*This is a recap of events from noon Monday to noon Tuesday*
Can you believe we’re at the halfway point already? Because it feels like it's gone on forever and should be almost over. Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part. Usually I'm a little sad at the thought that my fave reality show is halfway over, but not this year. This has got to be the suckiest group of hamsters yet.
Anyhow! By now you know that Dustin the Wonderful has taken one for the team and “volunteered” to go up against Dick, who used his Power O’ Veto to take Daniele off the block. So confident, that Dustin is. Jen got so emotional during the veto meeting over Dick using the veto to save Daniele, she actually cried. She cried, and it wasn’t over a bad picture of herself! There might be hope for Jen yet. Dustin, still a little nervous over being on the block even though he volunteered, schmoozes Jen a bit. Both Jen and Jessica say they’re feeling ill – looks like Eric’s phony “illness” is spreading!
The worst hairstyle in BB history, hands down.
And how these people fall for Eric’s lame-ass story is beyond me. He tells Amber that BB made him quarantine himself for 12 hours because of his “illness.” He skips the details, and she’s too dense to see it for the blatant lie that it is. Either that, or she’s hoping to catch it too so she can have some more disgusting medical stories to tell. Who knows.
Zach tries some clumsy strategy with Jessica and Jameka, saying that Dustin is too arrogant and he doesn’t like it. Hint, hint, vote him out. They blow him off as I’m sure he’s accustomed to, telling him that they’d be confident going up against Dick, too. Zach then abruptly changes subjects, talking about shallow people and how he’s “self-sustaining.” He insinuates that Jen has it easy and she shows off her “assets” too much. Well, if you weren’t hung like a Vienna sausage, Zach, you might have a little something something to show off, too. He’s just Jenelous.
This hurts me just looking at it. Eric, she's got you beat.
Eric then goes to blow smoke up Jessica’s skirt with his phony quarantine story, not wanting her to be mad at him for ignoring her. Oh, but we wanted her to be mad, weasel boy! That was the whole point. Dick concocts a scheme to get rid of Dustin by telling his herdmates that all of Dick’s mouthing off was on purpose. He wanted to piss off the whole house to ensure that he would go instead of Daniele, just in case he couldn’t get her taken off the block. Amber seems to buy it. Jameka…I don’t know. I don’t speak mmmhmmm. She does say it was good to see that side of Dick. The nice one, I mean.
Late afternoon, which means bored hamsters tanning themselves. Zach whines about how hard it is to find a soul mate (is he for real?) while Amber says that she found hers. I thought you had to have a soul, first. Pff. Inside, Eric is still weaseling around Jessica, who has quit pouting over Eric ignoring her earlier. And Eric has miraculously gotten better, it seems. Nobody notices this, and I shake my head in disgust. Eric tries to convince Jessica that it would be in their best interest to take Zach and Jen to final four and dump Amber and Dustin along the way. They both agree that Jameka needs to go at some point, because neither one wants to face her in the final two. Eric then starts to tell Jessica about his recent bowel movements, and I quickly change feeds. Way to win the lady over, you moron.
What do I find? Crap of a different sort. Dick is outside “apologizing” to Dustin. When I say apologize, I mean yell at. Dick tells him that he’s been acting the way he has to save Daniele, he doesn’t care what Dustin thinks of him, and yes, he’ll give back Dustin’s things that he stole. Then Dick says that Dustin had no business calling Danielle a skank when he’s the one who had gonorrhea. Calling women skanks is Dick’s territory, dammit! Dustin denies the VD stuff. Dick stalks off, and Dustin says something about huffing and puffing and the big bad wolf. Dustin sure can talk some junk when the object of said junk has left the room. Wuss.
Amber, can't you leave me alone for five...damn...minutes?!
Dick then apologizes to Eric, and it’s a whole lot nicer than the “apology” he gave Dustin. Dick doesn’t call Eric a douchbag or anything! Eric gives Dick props for the way he saved Daniele, and they both pat each other on the back for various things. Get a room, you two. Eric promises to be decent to Daniele after Dick is gone, and Dick asks Eric why he changed up like he did. Eric gets that spazzy, uncomfortable look he always gets and says that he didn’t flip until the false accusations started flying. He also denies being the stray votes that have people wondering. Lying liar! Eric can’t believe that so many of them fell for the plane banner - it could have been from the president of the Slick Nick Fan Club for all he knows.
Dick: “Right now I am Joe’s hero!”
Dick also gets Jessica in the hammock of hate for some more apologizing, explaining and butt-kissing. He really works her over, talking about how the vote will be 3-3 and Jessica could be the vote that saves him - he insists that he’s not a threat to anyone in the game. Jessica admits being upset before the POV meeting because Jen told her that Dick, Daniele and Dustin had a deal. Dick is incredulous. He says that if Jessica saves him, she’ll burn her bridges on “that side” but will gain undying loyalty from Dick and Daniele. I can’t tell if Jessica is actually thinking about this or contemplating how to fix her hair later on. I just can’t read this girl. Dick also apologizes for accusing her of having store-bought boobs, which she denies.
