*This recap covers events from noon Saturday to noon Sunday*
“I can’t wait to feel the bones of your throat crushing between my fingers. I ****ing hate you.”
I’ll give you three guesses as to who said that, and the first two don’t count. That’s right - it was our fearless Dick. And the object of his venom was Jen the Jenius yet again. Apparently the new HoH wanted her nominations of Dick and Daniele to stand, so she went around threatening the Veto players. She told them that if they won, not to use it, and if they dared use it against the queen’s wishes, she’d go after someone close to them. This upset Amber so much (and what doesn’t upset Amber) that she went bawling into the storage room, asking for her anxiety meds. Nick and Dick were trying to comfort her, when in sauntered Jen. Dick immediately ripped her a new one, telling her how nobody likes her, she’ll be gone in a couple of weeks anyhow, she’s playing stupidly, etc. Throw in about twenty f-bombs and you get the idea. Jen wanders out of the room with a smirk on her face.
Daniele, I...I don't know what's wrong. This never happens when I'm with Joe.
Over in the kitchen, a different set of hamsters are fighting. Zach, who is quickly becoming the house creep, says that Amber is too emotional. Not so, snaps Jameka - she’s empathetic, not emotional. Zach probably needs a dictionary for that word, so he changes the subject and snaps back at Jameka that it’s about time she spoke to him. Joe and his nipples jump in, telling Zach that comments like those are why everyone hates him. Jameka stomps off, and Joe tells Zach to go hide in the HoH like he usually does. Burn!
Still pissy, Joe stomps off to the HoH room and announces to Jen that everyone is refusing to play in the veto comp, so it’ll just be Jen and her two nominees playing. Jen says it’s mandatory that they play, but Joe insists that they’ll throw it anyway. This must not have gone over too well with Big Brother, because we go to the blue vortex soon after this, probably so they can lay the smackdown on some people and remind them of the rules.
One, two, uh...four. Wait, where was I?
If Amber doesn't shut up I'll choke myself. I will!
The veto comp plays out shortly after all this drama, and we return to find that Daniele has won veto. Again. Did you hear that? That was the sound of Jen’s plan crashing and burning. She like, really wanted the other hot girl out of the house so Nick would pay attention to her and only her. No strategy at all, just pure jealousy.
Not sure what the comp was all about (something about a chessboard and throwing stuff?), but Dick won a plasma tv, Amber had to pick someone to be chained to (she chose Kail), Jen has to wear a red catsuit, and Joe won a slop pass. Everyone sits around the kitchen, discussing the event, and Jen makes an appearance in her red bodysuit looking like Santa’s ho. At least she has the figure to pull it off, I’d hate to see Eric in that thing all week. My eyes!
And...let the ass kissing begin! Now that Jen has to choose another hamster for eviction, everyone has suddenly become her friend. Except Daniele, who is safe, and Dick, who just doesn’t give a rip. Zach begins campaigning to get rid of Joe. Joe, for his part, does some major sucking up to Jen. He wants Zach to go. Even she doesn’t buy it, which doesn’t say much for Joe’s gameplay.
This sucks. I can't let any body parts hang out in this thing.
- Dick was once busted for pot, and only paid a $75 fine.
- Nick tells Daniele that he wants to make love to her, and she told him to shut up.
- Kail thinks Dustin could be made to switch teams by going to a sexual re-orientation camp. Really.
- Joe still gets a weekly allowance from his parents. He’s 23.
- BB told the houseguests what to wear and how to do their hair for their official pictures.
Late afternoon, and Dick and Jen are at it again. “Why the **** are you even here? Who do you think you’ll win against? Oh, that’s right, you want second place.” Jen replies that she just wanted the experience and to meet people. Yeah, she just wanted to meet new people so she could talk about herself ad nauseum. Dick tells her that she f-ed up the whole game, and she just sits there with that blank look on her face that she’s perfected. He vows to do anything possible to screw her game up. I keep hoping she’ll crack like April did after Howie’s Busto rant, but I’m disappointed. Maybe he should tell Jen she’s got bags under her eyes instead of ripping her gameplay.
Dick eventually walks off, having spent his allocation of f-words for the afternoon, and we’re left with a bunch of hamsters lazing around the backyard. Poor Kail, who is chained to Amber, is forced to listen to her prattle on endlessly. I fully expect her to chew off one of her hands to escape before their time is up. Jen and Jessica discuss who Jen should put up, Dick name-drops some more to Kail and Amber, and Mike cleans the kitchen. Zach tells Dustin that he likes his hair today, and wants to know what product he used. “Sweat and grease” is Dustin’s sarcastic reply. Zach asks if that’s an actual product, and I bang my head on the keyboard.
Later on, Dick and Nick bond in the hot tub. Dick asks how it’s going with Daniele, and tells Nick not to worry about her boyfriend too much. Bet the boyfriend is loving this. From what I've read, he and Daniele live together. Dick and Nick do some male bonding while Kail and Amber debate on how to take a shower whilst tied together. But first, Amber will have to unwrap her legs from around Dustin’s body. Seriously, does she just not get that he’s gay? Gay! Get over it, woman. The houseguests are laughing at you. So are we.
If ever a face cried out for makeup, this would be the one.
Not a whole lot to report from the evening, just a lot of general chit-chat and a little strategizing. Jen spends a lot of time on the hammock with Zach, since she can’t put on one of her hoochie-wear bikinis and go hot tubbing. She’s sad because she really wanted Daniele to go. And she’s sad that she can’t run around with her buttcheeks hanging out because of that unitard. She later goes upstairs to the HoH room to find Mike listening to her music. Help yourself, there, Mike. He tries to get some info about who she might put up as a replacement for Daniele, but Jen’s not sure. She says the house wants Joe or Amber, and she wants Joe or Nick. Nick?! Wow, she must really be pissed at him. Nah, they think that he’s the only one that has the votes to stay over Dick. And Joe, they really want gone. He has his hands in too many cookie jars, and everyone knows it. Amber offers to go on the block against Dick because she knows she has the votes, too. Don’t be so sure, Amber.
Does anyone else get annoyed when the cameraman switches off an interesting, relevant conversation, only to make us listen to something like Jessica discussing lipgloss or Nick and Daniele’s whispered sweet nothings? Way to go, Skippy. I’d much rather listen to another one of Amber’s disgusting stories than that important strategy conversation being held elsewhere. Yep. Just throwing that out there.
Late night, and Jen is in the hammock with our plaything Eric, talking about wanting Nick gone. I’m confused. I thought earlier she wanted to put him up to get Dick out, and now...I don’t know. I’m not sure if she’s playing Eric, or she’s confused. Jen repeats the same spiel to Amber and Kail after this, so maybe she’s made up her mind. Until an hour later, when she announces that she now wants Dick out. I give up. She’s giving me a headache. I suppose we won't know for sure until she actually does it.
Almost 4 am, and everyone’s in bed except for Dick and Eric. They talk a bit about strategy, nothing new though. Dick likes repeating himself. The conversation wanders and moronic Eric says that he thought menstruating women were supposed to stay out of pools, and that's my cue to cut this sucker off. Eric thankfully goes away, leaving Dick to do laundry and mutter to himself (and us). I leave you with this disturbing image of Nick and Joe:
I thought for sure Joe would have been a bottom.
Thanks to lildago, DreamTeam and Snapit for the excellent screencaps!