This recap covers Friday noon to Saturday noon, house time.
We're not even 24 hours into the feeds, but we're ruthlessly plunged into a live feed tradition - the dreaded feed-blocking screen. Last year's flames have morphed into a spiraling tube of water that makes you feel like you're being sucked into a vortex. Down the rabbit…whirlpool? Yeah, I don't get the visual metaphor either.
Whither Hast Thou Gone, Feeds?
- Daniele won the Power of Veto.
- All indications are that she won't use it, and that Carol is getting the boot.
When the noon hour arrives, the feeds are blocked with trivia questions from previous seasons of Big Brother. I recognized a question from last year's feed blockage, so it appears they didn't even dredge up new ones. The trivia questions are BB's signal that the feeds are going to be blocked for a long time - and in fact, they were blocked from the time this recap started at 12 noon until 4:30 p.m. The Power of Veto competition was being played, and feed viewers aren't allowed to watch for a pack of reasons -- too many production people around, and too many flub ups that have to be refilmed and packaged as spontaneous.
But wait, even now it's not really over! The feeds return to a pack of sullen hamsters stuck in the HOH room, playing Twenty Questions. It soon becomes apparent that these are the hamsters who aren't playing the POV competition -- Dick, Dustin, Zach, Mike, Eric, Jen, and Joe -- and that the competition isn't over yet. After a few annoying minutes, feed watchers are given the water vortex again for another hour.
It isn't until 5:45 that the feeds return to show all the hamsters in the back yard, pigging out on pizza -- even those that are supposed to be on slop. Nothing says "sorry the competition turned out to be three hours longer than we planned for" than a piping hot pizza. Mmm.
No one is wearing the medallion, but from the congratulations winging her way, Daniele is clearly the winner. She's quite proud of herself, too. She actually says a few times, "I'm proud of myself." Pat little Alice on the head!
What was the POV competition like? It involved hiding and seeking. Why did a show that delights in being scandalous pick a childlike theme this year? I'm not sure, but Daniele was the best hider and seeker. Each player had to hide a veto symbol somewhere in the house, then they were given a few minutes at a time to search the house for the symbols. The houseguests were invited to hide the veto medallions in their fellow hamsters' personal items, so not even the panty drawers were spared.
The six players, Kail, Carol, Amber, Daniele, Jameka, and Nick, were on lockdown in the back yard while one by one they searched the house in turn. There were several rounds where no one found anything; Jameka mentioned a whopping eighteen rounds where houseguest after houseguest came out to the back yard empty-handed. Each of those rounds were timed, but they varied from one-minute runs to five-minute runs. And each time the houseguests dipped into the house, they tore more of it apart. Seriously, they turned the Big Brother house into a trash heap. Five and a half hours of searches resulted in heaps of clothes, pots, pans, toiletries on every floor.
But no one's worried about the mess at first, they're just chowing down on pizza. Zach eats eight and a half pieces, then says his stomach hurts (duh!). Daniele delicately eats while fidgeting with her tube top and saying things like, "I'm having trouble eating" "I can't eat like this" and "I can't eat a lot." For the love of biscuits, Daniele, you're on slop - can't you just ingest as many calories that actually contain flavor while you can? It's not helping her image of being dangerously thin that she's making these anti-eating comments, either.
Kail praises Daniele in the manner of a proud preschool teacher whose favorite pupil just wrote her name for the first time. "Good job. You must be proud of yourself," she says, drawing out the word "proud" so that it comes out "proooud". Daniele preens and thanks her. She is proud, thank you very much. I didn't catch where she hid her medallion, but she spooned out something, buried it well, and even went so far as to wash the spoon and replace it in the drawer. Not only did no one found her medallion, but she also found the last medallion that completed the competition. A winner from both directions.
Daniele tells the pizza eaters around her, namely Zach, Nick, Jen, and Joe, that she was getting angry during the competition because Carol kept complaining about not having anything to eat while they were stuck out in the back yard. Since Daniele's been on slop, she was offended that Carol would be that insensitive. Daniele doesn't sound to disposed to use her Power of Veto to save Carol. Across the yard, the buzz is all about what happened in the HOH room while the feeds were blocked. Dick, it seems, went apecrap on Jen.
