*This is a recap of events from noon Saturday to noon Sunday*
After a good hour or so of the blue vortex, the feeds finally return and we learn who the winner of the POV is: it’s...(insert dramatic music here)....Jen! Yep, the house hoochie has won the veto and saved her rather ample ass from eviction. Because you know she’s going to use it. Call her what you like: vapid, vacuous, or just downright stupid, but not even Jen is as dumb as Marcellas was.
And that means someone else is going up on the chopping block next to Kail. The only one of Kail’s minions that still seems even remotely aligned with her is Mike, and it sounds like he’s the one to be nominated from listening to Dick and Nick. Dick thinks Mike is the stronger one, and that they won’t have many shots at getting Mike out of the house. I thought Dick was hellbent on booting nemesis Kail, but it looks like he’s changed his mind. They rip on Mike for a while, talking about his lack of a sense of humor (hey, he went on a “date” with Amber, didn’t he?) and how Mike doesn’t mingle and play nice with the other kids. In another room, Amber is busy telling Kail how she hates her in the game, but not in real life. Like she knows Kail in real life. Moron. Kail tells her how she can’t be all fake, she’s not going to campaign, she’s looking forward to going home to her family, and I’m getting a B.S. overdose and go to another feed.
I bet you wish you were my water bottle, huh, Nick? Nick? Hello?!
Stuff you might or might not care about:
- Nick said that Mike is the "most unfunniest person". No, that's not a real word.
- Zach is having second thoughts about streaking last night. Too late, man, your junk is all over the internet.
- Dick went commando under his outfit in the veto comp and says it was hot and sweaty. All together, now....eww!
- Dick said that Jen turned down half a million to appear in Playboy.
- Jen doesn’t want to win America’s Choice. I don’t think that’s a problem, Jen.
- Kail’s never seen guys as buff as the ones in the house. She says that guys from her part of Oregon are all redneck loggers in flannel.
- Nick promised to give Zach 50K if Nick won. Nick lied, and thinks Zach is a douche for believing him.
- Amber gave the cameras a full-frontal flash. No word yet on how many people have been blinded.
- Dick wants to fix up his son with Jessica after the show.
- Dustin doesn’t know where his mom lives.
Amber and Dustin, who have become magically attached at the freakin’ hip, whisper in the storage room about Dick. Apparently Dustin is peeved with Dick, who called Dustin out after the veto comp in front of everyone and demanded that he talk game. “His ego is over the top!” says Dustin. The siamese twins go find Kail and commiserate with her. Kail whines that everyone is intimidated by Dick and his blustering, but Dustin denies this. Dustin, I really like you. Please find better company to hang out with before your reputation is ruined.
No, really. I've only had three. Maybe four...teen beers.
All that hand-wringing and whining wears the hamsters out, so they spend a good part of the afternoon doing what they do best: nothing. Sleeping, sunning, lounging around. King Dick does take the time to rail on Kail some more in the backyard, and tells Nick and Dustin they must all agree to send Mike home. Dustin is fine with that as long as Zach is next, but tells Dick that he’ll lose cool points in the house if he boots Mike after spouting off about how Kail had to go all week. Dick insists that Mike be next, he’s a stronger player, Kail’s got nothing now, yadda yadda.
Kail and Mike discuss something that happened during the veto comp - sounds like Dick was calling Mike out on being part of the Mrs. Robinson alliance in front of everyone. Mike doesn’t seem bothered, and knew that he’d be put up if he didn’t win veto. Does anything bother Mike? They both want to try and convince Dick that Zach would be the better choice. Dick, Daniele, and Eric discuss plans elsewhere. Dick is still harping on how Mike has to go, while Eric wants to wait until Wednesday and see how Kail and Mike act on the block, then make a decision. It’s really because he has to wait until we tell him how to vote. Hee. All three talk about how Dustin is coming out of his shell and becoming a different person now that Gonorrhea Joe is gone. Yeah, he's grown a 120 pound hemorrhoid named Amber that won't go away.
