7/31 Big Brother Live Feed Recap: Things That Make You Go Hmm

[AshleyPSU]

This recap covers noon Tuesday to noon Wednesday, BB time.

As my shift begins, Amber is in the kitchen washing dishes. Jen, Dustin, Eric, and Kail are out in the backyard sunning themselves. Nick walks into the kitchen and starts complaining to Amber about the aches in his ear and back. She starts to cry because she is so upset for him. Kidding. She continues washing the dishes. The cam switches to Jameka who is still in bed. Nick walks into her room clapping his hands and shouting for her to wake up. I wish she would slap that pornstache right off of his face.

Dick takes Amber into the storage room to discuss Monday night’s antics. He tells her that one person can ruin the fun for everyone, and he doesn’t want to infringe on what Daniele wants to do or what Amber wants to do. Daniele walks in and says she feels really bad today. Surprise. She leaves. Amber says she told Nick that both Nick and Zach were replacement possibilities. Dick is fine with whatever happens. He says if everyone wants to talk then that’s cool but if not, that’s cool too. Amber comments that it’s cool also. Newsflash: Everyone is cool.


I like can’t stand girls that like curl their hair with a curling iron.

Dick makes his way to the bathroom where Daniele is brushing her teeth. She tells him that two years isn’t that long of a time but when you don’t have a father between the ages of 18-21 it’s a lot different. He says that something he said last night was taken out of context. He didn’t mean it like Daniele took it. She whines. Nick walks in. Daniele says she is sore from the horrible beds everyday and they all can’t have the best bed in the house like Dick. He says he has offered it to everyone but had no takers. The other houseguests don’t want to sleep with the psychopathic man who refers to himself as Evel? You don’t say!

Dick, Daniele, and Nick make their way to the kitchen. Daniele eats cereal and they all make fun of Jen. BB tells Jen to put on her microphone and Dick counters with, “C***, please put on your microphone.” He’s vile. They talk about the DR and Dick says there is only one dude and one chick in there that he likes. Nick says they ask the same things over and over and he wants to tell them he already f’in answered it! Nick’s a big boy using the f word to impress King Dick. Daniele keeps looking at Nick’s mohawk with a sad look on her face. Nick says he is going to be a different person at the wrap party. Daniele says he’ll still be the pretty boy next door, just better. She makes fun of him. They make fun of Jen. My IQ drops 50 points. Daniele is talking about Jen’s RP. She is just as vile as her father.


Her cup runneth over

More of nothing ensues, and BB announces an inside lockdown. Nick, Dani, and Dick settle in for some more Jen bashing. Dick leaves and Nick and Dani stay in bed and start the annoying flirt talk. Zach sits in a bed nearby and watches with that stalkerish look in his eye. I can see the wheels turning in his head on how to get Nick all for himself. The rest of the hamsters are in the kitchen eating. Another banner plane flies by the BB house! Daniele tells Joe to stop sending them and they all laugh. Joe is probably the one laughing at how stupid these people are. They are joking that the banner said “Do not trust Eric”. Even though nobody saw what it really said, Dick thinks the banner was sent as a sign that Nick should stay.

Dick corners Eric in the bedroom and starts talking about the four horsemen from Season 5 and how they voted out Holly. They were five and killed one of their own. Eric doesn’t seem to get what he’s saying. I don’t either. Instead of explaining the four horsemen reference, Dick keeps telling Eric over and over that he isn’t understanding and Eric keeps pleading with Dick to explain it. After Dick gives Eric the runaround for about five more minutes, all that I can figure out is that Dick is thinking of keeping Nick and wants Eric to be on the same page. Dick is comparing Holly of BB5 to Nick of this season. He thinks it might be better not to cut off an arm before they need to. All this talk is getting a little bit heavy for me, so luckily the mood lightens when Dick farts and waves his arm to dispel the scent. How considerate. Dick tells Eric that Jameka told him that she will never do that again (using the veto). She claims that God spoke to her after she used it and said she shouldn’t have done it. Well Jameka, you do think that God is a gangsta and gangstas can change their minds if they want to! If Nick goes home this week, Dick wants Jen and Kail up again next week. He continues on about the horsemen and says that there are different things that make you go “hmmm”. Dick uses the phrase “things that make you go hmmm” so many times that I feel like I’m listening to the C&C Music Factory hit from the early 90’s.


