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Thread: 8/6 Big Brother Live Feed Recap: Pissing The Night Away

  1. #1
    runs with scissors waywyrd's Avatar
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    8/6 Big Brother Live Feed Recap: Pissing The Night Away

    *This is a recap of events from noon Monday to noon Tuesday*

    Conspiracies! Lies! Leaks! Unwashed hands! Fingers in noses! Gonorrhea! What a group we have this year. Paranoia and poor personal hygeine run rampant in this house, as do half-witted strategy, incessant whining, and piles of foul language. I just want to send out thanks to this year's hamsters for making it so easy to ridicule them. Thumbs up, you bunch of goofballs!

    Okay, okay. On with the recap. Once we return from being flushed down the blue vortex, we learn that Jen has used the veto on herself and her replacement is….Eric! Big shocker there. He knew it was coming. Even the topiary bunnies saw that one coming. Eric plays the martyr in the bedroom with Jameka, Jessica, and Dustin, telling them that he’s happy to take all the heat and he’s glad it wasn’t one of them. You LIE, Eric! Eric also tells them it was hard not to stand up and tear in to Daniele during the meeting. In real life, he would have. Yeah, right. And Dick would have been at your throat like a rabid dog. Jameka tells him he did just fine during the meeting, and says that his fate is now in other people’s hands. Wait – I thought the whole game was predetermined and God wanted her to win? Mmm hmm. Eric asks if it would be unsportsmanlike to do a little jig when the votes are read on Thursday – uh, yeah, it would, dorkface. Jessica says she won’t hug him if he does it. Eric also thinks all the good people are on one side. Good people? Where? Are they hiding, because I haven’t seen them.


    Guess which one of Dick's favorite words he's about to say!

    Sick of listening to the “good people,” I go to the kitchen and see what’s up there. Lo and behold, it’s another of the seven signs: Dick is having a lovely talk with Kail about raising kids and other happy things. She smiles. He smiles. And he never utters f*** one time during the whole conversation. He even asks if his cigarette smoke is bothering her later on outside. I tap my computer screen – is this the same two who hated each other’s guts a few days ago? I’m going to check the backyard for any alien pods that may have fallen out of the sky…

    Daniele is upset because she thinks Jessica is mad at them. Because Jess went running straight to Eric after Dick and Daniele gave her the “scoop” on Eric’s shadiness, and now Jessica won’t even look their way. Yeah, I’d take that as a sign that she’s not on your side, guys. Dick thinks Jess is too smart to turn on someone who will have her back, and that would be Eric. They’re both sure that Eric will be booted out Thursday, and Dick thinks Jess will get over it in a week. Daniele thinks Amber is mad at them, too, but…who really cares.


    Big bunny pimpin'.

    Elsewhere, dirty Dustin is interrogating Zach, asking if he has a deal with Dick and Daniele. Zach claims to have no allies, not wanting to turn on the only people who have bothered to act like he existed, even if they are only nice to him for his vote. He knows this. Dustin says Kail is a goner this week. Zach refuses to commit to voting her out, and Dustin is miffed. Eric hasn’t talked to me in 40 days, says Zach. What do I gain by keeping him, when Kail can’t compete for HoH for five weeks? Dustin insists that Dick will screw the hapless Zach over, but Zach tells him that he enjoys Dick’s company because he treats him like a *gasp* person. He plays games with him, does cannonballs into the pool with him, and scratches him behind his ears while the others treat Zach like he’s a leper. Nonetheless, Dustin vows that Dick will go on the block next week. Don’t count those chickens before they hatch, booger boy.

    Dustin takes his weekly bath in the hot tub later that afternoon, chatting with Dick as he sits on the couches. They talk of tea and farts, the normal stuff. Dustin gets in a dig at Jen, saying she looked better with clothes on. Well duh. You’re gay, I don’t think you’d be thrilled at the display of T&A. Dick thinks Jen looks smashing in her bunny suit (seriously, who is this guy and where did Evel Dick go?) and they both agree that even Zach looks cute in the bunny suit. Okay, now I know they’ve been eating those magic mushrooms in the backyard.
    • Dick used to call Daniele a “human garbage disposal,” because she ate anything in sight. What happened?
    • BB has decreed that all bunnies shall wear their ears from now on, like it or not. Kail no like.
    • Dick used to do some modeling back in the day. Way, way back.
    • Dustin had a dream about the houseguest’s photos, a SWAT team, people dressed in black, and him trying not to get shot. There’s those ‘shrooms again.
    • Jen dreamed that America voted that she should get a million dollars if she won. Dream on, girl.
    • Breaking news - Daniele hates being in the house. It’s soooo fruuustratinggg.
    • Jessica smoked Marlboro Reds in high school, in case you cared.
    • The guy responsible for the plane banner the other day got the smack-down from CBS. Hey, at least it caused a little excitement.