That's enough, Kail. Enough about Dick. Get out of the hammock...there you go.
I just don't know why women run away from me.
The next few hours are more of the same old, same old. Kail wants Zach up instead of Mike because he’s a two-faced creepo. She’s not too keen on Nick, either, for bailing on their alliance to be with Daniele. Repeat this same conversation about 1200 times. Dick wants Mike gone because he’s got game. Repeat this conversation about 1200 times. Amber’s mad that nobody’s asking her opinion. Dustin still wants Zach gone, and thinks that Dick is getting paranoid. Eric tells Amber that Dick is becoming erratic, and to let him put the target on his own back. I have no idea what Jameka thinks, because she’s hiding on me again.
Time for more kissy-face with Nick and Daniele in the hammock. Well, not so much. Daniele is still a bit pissed over Kail’s attempts at making her doubt Nick’s sincerity, and it seems like some of it seeped into ther head. Nick asks Daniele if she’d go out with him after they leave the house, and Dani replies that she didn’t know - the way people act in the house may be different than they are outside the house. Nick is not pleased. I can tell because his cheesy porn-stache droops ever so slightly. He rebounds, telling her that she’ll be all over him at the wrap party. No, that’ll be her boyfriend all over you at the wrap party, bud.
It’s dinnertime, it’s uneventful, and I think they had chicken, if anyone cares. It may have been fish. Either way, there is much chowing down since everyone gets to eat now. Dick and Jen do dishes afterwards, and he bashes Kail and brings up how Kail threw Jen under the bus for the eleventy millionth time. And hey, there’s Jameka! She’s cleaning the HoH bath tub. Why, I don’t know. She’s never been in it to my knowledge. She later joins Dustin for a hammock date, where Dustin is bitching about being told what to do by Dick. Kail comes up to them to cry about her latest tiff with Dick. They both tell her to not worry about him. Kail leaves, Jameka gets chewed by BB about her mic and goes to get another as Dick walks up to bitch about Kail. Obsessed much, you two? Geez, you'd think Dick and Kail had a crush on each other or something. Jameka returns and Dustin politely asks Dick to get lost because he was talking to Jameka first. Burn!
Wow, I really can cry enough to fill the tub!
The night drags on, and we learn that Jameka and Amber have gas. Thought you might want to know that. Jameka, Dustin, Daniele, Dick, Eric, Nick, Jessica and Jen sit around and have a late-night bull session, discussing bodily functions and where people will sleep. I'll spare you the poop talk. They all laugh at Zach’s expense, calling him a molester and something about his crush on Jessica and her um, dirty underthings. Apparently Zach is one sick puppy. A spiky-haired, bulbous-nosed, pot-bellied puppy. Jameka snarks on Zach’s showing of his manhood the night before, saying that she’s seen babies more well-endowed than he is. Ouch.
After much discussion and dissing of Zach’s wenis, the group wanders off. Dick and Jessica play golf, and I hear her scream “f***!” for the first time after she whiffs a shot. It’s like Minnie Mouse cussing. Hilarious. Daniele and Nick head for the bedroom and do some more whispering under the covers, and as usual, I can’t make out a damn thing they’re saying. But wait - what is this? Slurping sounds? Hey, they’re actually kissing! There goes the boyfriend. I guess Daniele wasn't so mad after all. Or she just couldn't resist the 'stache.
Hamsters go to sleep, morning arrives, and still not much to report. After coffee, Kail regales Dustin and Mike with tales from her childhood, such as how she almost fell from a moving car and how she almost “drownded” in a swimming pool but her cap saved her. She owns a whole town but doesn't know that drownded isn't a word? Dustin tells a story in return of how he was terrified of being abducted by aliens at age nine. He was alone at his dad’s house taking a shower when he heard a beeping noise. Thinking the aliens were coming to get him, he ran naked and screaming through a neighbor’s backyard barbeque, and kept running until he reached his mom’s house and his uncle calmed him down. And on that lovely mental image, my shift ends.
Thanks to Jewelsy, Snapit, and MFWalkoff for the screencaps!