This recap covers events from noon Tuesday until noon Wednesday, BB time
As another exciting Tuesday in the BB house begins, Jen and Dustin are in the kitchen. Dick and Zach are talking in the backyard. They are discussing Jen. They say she knows a lot more about the game than she says. Zach says Jen hangs out with 2 guys from All Stars. *ring ring* Hey, anyone know who that might be? Zach says Jen went to the Bahamas with Lonnie who is a partner of Boogie. He thinks she has some insider knowledge. BB doesn’t like this kind of conspiracy theory talk and we get vortex.
Hey Zach, the 80’s called, they want their outfit back.
Jen and Dustin come out to the backyard and ask Dick about the wakeup songs. Apparently the wakeup playlist included: Bon Jovi, Guns and Roses, Eminem, Billy Idol, and
Amber’sJane’s Addiction. The talk then goes from music to moths. That’s a sensible transition, right? They talk about the huge moth they found in the house. Dick tells BB they need more chlorine in the pool. The houseguests erupt in laughter and the camera pans over to Eric’s naked butt. Does anyone have a sharp object I can use to poke my eyes out? It looks like the camera panned to Eric just in time for the lucky feed watchers to miss his streaking debut. Dick screams about Eric’s morning wood. Eric says he didn’t want to hear about it for the rest of the day so he had to do it. Dick says if Zach and Eric have a “sword” fight, Zach would lose. Dick says it’s like a fight between a sword and a needle. For a second, I get a mental picture and it’s not pretty. Dick says that Jameka and Jessica are going to be pissed that they missed it. More talk about the way Eric’s little (or the way they are talking, not so little) tool was bouncing around when he was running. Talk about packages: just another day in the BB house!
It is my goal to put a Dustin nose picking picture in every single one of my recaps.
We go inside the house where Jameka and Jessica are mad at Eric for streaking without them being there. Jessica calls him a rat and says she isn’t going to talk to him for the rest of the day. If you ask me, they are the lucky ones. Jameka says she is going to ignore him too. Mmm hmmm. I can tell the whole day is going to involve talk about Eric’s little show. Hooray for me. Dustin goes up to the HoH bathroom with the girls and goes on to describe Eric’s tool. Dustin uses the straightening iron to compare sizes. He thinks Eric is pretty well endowed for such a little man. Dustin thinks Eric’s junk would be a lot to work with. I will stop now, as this is a PG-13 kind of site, and I’m a PG-13 kind of girl.
Some of the hamsters decide that since they just woke up, it would be a splendid idea to go take a nap. Zach and Dick decide to play water pong. Dick says he is good at beer (or in this case, water) pong because he spent so much time at the carnival when he was younger. I could picture him as a creepy carnie worker who tries to get people to ring a soda bottle for 5 bucks. Dick’s pong record is 5-1.
Daniele’s constant whining has caused Dick to poke his eardrums out
Dustin and Eric watch the Dick and Zach water pong game. Even in my highly medicated Dayquil state, I’m pretty sure that Dick is being nice to everyone. Dick laughs and talks to both Dustin and Eric like they are the best of friends. Guess what they are all still talking about? If you said Eric’s tool, you get the gold star! Dick wins another game and Zach wants to play him double or nothing. I’m actually pretty entertained because Dick really is good at beer pong. Dick is giddy at how badly he is whooping Zach. He wins again. Maybe beer pong will be Zach’s new hobby when he goes home. Anything is probably better than a 30 year old man who still plays that “Magic: The Gathering” card game.
Jameka, Jess, Eric, and Dustin chatter at the kitchen table about Kail. Eric says she ran triathlons and Jessica says she was a double business owner. Silly Jessica. She’s a MULTI-business owner. You hear me, MULTI!
Some time passes and we find Dustin, Jessica, and Eric in the HoH bathroom. Eric is tweezing his eyebrows. Jessica is getting ready for a “date” with Zach. Dustin and Eric tease Jessica about her date. She thinks maybe she will wear a skirt and Eric says he is concerned for her health around Zach. Ringworm anyone?
There’s nothing sexier than a gay man who has eyelashes for days!
Dustin tells them that Dick is going around the house trying to collect votes and they need to ignore him. Eric says he’s the last person that could be influenced by Dick. Dustin is giving pointers on how to nicely pluck and shape eyebrows. He begins plucking Eric’s eyebrows. At least when we have to see Eric’s crazy eyebrow in the DR, it will be nicely sculpted. They talk about how Dustin put undereye concealer on Eric to hide his dark circles. Dustin borrows Jessica’s concealer and uses some of it. Hey, I’m all for man makeup, but please use your own.
