same page, and he repeats it – that he is a cheat and has a serious girlfriend that Jessica doesn’t know about. Jessica says she knows not to trust Jen, but the timing was weird and it makes her uncomfortable to hear it from Jen and Amber, not from Eric. The she clarifies -- it makes her uncomfortable that it was more than Eric has shared, but she understands, too. If he does have a serious girlfriend, then “whatever; that’s not Jen, it’s your life, and you’ve chosen what to share with me – and we haven’t done anything.”
Jessica says that she didn’t give Amber a reaction, but Amber was waiting for one. She had just won HOH; she didn’t want to deal with that stuff. Jessica makes a lot of noise about not having promised each other anything, and that it’s okay if he has a situation, and that she hasn’t talked about anyone in her past with him, either. The mood is tense and awkward.
Eric is stilted but he explains that he has to be cautious because the ex-girlfriend didn’t sign any papers and doesn’t want her life out on the internet. But he says that he takes cheating seriously and he would never do that, ever. He’s really pissed off that Jen the “psychotic bitch” would insinuate he is cheating. He wants to tell Jessica about this person in his life, but he also feels like he’s been open from when he first walked in the house. Jessica stops him and says that he was NOT honest about his personal life when he walked in, something about his profession that I didn’t catch.
Eric seems to realize that Jessica is more disturbed by this than he had realized. “If I had a serious girlfriend, why in the world would I lie and say I didn’t, then come in here and do something to screw that relationship?” Jessica agrees that has to be true. Eric says that he never expected to have anything but the game on his mind, but leaves it unsaid that he has something other than the game on his mind. The awkwardness multiplies the more they talk.
The story comes out slowly. He has an on-again, off-again girl in his life. “Something transpired” that he tries to talk around, but before the feeds are blocked we can deduce that she got together with an old boyfriend and cheated on him. They broke up, and he was devastated by the situation. When the feeds return, he’s saying that they actually still talk, and they discussed what would happen in the Big Brother house, and that they agreed that they are both free to do whatever they want. “She is certainly my EX-girlfriend. We have no title. But I said it existed as a ‘situation.’”
Jessica is pursing her lips a lot and looking tired, but she lets Eric finish his thoughts (he is continuing to fumble with his words). He didn’t expect to have feelings for someone, but he does. “Aww,” jokes Jessica. “Jen!” But then she smiles genuinely and tells him that it’s really cute. He is embarrassed, but she tells him it’s nice and not to feel embarrassed. The mood lightens a lot after this, because before Jessica was mostly listening and not giving many cues as to how she was taking it.
Jessica says that from her point of view, she was afraid of developing feelings for someone in the house – it was what she was worried about the most going in. She did not want to become a Season 7 Erika, led around by a showmance. Nevertheless, she does have feelings for him. Aww!
Jessica says that if they had met outside the house and he had told her about this ex situation, she wouldn’t touch him with a ten-foot pole. But since she knows him from the house first, she was expecting the story to be something like that, and doesn’t feel like it’s any of her business. She trusts him to share what she needs to know, no more.
Eric tells her that it’s the 100% truth and there’s nothing covered up. He says that he may have had some shady moments in the game, but with this, he hasn’t hidden anything. He’s not cheating on someone at home, he’s not doing anything inappropriate.
They switch over to game talk and don’t get to bed until 7:00 a.m. Never mind that there’s a POV ceremony to get ready for the next day. They both hope they can get some prizes out of this one – if Eric plays, that is. Look, I only said it was mildly interesting, okay?
Big Brother starts the wake-up cycle at about 10:00 a.m. (For Jessica and Eric, ouch!) No one seems to have a problem getting up, not even the late nightsters in the HOH. Amber comments to Jameka that the wake up songs all had a cat connection – “Cat Scratch Fever,” something by the Pussycat Dolls.
The feeds are blocked for a short while, and when they come back we learn that everyone will be playing in the POV competition except for Dick. Eric will finally get his paws on a POV competition! They have heard there will be no costumes, but everyone agrees there will be a cat theme of some kind. As of noon, the competition hasn’t started.
Okay, technically this recap ends at noon but I think no one would mind a little spoiler. At about 2:00, the feeds came back and Eric had won the Golden Power of Veto. Golden, I tell you!