This recap covers Wednesday noon to Thursday noon, house time.
The first few hours of my shift are silent for the most part. No one is talking. Most of the hamsters are sleeping. The rest are sunbathing or staring into space. Finally, Zach follows Dustin inside and I’m excited to hear something. I snap out of my daze, rub my glassy eyes, and sit up to see if it’s important. It isn’t. Zach is telling Dustin that he’s had a pedicure and it hurt like hell. Just as I’m about to zone out again, Zach starts talking game. He thinks Dustin is a smart player and he’s scared of him. He says he’s seriously ready to start playing now and wants to know if Dustin is willing to play with him. This week, he plans to go all out for HOH because he feels the game is going to get ugly. Dustin tells him that he wants to wait and see how tomorrow goes. To get away from him, Dustin says he needs to have a “BM” and then has to explain it to Zach who doesn’t know what that means. I’m going to take a wild guess here that Zach is not an honorary Jensa member.
Dustin tells Daniele that he and Mike are going to talk and she advises him not to confirm or deny anything. Dustin says he’ll be vague because he doesn’t want to lie this early in the game. Mike and Dustin get together in the backyard and The Mike Campaign begins. Mike tells him that he’s played an honest game with integrity and loyalty and is a strong competitor. That was evident in the way he played in the veto competition. Dustin questions why he would remain loyal to the alliance when it was over. Mike replies that it’s a testament of his character and goes beyond the game. He goes on to explain to Dustin that he told Kail to go ahead as the lone vote for Dick last week and that Dick’s assumption that her alliance threw her “under the bus” is false. Yes, that phrase has been resurrected and Mike wants it known that he did not throw Kail under the bus in question. That’s why he played hard for the veto, to prove he’s trustworthy and loyal and honest and all those other words that say he’s a good guy. I don’t know about anyone else but I thought lying was part of the game. This integrity toting bunch makes feed watching a snoozefest! Anyway, Mike says he owed Kail and Jen for not putting him on the block during their weeks as HOH. If he stays and gets HOH, he’ll
be a puppet for the housemake it a democracy. He even suggests a possible point system where houseguests earn points for cleaning house, the number of outbursts they have, their likability, etc. Just for kicks and to see how Dick accepts this point system, I want Mike to stay and become HOH. Then my feeds might just be worth watching.
Kail works on her campaign with her bedmate, Jen. She asks her how she plans to vote. Jen is planning to go with the majority of the house(which should speak volumes to Kail), but no one has told her how the votes are going(which should speak volumes to Jen). Kail goes for the guilt trip by saying it would suck if Jen’s vote was the one that could save her but instead sends her home. Jen isn’t very reassuring as she agrees that it would indeed suck. Then just to give Jen a reason not to vote with Dick and the gang, Kail tattles that Dick thinks Jen put the mustard on her own shirt to get attention. Jen gives a typical “like whatever” response because she would never do that.
Chatting in the backyard with Eric, Mike doesn’t want to campaign against Kail but doesn’t want to go home so he repeats the whole loyalty-is-my-character speech to sell the fact that he didn’t throw Kail under the damn bus. Or something like that. He lays out the ridiculous HOH point system plan for Eric and also restates that he’s flying solo and won’t be a part of another alliance. Eric lies that he isn’t either since he’s not about to reveal his alliance with America. He tells him he needs friends to look out for him and Mike agrees that he’ll make friendships to fall back on. Um, isn’t that kind of like…I don’t know, an alliance? Eric goes on to quiz him about the possibility of a Nick and Zach alliance. Mike isn’t sure but agrees there could be something there. Eric then asks why Mike is on the show. Mike admits he only started watching during season six and basically applied because the challenge was appealing. The biggest obstacle for him would be playing an honest game, unlike the rest of the dishonest manipulators usually chosen by CBS. An honest game is what Mike set out to play…..a stuffy, uneventful, lackluster, honest ho hum game. But hey, there is some consolation. He DOES look good shirtless. King Dick breaks up the campaign speech to take some pictures with his HOH camera and Sir Eric the Brave dares to ask for a few more minutes to finish his talk with Honest Mike. As they continue, Eric pretty much says Dick is a confrontational, egotistical ass and pats himself on the back for having a great personality and sense of humor. He wants Mike to know that not everyone was behind Dick and what’s happened in the house this week. Mike nods in agreement as Eric throws King Dick under that bus.