They talk about Dick and how he thinks he has Jen, Zach, and Daniele’s votes. Dustin thinks Dick is crazy if he thinks Jen will vote to keep him after all of his big bad bullying. Dustin asks Eric if he is for sure voting for Dustin to stay. Eric acts insulted and says of course, it would be his pleasure to evict Dick and he will sing a song while doing it. What song would that be, Eric? I’m a lying weasel-like toolbag with a crazy eyebrow who does nothing America wants me to because I’m such a squirrely moron? Dustin isn’t worried, but he thinks it’s funny how at first Dick accepted he was going but now he’s campaigning. Eric says he won’t believe anything the bad kids are saying because they campaigned against him last week just like they are against Dustin. Dustin says that Dick and Daniele are the strongest alliance in the house and they need to be broken up.
I go from the princess party in the bathroom to the pity party in the bedroom. I bet you can’t guess who is whining (it’s soooo frustrating!!). Daniele is once again talking about how everyone in the house is so fake and she doesn’t like any of them. The BB voice calls Jameka to the DR and Daniele whines that it’s sooo loud! Dick tells Daniele that he wants to take her to Disneyland after the show and she whines that she never said she would go with him. I guess she
is super annoyingisn’t feeling very well.
Amber, Dustin, and Eric are out on the hammock discussing where Zach and Jen stand as far as the votes. They aren’t sure if Zach and Jen are with them, alone, with Dick and Daniele, or not really that with it at all. Eric thinks if Daniele gets HoH next week, she’ll go after Jen and Zach rather than the Nerd Herd v. 2.0. Someone buy this guy a clue! Jameka comes out and tells everyone that they are recording goodbye messages and Eric thinks it is a bit early for that.
Ok ok! It was me who farted.
Dustin, Eric, Jen, and Jessica head up to the HoH bathroom. Dustin begins cutting Eric’s hair. Bye bye sharkfin! Jessica wants Eric to get a “J” shaved out of his head. He asks if it would stand for Jew. Jessica says it would stand for Joe, Jessica, Jen, or Jameka. Dick and Daniele are in the backyard laying around on the sofa. They make fun of Amber a little bit. Like that’s hard. Dick says that Zach is an idiot and will f*** up Daniele’s game.
The camera switches to the kitchen where we find Amber, Jen, and Zach. Zach is getting everything ready for his big date with Jessica. He thinks he will pour some beer into champagne glasses. How romantic! Jen is helping the creepy crooner by setting out the beer and helping him cook in the kitchen. Zach runs into the backyard to tell Dick and Daniele that Operation WFA is now on. He says it’s the Wooing Factor Alliance. Zach and his damn alliances! I have an alliance for you Zach. It’s called the YASS (You Are Super Skeevy) alliance. Daniele laughs and says Zach thinks he has more game than he actually has. Daniele tells him it would be wise to put on a shirt. Zach says that he has his chastity belt on tonight. Yeah, like you are going to get anywhere with Jessica. Keep dreaming, bunny boy.
Date time rolls around and there is a lovely setup of cushions and a little table in the backyard. Jessica and Zach are both spiffed up for the occasion. On tonight’s menu we have groveling, creepiness, and incessant rambling. Zach uses the date to try to sway Jessica into believing that Dustin has to go. He tells her that she would be better going against Dick in the end rather than someone from her own alliance. He keeps telling her it could be a 3-3 tie and she will have to break it. He goes on and on while Jessica looks around for ways to escape. Poor socially awkward Zach. He tells her that he will still vote Dick out if she wants him to. This guy just won’t shut up! Dick finally comes out for a smoke and breaks up the date. Phew. It was starting to get painful.
I thought Beauty and the Geek was a different show?
The hamsters make it another late night, saying that the East Coast viewers probably like them because the hamsters are still up when people are waking up for work. Jameka relaxes out on the hammock and cries/prays. She asks God to forgive the things she has said and done to people in the house. She also asks him to help her do better in future competitions. *insert organ music here* The cameras stay on her for a lengthy period of time. She prays for her fellow houseguests and their families. She prays for Iraq. She thanks Jesus for the blood, the cross, and the passion. She tells God to watch over her family and be with her husband. I have no idea if Jameka really has a husband, but she seems to think she does sometimes. She hopes that God won’t unleash his wrath on Evel Dick. I’m so over it, Jameka.
God, please bless my family. Oh yeah, $500,000 would be nice too!
Jess and Eric are in the HoH bed going through the pros and cons of keeping Dustin. Eric thinks they need to do what is best for them rather than the group, but ultimately he will vote how Jessica wants him to. I wish Jessica knew that Eric is America’s bitch, not her bitch.
As my shift comes to an end, something very strange happens. The houseguests are all still sleeping, but there is a little person running around the house dressed as what appears to be the Mad Hatter. Zach is the first one to discover the visitor and the tiny surprise starts spewing quotes about tangled webs and secrets. Why is this little man in the house? What does all of this jibberish mean? Is it Cappy reincarnated? Be sure to check out lildago’s recap tomorrow for all the details!
A "little" surprise
Thanks to Snapit for the Jameka and date screencaps I stole!