At least Zach has one friend in the house

Some time passes, more of nothing occurs, and the cam rests on Jameka and Daniele in the kitchen. Daniele is complaining about Jen and about how Jen says things to her but Daniele doesn’t say anything back because Daniele is the bigger person. The only thing Daniele is bigger than is my pinky. Ohhhhh, she was talking about her maturity level? Silly me. Anyway, Daniele continues that there is only so much she can put up with, blah blah. I’m waiting for the trademark Daniele “It’s so frustrating” or “Whatever, I’m over it” but I am sadly disappointed. Daniele tells Jameka that she sometimes wonders if it’s worth it to be in the house. Her dad treats her like crap and Amber hates her. Money isn’t worth the horrible stuff she is experiencing. Jameka tells her that the good thing is that God always gives you another day. Boy, I’m glad all four cameras are on this conversation. Zzzzz. Jameka says she doesn’t know what’s going on with the banners, but someone is trying to let someone know something about something. There you have it folks. Give this girl a medal! Daniele and Dick think it has to do with Nick. Jameka thinks it is…. VORTEX! Nasty BB!

We come back and all four cams are on the backyard. Dustin says he wants to be financially stable before having a child. We switch to Nick and Daniele in the bedroom. Daniele is painting her fingernails. Nick tells camera 34 to give him some love. They are bantering back and forth and Nick gives her a playful tap. She says if he hits her again she will get him a penalty eviction. I feel some vomit coming up in my mouth so I change to Dick and Dustin in the kitchen. Dick is pitching his four horsemen and Holly scenario to Dustin. Once again he isn’t saying anything but expects Dustin to automatically pick up on his thought process. Dick keeps saying there are different things that make you go “hmm”. Dick is telling Dustin the same thing he told Eric. He says that Jase played too personal of a game. Dick says he’s tired of being the center of everything. Yeah right, King Dick.

I decide to look in on Dustin and Jameka in the HoH room. Jameka asks if she can use his bathroom. He asks if the one downstairs is full and she says no, but she just wants some extra time and doesn’t want to be rushed. Nice. Dustin said that Kail said that Dick and Daniele talk all the time now and they don’t leave each other’s sides. Dustin says if Daniele gets HoH, the house will be in an uproar. He says the group wants Zach out but Dick wants Jen out. Dustin doesn’t think there is a group leader. He says every situation has a different leader. Jameka stops him mid-sentence because she is now ready to go to the bathroom. I bet God told her that she was ready.


Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Elton John!

Dustin leaves the HoH and the camera follows him. He goes into the backyard for a little while then goes into the bathroom for a little while to put on some eye cream. Now Dustin is in the kitchen. Dustin tells Eric that Eric looks too red today. Eric informs us that he is in the mood for a firm candy today, something like a Skittles, Starburst, or Twizzler. My IQ just dropped another 20 points. Now we go to the backyard. The B team of cameramen must be working today because there is absolutely no variety. Jessica and Eric are sunning themselves and Jessica tells him that he is rude today. He says he is always nice to her and she agrees. Jen said something but she used the word “like” so many times I had no idea it was a coherent sentence. Sorry. We have Vortex for a bit then all four feeds come back to Nick and Daniele. Nick says if you want something bad enough then you should be willing to give up things for it. Daniele scowls. Feeds switch to the backyard. Jen, Kail, and Jessica are chatting about kids and other random things. Jen checks the whiteness of her boob to measure how dark the rest of her body got today. She adjusts her bikini top accordingly. In most places, I believe you have to pay to see this kind of show.

