This recap covers Wednesday noon to Thursday noon, house time.
A week has passed since Amber’s colossal smackdown on America’s Player. So at the start of my shift, I wondered if there would be any excitement or if we were in for a usual humdrum day in the life of a hamster. I didn’t have to wonder for long because I turned on my feeds to find a little person sitting on the couch in the living room. He’s dressed as the Mad Hatter and sits in silence looking around. Around his neck is a huge clock and in his hat are playing cards. Are they significant? Probably not. Zach is the first one up. When he walks in, the Mad Hatter begins to recite various quotes.
- "What a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive."
- "There is no little enemy."
- "Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead."
- "A snitch in time saves nine."
- “Fish and visitors stink after three days.”
The others quickly awake to their little visitor who proceeds to run and dance around the house. The fascinated hamsters follow him. He dances in the kitchen, hangs out in the bathroom, runs around upstairs, hides behind the couch, lifts weights, and points to pictures on the memory wall. They ask him questions but obviously, he can’t say anything other than the same quotes he’s been repeating. Jessica says, "Give him a big fat kiss" and Jameka tells her “He might karate chop you." The little guy karate chops the air. I wish he’d karate chop that dumbstruck look from Amber’s face.
BB announces “Houseguests, it's 12:36 and 47 seconds.” Finally, they all go into the backyard and it’s a real live freak show. There’s a pirate on stilts and a barber shop quartet. What’s next? Lobster Girl or the World’s Hairiest Woman? I fully expect to see fire eaters or tight rope walkers at any minute. Alas, my hopes are dashed as the quartet sings a song that I think is called “Ivory Rag.” Then the pirate on stilts says "It is not enough to succeed, others must fail. And after all, what is the truth but a lie in masquerade. Always drink upstream from the herd." Afterwards, the quartet begins to sing, “I’m Just Wild About Harry.” Skippy gives us trivia for the rest of the performance. Figures! Feeds return as the hamsters enter the house and our afternoon freak show continues. A cage is on the table holding three white bunnies. They’re wearing cards around their necks, the ace of hearts, 5 of diamonds, and 9 of clubs. There is a sign reading, “Friends Welcome” on the cage and a bouquet of six veto symbols inside. Our observant hamsters notice a white statue and then realize it’s an actual person. The “statue” strikes several poses. He draws back an imaginary bow as if to shoot an imaginary arrow, he puts a finger to his lips as if to shush us, looks angry, becomes Rodin’s The Thinker, and looks scared or surprised. Again, is any of this significant? Again, probably not. Our brilliant hamsters spend the rest of the night in complete wild speculation about what these clues mean.
When the afternoon freak show ends, our hamsters get back to their regularly scheduled activities…lounging around and talking in circles. Dick and Dani are discussing the clues. Well, actually Dick is throwing out ideas and Dani is sulking. She’s angry over the way he talks to her and what he says. I find him very calm and quiet for a change so I’m not sure what she’s talking about. Dick tries to get her to eat some slop. She apparently can’t stomach the slop so she hasn’t been eating at all. I’m sure the slop is crappy but suck it up, Dani. It’s part of the game. Dick wishes he would’ve given her the slop pass instead of Jen. I don’t know if that would make much difference with Dani though. Even when she’s eating, she’s a snotty little brat! They talk again later and it’s more of the same. She walks away because she “just can’t do this right now.” Dick calls her a “f***ing little snot” and mimics her whining. Score one for the adoring father.
Dick tries to make a deal with Eric to save himself. He tells him there is a plan next week to get him out and unless he wins the POV, he will be joining Dick in sequester. Eric tries to get more information out of Dick but he won’t elaborate on the alleged plan. Eric says that if they do make a deal, Jess will be included because he plans to take her to the end. Dick agrees and says it’s the same thing with him and Dani. He says that together, the four of them could rock the house. Eric thinks the problem will be with Amber since Jameka can’t compete for four more HOHs. As part of the deal, if he takes it, he wants guarantees from Zach and Jen that he and Jess will be safe next week. They go on to bash Jen and say that she’s a liar and needs to be the next one to go. They bash Dustin, they bash Zach. Dick tells Eric that he’ll do whatever Eric wants to assure him that he’ll honor the deal. He’ll swear on Amber’s daughter’s life or her dog’s because she loves them the same. *snort* Dustin comes out, interrupts them, and asks what they’re talking about.
Other (Un)Important Facts
- Eric messes with Zach by telling him that he saw Sanskrit on the little Mad Hatter‘s shoe. Zach says he did see it and thought he was the only one. He tells Eric that Jess probably knows what it means because her dad speaks five languages. Later in the HOH, Eric tells him he was right about Jess reading it. He tells him it said, “People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones." Zach proudly says they should all listen to him more because he is not an idiot! Little does he know!
- Amber and Zach had a date. Zach made dinner and bored her with his career plans and game talk that goes right over her head. I took a nap.
- Jameka gets suspicious and starts to think the votes are shifting. She thinks they made a mistake putting up one of their own and Dustin starts to get nervous.
- Dustin is still missing his blue sleeveless shirt and asks Dick if he threw it somewhere. Dick swears that all he has are the tattoo sleeves and will give them back when he leaves the house.
- Amber thinks Zach should go on The Bachelor.
- Jameka ate some chocolate cake that’s had her running to the bathroom most of the day.
- Jen and Eric have fun hiding things all over the house just to mess with everyone’s heads.
- Jess gets her HOH camera and Eric poses in “booty shorts.”
So how’s the vote going down? Is that all you really want to know? Well, Dick pitched his idea to Jess. Basically, he repeats himself a dozen or so times and we heard it all when he talked to Eric. Dick goes down to Dani and tells her Jess is waiting to discuss the deal with her. She sits there with a scowl on her face for a few minutes
and I want to reach into the house and smack herand finally gets her ass moving. She and Jess talk about the deal. It’s pretty much a repeat of the other conversations. Just throw in “like, totally, I’m sooo tired of it, and blah, blah, blah” a few times and you’ve got it.
Eric joins Jess when Dani leaves and I think this is where he’s going to convince her to switch the vote. Wrong! He says he wants her HOH to be a success and it’s her decision. Basically, they don’t trust the Donatos and at this point, it sounds like Dick is a goner. Still with me? Okay, good. Next Eric has a long talk with Dani and they discuss the rules. If they make the deal, they must agree to be final four. If one of them is on block, they have the other three votes to stay. If both are on block, then Dick can vote for Dani and Eric can vote for Jess. Later on, Eric and Jess talk about it again and this time America’s Player does his job. He campaigns hard and makes several valid points about why Dustin should go. Jessica agrees. They decide to let Jen in on the plan but not until the last minute in case she tells the others.
So…..the vote? Still waiting? After all the back and forth and this meeting and that, it looks like Evel Dick has been granted a reprieve. Jess and Eric go into the backyard and give Dick and Dani a nod to signify that the deal is official. Dustin will be stabbed in the back by members of his own alliance. Game on!
Have you ever been to a freak show? Send your pictures by PM.