*This recap covers from noon Thursday to noon Friday BB time*
Nearly Headless Nick floats through the BB house.
Technically that is a headless Nick instead of "nearly" and it's my shout-out to the new Harry Potter book being released tomorrow. Which had BETTER be on my doorstep bright and early or Amazon will have hell to pay! What? You don't give a rat's behind about my book? FINE! On with the recap....
As my shift starts Joe is scrambling around trying to secure votes. It's useless, dude. You're toast. Kail gets all frantic trying to help Joe, and freaks out when she sees Nick and Zach TALKING! How dare they! The feeds are all wonky for the afternoon, with lots of vortex, and audio not matching the video. The houseguests primp, Nick bites the heck out of his nails, and when we come back from the live show there's a new sheriff in town...
"My first order of business will be to install this in the HOH room as a stripper pole."
Dick is thanking everyone as a group for voting for him to stay. Johnny Depp, Keith Richards, the local barkeeps union 404, Curly's House of Tattoos & Pain, etc. He's bouncing around in his glory, all rainbows, kittens and sunshine, then he says "Vindication, motherf***ker!" He is ever so eloquent. On the flipside, Kail looks like she might barf, or pass out, or both. She's trying to hard to keep up a brave face, but it's got "doom" written all over it. Dick told her if she had of stuck with their deal she wouldn't be "sh***ing her pants right now." Dick: 1, Kail's pants: 0.
Kail finds Mike and freaks out on him about him voting to keep Dick. She says she would have at least appreciated a heads-up. Mike tries to not really say anything, mumbling to himself, telling her that he'll talk to her about it later, but she's all heated up and ready to rant! She thinks that they should "call Nick out" to Dick and Danielle, how he's been in their alliance, as if no one knows about their super-secret alliance of...one? Kail just doesn't get it that she's pretty much alone. You'd think the 9-1 vote would have given her a clue.
Finally the shame of having aligned with Kail sinks into Mike's brain.
Dick gets his HOH room, which has not changed decor. He gets a Ramones CD, Cocoa-Pebbles, special NYC chocolate syrup, Ho-Hos, ice cream, and plenty of pics of himself to show off, as well as some of Daniele and his son Vincent. He also got a letter from his mom, and some Guinness. Everyone oohs and aahs, and Kail still looks like she might barf. Or throw herself across the HOH bed and offer her body up as payment to not put her on the block. Kail and some of the others leave, and Dick tells the remaining HOH guests that they all have a free pass this week, and that he hopes they will all vote Kail out. They all agree (to his face) and then everyone gets excited because it's DINNER TIME!
Dinner time consists of pasta and pizza. The slop girls each so much that they are about to burst, then eat some more. Then they feel sick, then they eat some more. Jen has either been relieved of having to wear the red unitard, yet not allowed to wear clothes yet, or she's just really tacky, as she is eating dinner in a white towel. More on THAT later...
Dick calmly wait for Kail's threats of frogs and locusts to rain down on him.
No Kail, it's just the middle finger.
After dinner, Kail finds Daniele and tries to verify that Dick is putting up her and Jen. Daniele doesn't confirm, and then Kail asks her to ask Dick to please not blast her when he nominates her. Daniele agrees to mention that. Kail then tracks down poor befuddled Mike again, and starts dogging Zach, saying that ihe wanted a 2-person alliance with her, and she wouldn't agree to it. She seems to think if she were nominated beside Zach, she'd stand a chance of remaining in the house. Now she wants to "call out" Nick AND Zach to Dick. Mike eyes glaze over, and I think I see blood trickling out of his ears. Kail wants to go ask Dustin's advice and wants Mike to go with her, but Mike smartly gets the heck away from her.
Amber and Dustin are next on Kail's list, where she tells them that two of her alliance defected, but she doesn't actually name them. (Although the whole house is aware of her "alliance".) She puts up four fingers so they have a nice visual reminder of the sheer size of her alliance. She goes on and on about how her alliance didn't back her, and how there was even a handshake! Things are getting crazy now, a handshake? What's next in this Big Brother house of amazement, a knowing wink? Amber umm-hmmms, and Dustin nods once in a while, and finally they are free of the ball of nerves that is Kail.
Amber skips off and tells Nick everything that Kail said, and also tells him that she (Amber) is playing Jen, just telling her whatever to be friendly and get information. Kail runs back to Mike, and really, it's a wonder that someone, anyone, doesn't just slap her to knock some sense into her. She cannot get it through her head that her alliance is finished. She still wants to go "out" Nick to Dick, and somehow thinks this will save her. Poor deluded Kail.
It's MIDNIGHT! And you know what that means? Jameka's birthday, that's what! Daniele and Eric write "Happy Birthday Jameka" in body or gel paint on the dining room table, while Jessica heats up a bowl of slop and puts a strawberry in it. Jameka thinks it's fun, and likes that they did that for her. She doesn't eat her slop present.
Jen thinks flashing her hoo-hah will keep her off the block.
Meanwhile, Jen has been in the hot tub, in her towel, and apparently nothing else. She managed to flash all of her goodies to Daniele, who made sure to tell everyone. I have to wonder if Jen will have a job as a nanny when this is over. Jen's hoo-hah gets as little attention as the rest of her does, so let's move on to something else...
Back to the kitchen, and Jessica has told Eric that if he can lick the word "Jameka" off of the dining room table, she will lick some of the paint or something off of Eric. He does, and she then licks stuff off of his nipples, and this is all disgusting, so enough about THAT.
More Kail fallout, Dustin tells Nick everything that Kail said, Nick confirms the former alliance, Dick joins them. Elsewhere Mike is asking Kail if she told Dustin to keep things quiet. Ha! Finally Kail makes her way to Dick, and tries to say she was played by her alliance, but he flat out tells her to win POV or she's going home. The whole Kail thing is just repeat, repeat, repeat, so I'll leave it at that.
It's obvious who Dick will probably nominate...
The nomination bed.
The hamsters stay up very late, and Dick gives the slop girls his HOH bed. He tells Daniele to be careful of Nick, so perhaps a teeny seed of Kail's speech made it into his head. The next morning, Jen is again in her unitard, so apparently she has a few more days to serve. Kail still is whining about her failed alliance. Daniele confront's Nick's loyalty, and he gets bent out of shape. They hug it out, and he looks like he might die if he doesn't kiss her soon. Daniele tells Dick to watch out what he says to everyone in "their" group, as they all tell each other everything. They wait around for the food competition to start, and as the vortex appears, my shift ends.
She did not read the safety instructions that stated "Do not use while sleeping".
Want to know who has been nominated? Click here. Want to send me some NYC chocolate syrup? Click here.