This recap covers Wednesday noon to Thursday noon.
The days are dwindling in the Big Brother house, and Wednesdays – already known for being slower than Chicken George on a treadmill – have slowed to the point where the fabric of space and time has been torn asunder. How else can you explain all four cameras being trained on the image of Chicken George sleeping on the outside couch for fifteen minutes? Time has ground to a halt. There is simply no other explanation.
…well, okay. Boogie continued to needle Will about his relationship with Janelle, and was a big whiny piece of poo all day.
- After being stuck together like glue last night, Will and Janelle have cooled off a bit – especially Will, who seemed to be dropping hints in Janelle’s direction, like remarking that he was voted the heartbreaker in the prom poll.
- Will made showmance fans gnash their teeth by telling Erika that he is in love with Erin Brodie, and that he’s fighting Janelle off at every turn.
- While Janelle was asleep most of the day, Will went crazy with boredom, kicking a ball on the roof, trying to lure the fire department with an overly-smoky fire, shouting at construction workers he could hear from the back yard.
- By all accounts, nothing has changed: Danielle will be the next name on the sequester list, although she’s confident she’s staying.
When this recap picks up at noon, the houseguests are gathered around the dining room table playing cards. Chicken George is called to the DR, and after he leaves, the Will and Boogie (in front of the others) trash him a bit. The consensus is that George really, truly thought Big Brother was going to take them on a yacht for their 5-star dinner. He drove everyone crazy by mentioning it so much; “when we go out on a yacht yada yada – “ constantly. Will wonders if he even knows what show he’s on. Big Brother. Hamsters locked in a house. $2 bottles of wine. No one but George thought it was even a remote possibility. Erika points out that they didn’t even spring for a pretty white tent like she was hoping for.
Boogie tells the others that he got “written up” by Big Brother for not wearing his microphone earlier in the morning. He says he was brushing his teeth at the time, and no one else was up, so what was the point? Big Brother is in a cranky mood, he says; and if you ask me, Boogie’s not exactly little Mr. Sunshine himself. He’s been fighting off an ear infection for a few days, and he tells BB that he needs to see a doctor. When the HOH camera makes its regular Wednesday afternoon appearance, he refuses to pose for pictures because he’s mad at BB. You would think he could pull out a nice photo with the HOH, who is supposed to be his girlfriend, but as he does many times in the house, he leaves Will to take up that slack.
The hamsters had been on an indoor lockdown, but when the backyard is opened, there’s no trampoline, no returned pool table, and no HOH practice. Boogie grabs Will and takes him outside for a “rap;” Will asks him if this is going to be a weird conversation. Boogie says that yeah, he wants to vent, but he also heard some interesting information: Danielle told him that now that everyone thinks she’s going home, they’re telling her their strategy. Boogie says Danielle was told by Janelle that she doesn’t trust Chill Town. Will counters that he knows Janelle is nervous, but it’s just whether to believe Will would take her to the final three. For the next two evictions, she is “locked, locked, locked.” Before they can explore it any further, though, Janelle herself comes out the sliding glass door. “Wow, how does she always look this hot?" Will says smoothly, changing gears without hesitation.
They settle into safer subjects in front of Janelle – who would Chicken George nominate if he miraculously won HOH? Will asks Boogie how his showmance is going, and Boogie tells him he’s done with it. It’s all about the comps now; he doesn’t need her anymore. He asks Will and Janelle why they play cutesy all the time, and they tell him they’re not playing. Boogie adds that he needs to be careful with Erika. He’ll throw the HOH competition so that he doesn’t have to be the one to put her up. Will tells Janelle (in the manner of filling someone in who has joined the conversation) that Boogie is worried about Danielle knowing too much, and that she might go nuts when she gets voted out. Who knows what she might shout out, so it’s wise not to tell her anything. They talk about Danielle being a good player, then Will tells Janelle that she’s an awesome player herself – in fact, she’s the best player who picks the worst alliances. They’re interrupted by Erika arriving with the camera, then George and Danielle come out to join the group. Boogie slinks back into the house muttering something about not being able to hold any freaking conversations with all the interruptions in the house.
Danielle sneaks behind the couch to smoke again – boy, she’s turned into a chimney for her last few days in the house – and Chicken George works on yet another wacky shirt for a live show. The two couples (faux-, show-, or ho- mance, however you want to see them) head up to the HOH to spoon, play cards, and other fluffy stuff. In fact, at one point, Will lets out that he and Janelle are a “flirtmance, not a fauxmance”. Erika pounces on the term, pointing at herself and Boogie: “Is that what happened here?” Will tells her no, of course not. Not at all. But it’s interesting that she used the past tense, isn’t it?
