*This is a recap of events from noon Saturday to noon Sunday*
Welcome back, hamster watchers, for another fun-filled day with our favorite morons. As my shift starts, hamsters are primping for the POV competition. Kail and Jen fix their hair, Daniele is still busy shaving her entire body, and Zach is sitting on Dustinís lap, pretending heís Santa Claus and asking for a giraffe. He ought to be asking for a personality that wonít make people flee in disgust when he enters a room. Dick is sucking back beer like itís going out of style and chomping maniacally on chips or something. Oh, and showing us his version of Touretteís, where every other word he screams out is f***, Jen, or Kail. Or a combination of those three.
Finally, we lose these spazzes for a while as weíre flushed down the blue toilet bowl - the competition has begun! When we come back later, we get...
More of Dick screaming and throwing things. Sigh. I take it the comp didnít go your way, Dicky D.? Guess not, since Jen won the veto and Dick is now throwing her clothes around and threatening to throw bleach on them. Apparently Jen thinks Dick went through her things, heís telling her she crossed that proverbial line again and calls her a piece of s***, and the other hamsters slide quietly out of the room, with the exception of Jessica. I guess she wanted to catch the afternoon matinee of the Dick Show. He finally runs out of steam and goes to see Daniele, who looks like someone licked all the red off her candy. Jameka is crying and praying frantically in a corner of the garden. Must have been one hell of a competition!
I was hoping, like, this would be more Playboy bunny than Energizer bunny.
Some things we know, and some we probably wish we didnít:
- Jen, Zach, Daniele, and Kail have to wear bunny suits all week. Big, furry, hot bunny suits, not the cutesy Playboy bunny things.
- Kail, Jameka, and Jen are on slop for a while. It may be as long as 30 days, with a few breaks.
- Several people had to give up their chances at HoH for five weeks - I think they are Jameka, Jen, Daniele, and Kail.
- Jen agreed to give up half her money at the end if she wins.
- Lots of hamsters must go out every single hour and dump some kind of nasty liquid on themselves. Whee. Kail, Jen, Daniele, Zach, and Jameka are among the dunkees.
- A siren will wake the hamsters every hour for the next 24 hours.
Jen is nervousing about her stuff now that sheís won the veto once again, and she doesnít want a repeat of Mustardgate. Dustin vows to have her back, and wants Jen to let him know if Dick gets in her face. What are you going to do, Dustin? Flick boogers at him? Keep that finger out of your nose, man, I think youíve been poking your brain too much.
Hey, this chair does taste better then slop!
Dick and Daniele confer in the HoH lair about the fallout from the comp. Apparently something Daniele did during the comp caused Jameka to lose her HoH chances for five weeks, and Jameka is freaking. Dick tells Dani not to worry, and Jameka later tells Daniele that it was okay, she had to play the game. Dick is foaming at the mouth, wanting to out Ericís two-faced play to everyone, while Daniele continues to whine about not being able to play for HoH. Shuuuut uuup. Dr. Will won the game without ever being HoH. Then again, he actually had an IQ over 50, unlike some of these fools.
In another display of outright cluelessness, Dick and Daniele talk to Jessica and tell her the shocking news that Eric has been in cahoots with Kail! Wait...what? Dick insists that Eric has been behind everything, they want him out, etc. Jessica plainly tells them that they donít have the votes to get Eric out. Dick keeps spouting his conspiracy theories about an alliance that has never existed - Kail and Eric got together in pre-show sequester and hatched their evil plans! According to Dick and Daniele, Eric is responsible for everything from the holes in the ozone layer to the rising cost of gasoline. Jessica just looks at them like the terminally clueless people that they are, and wishes that she could go do her nails or something more entertaining.
The Human Saline Machine keeps a glass of water handy for refills.
In another room, the others are trashing Dick and Daniele. Jameka canít believe Dick was tossing Jenís things around, and Dustin admits that while Jen is a bitch, she shouldnít have to ďlive in fear.Ē Eric agrees, and thinks itís just terrible that they call Jen names like they do. Because he never does it. Right. They all agree that Dick and Dani are tightly aligned after seeing them give signals to each other during the comp, and dethroned King Dustin decrees that D&D are now public enemy number one after breaking their word to Kail about not putting her up. Off with their heads, says the Queen of Farts.
Totally useless filler:
- Daniele is whining that the hourly dunkings of crap will dry out her hair.