Dick has his HOH camera and he has everyone posing for various funny pictures. Let me add that most are suggestive and racy. His comments are as crude as usual and if he had his way, most of the pictures would be too X-rated for the HOH blog. Amber wants to pose for a serious picture with him, not a funny one, and Dick goes off on her. He’s the HOH, he wants the pictures his way, and then points out that she has no business getting in the middle of his business where Danielle is concerned. Amber tries to explain but naturally, Dick doesn’t listen. She runs to Dustin to rehash the whole thing. She says that Dick is just scared of her because everyone loves her so much and she can get them to vote him out when he’s on the block. Looks like Amber might throw Dick under the bus too if he isn’t careful.
Once again, we’re hot on Mike’s campaign trail as he repeats the whole integrity spiel for the third time to Daniele. Dick keeps interrupting--big surprise, I know--but he manages to get most of his speech in before BB announces a lockdown. Meanwhile Zach has Nick cornered in the workout room trying to talk strategy. Poor Zach just doesn’t get it. They speculate about who will go up next. Nick plays dumb(which isn’t too hard) and says he doesn’t know anything.
Kail grabs Eric and asks him to keep her as a future pawn to get rid of Zach. Eric once again points out that the house was not united behind Dick when he made his decisions and a lot of people were bothered by his power trip. Concurrently, Zach now has Mike in the workout room. He’s like a gnat, this guy. He goes on about how he doesn’t respect Kail and she sold everyone out by the way she handled things. He says something about wanting HOH so he can sleep in the bed and somewhere in all his babble, I think he promised Mike his vote. Mike, of course, reiterates that he did not throw Kail under the bus.
America’s Player has his marching orders and I’ve got to give him mad props for doing a hell of a job. He’s pitching a million and one reasons why they should get rid of Kail, all the while appearing to be on the fence. He presents a case that Kail is a more aggressive player who threw her alliance …all together now…under the bus and is more engrossed in the game. Mike, on the other hand, is predictable and loyal and blah, blah, blah. Jameka seems to be siding more with Eric. Dustin feels Mike is more of a threat to him and Kail is “putty in his hands.”
The conversation turns to Nick and his recent tantrums. Jameka fills them all in on her earlier blow up with Nick in the kitchen. She was making hamburgers and asked everyone if they wanted one but unintentionally left out Nick. So he starts making the chicken that they were saving for dinner. When she told him that, he got defensive. A few minutes later, she noticed he’d used her burger spatula for his chicken and was naturally worried about cross contamination. When she mentioned it to Nick, he went off and angrily told her to “get off his f***ing ass.” They go off on the Nick and Zach tangent for a while. Some think Zach should be the next to go. Some think it should be Nick. I just want to get back to Kail and Mike. When they finally get back to the week at hand, Eric seems to be convincing them. However, a quick poll reveals that the majority wants to vote out Mike. Daniele brings up Kail’s change of attitude. She had given up and was resigned to going home but now seems to think she has a chance to stay. They try to figure out who blabbed to her. The speculation is maybe Nick tipped her off but both Jameka and Dustin confess to making “it ain’t over til it’s over” comments. They go around and around and repeat the same arguments and I feel like I‘ve been thrown under the bus for having to listen to these people talk over each other, repeat themselves, and decide nothing.
Some Random “weirdisms” of Zach
- Zach tries to interpret his dumb dream. He was flying, changed planes, and the pilot tells them not to worry. The plane tailspins and Zach laughs. It reminds him of another dream where the plane flies across a house and breaks in half. I’m thinking the Department of Homeland Security should be watching out for Zach.