On a lighter note, afternoon snacks consist of salad and grilled chicken, made by Zach with Jen’s help. He marinated the chicken in Italian dressing, and makes a funny by warning them against “cross dressing” the chicken. Get it? Cross dressing? Yeah, it wasn’t that funny. He tries. He’s socially challenged, but he tries. The non-sloppers chow down, then disappear, leaving Jen and Zach to clean up. Bunch of slobs. The cook shouldn’t have to clean up!
Random stupid things:
- Eric claims to have food poisoning. Dick is immediately blamed, even though Eric is lying.
- Dick did admit to spiking the cranberry juice, however.
- Jameka was sitting outside, burning the ends of her hair off. I don’t know why. BB told her to stop.
- Jessica says she would never get into a romantic relationship on BB. Eric goes off to cry.
- Eric hates vegetables. The feeling is mutual, I’m sure.
- Jen says she almost got a part as a superhero in a movie, but she didn’t want to bleach her hair blonde.
- The houseguests think that all of the CBS.com viewer questions were stupid.
- Amber has had lice. Thought you might want to know.
- Zach has a lowrider motorcycle. He used to have two, but his ex took one when she left.
Notice how nobody cares that Eric's head got stuck in the drain.
It’s almost time for the half-way party! Jessica invites all the girls up (Amber, too) to have a girly-girl party to get ready. They primp, Dustin parades around in his silly robe, and Daniele jumps up and down in front of the DR, squealing for their food to arrive. Everybody’s happy and smiling, and I can’t wait to see the party....hey. Hey! I guess we’re not invited to the party, as Skippy flushes us down the tube for the next hour and a half. Damn copyrighted music.
When the feeds finally return, the hamsters are partied out. Some are laying on the couches outside, and a few are cleaning up in the kitchen. Apparently Eric showed his wenis some time earlier, and can’t understand why the women were so interested, as it looked really small at the time. It’s called boredom, Eric. He thinks the girls are making fun of him, as they rightly should. Daniele, Dick and Zach wander off to poach in the hot tub and talk game. Zach doesn’t see Dick getting a vote from the other side, even though they’re becoming suspicious of Dustin. Dick and Daniele still think their plan is foolproof. Ah, but not with this particular breed of fools.
See, I CAN be fierce! Watch out, ANTM!
Not a whole lot goes on this night. Nothing you really want to hear about, anyway. Some obscene talk of spanking Jen, with Dick telling the others rubber gloves would have to be used and Eric saying he would rather have Dustin spank him because Jen would be a health violation. Hey, maybe we can vote on that one for ya, Eric. There’s lots of poop talk with in-depth discussion of quantity and timing. I half expect one of them to make a flow chart or a PowerPoint presentation. And Amber digs something gross out of Jameka’s foot with tweezers, complete with close-ups. If that’s not enough foulness for the evening, Jen, Jessica, Dick, Zach and Dustin try to cajole Eric into exposing himself so he can back up his claims that it’s not as tiny as it looked earlier. Fortunately for those of us with live feeds, he doesn’t let the mouse out of its house. For this, I am thankful.
Eric, I saw it. It was only this big!
Who needs sleep aids when you have this group? A rousing game of beer pong follows the festivities listed above, with Jessica and Eric playing Daniele and Zach. Jen, Dustin, and Dick watch. They laugh. I’m bored. Happy hamsters make for dull recaps! Dick and Daniele do break off later to discuss getting Eric and Jessica on their side, but Daniele balks as she doesn’t want to make deals with Eric. She wants to keep Zach on their side because she trusts him. Dick tells her that you gotta do what you gotta do to stay in the house.
But wait. Zach has promised Jessica not to vote Dustin out, and when Daniele talks to Zach later, he admits that he doesn’t completely trust her. Ouch. Seems that the only thing that will change Zach’s vote is if Jessica herself comes to him and says that’s what he needs to do. Daniele understands, but she's getting sooo frustrated. Zach may be a dolt on occasion, but he knows a vote to keep Dick will screw him with the other group. Daniele still works on him.
For the first time I’ve seen, Dick is in bed before 3 am. Actually, they all hit the sack by then, having been forced to get up “early” for the veto ceremony that morning. By around 9:30 am, Dick has gotten up to smoke and hack in the backyard. BB wakes the other sleeping beauties up around 10:30, and with nothing to report, that makes it a day for this recap. Oh, and to Skippy the cameraman who insisted on randomly hitting the trivia button about 800 times for no reason during my shift: bite me.
Thanks to Jewelsy, lildago, Snapit and bbnbama for the great screencaps!