- Kail is inspired by the movie G.I. Jane, and wouldnít mind shaving her head to win a comp.
- Dick tried to hide Jenís gloves before the POV comp, and she smashed some of his cigarettes in return. Putz.
- Zach says he once wore the same pair of pants for two months straight in high school. And never washed them. Bet the chicks loved that.
- Amber apologized to Kail for cussing her out about the chores a few days ago. And hey, she didnít cry while doing it!
- Zach is still worried about the girls taking over the house. He should enjoy some female company while he can, I donít think theyíll be clamoring to be around his ringworm/fungus/whatever infected self when he gets out.
- Jen says she knows Eric didnít do Mustardgate, because he was with her the whole time. Do what?!
- Dustinís family had a designated curse time, where theyíd say the words into the toilet and flush them away.
Zach really gets into his
Later, Daniele and Jen, like, have a strategy talk. Jen admits that sheís going to use the POV on herself (duh) and presses Daniele to spill the beans on who will take her place. Dani doesnít want to say because she doesnít want Kail to know. Jen tells Dani that Kail drives her nuts with all the negative talk and the breakdowns, but sheíll still vote to keep her. She finally asks Daniele if she plans on putting Eric up, and Daniele says maybe, with a little grin. Way to keep a secret, girl! Daniele tries to make Jen promise to vote for Kail - do you pinky swear? - then they proceed to bash Dickís awful behavior in the house. Jen doesnít buy the Eric-Kail conspiracy theory, either, commenting that heís aligned with everyone in the house anyway.
Elsewhere, Jessica spills to Jameka about her meeting with Dick and Daniele. They pledge allegiance to Eric but agree that his spazziness is a problem and he needs to ďchill.Ē They sit in the hot tub with Eric and rehash the 254th Dick/Jen fight from earlier, and....wait a minute. Breaking news! Dick and Jen have just called a truce, and Dick gives her a hug! Is this one of the seven signs? Maybe I should ask Jameka. Jen tells Dick not to blow up at the person replacing her on the block, and Dick says he will because he can - he has the votes in the bag. He doesnít, really. But you canít tell him that.
Dick and Jen call a truce. Now taking bets as to how long it will last.
Jessica and Jen meet up later to talk about all things Eric. Jessica tells Jen that she heard Jen confirmed the Eric/Kail allaince, but Jen corrects her, saying that she only said Eric was playing all sides. Jess is confused. She doesnít know if she can trust Eric now, especially after asking him what he and Amber were talking about the other night. He said it was about the banner, but Jessica didnít believe him. Jen tells her not to trust Eric or Dick. Jessica feels caught in the middle. Welcome to the game, Jessica - glad you could finally join us!
Jen later tells Kail about the new peace treaty between she and Dick, but Eric thinks itís phony. Daniele tries to get Dustin to see the light about Eric and how heís been playing everyone, but Dustin wants proof. Then Dustin goes running to Eric and Amber, warning Eric about the natives growing restless and how Dick wants to call him out in front of everyone. He also tells Amber that Daniele is blaming her for Nickís eviction. Amber isnít pleased. Is she ever? Not wanting to be left out of the he said, she said crap, Jameka runs to Eric and tells him that she heard heís going up on the block. Now heís starting to worry. I can tell, his beady little eyes are shifting faster than usual.
America's Dork is nervousing.
Dinnertime, and Dick has made tacos. Everyone nervously waits for Dick to start his freak-out on Eric, but he never does. Itís just a boring dinner. Damn.
And so goes the night. The dunkings continue every hour, and various pairs of hamsters creep off to talk about the alliance that never was. Kail denies it to Dustin, and Dustin says he wants Kail to try and talk Daniele into putting Zach up. Then he tells her not to talk to Daniele for a few days. Duh. I told you to keep that finger out of there, Dustin. Jessica canít stand it any more and goes to tell Eric of all the things being said about him, which he vehemently denies. He shoots her the beady puppy dog eyes, saying that he can handle everyone else talking smack, but he couldnít deal with it if she was mad at him. Jessica seems to fall for it. Sucker.
Not much to report in the wee hours, unless youíre interested in talk of how Zach may do a naked dunking and some foul discussions of anal sex, which Jen opted out of. Unfortunately, Dustin and company didnít. And donít forget the always popular duo of poop and flatulence talk. These people have major issues, is all I have to say.
Thanks a million for the screencaps, Jewelsy, bbnbama, and Snapit!