- Zach’s surprised they haven’t had a barbeque in their underwear. Where did they find this freak?
- Zach tells Nick that he feels ugly and not cool anymore because no one wants to talk to him and it must be because they saw his “weenie.” That’s cocktail weenie, Zach, cocktail weenie. Accept the bitter truth.
- Zach walked around all morning yanking out his eyebrows.
- Zach claims to have played racquetball with Alfonso Ribeiro.
Nick and Daniele have a lover’s spat in the storage room. He wants to talk to her about her vote and gets pissed when she stares up at the ceiling. Why it bothers him now when she does that to him all the time, I don’t know. But she tells him he’s rude and he leaves to work out his agression by lifting weights and beating the hell out of the tether ball. Zach hangs around and I laugh out loud as he says he wants them to be the next Will and Boogie. I’m sure that Will and Boogie are somewhere laughing their asses off at that one too.
Dick and Amber get into another tiff while doing the dishes. He comments that women who love their dogs as much as they would love a baby are full of it. Amber says that she loves her dog as much as she loves her daughter and Dick finds that strange. She gets mad at his opinion and he tells her not to take it so personally which makes her even madder. I’ve got to go with Dick on this one but he better watch his back where Amber is concerned. That girl is a loose cannon. Later on in the hammock, she tells Jameka that it’s like God is with her and Jameka is Him. Are we sure this girl didn’t smuggle drugs into the house? God-fearing Jameka says she’s more like an angel.
My feeds were a little wonky all night and I do believe I swore more than Dick. Add to that Skippy’s constant jumping around from room to room to the backyard and I have to take an Exedrin break. I return to Dick and Kail in the HOH. He’s tooting his own horn as usual about how everyone trusts him and how great his reign as HOH has been. He keeps asking Kail why he should keep her in the house and all she can come up with is that she doesn’t want to win another HOH. She only wants to be there to have fun and vote. Fast forward to the backyard a little while later and out of nowhere Dick stands and raises his glass to Kail. He says “And Kail, I'm glad you're going home tomorrow.” Jessica and Eric agree that it was rude. Dick is obviously trying to rattle Kail. They later have a big blow up. Dick, who is always joking about hooking Jessica up with his son, tells her to look at the camera and say hi to Vincent. She does and then Kail pipes up that he might be a cheater like Dick. He’s offended and says by that logic, her daughter must be a backstabber. Kail apologizes but Dick relives it at least a half dozen times with anyone willing to listen.
Dick and the gang have an early morning meeting in the HOH room to make the final decision. They talk in circles about who to put up next week. It sounds like Nick is their target but Zach and Kail’s names are in the mix too. By nomination day, I’m certain they’ll change their minds again. I think they’ve forgotten that Nick, Zach, or Kail could possibly win HOH. Now for the business at hand…they plan to vote out Mike but lead Kail to believe she’s the one going home. This way she’ll be surprised and too rattled to win HOH.
Eric and Dick meet in the backyard for more strategy talk. They conclude that Nick is definitely their next target. They realize that Dustin is the one that leaked information to Kail. They know that Jessica isn’t as clueless as she pretends to be and that Zach is a pervert with a “half-inch penis.”
Dick tells Daniele that Eric told the group that she tells Nick everything. She denies it but Dick points out something specific that Eric overheard and tells her that perception is everything. The group feels she can't be trusted. He tells her they want Nick out and she doesn't understand why. She says she won't be the one who puts him up.
As my shift comes to a close, Eric points out that the guys are all cleaning while the girls sleep or primp. What are you trying to say, you little weasel? That cleaning is a woman’s work? The Big Brother theme song is pumping through the house and Nick beatboxes and hums along. He dances through the kitchen doing the robot and the Carlton and even raps a little after saying all you need to do is throw a “brass monkey” in here or there. I can’t help myself and sing along…“brass monkey, that funky monkey.”
PM me if you know the first Beastie Boys hit.