Jen: “Asians always have the best skin.”

The camerman gets bored with Jen’s strip show and switches to Dustin laying in the HoH bed. Kail hops into bed with him. Dustin assures her that she will be safe this week. She asks him if he’s positive and he says he is sure, no questions asked. Kail is afraid that Amber is going to change her mind and Dustin says no. Dustin tells her if it’s a 4-4 split, he’s the deciding vote and Nick is just too much. Kail says deep down she knows Dustin is right and she will still be around but there’s still the question in her mind. She says Dustin is the only one she can talk to besides Jen. I chuckle to myself because, boy, I bet those are some intelligent conversations. He says he doesn’t mind, he put her in the situation so she can come to him. Kail says she gets nervous when she sees Evel talking to him. Dustin says that Evel doesn’t scheme with Dustin. He tells her that Evel has it out for her and Jen but everyone knows that. Kail says she is looking forward to a fresh start on Thursday night. Dustin tells her she is handling everything really well.


Yes, Dick, these are real.

Evening rolls around and Dustin is still in his HoH robe. Nobody said hygiene was at the top of his list! Some of the hamsters are napping and some are lounging in the backyard. Daniele tells everyone that Zach is following her around again. Daniele thinks Julie is going to talk to Jen this week and ask how it felt to have iced tea poured on her head. <Insert more Jen bashing here> Dick and Zach talk about Julie Chen. Apparently Julie made a comment that Jen takes the “uni” out of “unitard” and it was the “coolest thing she’s ever said.” Zach said that he heard Julie comes up with a lot of her own stuff to say. Dick says yeah right. I’m also waving the BS flag here. She isn’t called the Chenbot for nothing! Dick spends a large portion of the evening name dropping and bragging about how he got a band’s greatest hits CD before it even came out, blah blah blah. Daniele, Jameka, and Jessica are inside talking about what they are going to wear on Thursday. Do I actually pay for this torture?


I know exactly how you feel.

Some time passes and we find Dick and Daniele in the backyard talking. Daniele thinks that Jameka feels bad now about using the veto. Dick says he wants Jen out no matter what next week. He said that Eric thinks she isn’t a threat but Dick wants her out. Daniele says that Nick told her he thinks he’s going home on Thursday. Dick says he is still on the fence. He says he wants Kail out too but it’s a matter of whether or not the group wants to stick together. He wanted the nominations to stay the same. Daniele agrees. Dick says it’s all because of the magic ping pong ball. Nick joins the party. I use the term "party" loosely. Dick says it doesn’t look good to be caught talking with just Nick and Daniele all of the time. Dick says that Jameka is on the fence with her vote this week. Dick tells Nick that he needs to work Jameka and Amber. He wants to see some tears going on. Like it's hard to get Amber to cry. Daniele says that Jessica hates Kail more than anyone in the house. Nick thinks it will be a 4-4 tie with Dustin having to break it. Dick says that Jessica won’t be influenced by anyone, including Eric. He says she won’t go against the group. Daniele keeps interrupting Nick while he’s trying to talk and he tells her to quit cutting him off and learn some f’ing manners. He gets up and leaves. She sits alone and sulks. Uh oh folks, looks like there’s trouble in paradise. Nick goes in the house for a bit then comes back out and tells Daniele he isn’t going to do anything or talk to anyone because he’s an f’ing idiot. Well, at least that’s out in the open now. He throws chlorine in the pool and goes back inside. Daniele is still pouting. Nick comes back outside like three seconds later. That boy is whipped and can’t stay away.

