*This is a recap of events from noon Saturday to noon Sunday*
As I tune in, the houseguests are gearing up for the veto competition, each in their own little way. Several of them prepare speeches just in case they win, Dick curses left and right (and up and down), Daniele whines, and Dustin plays like a ninja with the keys under the pictures. Seriously. He pulls them out and holds them like a sword, doing some dorky ninja moves. Dustin also told his cronies that if he has a chance, he’ll pretend to fall during the comp and make it look like Dick did it. Dick, trying to stir some crap up before he goes, sneaks into Dustin’s room to nab his shades. He ponders stealing one of Dustin’s tired-ass grey t-shirts to wear, but decides not to. Yes, dear readers, these are all supposed to be grown ups. Not that we could ever tell.
I’m actually praying to gangsta God to be flushed down the blue vortex after watching these fools for a while. Alas, I’m stuck waiting on BB to get their asses in gear and start the comp. While Dick wears Dustin’s shades downstairs, the others play some made-up trivia game in the HoH and do some Dick bashing in between. Zach joins in, which just dropped him about five places on my list. Eric made up a question about his “cup size,” with Jessica calling him a double A. When someone asks her what that means, she says it “basically means you’re Asian.” Nice, huh?
Think he's got a 666 tattooed under that hair?
Booyah! *pumps fist in air* We finally get flushed. And it lasts for over four freaking hours. They could at least make up some new trivia questions if they’re going to take this long, though it is nice to have the old-school music back, and...what? Oh, you want to know who won? Why, it was....Dick! Yep, the old man of the house pulled it off, much to the chagrin of the sheeples holed up in the HoH room. Apparently Dick wasn’t on his bestest behavior (what’s new?) during the comp, and poor Daniele is taking the brunt of it. The others confront Dani like she’s supposed to be able to control her dad’s antics. Eric is the ringleader of the inquisition, as they all take turns ripping on her. Notice how none of them have the cajones to go downstairs to confront Dick himself, they just pick on his 20 year old daughter. Daniele is soooo frustrated.
Daniele leaves to go find dear old dad and proceeds to bitch about her being bitched at. They discuss the veto comp, which had them drinking different concoctions: some okay, some foul. Dick makes a comment about Dustin being used to drinking foul things, which I’ll spare you. Daniele say that Jen is worried about being put up, and Dick thinks that using the veto to save Daniele would be a great way to make an exit for himself. Daniele then complains about Dick’s funky breath, and he goes off to find the mouthwash as I roll in laughter.
Someone needs to go to abs class, stat.
Random, totally useless filler:
Jameka later corners Daniele and tells her that she doesn’t like how Daniele has isolated herself from the rest of the house. Jameka wants to know more about her! Mmmhmm. Daniele says she’s a “very, very personal person,” and doesn’t like to share all her stuff like that. Jameka claims to not know any more about Dani than she did in week two. Nick is brought up, and Daniele tells Jameka that Nick was one of the best friends she’s had in a long time, they were sooo close, and her situation is just soooo haaaard. That sound you hear is Dani’s boyfriend, Kris, throwing all her stuff out in the yard.
- Dick weighs 175 pounds, according to the BB scale. 10 pounds of that is pure Evel.
- Eric wondered aloud if their group is being compared to the Nerd Herd. *ding ding* We have a winner, folks!
- Amber is rethinking her decision to tell the others about her drug use. Hello, Captain Obvious!
- Pig’s feet, maple syrup, pickle juice, and tea were part of the veto comp. Mmm, good!
- Eric said that you can always tell a genuine person, you either are or you’re not. Oh, the irony.
- Daniele thinks she can’t tan well whilst on slop. Does it have an SPF rating or something?
- Zach claims to have eaten brains, crickets, and spiders. This explains a lot.
- Amber says she almost got implants but her boyfriend said not to. He'd probably prefer a personality implant.
- Eric had an erotic dream about Jen. I’m sure she’s thoroughly disgusted.
- Daniele hasn’t seen the Pirates movie that Dick was in.
