This recap covers Sunday noon to Monday noon, house time.
This is my first season of having the feeds, and wow… I’m glad I didn’t have any plans for the summer! I never thought I would be so interested in watching random people play chess and give themselves “Croatian” nicknames, but I can’t get enough! So what happened on Sunday? Not a whole lot, but there were those nicknames I mentioned. Oh, and America’s Player got his story on. More about that later…
People seem to be getting more comfortable with one another, as only reality TV show contestants can do, and unfortunately this means that all of the other HGs, (and anyone watching the live feeds), are all privy to some very, very personal, (and sometimes pretty gross) things about Amber. Please give me an example, you ask? I’d be happy to! The girl has had about 700 surgeries and has been hospitalized numerous times. One time, she was in the hospital for an unknown reason, and she was so pumped full of morphine that she constantly had crippling diarrhea and could not make it to the bathroom, (so, she just had accident after accident). And, because she was too embarrassed to ask the nurse for help, she would make her boyfriend clean her up and take her back to bed… where the whole sordid process would start all over again. Amber comments how horribly embarrassing this was for her, and I wonder if she’s aware that her whole gross story was caught on the feeds.
Do not let this woman sleep in your bed!
What else did Amber do? She told Daniele that Dick is like a father to her. Awkward!!
Remember how excited Mike and Zach were to be in an alliance with Kail yesterday? Well, what a difference a day makes. Oh, they’re still excited, but I think the thrill of being with an older woman is wearing off. Zach and Mike dish about the vote, and remark that if they save Carol- she’ll feel like she owes them, but if they vote to save Amber, she’ll just feel like she was entitled to their votes.
Then the boys decide that they need to stick with their original plan… whatever that is. Sometimes I’m sure they’re voting for Carol, and sometimes I just know it’s Amber. One thing I am sure about though? Zach doesn’t trust Kail and thinks she’s a loose cannon. A paranoid loose cannon, because at one point she sends Jen over to Zach to drill him on how he’s going to vote. He doesn’t appreciate this, doesn’t like the pressure, and just wants to be left alone with his chessboard. He declares that if he wins HOH, he will distance himself from the other Mrs. Robinson members for a while.
One more noteworthy thing about Zach? He made up silly “Croatian” nicknames for himself, Mike, Nick and Dustin, and spent a good part of the day speaking in an Arnold Swarzenegger-esque accent.
Zach like nicknames!
Who loves Nick? Everybody!
It's just that... no one's ever made me feel pretty before.
Aside from holding Joe tenderly, Nick didn’t really do anything interesting… except that he made secret alliances with almost every other player. This guy seems to have his finger in every pot. He’s definitely part of the Mrs. Robinson alliance, and may be part of the Super Sexy alliance, and is probably a secret member of Cheerleader Carol’s alliance of 1. He did a lot of flirting with both the ladies and the fellas, and all but declared his love for Daniele!
Nick: All I wanted to do was meet the girl of my dreams, and it happened.
My cats do this all the time
Speaking of the girl is Nick's dreams, like, Daniele and Jessica had a, like, meeting of the minds and decided that they need to get rid of Kail and Mike, because they’re too smart and whatever? And if they were HOH they, like, wouldn’t make their nominations based on strategy? They’d nominate the people they didn’t like? Like freaky Eric and that whore Jen?
I’m sure they said more, and did some incredible and insightful strategizing, but I think I would have gouged my eardrums out if I had to listen to them for one more minute.
How cold do they keep this house anyway?
Joe’s Story Hour has already become a BB8 tradition, and he does not disappoint his audience tonight. The live feed viewers are only treated to one story because Joe says the name of the author who wrote the second story, and we’re suddenly in the blue vortex. *shakes fist at the sky!* Damn you Big Brother PTB!! I wanted to hear a scary story!
Though they like his stories, it seems that no one really trusts Joe, which makes me really wonder if his Super Sexy alliance is mostly in his head.
Oops! Am I undressing in front of the cameras again? Silly me!
The HGs start hitting the sheets around 2:30am (except for Kail, who read her Bible in the HOH room until 9:30, and then turned in), and after a while only Amber and Dick remain in the backyard. They discuss strategy, past BB seasons and who they would put up for nomination. Dick reveals that he took notes on how Dr. Will played the game, and even offers Amber advice on how to strategize. Amber, in turn, tells him about the time she had crippling diarrhea in the hospital.
Finally, after cleaning, rearranging the bunnies, and talking to himself in front of the Memory Wall, Dick heads to bed around 6am. House time.
Eric's appearance on Big Brother is brought to you by Busted Tees. (Seriously, how many of their shirts does he own?)
Eric started playing the role of America’s Player on Monday afternoon, by cornering Kail and telling her a very loooong sad story about how he had a girlfriend in high school with an eating disorder, and in order to help her he had to man up and become and adult and he’s worried that Daniele might have an eating disorder too, and blah, blah, blah…
Kail seems really interested in the story at first, and even appears to be wiping tears out of her eyes, but just like the viewers, she soon gets bored with Eric’s yarn that just won’t end, and probably wonders why he’s telling her all this in the first place. She has no idea that viewer text messages gave her this sentence, and I kind of feel sorry for her.
And, that brings us up to noon! Thank God, because Amber is starting in on another one of her gross stories, and I just don’t want to recap it.
I’ll leave you with one final picture, because she may not have that much longer in the house:
Why oh why did I give up professional cheerleading for this gig? By the way- did you know that fight songs can't be changed because of tradition? Oh, you didn't care? Sorry.