Dick explains to Amber and Carol that he was just tired of Jen being a bitch. She's such a bitch that she can't even see how much of a bitch she is. Can you understand what level of bitch she has to be to be completely oblivious to how much of a bitch she is? From what Eric says later - and the whole incident is discussed a few times as the day goes on, since apparently it was pretty explosive - Jen went into passive mode, and Dick was super aggressive. Eric especially seems shook up by the whole thing.
Daniele has a quick conversation with Amber about Dick, saying she doesn't want to be seen as a "bratty daughter" by America, but that she just doesn't even want to be in the same room with him. It's a surprisingly intense conversation considering the entire house is stuck in the back yard with her, and most of them are only a few feet away the whole time. Amber makes lots of sympathetic noises, making Daniele feel good about talking to her. The whole time Amber is sitting with her legs up on the lounger, her feet tucked up by her tush, legs spread wide. Which is worse - that pose, or the crotch-cam that's aimed straight at her the whole time?
Jen: We have no life. We wake up, eat, tan, hot tub, eat, and talk during all that. It's a rough life.
Big Brother lets them back into the house, and the cleaning begins. Eric freaks out that his medications are spread out on the bed by someone who was "seeking" in his private stuff; America's Player actually heats up enough that he has to walk out of the room to cool off lest he fly off the handle. A couple of houseguests quietly take note of how enraged he is. Jen complains that her expensive dresses are messed up and she can't find her birth control pills. *cough* Does she have plans or something? Everyone pitches in and the house is made ship shape in record time, surprising even the houseguests themselves. Amber later tells Dustin that she was helping everyone put their underwear back in the drawers to butter them up. Clever girl.
Speaking of Amber, she isn't campaigning -- yet she manages to make sure she knows where everyone stands. Carol isn't campaigning, but I get the feeling that it's more because she feels she hasn't connected with people than anything else. Carol slips into a deeper depression as the day goes on. She ends up weeping on the couch while Zach consoles her with a big cuddly hug. Jen walks by and tells Carol that she shouldn't cry, because people tend to vote out the criers. They might feel Carol is mad at her, and that makes them feel better about voting her out. When you look at it in black and white, it's actually sensible advice -- but at the moment, it just comes across as someone kicking the weepy girl while she's down. Zach advises Carol to get up and walk around for a while (what he means: away from Jen) and Carol strolls to the backyard to do a few dance moves. It looks like ballet, and to my untrained eye, she's quite talented. Maybe the Kansas City Chiefs will reconsider, Carol.
She ends up in the hammock talking to Joe. She tells him that she's got Jen, Daniele, and Joe in her corner for sure. She's pretty sure she can sway Zach and Nick, too. She doesn't have a read on Eric. (For the record, it looks like Carol doesn't have any of those votes.) Joe thinks that Eric is on the fence, and Carol realizes that most of them are on the fence, really. Everyone is waiting to see what the house does. Joe thinks Jameka will vote in Amber's favor, but Carol has hopes of swaying her, too, saying they have a lot in common, including Christianity. Carol then chugs her beer, because she can't stand the taste. "I'd be more fun with a Corona," she tells her microphone, only half-kidding.
Although Joe is the incessant gamer this season, he genuinely seems to care for Carol here. Or maybe I'm just swayable. But Amber has observed them on the hammock and is concerned about his conversation with Carol. She complains to Dustin that Joe and Carol seem to be talking too much. Amber tells Justin that Joe actually wants to throw Carol a vote so that it won't be a complete shut out. Amber is ticked off, and Dustin tells her that it probably wouldn't matter, but she's not hearing that. One little thrown vote could have a domino effect.
Amber tells Dustin that she's working hard on getting it through to the other houseguests that Dustin does not equal Joe. They are not a couple, they are not a unit, and they do not go hand-in-hand. Dustin tells Amber that she is saving his life in the house -- it's exactly the PR campaign that he needs. Amber tries to ask delicately if he really wants Joe to remain in the house, but before she can finish her sentence, he jumps in with an emphatic "no". He wants Joe gone. Amber says that if she wins HOH next week, she will put up Jen and Joe.
The disembodied voice of a female producer tells the houseguests that if they are on slop, they can't eat anyth--and we get the water vortex screen. Later, Joe confesses that he was the culprit. He snuck some pineapple when he was helping to clean up the kitchen.