    Outdoor lockdown, and everyone appears but Daniele, who is stuck in the DR. They asked her to bring a change of shirt for whatever reason. The others yap about stuff like lost luggage, Pam Anderson, and things I can’t hear over Amber’s incessant droning to poor Kail, who looks ready to bolt at any second. All I have to say is thank god for the mute button. When Amber talks about how much she loves the person she is today, I almost lose my dinner.

    Speaking of the house basketcase, Amber’s really made an ass of herself tonight. She regrets voting out Nick. She’s mad at Eric because he told Jen the exact same thing he told Amber - that he “wished he could spend more time with you, I feel like I can talk to you.” Looks like America’s Player isn’t so smooth. Add to this her foul comments about Jewish people (how they’re cheap, greedy, and you can tell they’re Jewish by their noses) and Amber’s going to be on many people’s s*** lists. To Jameka’s credit, she told Amber to lay off the anti-Semitism because some people may not take it well. Too late.


    You just wish you could get in here, Eric.

    Upstairs, Daniele holds court with Zach, where he shares his hate for Kail. And Eric. Basically, Zach says he’ll do whatever D&D want him to do, but he needs to make sure they have his back next week. Sure we do, replies Daniele. Zach then drones on about his game strategy, thinking that he’s now some power player in the house when in reality he’s just Dick’s bunny bitch. Zach shares that he deliberately kept himself apart from the group the last few weeks so he could sit back and see how the alliances fell out. Sure, people weren’t avoiding you at all, Zach. You were doing it on purpose. Ha.

    Dick comes out to join Jen and Kail in the hammock. He thinks the producers are eating it up now that they’re all bestest friends. He plans on pulling Amber to the side right before the vote and whispering to her all about how Eric plans on using her dirty not-so-secrets against her, just like Will did with Janelle. Dick thinks they should all work together as a group, and Kail asks if this means they won’t get cussed out anymore. Dick says that was all just strategy. (insert rofl smiley here)

    Amber later drags Dustin to the bathroom couch and tells him of Eric’s plan to use her fake abortion “secret” against her. Apparently Dick said something to her, but didn’t tell her specifics just yet. She’s just assuming correctly for once. Amber is pissed, because she only told Dustin, Eric and Jameka about it. Oh, and the millions of people watching online, you twit. Someone’s going to have some ‘splaining to do when they get back to their boyfriend. She Eric bashes, but Dustin tells her to suck it up because they need him in the game. She starts sniffling about people using her heart against her, and....wait for it....wait....there we go. Full on waterworks. Break out the Kleenex.


    Dustin, I really think it's time you discovered soap.

    And here we go - Dick just couldn’t take it anymore, and blows up on Dustin in the bathroom. He must have been saving up those four letter words all day just for this. He yells at Dustin that he’s splitting the house in two and threatening people and telling everyone not to trust him or Daniele. The girls scatter like rats. Dick continues ranting about how Dustin took prizes instead of the POV and that he joined with the wrong people, and ends it with a big “f*** you, Dustin!” And a door slam for good measure.

    Dick then runs to proudly tell Daniele of his latest outburst, while Dustin flounces off to tell Jessica, who was peacefully sleeping. Eric is there, and they realize it was Zach who leaked the “don’t trust the Donatos” stuff. Busted!

    After hashing and rehashing Dick’s bout of verbal diarrhea, the hamsters settle down to piss the night away. Daniele picks her split ends on the couch outside, Zach and Dick play screwed-up croquet, and Jameka polls everyone on how they pronounce the word “grocery” because it’s just so damned interesting. These people need some games to play. Kail worries to Jen about people thinking she’s got a secret alliance with Dustin after he told Dick that he had Kail “wrapped around his little finger.” Just as long as it's not the one that stays in his nose, Kail. Zach sings the Lumberjack song from Monty Python, and we get flushed for a moment. He also gets the lyrics wrong. Poor dumb bunny.

    Dick yells at Dustin some more when he comes out to lift weights, calling him a piece of s***. Dustin ignores it, as do most people when Dick goes on a rant now. Most of the hamsters file into the kitchen and chow down on hot dogs and chips and other healthy grub. Zach wanders in and begs someone to play croquet with him, but they all blow him off. Amber finally goes to play with him later while the others watch and Zach does some goofy commentary. He tries, but he's socially inept. Dick goes to the storage room to discover that the booze fairy has visited and left eight whole beers and a bottle of wine. Woohoo! This leads to another game of beer pong between Dustin, Zach, Eric and Jessica.


    Try as she might, Jameka can't make a 10 out of a zero.