They drift apart again, and the powers that be decide that we need to watch Chicken George sleep. On all four cameras. For fifteen minutes.
Don’t Forget Your Toothbrush
Excitement comes when Danielle packs her suitcase. Deep, deep excitement in the form of Boogie telling her about how he finally got a visit with a doctor, but he didn’t have the right tool to unclog his ear. Apparently, the anonymous doctor watches the show, too, because they chatted about Howie’s eviction. Maybe the doctor was wishing Howie had aimed a little lower than Boogie’s cap.
Will is up in the HOH room telling Erika that he saved her the week that Janelle put up Marcellas as a replacement nominee, emphasizing that he had to work hard to keep Janelle from putting Erika up. He says he couldn’t believe it when it actually worked. Erika shows that her mind is on current events, now:
Erika: Danielle is going to die when she finds out I've been working with you guys.
They both think Janelle has an “uncanny” way of knowing what competition might be coming up next. Janelle’s prediction for this week is that it will involve their “favorites” questionnaires. But they also know that she spends a lot of time looking at the memory wall, memorizing…something.
Will talks at length about his relationship with Janelle, telling Erika that it is firmly in the realm of flirtmance, nothing more. He tells her that he’s in love with Erin, but the “flirtmance has served an amazing purpose in this house.” It helped him get rid of Marcellas, and even helped Janelle get over Howie’s rough exit quickly. But he is not looking to be with Janelle outside of the house.
Will: At the end of the day, I want to be with Erin Brodie, and she, I'm pretty convinced, unless she's better than I think, wants to be with me.
Erika: And Janelle?
Will: Janelle is…unrelenting.
Erika: What is she whispering to you?
Will: Just stuff, like STUFF stuff…like, relationship-ending stuff.
Erika seems surprised, and Will tells her that he thinks Janelle is hot, she’s amazing – but that he’s in love with Erin. If he was single, who knows what would happen, but he’s not. Meanwhile, he thinks Janelle is just plain spoiled, and used to getting what she wants.
Will leaves Erika and wanders downstairs to find Janelle asleep in the ant room. He wakes her up playfully, but she’s not in the mood. He tries to engage her in conversation, telling her to get up so that she won’t be awake all night, but she just grunts irritably. He tells her that he just had a long talk with Erika; he lies and says he told Erika that when she whispers in his ear she’s threatening to evict him. Janelle isn’t amused, and just wants to sleep, so he gives up and leaves her alone.
The camera follows Will to the kitchen, where more meat is being cooked – turkey burgers this time. With their insane schedule, I’d venture to say that even though it’s about 5:00 P.M., this counts as lunch for the group. After eating, the camera follows Will again as he tries to get Janelle out of bed again, but she tells him she’s sleepy.
Now who’s the one used to getting his way? Will, thwarted by his toy hamster, seems bored and irritable. He tries to lay down in the bedroom with Janelle, but he’s too restless. He heads upstairs to listen to the Coldplay CD again. He ends up in the backyard, where he kicks around a beach ball until it lands on the roof.
Danielle, Chicken George, and Erika (Boogie is asleep inside, but he has the excuse of being on medication, at least) are in the back yard, talking about their seasons and rehashing events from this season, like George’s 24-minute performance in the POV competition this week. You can hear a faint sound of construction, and Will gets up to shout to the sky: “What are you building? For the love of God, what are you creating?” Danielle creeps behind the couch to smoke again, and George invites Erika into the hot tub, saying he’s going to “make Chicken soup.” Not surprisingly, Erika tells him no thank you, she doesn’t feel like putting on a bathing suit. Will points out to Danielle that a camera can see her clearly, even back there, but she says it doesn’t bother her. Um, okay.
Will tests the patience of BB by continually singing. We hear the polite, “Will, please stop singing” evolve into an annoyed, “Will, knock it off!” from Big Brother. Will decides he will burn some backyard furniture so that the fire department has to come. He compromises on making a smoky fire in the fire pit, then tells the others they should wake Janelle by telling her the house is on fire, then have her run outside and see. The others ignore him and continue their conversation about concerts they have attended.