Cue the *Bow-Chicka-Bow-Bow*s
It's 9:00 p.m., and it's showtime -- Showtime, that is. Is it a coincidence that the hamsters went from housecleaning and eating toast in the kitchen to taking showers and getting in the hot tub in the space of 10 minutes? A couple of dropped comments are starting to smell like the hamsters are told to strip down at 9:00. That's certainly when the booze starts flowing.
Tonight's Showtime watchers are no doubt disappointed to see that Jen is going for "classy" this evening instead of last night's "stripper chic." She and Mike are having the first ever BB8 house date, which they make a point of repeating several times. Looking cleaned and pressed, Mike "picks up" Jen from the HOH with some flowers behind his back, and they proceed to the hammock to chat and eat frozen grapes. Honestly, I try to listen in on their date but how many times can you hear them talk about how great it is that they got dressed up and are on a date? The first date of BB8, remember? Yawn. Jen does tell Mike that she was "memorized" by him at first sight. "Memorized or mesmerized?" he chuckles. She says it's the same thing, then says she's always saying "funny" things like that just to get a reaction. In other words, she meant to do that. Yeah, right. Mike doesn't buy it either.
Across the lawn, Nick is in the hot tub, flexing his muscles. Upstairs, Daniele visits Kail, who tells her again how proud she is of her for being the Veto winner. Then she asks a little too casually, "You're not going to use it, right?" Daniele assures her that she's not. "Good," replies Kail, "then I don't have to think about it - about a replacement." Case closed, it seems -- and I'm sure it is, but it comes across as Kail being relieved that she won't have to make any more difficult decisions than anything else. And the message came across clearly that Mommy does not want her little girl to disobey. I think Kail is quite proud of herself, too, for mothering Daniele just enough to secure her assurances. If you ask me, that pride is misplaced. Daniele just doesn't want to rock the boat.
Having consumed some beer and an entire bottle of wine, Carol is hitting rock bottom. She lies on the floor outside the HOH room with Dustin in a drunken pity party. She calls the BB cameras the "evil eye of Satan", saying she just wants to flip them off. She tells him the producers are going to hate her when they hear what she has to say. Dustin tells her to let loose, but she won't; she's afraid they will use it against her, edit her into the "house slut". Dustin tries to break her out of her funk, but she says she can't explain it to him without letting too much slip (the houseguests aren't allowed to talk about Diary Room sessions). Dustin advises her to try to relax and enjoy the next few days. "I shouldn't be here," she moans. Dustin massages her head; for the rest of the night, she glares at the cameras and complains they are targeting her. Eventually, Carol gets her wish and is called into the DR.
Alice Has a Boyfriend, Neener Neener Neener
Showmancing already? Yes! Nick and Daniele are the happy couple who head out to the hammock to banter gently and gaze into each other's eyes. He tells her that he told his parents about a "flawless" girl he saw at the preliminaries but that she was blonde and probably stupid. He's pleasantly surprised to find she's actually smart. And funny, she's really funny. Daniele agrees, telling him she was voted Funniest in her high school. They're trying to needle each other a bit playfully, but it does seem that they are sincerely tight. They talk game a little. Nick tells her he doesn't think he needs to win HOH next week because he's good with everyone. In fact, he feels confident enough that he'd be willing to go up on the block against Jen. He tells her he thinks her dad is cool, but she replies that he's not his dad. Nick is quick to agree and say he understands, backing off that subject instantly. They flirt a bit, then plan all the food that they're going to cook when they're off slop. They're going to spend the entire day in the kitchen. I get the feeling that Nick is "handling" Daniele just a bit, but I think she's genuinely opening up to him. Could this be BB5's Drew revisited?
Joe comes out and joins them in the hammock. He works up to an alliance proposal by trashing a universal target: Jen. He says that everyone in the house wants her out, except for Kail, who is inexplicably buddy-buddy with her. He thinks they all have to be thinking on their feet because there's a good possibility this is a double eviction week. The elongated week, he reasons, is because they will evict someone on Sunday, play a new HOH competition, and the winner will be asked to nominate two people on the spot who will eventually be evicted on Thursday. (I personally don't think BB will cram that much elaborate filming into their first week, but hey, I'm not chatting with producers or anything.) But he's leading up to his main point: Daniele and Nick need to be thinking now about who they would nominate. His suggestion is Jen, and they agree placidly.
