This recap covers Sunday noon to Monday noon, house time.
It’s noon on Sunday in the Big Brother House, and the Houseguests are taking a day of rest. Who am I kidding? Every day is a day of rest for the HGs. Sure, some days might be less restful, what with the slop, drama, tears and dysfunctional families, but at least they don’t have to get up every morning and crawl into work half asleep.
I'm not going to lie. The nipple rings kind of freak me out.
Dustin and Zach start off the festivities today. It seems that Zach is extremely nervous about which HG Dustin will put up for nomination if Jameka uses the POV to save Jen, (which everyone, both in the House, and in the Live Feed audience knows is going to happen). He tries to convince Dustin to put up Nick, (which Dustin has already decided to do), and then after Dustin won’t reveal who his choice is, he starts campaigning for Evel Dick to go up on the chopping block. Zach tells Dustin that he plays the game “fraternity style,” whatever that means. Dustin replies by telling Zach if he wins $50,000 he will immediately get a new nose, which is as good an answer as any to Zach’s stupid fraternity remark.
Dude... my nose is awesome!
Next up is a rousing game of Which Houseguest…
- Keeps denying (s)he’s had a boob job? My money’s on Nick.
- Is still in an alliance with an ousted HG? They all guess Kail, but Since Kail can’t keep her alliances going in the house while she’s there, I just don’t see how she’d be able to keep it together with someone not in the house.
- Has taken more showers than she has apologized? This is Dick’s question, and the obvious answer is Jen, who matter-of-factly states that he’s right- she doesn’t apologize.
Remember how Amber and Dustin were totally BFF and joined at the hip? Well, not so much any more. Amber is still angry at Dustin for taking prizes in the POV Competition, and she feels like she can’t trust him. Dustin feels like he can’t trust Amber because she’s 9 months out of a speed addiction, and is all kinds of crazy. They have a long discussion about all the drama, and Amber tells him that she’s over it, and she’s ready to be his BF again, just not his BFF. Dustin tells her not to be a bitch next time, and come straight to him if she’s angry at him. Excuse me for a moment… I have to wipe a tear out of my eye after their moving conversation.
Please, please, please never let anyone film me while I'm exercising, because it would look worse than this.
I’m going to be honest here- at the beginning of the season, I really liked Zach. I thought he was interesting, and funny, and had a real chance to do well in this game. Then he started acting like a tool and a gross Neanderthal, and I started to like him less. Then he subjected me to the horrifying sight of him streaking, (and they don’t blur that stuff out on the feeds, folks- I’m talking about Zach in all of his minuscule glory), and now it’s just over. And, I’m glad to see that I’m not alone, and the HGs have had it with Zach as well. Early in the day, Dani and Jessica joked about how Dani would let Jessica have Zach after Nick and Eric were voted out. After Amber and Dustin’s heartwarming chat, the group gets together (sans Zach) to make fun of Zach. Dustin laughs about the conversation he had with Zach in the HOH room, and how Zach actually thinks he’s relevant in the game. Ha! As if.
I don't even like myself.
Enough with the strategy talk and backstabbing… it’s time for Beer Pong! The HGs have been anxiously awaiting the beer and jump right in on the Pong. Eric and Jessica make a bet that the loser has to wear Jen’s red unitard for the rest of the night, and I’m really hoping it’s not Eric because that unitard leaves nothing to the imagination, and I just don’t want to see him in a skin tight red suit that hugs all of his lumps and whatnot. Luckily for me, Eric wins and Jessica’s stuck with the unitard. At least she’ll be somewhat drunk while she’s wearing, it so that should dull the pain a little bit.
This would also be a good time to mention how the you cut the sexual tension between Jessica and Eric with a knife tonight! Wowza. Did America vote on this too, and I just missed it?
I've never seen one quite like that, Eric!
Meanwhile, Dick is out in the yard talking to himself, (his favorite audience) about how ridiculous Dustin and Amber are, how they need to go soon, and how he can’t stand it much longer being stuck in the house with this group of motherf*****s. He joins the Eric and Jessica, and they joke about another possible twist to the game. Very astute Dick says that the twist is Eric, and I have to hand it to Eric- he stays calm and collected, and says “yep,” it’s him. They then think that maybe someone in the house is underage, and that’s another twist. Jessica guesses Dani is underage, and that’s why she doesn’t drink. Dick just laughs and tells them all Dani is only 16.
Oh ha, ha. I hate you all.
The talk turns to Amber and how she is unstable, and she and Dustin need to go. Dick says that Dustin is one of the smartest people in the house, and if they take him out, Amber will just fall apart and self-destruct. Dani joins them because she “can’t sleep,” (read: feels super guilty about throwing Nick to the wolves and can’t bear to be in the same room as him anymore).
Looks like America’s Player is once again working on the task we gave him- using his new catch phrase: “I’d do that for a dollar!” He tells ED that he decided to start saying it because he’s tired of all of Amber’s stupid sayings, and her talking in general, and Dick is immediately behind him and thinks it’s great. Eric even gets Jessica to say it a few times, which is pretty fetch too.
Eventually, most of the hamsters go to bed, except for Dick as usual. He stays up for a while, cleaning, muttering to himself and moving bunnies around. He finally wanders off to bed 2 full hours after the rest of the HGs.
The next morning, the gang wakes up, and Dani still tries her best to avoid Nick, who seems to have no idea that Dustin is going to put him up. He’s very cheerful as he gets ready and rigs the bathroom faucet so that it will spray all over the place. He eats his slop, and then crawls into bed with Daniele who is very happy to see him, I’m sure.
The HGs get ready for the POV Ceremony. For Dustin this means practicing his
monologuespeech. Nick joins him in the HOH room and asks if he knows if Jameka’s using the POV. Dustin replies that he assumes she is because she’s reading her bible. Nick remarks that he wants to win HOH next week, and Dustin laughs in an evil manner and twirls the ends of his handlebar mustache. Okay, that didn’t happen, but wouldn’t it be cool if Dustin had a handlebar mustache? I think he could pull it off.
You know what the bible means!
As Dustin is practicing, Dani barges in because she’s so upset about what is going on with Nick. Not upset enough to try to convince Dustin not to put him up though, so I guess she’s just semi-upset. She tells Dustin she feels really bad because Nick knows something is going on, but she can’t tell him and it’s hard to look him in the eyes knowing that he’s going to be put up during the Veto. She tells Dustin that it would be really hard for him if he had to put Amber up, and he agrees and lets her listen to music, I think so that she’ll shut up.
The HGs get called in for the Veto Ceremony, and I just can’t wait to see Nick’s clueless expression when he realizes Dustin is putting him up for nomination in place of Jen.
Finally, a picture of Kail since we didn't hear too much from her over the last 24 hours- I think she was too busy worrying that everyone in the house hates her and seeking reassurance from Jen.
This is what needy paranoia looks like.