In the workout room, Amber and Zach are zaching away on the machines. Zach actually has an independent thought for once, and tells Amber that he thinks Dick will use the veto on Dani. Well, I didn’t say it was a profound thought. Amber then compliments Zach’s build (wait, did she not see him streak?), telling him he could really be ripped if he wanted to. Eww, I think I see where this is going. She then tells him that she and Jessica were talking about his “pretty eyes.” Stay down, dinner, stay down. Zach says that he needs to stay ripped for Jessica (huh?) and Amber, the bodacious flirt that she is, tells him that he’s not nearly as creepy as she once thought. Zach is happy. And I think Zach is the only man in the world that line would work on.
Wash that thing once in a while and it won't itch, hon.
Digging for gold at the south pole.
Zach should rethink his new-found “friends,” as they are upstairs bashing him soundly for not making any big game moves and for throwing the comp. Because none of them have done such awful things. Dustin the Magnificent is crowing about how he tried to win the veto for all those who have been subject to Dick’s rantings, for all the good Christians in the world, the downtrodden, the starving children in third world countries....what a blowhard. He also claims to have never thrown a comp. Perhaps his memory will come back on that trip to Barbados? I hope it hurts when he falls off that pedestal he’s placed himself on. Really.
Dustin is still pimping himself to be the pawn when Dick uses the veto, too. Eric is nervousing about this plan, but not for the reason Dustin thinks. Eric knows that he has to vote the way WE tell him to, and the weasel may be found out if he has to vote Dustin. Dustin insists, thinking that he’d be safe and that they need to do something to keep Zach and Jen in their herd of sheep. Zach and Jen seem to be playing both sides. Eric's beady little eyes dart back and forth, unsure how to play this one.
Night falls, and so does the intelligence level in the house. Dick and Daniele, who have made fun of Zach’s M&M calendar, are planning strategy using candy, tea bags, and bandaids. The New Nerd Herd is still upstairs, trashing anyone not in the room. Jessica jokingly says this year’s twist is that Dick is the Devil, but Amber thinks he seriously is. She knows, she’s seen fire and brimstone and scary things in his eyes. Someone needs to quit taking Jameka’s bible so literally. This is your brain after drugs, Amber.
The Incredible Rubber Weasel.
Inside lockdown is over, and hamsters emerge from their hideaways, mostly heading toward the kitchen. Dick announces to Dustin that he got what he wanted, and Dick won’t give him a hard time anymore. Dustin blows him off. Well this is going to be a boring night, I can see. The Reign Of Terror has ended - or has it?
Zach sets up a game of beer pong, Jameka undoes the braids on Amber’s nasty head, and Dick smokes outside while watering the grass with spit. Amber shares that she and her sister can speak in some form of gibberish/Pig Latin, and gives an example that makes my head hurt. I then throw things at Jameka as she asks Amber how she did with childbirth, and Amber replies that she was “cut from hole to hole.” Stop encouraging her, woman! I want the blue vortex to suck me away from these idiots, but Skippy doesn’t comply.
Changing feeds, it doesn’t get any better. Dick goes back on his promise of a kinder, gentler Dick and berates Dustin for leaving, umm, "stuff" on the toilet, demanding he go to clean it up. Dustin tells Dick not to point a finger, because there will be three pointing back at him. Snappy comeback, dude. Dick walks off, telling nobody in particular that he only has one finger for Dustin (guess which one?), and calling him a douchebag over and over. Dustin goes to work out, running on the treadmill and doing jumping jacks. We’re also treated to a major close-up of Amber digging for gold up her nose in the mirror, and I wonder what has become of my Saturday nights.
Jen learns that Eric had a naughty dream about her. Or, she saw Zach naked again.
And it gets even better! Jameka tells Amber that she can see her on the cover of a magazine (Meth Heads Weekly?) and Amber replies that she wants to be a motivational speaker, and counsel unhappy couples. I spray tea all over my monitor. She then talks of her cellulite-ridden behind, and I run screaming from the room.
It’s almost midnight if you've managed to make it this far without going to sleep, and the Daniele/Zach team has beaten Eric and Jessica in beer pong. Watch for highlights on ESPN. Or, not. Hamsters wander off for midnight snacks, bashing and rehashing people and events of the day. I thank BB for putting them to bed early, around 3 am. The boredom in the BB house (and mine) is palpable. By noon the next day, all of them were still sleeping with the exception of Dick, who hacks and spits his way through his morning cigarettes. Calgon, take me away....
A big thanks to Telcta, lildago, and Snapit for the great screencaps!