Zach joins Daniele and Nick on the couch. Daniele picks her split ends and doesn’t say a word. Zach pretends people actually want to talk to him and keeps blabbing on about eye crusties or something. Daniele gets up and leaves to which Nick responds, “About f’ing time!” Zach said it was perfect timing because he wants to talk to Nick. Zach asks Nick if it bothers him if he fights for Nick to stay. Nick says no. Come on Zach, like Nick is going to say, “No Zach, please campaign to get me out!” Zach was so serious when he said it. It was like he was asking a superstar for an autograph. Dick comes out for some male bonding time. And by male bonding time, I mean “let’s talk about male genetalia” time.


I still can’t handle the dead animal on Nick’s head

The feeds switch to hamsters in the kitchen. Amber says she can’t wait to be a nurse. Amber is going to be a nurse? She will see a sick child and cry her eyes out. The patients will have to be taking care of her! These clever houseguests decide it would be fun to make up a new game using the keys from the memory wall. The players have to pick a photo and guess what key is under the photo. Watching that was entertaining for about, oh, 30 seconds.

Eric gets called to the DR presumably to get his America’s Tool orders on who to evict. I can’t 100% tell who America wants out. Although we could probably assume it’s going to be Kail, Eric keeps pushing everyone to vote out Nick. Reverse psychology or pure stupidity? The rest of night is pretty much a whirlwind of lying around, making fun of other people, and talking about farting and pooping. What a classy bunch.

Fun Facts:

*Eric dressed as a Furby at a college Halloween party. He claims many girls were trying to hook up with him.
*Dustin thinks that Red Lobster is ghetto.
*Daniele informs us she has menstrual cramps and clotting of the blood. Yuck.
*Daniele told Nick he looks like a child molestor.
*Dustin tells Jameka to breathe and stretch and it will help her poop easier.
*Jessica doesn’t know how to hook up a VCR. That doesn’t surprise me.
*Jen’s biggest regret in life is going to college. I can’t even pretend to understand the way Jen thinks.
*Dustin and Kail really like Eric.
*Jen ran away when she was 15.
*Nick is walking like a penguin today because his ass hurts.
*Zach did #2 in the bathroom and didn’t wash his hands after.
*Dick thinks Jessica looks cute in jeans.
*Dustin took the whipped cream out of the fridge, sprayed it directly into his mouth, and put it back.

As my shift comes to an end, most of the house is still asleep. Nick sits in the hot tub alone. Does America really want Nick out? Is Eric a giant tool? Looks like we’ll have to wait and see!

[Google]

 

[MissThing]

Very funny, Ashley! Thanks for catching me up, and I appreciate the sacrifice you make to do it!

[live4romance]

Wow Ashley you were quick. Great recap. OMG LOL the caption on the pic of Jen is wonderful!!!!! "Her cup runneth over".......Awesome!

[lei]

Hilarious recap, Ashley!

Thank you so much for doing this.

[lildago]

Jameka stops him mid-sentence because she is now ready to go to the bathroom. I bet God told her that she was ready.

I'm sure He did! Awesome recap, Ashley!

[bbhooked]

Great recap Ashley, love your humor.

[kimrs]

Originally Posted by AshleyPSU

Do I actually pay for this torture?

Thank God you do! Because then I would be forced to watch it instead of reading the wonderful recaps. And God loves me too much for me to suffer that way

[MsFroggy]

Jameka says she doesn’t know what’s going on with the banners, but someone is trying to let someone know something about something.

What? Shouldn't she have known what the banner said, what with her direct line to god and all that?

Great job!

[lobeck]

Originally Posted by AshleyPSU

*Nick is walking like a penguin today because his ass hurts.

That's just too easy to comment on...

Great recap!

[katgib13]

Ashley, I thought you were great with your first recap, but I have to tell you....you were just warming up with that one! I laughed through this entire recap! The caption for the pics were awesome! The humor was spot on. Fabulous job! I'm just sorry you had to lose all those IQ points. Go watch something on the Discovery channel...you'll gain them back in no time!

A big thanks to you and all the writers who take the time to transcribe for us! It's appreciated, even if we don't tell you every time.