Boogie has woken up, and he comes out to the backyard in an even pissier mood than before his nap. He asks Will if he and “his little doll friend” ate the cookies he had stashed up in the HOH room. Will sputters a no, and Boogie says that it must be one of them, because they’re gone. They rib him a little, because he sounds genuinely ticked off. Will wants to know if he’s serious; doesn’t he think Will would just ask him for a cookie, and what was he doing stashing his HOH treats anyway?
Boogie: I think you and your little friend got drunk on wine and you went in there and ate them.
Danielle: What, did you get up looking for some cookies or something?
Boogie: No, there is other stuff missing. Hamburger Helper is missing.
Will: Wait, why were you stashing Hamburger Helper?
Boogie: I wasn't stashing it. I just put everything in a bucket and then dumped it in the drawer.
Will: If I got Hamburger Helper in my HOH basket I would put it in the pool.
Erika tells him it will be okay, and the others think that Big Brother was probably the culprit, since they’re on food restriction. “They better not have,” Boogie says darkly.
Name Dropping, Ahoy!
Boogie has driven Shannen Doherty’s Land Rover, and he [airquote] drove [/airquote] Paris Hilton for about four minutes. Erika shares that she “had a fling” with Matthew McConaughey when she was 26.
The houseguests discuss one-night stands; Boogie makes it sound like he’s fighting off the hotties every night. Janelle and Erika both say that they have never had one, and that their friends haven’t either. Boogie is incredulous, and tells Janelle that at Tantra (where she hangs out with girlfriends, it seems) he bets that there’s 50 girls every night going home with men. He thinks Erika and Janelle’s friends are lying to them, but he makes it sound like he thinks they’re lying, too.
Janelle says she would know, because she’s never had a friend say she was going home “with some random dude” instead of her at the end of the night. All of her friends have boyfriends; they’re not hooking up in clubs. As for Janelle, she’s the girl in the club who will tell a guy trying to hit on one of her friends, “Who the hell are you?” She says that when she goes out with her girlfriends, she’s there to see them, and she can buy her own drinks. “Are you sure about that,” taunts Boogie. “Maybe you need a doctor for a sponsor.” Janelle says she can pay for everything herself – she doesn’t need anyone.
Boogie seems bent on riling Will and Janelle tonight. He says that after the show, he wants them all to have a wild weekend in Vegas, and Will and Janelle can have a fake 24-hour wedding. Will says no, Boogie would substitute a real preacher and “I’ll be spending the next week getting an annulment.” Boogie jumps on that statement; why would he want to dissolve the marriage? “So we can get married for real in Minnesota,” replies Will smoothly.
Boogie continues to push, though, wanting to know what they will do if they get out to find they’ve both been dumped. Will says that he’ll have to take it day by day. “It’s a flirtmance. Don’t make it weird.” Boogie snaps, “Me? I’m making it weird?” Will says no, he was talking to himself there. Hmm, it didn’t sure didn’t sound that way.
Erika tells Boogie that she doesn’t appreciate being called a liar (referring to Boogie’s comments about one-night stands). Operation Double Date is starting to look like Operation Dog Your Date. Erika, Will and Janelle break off from the group, leaving Boogie with Chicken George and Danielle. He explains his irritable behavior – he thinks Will and Janelle are acting like hypocrites, saying they are just friends but hanging out under the covers in pajamas, Will with his shirt off…he just thinks Erin shouldn’t have to see that. Who knew Boogie had a conscience?
Boogie and Will Get Even More Recap Time
Boogie is worried enough that he heads straight up to the HOH room to talk to Will privately. He wants to know the bottom line – what is he starting with Janelle; where is his head, and what does Janelle think? It doesn’t look good for the true love believers, as Will tells Boogie that:
- He’s hinted to Janelle that they have a future together, but he’s lying.
- Janelle definitely thinks they are hooking up – or more – after the show.
- He loves Erin Brodie, and wants the Internet to know that. It’s just a strategy.
- Boogie needs to be sweet to the girls. There’s no need to start arguments.
- They need to go for HOH tomorrow and put up both girls; that way, one of them will go no matter what.
Boogie shares that he asked Erika if she wanted him to act more like Will, and she said no, because what they have “is real.” He laughs at the thought, and Will tells him to make nice with Erika. It’s not one of Boogie’s more endearing moments.
They head downstairs, and Boogie tells Erika that Will gave him a lecture about being nice to people. Will says that he just wants everyone to play house and be nice, have fun! Outside, Danielle is telling the backyard crew about her season for the umpteenth time; she says she’d rather go home tomorrow than lose 9-1 like she did the first time, then heads to bed.
