*This is a recap of events from noon Monday to noon Tuesday*
The day after the veto meeting, and the fallout begins. It doesn’t take long for Joe to go into full save-my-ass mode after being nominated by Jen. He tells Daniele that he’s not upset with her for using it to save herself – Joe wouldn’t want her to be the Marci of the house. Well, she does have Marci’s pouty act down to a tee. Joe forgives her, sighs that “it is what it is” and walks off. I think that’s the catch phrase of the new season. It’s better than “he threw me under the bus,” I suppose.
- Dick can’t believe that nobody has tried to assassinate the current president.
- The Mrs. Robinson alliance still thinks they’re a secret. They’re not.
- Dick talks to the cameras just for us, because he used to hate it when he watched feeds and everyone was too quiet.
- Dustin says he’ll just stare blankly into the camera for Joe’s goodbye message, because he said goodbye a year ago.
- Dick used to date Jerri from Survivor, and he thinks Erika is hot. I think Dick needs an eye exam.
- Zach has a three minute rule with Daniele. That’s as long as he can talk to her at one time.
- Jen is happy that a smoker will be voted out this week.
Daniele sits outside with Kail as the latter butters her up. Kail tells her what a trooper she is for being on slop for two weeks, and having to live with her dad and all. Kail’s amazed that Daniele is so well-adjusted considering her terrible, terrible childhood. A tad melodramatic, I think. Anyhow, Daniele talks about how she really wants Dick voted out and that she doesn’t want to be like him. Is she for real, or is it an act for Kail? We’ll see. Joe comes running up, wanting to talk to Kail privately. Daniele takes her pity party elsewhere.
Trashy, they name is Jen.
Joe takes his turn to whine to the house mom, complaining that he doesn’t understand why Jen thinks he’s such a negative influence. Really, Joe? Come on. He asks if there’s anything specific that he’s done to piss people off, but Kail is probably overwhelmed by the laundry list of stupid things he’s done (gonorrhea, anyone?) that she just tells him she doesn’t know why Jen made the decision. He hugs her and goes on his not-so-merry way.
Kail then goes to the HoH room to plot with Mike. Does she think she owns this room now, or what? Shades of Maggie, indeed. Kail wants Dick gone, thinking that Joe won’t go after them. She’s sure that Dick would get rid of her, but Mike says he heard otherwise. Mike doesn’t really seem to care which person goes, since he doesn’t trust either one, but Kail is set on Dick. She thinks she can talk Zach and Eric into voting him out. She also thinks she can talk Daniele into voting for her dad, and now I know she’s lost it. Dick is a sure vote for Daniele, and Daniele knows this. Spiderwoman/Jen enters her lair, and tells the others that she had warned Joe of his impending doom before she nominated him. I think she wants a pat on the back for this. Even she wants Joe gone, but Kail insists that Dick must go. Jen says it’s your vote – but at least with Dick around you know what you’re getting. Jen also says that Joe is too manipulative, and she should know because she used to be like that. Used to?
It's official. Amber has finally talked herself to death.
Jen plays hide the cucumber.
Joe is still outside begging to stay, and Jameka smacks him down, saying that he can’t be pestering people. Amber tells him that he won’t get her vote because he was too flip-floppy last week, then he accuses her of campaigning against him to Jen. She denies it, he whines some more, then she admits that she did tell Jen to put him up instead of Nick. This girl just doesn’t know when to shut it, does she? On and on she goes with the verbal diarrhea, telling Joe that Dick gets her vote because he’s been more consistent and supportive and blah blah blah, until Joe goes away, probably to drown himself in the pool to get away from the sound of her voice.
Soaking in the hot tub are Daniele and Nick, and I can’t make out a damn thing they’re saying over all the bubbles. From what I can hear, it’s the same old thing: Nick makes goo-goo eyes and whispers in her ear, Daniele looks disinterested and aloof until he starts to back off, then she’ll throw him a little smile and he starts all over again. Ugh.