They talk about who else could be in their alliance. Joe is clearly running the meeting, with Daniele and Nick holding back a little and letting him talk. He thinks they should have six people -- say, Jessica, the two of them, himself, "one more guy," and maybe Jameka. Daniele points out that Zach really follows Nick around; he's probably swayable. Joe is really pushing the alliance of six, saying they can be the alliance of cool kids that all of America wants to watch, not the dorky alliance everyone hates. He tells them to work on a name; he's thinking of the SS alliance - the "super sexy" alliance. But for now, Joe asks them not to say anything to the other three.
Joe leaves, and Daniele and Nick confer. They both picked up on how quick Joe was to get Jessica in on the alliance - they are playing it cool but both Daniele and Nick think Jessica and Joe are very close. Daniele says that she doesn't trust Eric. "Do you trust Joe?" she asks Nick, who diplomatically replies that he doesn't know. "Honestly, I don't trust him," Daniele shares, "but don't tell anyone that."
Zach comes over and kills the conversation. Eventually, Daniele slips off the hammock and Nick and Zach swing awkwardly, heads together. Then they start to talk a little game quietly; in fact, they allude to being in a secret alliance together with possibly with one other -- then they scatter, so I didn't catch who the third person would have been. Carol heads to bed early, but Dick, Mike, Jen and Eric seem primed to stay up all night. Joe, channeling Andy Dick in a scarf and granny glasses, tells ghost stories in the dark to the kidlumps in his bedroom. Eric walks in on the story and unintentionally becomes the personification of the story's villain, "the imp."
Some random observations from the day:
- Joe is always starting game conversations. He's relentlessly on point all the time, and goes from group to group to talk game.
- Jen and Mike hung out a lot, and were really into
- Eric seems to be slightly annoying a few people. Zach isn't far behind. But I have to say Eric is growing on me just a bit.
- Nick and Daniele are in showmance mode, and it's not clear if it's calculated or sincere.
- Zach seems slightly dorky; he re-enacted a moment from Ace Ventura: Pet Detective more than once. Once would have been enough.
- Jen let slip that her "30 minutes to pack" was more like three hours.
- Relayed third-hand, Jen told Dick that she didn't want him touching her in the food competition (which we haven't seen yet) because she doesn't want him (a smoker) to "get cancer on her."
- Jameka thinks Jen is stupid and probably doesn't even know her (Jameka's) name.
- Jen told someone earlier in the week that she's "all real," but later told someone else that she has had her boobs done.
- Kail is very straightforward about thinking Jen is nice, even though more than one person has complained to her about Jen. Which really isn't helping either woman's standing in the house.
- Jameka wears granny panties.
- Daniele takes a long time to get ready in the morning. She spent ten minutes alone on her mascara - and she licks the brush. Eww.
- Eric had to quit his job to go on Big Brother, and his company wouldn't sign the release, so he can't say who he worked for.
I headed to bed about 2:30 a.m, but from reading around the internet, many of the hamsters were up late. Dick put out a breakfast of a bagel, cottage cheese, and orange juice for Eric to find in the morning. The two of them have a running joke of trying to get Eric to eat so that he will be penalized (he's on slop). Dick wrote in mustard, "Eric, your mother said to eat your breakfast today and come home. Love, Evel Dick. XOXO"
Meanwhile, Eric had gone to bed, but ended up out on the patio in the wee hours of the morning in a rage over Joe, who had woken him up with a girly squeal. When Eric tried to storm out of the room in a huff, he tripped over what turned out to be a big blockade of crap at the door that Joe had set up as a booby trap. Joe comes out to the patio to ask Eric if he's mad at him, and Eric told him he was "effing pissed." Joe apologized while Eric went on about respecting people who are trying to sleep. Joe explained that he and Jessica were trying to get some privacy, and he was clearly in the wrong, but I'm sure Eric just went up a few notches on Joe's "evict now" list.
Joe headed back to bed, but Eric stayed up with Mike and Dick until about 5:30 a.m. (These people!) They folded laundry and talked about Joe, saying that he reveals too much and that he's not the kind of person you want on your team. Eric and Mike headed in for a few hours of sleep while Dick went to the DR; he eventually headed to bed around dawn. That's two nights in a row with almost no sleep for Dick by my count.