Even though it’s after midnight, Will is called to the DR. He asks if he can bring Janelle, and Boogie gripes, “Do you guys go anywhere in this house without each other?" They head off for a good giggly DR session, and Boogie tells George that it’s nauseating.
Everyone’s in bed except for the absent Janelle and Will. They emerge at about 1:00 o’clock, and Janelle is giving Will the cold shoulder. It sounds like the DR session was a lot of flirtmance/showmance/NOmance talk, and she says that the world is going to be laughing at her. Will says that he’s trying to give them good sound bites, that’s all. They head outside to play cards, but the cameras inexplicably stay on sleeping houseguests inside.
Why I Hate Big Brother
At this point, with four feeds on sleeping hamsters, I figured we were done for the night. Big Brother was giving Will and Janelle privacy, damn him; maybe they were trying to hash out their differences in a way that involved a lot of singing and name-dropping of people who didn’t sign waivers. Why else would they film Boogie sleeping instead of Will and Janelle in the back yard? I hate you, BB.
But what’s this? At around 2:00 in the morning, Boogie gets out of bed and wanders outside, and the camera follows him – the first time ever I’ve been happy to follow Boogie anywhere on the feeds. He finds Will and Janelle playing cards, and they tell him a little about their shared DR session, saying they were asked about Boogie’s showmance with Erika (ewww) and his masturbation habits (double, triple, infinite good-God-we-don’t-want-to-know ewww!). Boogie tells him that doesn’t mind, though; he thinks it’s funny. What a happy-go-lucky friend he is.
The conversation turns to Janelle’s fallen comrades; does she know that Howie was “dead weight”, Will wants to know? She says that she does, but she doesn’t care. Will and Boogie say they wanted to keep Kaysar, but Danielle controlled the votes, so they knew their two votes to keep him wouldn’t matter. Will makes a rare slip: he says that the week Howie left, James asked them where their votes were going, then said “Cool, I want to throw him a vote.” Will says he told James, “Whatever, dude.” Janelle is nodding, then she registers what he just said. “Wait, why would he do that?” Carry the two, Janelle. Do the math. Will changes the subject, leaving that question unanswered.
The talk turns to the –mances; apparently, Will is telling the DR they are a “flirtmance”, not a “fauxmance.” Boogie asks what the definition of a “homance” would be, and Janelle’s response is immediate: “Amanda.” Will adds that the definition of a homance is when a girl hooks up with a guy and he doesn’t even throw her a vote. Hmmm. Speaking of, Janelle asks Boogie if he and Erika have had sex. Boogie just smiles and says that he considers…well, let’s just go all medical terminology here for a moment to keep it within PG-13 guidelines. Oral or manual stimulation equals intercourse in Boogie’s mind. Okay, I’m off to shower for about three hours because I’ll never be clean again. *rocking back and forth with thumb in mouth*
Throughout this conversation, Will and Janelle are sitting with a pillow buffer between them, but they’re often holding hands underneath. And yet, Will seems to be dropping hints in her direction, saying he was the one voted Most Likely to Break Hearts, after all. He repeats what he said earlier, that the flirtmance talk in the DR is all for show…and yet, this is a different Will from last night by far.
As Woogie and their Janie doll head in the house for the night, Erika gets up, restless. Big Brother has already turned off the lights for the night, so she sits in the dining room, staring at the memory wall in the darkness. She wanders around, eventually heading back to bed at 5:00 in the morning. She knows she won’t have to play in the next HOH competition, but she’s probably going to regret staying up all night when she finds out she will be playing in the competition right after – which speculation says will take place during the live show. Whoopsie.
Thursday is show day, and there’s not much more than snores and flames. In fact, BB kept the cameras on sleeping bedrooms even though we could faintly hear what sounded like harp music on somewhere else in the house, and muted conversation. It sounded like someone doing a bad Arnold Schwarzenegger impression. Is someone on the crew is a classical music fan? We got a flash of the backyard, where a contraption has been built for the live show – some sort of wheel that has been divided up with the houseguests names on it. Now that’s funny, I know I saw George’s name. I guess BB is confident that Danielle is getting the nod, too.
Just before noon, the feeds come back and the music is still playing – this time, the camera is on the kitchen, where George is washing dishes and bopping to the stylin’ sounds of Hooked on Classics. Where are the flames when you need them?
Be sure to tune in tonight -- of all shows this season, tonight’s is the one to watch!
Here’s to hoping Danielle goes apecrap in front of Julie Chen. – hepcat