The hamsters spend their afternoon tanning and snoozing as usual, with Joe pouncing on anyone unfortunate enough to come his way. I’ll give him this, at least he’s not rolling over and giving up. He still doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of staying, but anyway. Jessica and Eric yap on the hammock about Joe - Jessica likes Joe, but thinks that he would “throw her under the bus” to save his own butt. There’s that stupid phrase again. Dick walks over and plops himself down right in the middle of their conversation. He’s afraid that Joe will blab too much info before he goes, and Eric agrees:
Eric: “Joe is going to be going out with jazz hands and making a show the whole way.”
Kail finally corners Dick after wigging out about it all afternoon - she wants to know if he’ll keep his promise to not put her up if he wins HoH. Dick told her that he’s not sure he can trust her not to put him up, and she replies that she only talked about putting him up because she heard he was going to put her up. They talk in circles some more, and Dick tells her straight up that he knows she’s aligned with Jen, Mike, and Zach. Kail plays dumb, but Dick says that she can act dumb all she wants, it’s the truth. After much running of the mouths, Dick finally tells Kail that he will keep his word, just this once.
Amber, enough with the enema story, please!
BB needs to pass out some booze, and fast. It’s turned into a competition to see who can put me to sleep the fastest, with Zach and Amber in the lead. She tells her drug story again, and Zach talks about hallucinating on an overdose of Mountain Dew during a non-stop 29 hour drive. Amber goes back to her disgusting hospital enema stories. Jameka and Kail share some uncomfortable silence in the kitchen. Nick and Jen do dishes. Awesome stuff.
Finally, some beer arrives. Just when Nick and his big mouth are telling Amber all about how he’s a part of the Mrs. Robinson alliance (dumbass!), Zach brings Nick a beer. After he leaves, Nick calls him a douchebag. I thought a simple "thank you" would suffice, but hey. Nick doesn’t have a lot of room to talk, since he’s currently telling the biggest mouth in the house all his secrets. He continues to tell her that he wants someone that needs it to win the money, like Amber or Jameka. He doesn’t need it himself, because his grandmother left him a lot of money and he has a good life. I can’t tell if he’s full of it or if he’s being for real. But he needs to shut up.
Joe’s back to begging, and this time it’s Dustin’s turn. Dustin refuses to give Joe his vote because of the way he’s acted. Joe’s temper starts to flare, and he begins cussing, saying that Dustin will regret this for years to come. Joe then stomps off to tell Nick, who isn’t interested, then Jessica, who will listen to anything. Someone give Joe a big old cup of shut the hell up, please.
Jen finds a new way to show her ass.
What? This IS my happy face!
Nick joins Daniele in the darkened bedroom, and this time he doesn’t take his usual position on the floor. The blankets are pulled up over their heads, I swear I hear kissing, and there’s a lot of movement under there. Nick has mentioned sneaking food to the bony Daniele, so maybe he snuck a big bratwurst under the covers for her to eat. Yeah, that’s it. *ahem*
The night’s outdoors conversation degrades as it usually does into talk of poop, masturbation, vomit, shaving, and the Dirty Sanchez, which had to be explained to Jessica. Oh, and Joe inadvertently flashed Jessica his stuff in the shower. I’m sure she was less than impressed. The bored hamsters begin torturing the topiary bunnies once again, Joe makes fart noises with his hand, and they discuss scaring Jameka out of the shower by throwing in some fake chocolate poop. This is as good as it gets tonight, folks. Dick and Daniele do get some alone time later on, and chat about strategy for a while. Before she leaves, he looks at her and says “Hey, I do love you very much.” She just looks back and mumbles something. Dick mutters to himself and smokes a cigarette. Poor guy, he is trying.
Not much goes on in the morning hours, except everyone’s favorite game of “If I Were HoH,” with endless discussions of who would put who up. Snore. Jen succeeds in twisting her suit up into some kind of mess that allows her buttcheeks to hang out, and she’s quite proud of herself, strutting around the backyard. The compliments don’t come flying her way, and Dick complains to the camera inside about it. And that's a wrap for my shift!
For only fifty cents a day, you can help feed this starving girl...
Thanks to AshleyPSU, Snapit, and orangeday for the terrific screencaps!