This recap covers noon Sunday to noon Monday, house time.
I would like to start off this recap by stating that Eric has a girlfriend in real life. Kind of. Still though- I never, ever would have guessed with the way he carries on with Jessica. I guess that if he has a kind of girlfriend out in the world, she isnít going to be any kind of girlfriend to him once this thing is over. Not after all the planning for their first kiss, and talk about how theyíre going to get married, and theyíll love in LA and have lots of tiny children with irritating voices.
Would you marry this man?
Moving onÖ as it stands on Sunday afternoon, Daniele is HOH, Jameka and Amber are on the block, Zach is irritating everyone, and Jen has possibly gained 30 pounds while in the house, and has lost the definition in her stomach. That statement is just a little example of how Zach is irritating peopleÖ well, heís irritating me. Itís not as though heís a prize, and I hope he doesnít think that I enjoyed his naked parade for even one moment, so I really donít need to hear him talk about how one of the women has let herself go, and isnít as toned as she used to be. He also talks about how his ex-girlfriend would be impressed if she saw him now because heís lost 30 pounds since they broke up. He refers to just one ex-girlfriend, which leads me to believe that thereís only been one. And possibly sheís imaginary.
Did she drop an olive down there?
Amber is nervous about being on the block, because she really needs to win the big money because sheís a single mom with a daughter to support. I donít know how she thinks that there is one viewer left out there who does not know that sheís a mother, but she feels the need to talk about it again. She wants Dani to use the POV, so she makes a deal with her, (after explicitly telling Eric that she would never make a deal with Daniele), that she wonít put Dani up next week, if Dani uses the POV and chooses a replacement nominee this week. Amber is so passionate about this arrangement that she swears on her daughterís life that she will not put Dani up next week, or even two or three weeks down the road, and she will vote the way Dani wants her to vote. She also swears on her daughterís life that any time Dustin said mean things about Daniele, she would tell him to stop. I really hope Amberís daughter is not allowed to watch Big Brother, because she would probably be sad about the fact that her mother is an idiot.
The gang gets ordered outside for lockdown, and Dani is very excited because she thinks that means the production crew is setting up a birthday party for her. While outside, Dani reveals that if she was not in the BB House, she would be in Disneyworld with her boyfriend right now. The conversation turns to Owen Wilson, and past BB Houseguests, and then about how excited Joe must be that America thinks he was the better boyfriend, (by 3%, but still better!).
She's happy now...
BB opens the doors, and indeed there is a party set up for Danieleís 21st birthday, complete with cupcakes and party hats. Those on slop can have all the hats they want, but theyíre not allowed to partake of the gourmet cupcakes. Dani receives a letter from her friends Lindsey and Paul, with a picture of Lindseyís baby, but doesnít seem to receive anything from her boyfriend Kris. HmmmÖ I guess he has the live feeds. Dick almost lets the truth about Daniís age out of the bag, but luckily the other HGs were too dense to pick up on it. The party is not all that happening, so Dani packs up her presents and heads to the HOH room so that she can pout by herself. Dick follows her and tries to ask her questions but she is very short with him and only gives one word answers. I guess a girl is allowed to be a total brat on her birthday.
... but not so much here.
Dick asks Dani if she wants to go out to the hammock, and she ignores him. He asks her if thereís anything he can do to make her feel better and she ignores him. He asks if thereís anything special she wants to do because itís her birthday, and she very snottily replies that it wonít be her birthday for another 2 Ĺ hours. Tired of being the only person Dani is being bitchy to, Dick asks Jessica to talk to Dani because apparently in the DR Dani was asked what it means not to get a birthday gift from her long term boyfriend, and the question has Dani upset. Understandably. I guess maybe she needs to think about how her kissing Nick probably has her boyfriend upset, and that might make her feel better.
Eric joins Dani in the HOH room, because he thinks he has a feeling he knows why sheís not celebrating as much as she should be. He reveals the stuff about his kind of girlfriend, and they bond over how hard it is not knowing whatís going on in the outside world.
Speaking of heavy stuffÖ Amber is sitting in the back yard praying about being nominated and thanking God for making her the person that she is and how she loves the person inside her. Eric interrupts her prayer by yelling at her that theyíre getting ready to play Quarters, and Amber tells him that sheís praying, but that sheíll be there in a moment. Amber tells God ďIím gonna go now,Ē and Iím glad to see her priorities are in order.
"... and thank you for my boobs."
Enough with all that depressing real world talk, itís time for the HGs to get good and drunk, and hopefully say some interesting things. The game of Quarters morphs into a weird version of spin the bottle that doesnít involve any kissing. The HGs yell out a question, spin the beer can and whoever the can points at is the answer to that question.
A sampling of the questions and answers:
-Who wants to have a romantic night with Dustin Ė Jen
-Who is America's most hated - Dick
-Who was responsible for the mustard incident - Jameka
-Who trashed everyoneís rooms on the first night - Jameka
-Who canít stand the people in this house - Zach
-Who has impregnated Jen - Jen
-Who is secretly gay - Jen
-Who is going to date Dick after they get out - Zach
-Who will be the winner of BB8 - Daniele
-Who is a liar about where theyíre from - Jessica
-Who is the biggest liar - Jessica
-Who will gain the most weight in the house - Jessica
-Who really wanted Jen gone week 1 - Zach
-Who is the prettiest - Jessica
-Who was the mystery vote the second time - Jameka
-Who has the worst time outside of the house - Zach
-Who is most likely to make something of him/herself after the show - Eric
-Who would be a secret stripper - Jameka
-Who takes the least amount of showers - Jessica
-Whoís going to waste the most money if they win - Amber
-Who wears granny panties - Daniele
One that I canít include here, but thought was pretty funny involved Dick, Joe and a hand, and thatís really all I can say.
Everyone has a grand old time at the party and a lot of alcohol is consumed, so naturally Eric decides to parade around in Jenís bikini bottoms, and Zach puts on her unitard. Eric keeps shouting about his ďlegitimate ballsĒ and I donít know what that means.
Jen and Jessica come up with an incredible idea to paint Eric, and it starts out innocently enough with things like ďI Love ZachĒ painted on his chest, but soon accelerates into all sorts of things about his sexual preferences and stuff about evicted HGs. Everyone gets in on the action, and when Zach discovers what is going on, he gets so excited he ďaccidentallyĒ grabs Ericís package.
Well gosh, who doesn't?"
After Eric washes away the paint, (with Jenís help), he joins Jessica in her bed and presents her with his Woobie. Iím not being dirty- thatís a toy. He gives her a long explanation about how he has had it forever, and it will make her brave and blah, blah, blah. Would you too just make out already for peteís sake? They cuddle for a while and talk quietly, and then Eric is off to his own bed.
"You want me to do what with that Woobie??"
The next morning, the production crew wakes the Hamsters up pretty early, and they head into the POV Ceremony soon after they all get up. When they exit the POV Ceremony, Amber is happy, but Jen is pissed and swears that she will not vote for either Dick or Daniele to win this thing. Dick tells her not to be a bitter bitch and to focus on saving herself instead. I think Jen can be do both.
Finally, I am going to end with some questions I have from watching the past 24 hours of live feeds:
ē What is the difference between ďlegitimate ballsĒ and illegitimate balls?
ē Do you think Dick could really use his penis as a paintbrush?
ē Does Zach really think that women donít know that men check out their bodies?
ē Was Joe really a better boyfriend than Dustin?
ē Why is Zach obsessed with Pirate Master?
ē Why is Jameka wearing this bag-thing on her head?
If you have the answers to any of these questions, shoot me a PM here to set my mind at ease.