*This is a recap of events from noon Saturday to noon Sunday*
Ah, another afternoon in the Big Brother house, watching the houseguests laze about in the backyard. It’s about as exciting as watching the grass grow. Seriously. It’s been less than a week, and already we’re getting the plaintive whines of hamsters claiming to be bored to tears. Makes me wish I could fast-forward the feeds to the evening hours, when it actually gets interesting.
Some highlights of the day’s events:
- Carol is being a real drag, moping and pouting like nobody’s business.
- Jen is a certifiable headcase. More on that later.
- Kail seems to be in an alliance with Zach, Nick, and Mike.
- Almost everyone in the house has a crush on Nick. Guys too.
- Mike and Amber had a “date night.” If you want to call that a date.
- The sound people screwed up again, letting us hear snippets of Diary Room talk.
- Daniele’s already lost six pounds in the house!
Now this is classy.
As I said, not much goes on in the afternoon. Daniele and Nick jokingly plan their wedding (bet her boyfriend is loving this), and the camera guys get all lazy on us, leaving all four cams on the same view for way too long. Vampire Dick wakes up late in the afternoon, and asks if the POV meeting was held yet. Joe told him that Daniele didn’t use it, but she jokingly piped up and said that she took both girls off the block and put Joe’s nipples up instead. If only.
Later on, Dick and Jameka have an in-depth discussion about religion. Dick thinks that you have to believe every word in the Bible to believe in God, but Carol and Jameka disagree. You only have to believe in Jesus, they say. Dick then questions the author of the Bible, reveals that his mom was a minister (wow), and they continue arguing theology. Finally, some intelligent conversation! Unlike this one between Joe and Jessica in the backyard:
Jessica: Can you get a tan under water?
Jessica: Then how come fish aren't all black?
Can I really be too stupid to live?
Boggles the mind, doesn’t it? Jameka and Carol trash talk Dick a bit after he left the discussion, with Carol wanting Jameka to target Dick for eviction next week. A bat later swoops down on the houseguests in the backyard, sending “our” player Eric screaming for cover like a little girl. Amber and Dustin are afraid of rabies, but Dick likes the critter. No surprise there. They’re both creatures of the night. Jen is zonked out over in the hammock, sleeping with her mouth open. It suits her.
Zach digs for BB gold.
The evening drags on, with a few people working out and little game talk. Amber tells Dustin that she has Jameka, Dick and Nick in the bag as she prepares for her “date” with Mike. It’s amazing how these dates coincide with the airing on Showtime, doesn’t it? Amber futzes with her clothes while Dustin picks his nose, pulling her skirt low so that her butt tattoo and thong straps show. Nothing says classy like a tramp stamp and peekaboo drawers, yes? Mike waits for her downstairs, and when she finally makes an appearance, he presents her with some flowers he nabbed from the backyard and microwave cookies. Talk about a cheap date. They sit in the backyard, she whines about wanting some booze, and I switch feeds to see Eric and Jen in the hammock, with Eric dropping f-bombs the whole time.
About five minutes into the date from hell, Amber gets called to the Diary Room. Ha. I don’t know who is more relieved, Amber or Mike. Eric continues talking a mile a minute (is this guy on speed?), Dustin and Dick spin in the teacup, and Carol sucks up to Gonorrhea Joe in the hot tub. Amber returns with the news that BB will be providing some treats. They end up with Corona beer (in cans, yuck!) and they squeal with excitement. Except Dustin, who doesn’t drink beer. Stick a lime in it, Dustin, they’re good.
Amber asks Mike if he still likes Jen now that he’s been on a date with her (Amber). Is this something she should really ask? *sigh* Mike confides that he lives with his ex-girlfriend’s parents. Yeah, what a catch.
It's a Zach O' Lantern! Come on, tell me that grin doesn't scare you.
Kail, who seems to stay holed up in the HoH room for the majority of the time, has one of her boys, Nick, upstairs. Nobody will suspect her with “you three guys,” she says. Meaning Nick, Zach, and Mike. It’s the Mrs. Robinson alliance, if you’re keeping track. Kail thinks that Amber is the bigger threat, and pushes the guys to vote her out. Zach wants to wait for the next HoH, since Carol only has a few people on her side and it would be easier to dump her this week.
Carol has moved on to yakking with Eric, and he must really like her: he stops with the f-words every five seconds. Carol trashes Jessica to Eric, saying she is a backstabber. Just pay her the five bucks already, Carol. Sheesh. Meanwhile, Mike is bored to tears on his date and goes inside to pee - and runs into Jen. She asks if Amber is a better date, and he tells her he can’t really say. How could he tell them that they’re both about as interesting as wallpaper paste? It just wouldn’t be polite.
Eric...."There's some ****ing rude ****ers in this house."
The date from hell ends and some of the hamsters wander off to play golf in the backyard. The slop eaters are taken off restriction, and the pigging out commences. Everyone stuffs their faces, but Daniele makes....a salad. Mmm, that’s my choice of a midnight snack. A big ol’ bowl of lettuce. After a few bites of salad and quesadilla, she proclaims that she’s full. Mike and Jen go to play chess upstairs, and it’s painfully obvious that Jen can’t play. She doesn’t even know how to move the knight.
Yes, she really does eat.
Eric is now upstairs, whining to Kail about how nasty Daniele is. “One day she just decided to wake up and start being a bitch,” he says. He then starts in on Joe and his story time, rehashing the stupid pillow incident from the night before. What a whiny little thing he is. This is the best they could do for America's player? I want to trade him in, Julie. Dick also says that he has a date with Kail tomorrow night. Now that’s going to be an interesting date.
Here’s where Jen starts to lose it: she was overheard saying that she won’t speak to Nick anymore because he was flirting with the other girls. It has to be her, and only her. Insecure much, Jen? For his part, Nick pretty much blew her off. Jen also told Joe that Nick tried to kiss her on the first day but she wouldn’t let him. Nick tells Joe he did no such thing. They both go to confront Jen, who now denies the story. Joe says nuh-uh, you just told me about it. So Jen comes off looking like a moron, and succeeds in pissing off most of the house. Joe thinks she’s an instigator, and Dick thinks she’s a rude bitch: “Is she such a bitch that she doesn’t know she’s being a bitch?” Later on, Dick tells Nick that Jen is going around saying that Nick is only with Daniele because she (Jen) rejected him. This girl needs a smack in the head. Except that I’m afraid it would knock out the few remaining working brain cells she has left.
3 am hamster time, and there’s a lot of Jen bashing in the backyard. Nick and Jen end up talking in the storage room, and, like, Jen just feels like, so bad. She says that Nick’s cuddling with Daniele hurt her, and talks of their “relationship.” Huh? Watch out, Nick. She’s about to go all Fatal Attraction on you. If you see one of the topiary bunnies in a pot on the stove, run! Run for your life!
The houseguests wander off to bed, with the exception of Dick, who wanders the house cleaning, belching, smoking, and talking to himself. He decorates one of the topiary bunnies with vegetables and finally hits the sack at 7 am hamster time.
Dick plays with a bush.
Not much happens in the morning: the usual preening routines, and a bit of gossip about last night’s events. Once again, they forget to cut the DR sound and we get to hear Kail being coached for Sunday night’s show. I guess this stuff is scripted more than I thought it was. BB comes on to wake up the remaining sleeping beauties, and tells them that the veto ceremony will begin shortly.
Thanks to Jewelsy, lildago and bbnbama for the screencaps!