This recap covers Sunday noon to Monday noon, house time.
Okay, let’s see... what happened in the BB House over the last 24 hours? A whole lot of nothing, that’s what! It’s just like an episode of Seinfeld… except that no one is even remotely funny or interesting, and I can barely sit through this crap for half an hour at a time.
I don’t even know where to start- how does one write about nothing? I guess I’m about to find out.
It’s noon in the house, and everyone is kind of laying around lazily, doing nothing, (as I think I’ve mentioned), and discussing meaningless stuff. There’s some sunning, some conversation about Amsterdam, (and probably hookers), and then Zach and Dick shock me by bringing out the heavy topics and discussing politics and Chernobyl. Chernobyl? Really? That doesn’t last too long, and then it’s on to a conversation about video games, and then Dick is spent, and goes in the house to wake up his daughter.
Um, Dani? I think they'll give you hair color if you ask.
Over on the other side of the yard, Jen and Dustin chat about how they should work on their abs, especially since they’re on slop, (I’m not sure what one has to do with the other, but you go, girls!). Then they talk about how horrible Dick is, and how his meanness has affected them in the house. Dustin and Jen are both cool with the awful things Dick has said, but they have friends on the outside who will for sure work Dick over when they’re all out of the house. They anticipate he will be hospitalized no less than two times, but I think Johnny Depp will come to his rescue.
So, apparently Zach is in everyone’s good graces again. I guess I can understand how that is, since every other day I change my mind about him. Right now I like him, mostly because he has kept pretty quiet over the last few weeks, and I haven’t seen him cry yet. He and Dick continue to chat in the backyard about what they’re going to do with their stipends. Zach isn’t going to spend it on anything foolish like rent! He’s going to buy a video game system, of course. Their conversation moves on to the other HGs, and Dick says that Jameka told him something about her sexual relationship with her husband that I can’t repeat here, and am not sure I believe because I absolutely cannot see why Jameka would spill something so personal to Dick of all people.
Lookin' good, Zach.
Let’s move on to the kitchen where Dustin is holding court with a story about a dream he had where he was showering with Mike. Don’t get too excited- Mike was wearing shorts, and the dream really didn’t go anywhere. Then he tells a story about how a guy once followed him from club to club, and Dustin confronted him because the guy was following him around, but hadn’t even bought him a drink! Jameka says she would have given him the finger, but I completely understand what Dustin was saying- if someone’s going to stalk you, he’d better at least buy you a drink! It’s only fair.
The next time you tell an erotic story it had better have a happy ending!
Next up is a kind of serious discussion about 9/11. Jameka was in her second year of teaching, and the school she taught in was 7 miles from the Pentagon, and a lot of her students had parents who worked there. Then Eric chimes in and says he was in high school when it happened, and I hate him a little bit. The HGs lighten up a some and share a few school stories. Dustin tells everyone he held the record for most detentions his senior year, and I can’t imagine that had anything to do with his attitude at all.
Amber is sick of being fat, (she said that. I don’t think she’s fat. Over-emotional and crazy, but not fat), so she decides to hit the treadmill with Jen. A lot of vapid conversation follows, and some highlights are: Amber doesn’t like her turtle tattoo and think she should turn it into a 4 leaf clover… and that’s it. Sorry about that. I don’t know why I expected more out of those two.
Okay, yeah- I'm a jerk for slipping this picture in right after talking about Amber complaining about her weight.
The cool kids, (relatively speaking) are hanging out in the hot tub. Eric tells Jessica he likes her butt, and Jessica says that Eric is from Mexico because he did not like Napoleon Dynamite. Once again, I don’t know what one thing has to do with the other, and think it might do these kids well to remember that there are cameras on them all. the. time, and try to curb the talk that doesn’t make any sense, (and may be offensive).
The party moves to the HOH room, and soon Dustin storms in all livid because Dick has stolen things from him. He’s taken Dustin’s Kings robe and his fake tattoos, and he is hiding the olives. Not the olives!! Dustin rants about how Dick hates it when he wears the robe, and that he can’t believe a grown man is stealing things from him because he’s jealous. I can’t believe that a grown man is in that house at all.
Dustin relies on some hardcore yoga to get him through losing his Kings robe.
The conversation moves to the POV, and Dustin thinks Dick will use it on himself just to make everyone in the house miserable. Then it’s revealed that Dani has M&Ms™ under her bed, and Dustin decides to watch her like a hawk so he can catch her cheating and eating them. None of them seem to know that she uses the M&Ms™ to study for the HOH competitions. I think that would make too much sense.
Jessica, Amber and Jameka stay in the HOH room to dish further about the POV. The ladies are 99.99% sure that Dick is going to use the POV to take Dani off the block, so both Jameka and Amber offer to be pawns. Dustin was originally okay with the idea of being a pawn, but then wised up, and told Jessica he did not want to be put up because he didn’t think he’d be able to control his mouth going up against Dick. Oh, and then there’s the fact that he doesn’t want to get “accidentally” voted out.