    Jameka gets bored with the rest of us and decides that she’s going to braid people’s hair. Dick asks if she means like Bo Derek in “10,” but Jameka has never heard of her or the movie. I feel old. Jameka’s first participant is going to be Amber, and I throw up a little in my mouth. I can’t see this being an improvement in the looks department for ol’ Wahmber. Jameka begins the arduous task of braiding the cry-baby’s ratty hair.

    Off in the bedroom, Jessica and Eric are doing their nightly silly routine. They pretend they’re going to get married, have a one day engagement, get a little dog and name him Guido....ugh. Jessica suggests that they name their dog after Jameka instead, because she likes her so much. I guess that's a compliment? Jen and Kail gossip while getting ready for bed, and Kail seems to know for sure she’s going home: “Dustin’s making sure of it!” Jen calls Dustin an idiot and tells Kail not to worry. Jen also talks about how she overheard that Daniele was going to be homeless after the show, and Kail’s jaw drops. They think it had to do with Daniele’s letter from home, her boyfriend’s dumping her, etc. “That’s too bad,” says Kail. Not so much, says Jen, insinuating it’s Dani’s fault.

    Hours later, Jameka has somewhat finished braiding Amber’s hair. I think it was taking too long, and she just gave up. I laugh. She looks like Bo Derek’s ugly cousin.

    Big thanks to Jewelsy and bbnbama for the screencaps!
    Time you enjoy wasting was not wasted - John Lennon

  2. #2
    Premium Member dagwood's Avatar
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    Re: 8/6 Big Brother Live Feed Recap: Pissing The Night Away

    I go to the kitchen and see what’s up there. Lo and behold, it’s another of the seven signs: Dick is having a lovely talk with Kail about raising kids and other happy things. She smiles. He smiles. And he never utters f*** one time during the whole conversation. He even asks if his cigarette smoke is bothering her later on outside. I tap my computer screen – is this the same two who hated each other’s guts a few days ago? I’m going to check the backyard for any alien pods that may have fallen out of the sky…

    Dick thinks Jen looks smashing in her bunny suit (seriously, who is this guy and where did Evel Dick go?

    Okay, now I know they’ve been eating those magic mushrooms in the backyard.
    They need to show the mushrooms.

    Excellent recap!

  3. #3
    lei
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    Re: 8/6 Big Brother Live Feed Recap: Pissing The Night Away

    Another hilarious recap, waywyrd! Thank you so much for doing this.

  4. #4
    Leaning Forward cantstopwatchin's Avatar
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    Re: 8/6 Big Brother Live Feed Recap: Pissing The Night Away

    Quote Originally Posted by dagwood;2510322;
    They need to show the mushrooms.

    Excellent recap!
    Thanks for the recap; it was great!
    "We must overcome the notion that we must be regular...it robs you of the chance to be extraordinary and leads you to the mediocre." - Uta Hagen

    “I don’t want my pain erased! As wretched as it is, I need my pain… It makes me who I am. It makes me Grumpy.” - Grumpy, Once Upon a Time

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    Who Dat lildago's Avatar
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    Re: 8/6 Big Brother Live Feed Recap: Pissing The Night Away

    Love the Dani caption! Great recap, waywyrd!
    Getting lost will help you find yourself.

  6. #6
    Peace MsFroggy's Avatar
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    Re: 8/6 Big Brother Live Feed Recap: Pissing The Night Away

    Dustin takes his weekly bath in the hot tub later that afternoon, chatting with Dick as he sits on the couches. They talk of tea and farts, the normal stuff.
    They should have never voted out Joe. At least he showered daily.


    Loved the recap, way!!
    "Feel the sky blanket you/ With gems and rhinestones/ See the path cut by the moon/ For you to walk on" - EV

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    Mullet/Summer Enthusiast AshleyPSU's Avatar
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    Re: 8/6 Big Brother Live Feed Recap: Pissing The Night Away

    Way, I always love your recaps. Great job!
    Wake up and be awesome

  8. #8
    Jensa Member Jensa's Avatar
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    Re: 8/6 Big Brother Live Feed Recap: Pissing The Night Away

    Hilarious recap! I loved it!

  9. #9
    Gator Chompin' Ancient City's Avatar
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    Re: 8/6 Big Brother Live Feed Recap: Pissing The Night Away

    Quote Originally Posted by waywyrd;2510206;
    Eric also thinks all the good people are on one side. Good people? Where? Are they hiding, because I haven’t seen them.[/I]
    Shades of Maggie and The Nerd Herd 1.0. Great job, Waywyrd!
    Down where the old Gators play. . .

  10. #10
    Will lie Snitch's Avatar
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    Re: 8/6 Big Brother Live Feed Recap: Pissing The Night Away

    great recap. Hillarious
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