According to Dick, any live feeders who were watching the three of them were treated to a hilarious night of off-the-wall zingers from Mike. Me, I like to sleep once in a while more than zany comedy, I guess.
Good Morning, Houseguests
By 8:15 or so, the entire house is up, and it turns out that Big Brother has woken them up - for what purpose, nobody knows. Maybe BB is just being a brat. A few of them got up for a half hour, then went right back to bed. Jessica, Amber, and Joe -- I'm looking at you.
Eric starts the day by telling Joe he overreacted to being woken up the night before. Joe tells him it's cool, it was no big deal, and they move on.
Carol is going curly this morning; Daniele is a blonde blow-dried goddess who spent a long time putting on makeup. She's dressed in pink, and she looks delicate and gorgeous. Jen looks hung over with designer sunglasses and her hair up in a bun. The beefy guys lift weights and brag about how at home, the put 90 on the bar instead of a paltry 50 that they can max out on Big Brother's weight set. Dick is smoking on the couches, watching them.
Carol: I wonder if my parents are watching right now.
Jameka and Nick talk on the hammock quietly. Jameka retells a story she heard from Eric, that Jen was asking Eric if he knew such-and-such random person who is Jewish, as if all Jewish people know each other. She also made some comment to Jameka when she was braiding her hair about all "people" like her having to braid -- Jameka herself couldn't remember what she said exactly, but it was some sort of generalization comment she found mildly offensive. They both think that Sunday will be a live show with an eviction (again, I seriously doubt BB will do this, but the hamsters are convinced and are planning accordingly). They drift into a conversation about their families. Jameka once pulled a knife on her brother, but only threatened him with it. She once riled her dad so much he chased her around the house and ended up punching her twice. Nick says his dad spanked him, and his sister actually did cut him with a knife. Ah, memories. Hopefully, no one involved is watching on a Saturday morning, right?
Nick tells Jameka that he's only a few months out from a serious relationship; the girl dumped him and he never got closure from her. He even says her name, while saying he's not supposed to say it: Katie. The internet heard you, Nick!
Carol comes over and joins the hammock; Nick leaves, and Jen comes over, too. Carol tells Jen and Jameka details about her life of cheerleading, and how her father pays for her sorority housing, how she wants to get back in with the Kansas City Chiefs. She is still complaining about the cameras this morning, and her mood isn't much improved from last night, even sober. Is it just me or was she a lot more likeable when she had some hope? I'm just not warming up to these conversations about how wonderful her life is outside the Big Brother house.
A little later, Eric, Jen, Carol, and Kail are sitting on the backyard couches discussing the surprise pizza dinner. Eric has a way of saying something with a smile and a laugh but you can tell he's wound up tight about it, and that he isn't laughing at all. He asks Carol (forced laugh) if she was the one who complained it was "unfair" that the slop eaters got to have pizza after the competition. Carols says that yes, she did think it was unfair. Kail and Jen tell Eric they were just glad the slop eaters got to eat it, too. Eric thinks that they planned the pizza on purpose because seven days is too long to be on slop. Carol thinks it was a cheat, and unplanned; Jen says she asked the producers and they told her the pizza was unplanned. When they realized the houseguests were going to be on lockdown outside after the competition due to a plumbing problem, they got pizza for everyone. Eric says that when other people on slop he will be glad if they get a surprise break from it; he won't resent it. Carol gets up and walks away. I think she realizes he's not on the fence any more.
Meanwhile, Dustin rubs Nick down with suntan lotion. I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions about that.
The morning is filled with small talk and zero game talk, since everyone is up and around - or at least, the cameras stayed on the sun tanning, weight lifting, and lounging hamsters in the back yard who can't really talk much game without the rest of the back yard overhearing.
This is my general observation of people who seem to be getting along especially well, but as with anything in Big Brother, it could change on a dime -- or by whoever wins HOH next week.
- Dick and Eric
- Dick and Mike
- Kail and Jen
- Mike and Jen
- Dustin and Amber (very tight)
- Joe and Jessica (very tight)
- Nick and Daniele (crushing)
- Nick and Zach (secret alliance?)
- Jameka and Nick
- Jameka and Kail
Joe's proposed alliance: Joe, Jessica, Nick, Daniele, Zach, and Jameka.