The ladies are really stressing about the veto. They want Dani to go, but know that Dick will save her, and that one of them really, really needs to get HOH next week to knock the remaining one out.
Well, nothing relieves stress like beer pong, and the HGs are up for some raucous rounds tonight! It’s Dani and Zach against Jessica and Eric, and boy-oh-boy are the stakes high! If Dani and Zach win, Eric has to propose to Carol at the wrap party, and then Jessica has to slap them both, but if Eric and Jess win, Zach and Dani have to sit under the covers in their underwear and have a 5 minute conversation about whatever they want. Seriously guys? This is all you’ve got? What a bunch of amateurs.
While this excitement is going on, Amber has a heart to heart with Dustin about how backing out of being the pawn makes him seem really shady. Dustin concedes that he doesn’t have a problem going up against Dick, but he doesn’t want to go up against Dani, and Amber says that sounds good… as if Dustin’s got a choice in the matter anyway. Then Amber sits on Dustin’s lap and hugs him tightly for a for such a long time that I am reminded of reading Of Mice and Men in school, and I’m a little frightened for Dustin.
Hugging her won't get the crazy out, Dustin.
After the exciting game of Beer Pong, Jess and Zach head out to the hammock for some late night one on one time. Jessica comments that Zach seems trustworthy, and he agrees, and then suggests she separately tell all the members of her alliance that she is putting them up, and if they don’t mind that means they’re loyal, and if they do mind that means they’re aligned with Dick. Jess likes this idea, and tells him that she really wants to trust Eric, but she just doesn’t know if she can after all his antics last week.
The crew, (well, Jess, Dustin, Jen, Eric and Amber), head up to the HOH room to play a backwards version of “I Never,” and here’s a little bit of the fun:
• I've never lied to my parents: Amber, Jen and Jess each add a point although Jen tells everyone that she’s only lied to her dad, not both her parents.
• I've never worn contacts: Amber takes another point.
• I've never had a close personal friendship with a multiple business owner from Rainbow Oregon: Everyone gets a point except for Jen.
• I've never had sex with the opposite sex: Only Dustin this time.
• I've never eaten so much that I've thrown up: Dustin and Jen take points, but apparently Eric has stuffed himself to overflowing at least once because he doesn’t take one.
• I've never smoked anything: Jen is the only one to take a point.
And yay, it’s done! Wasn’t that fun? Maybe not, but it would be a way to pass the time if you had nothing else to do and were stuck in a house full of boring, devious, morons.
Laaaate that night, Eric follows Jessica up to the HOH room to set up his latest task as America’s Player. He complains about not feeling well, and how he’s afraid he has the flu and is light headed. They’re interrupted by Amber who has decided not to sleep in the HOH room, and this prompts Jess to ask Eric if he wants to stay with her, and I’m sure it absolutely kills him to say no, but he has to do what America wants, and America wants him to give Jessica the silent treatment on Monday.
I think Eric is mad at us.
The HGs screw around for a while longer. Dick talks game with Jen, Amber talks game with Dustin, and Jess takes advantage of the tub in the HOH bathroom to shave her legs, and then spends a very, very long time on her hair. I find this odd, because at that point it’s about 4am BB time, and it seems like 4am is a better time for sleeping than it is for styling one’s hair. She finally falls asleep around 5:30, and an hour later, BB wakes all the HGs up and announces that the POV Ceremony will take place in 90 minutes. This is pretty exciting for me, because my shift usually ends right before the POV Ceremony, so I usually miss out on the aftermath, but not today!
One is the loneliest number.
Jessica is very, very tired, which is not shocking since she got all of an hour of sleep. She should be thankful that Eric didn’t spend the night with her, because he would not have shut up for one second. Speaking of Eric- he is pretending that he saw a medic in the DR, and he is supposed to stay in bed until the POV Ceremony because he’s so sick, but Jessica isn’t buying it and thinks that he’s not speaking to her because he’s got a super-secret alliance with Jen. Poor Eric- screwed over by America once again. Jessica hides in the HOH room for a while and cries about Eric’s meanness, and then heads down for the POV Ceremony.
It sounds like things panned out as expected- Dick used the POV to save Dani, and Jessica put Dustin up as the replacement nominee. The HGs talk a lot about Dick’s speech and remark that they’re happy they could see that side of him.
After the ceremony, Dick pulls Jameka aside to tell her that his most obnoxious man in the world act was all a front so that he could help keep Dani in the game. Jameka replies “Mmmmmm-hmmmm,” and I agree completely.
I have no idea what this is all about, but doesn't it kind of look like they're both topless?