*This is a recap of events from noon Sunday to noon Monday*
So, as I settle into my chair, armed with snacks and a bladder-buster-sized iced tea, I turn on my feeds to start my shift. What's the first thing I hear? Boogie's squeaky little voice, yammering on about the Geisha House. Again. I tell you, even if I lived in L.A., I wouldn't go near the place just because he won't shut the hell up about it. I don't care of they have the best food on the West Coast, I'm sick of his pimping. Just in case you couldn't tell, I'm no Mike Boogie fan.
Small talk soon turns to strategy, as Will, Janelle, and Boogie are outside sipping coffee and munching cereal. Will, by the way, is in dire need of a haircut. I'm just sayin'. Will cuts off the whole "what are we going to do" conversation by saying that they'll just get rid of James this week, and reassess what they'll do later. Apparently James is still bitching and banging on his high-chair about losing the veto comp to Janelle, complaining that she cheated and the whole show is rigged. He refuses to wear his mic, he won't adjust his mic, and he won't talk to Janelle. Janie seems to be a little upset that James is still talking trash, and Will tells her not to worry about it. He tells her that she's very interesting to him because she's such a badass at times, yet she's so sensitive about her friendships. She doesn't reply, and they continue their game of Gin Rummy until Danielle saunters outside. Janelle goes inside for some breakfast.
This had me rolling: Danielle tells Will about a dream she had, where she saw her family riding around in a pimped out, pearl Escalade. They drive up to Dani and say "Sorry, there's no room for you!" as she spies Janelle in the car, looking all Jackie-O fabulous with her hair up. Janellousy? I think so.
I switch feeds to find Chicken George in the shower, and Boogie in the bathroom talking to him. Ugh. The things a live feed watcher must endure. They think the Sunday show is going to be a good one, what with all the goings-on from the weekend. It sounds like Howie was close to knocking little Boogie's block off after getting evicted Friday (I'd pay good money to see that), and they just know he trashed them during his chat with Julie. They make fun of Howie's intelligence, thinking that he couldn't form a coherent sentence if he tried. Yeah, because you two are Rhodes Scholars. Jerks. Boogie whines about getting scratched up during the veto comp, digging for dolls and running around fake idols. They both cackle at their lame jokes like a couple of hyenas, and Boogie goes up to the HoH room to find that he's locked himself out. Karma strikes again.
George goes to find Janelle, and they share a laugh over the game. Janelle can't believe she fought a 30-yr. old man for a doll, which cracks George up. He's got one of those crazy laughs, almost like he's gasping for air. He can't believe the things they've done for the sake of the game, and brings up his classy "Mr. Fart" t-shirts as an example. George implores Janie to have fun for the rest of the game - eat all the ice cream if she wants to! Who cares what they think? She giggles as they rehash old competitions, and it's nice to see her out of the funk she was in earlier.
Will is talking with Boogie up in the HoH room (after they let him in), and it sounds like Boogie is going to put Chicken George up. Will says he will assure CG that he's not leaving the house (famous last words). They want James gone, but don't want to upset Dani in the process. Will and Boogie discuss how to tell her before the vote goes down so she won't be blindsided and take it out on them. Chilltown wants to keep the Dani-Janie feud going for as long as they can.
Some other tidbits from the afternoon:
- Danielle thinks Howie's antics were borderline harassment. (Borderline?)
- Boogie has yet another ear infection, if anyone cares. I don't.
- Will managed to kick himself in the leg while playing with a ball in the house. It brought him to the floor as he howled in pain. Was it an act? Maybe. Probably.
- Danielle has taken to calling herself "Mother Doom." Insert your own jokes here.
- James was told by BB that he would not be allowed to see footage of the veto comp, and he wouldn't be allowed to see his contract right now. But they did offer him a clean diaper and a pacifier. No, not really. But they should.
James, the broken record, still won't let it die. He's still blaming Janelle for cheating, and now Chicken George for reading the instructions wrong. He wants to see his contract to make sure he'd get his money if he gave his DOR. (Please, please do, James) Yep, it's one big ol' conspiracy against poor James. I'm sure even the spiders will be blamed at some point. Danielle says she wants a beer because it helps her to think, and James says that won't solve their problems. For someone who swore on the Bible (I heard her!) that she wasn't going to drink in the house again, Dani sure does pine for the booze a lot. Or maybe she just wants to drown out James' whining.
Janelle: "Why are there so many flies in the backyard?"
Will: "Because we're so full of sh**."
Perhaps in attempt to break the Curse Of The Red Room, Chicken George has taken it upon himself to redecorate. Something to tone down the ominous blood-red walls, perhaps? Or maybe some of that boring Ikea-like stuff from the HoH room? Who are we kidding, this is the Chicken Man we're talking about. This dude has planted little tropical drink umbrellas everywhere (one of the rubber rats is holding an umbrella, too), scattered M&M's on top of a table, made decorations with the shuttlecocks from the badminton game, and he's even made some kind of contraption out of Erika's hair-coloring cap. Just wait, I'm sure he'll bust out the aluminum foil soon. If there are any malevolent spirits hanging around, one look at all of these freaky charms will send them packing. Poor George. I think the lack of real food has atrophied his brain along with his waist.
And here we have James - guess what - complaining. It never ends. He's been to every single person in the house, excluding Janelle, to bitch about the veto comp. Even Danielle has had enough, telling him to drop it. He doesn't. James cries to Will, who tries to get a basketball goal to give them something new to do (and perhaps shut James up). James says he'll refuse to play: "Why should I give them more footage of me to use?" He then tries to whine to Erika, who quickly makes herself scarce. Boogie is lying by the pool with a towel over his face (thank you for that, Boogie), and even he makes some snide comments. James can't take a hint, though. Shut it, James!
Will complains that Janelle hasn't flirted with him today, so she takes him upstairs to play chess. He claims that he doesn't know how to play (which I find hard to believe) and both George and Janie think he's full of it too, but she "teaches" him anyway. Will names the king after himself, and calls the queen Janelle. Much flirting and batting of eyelashes ensues as they play their game. It's so damn cute, I can't stand it. If this is an act between these two, it's a good one.
Boogie and Will later offer a deal to George - they tell him that they want to put him up as a pawn, but assure him he'll be safe. They'll make the house believe that they want George gone, but vote out James instead. George talks about how hard it was to put Howie up because they were friends, and he justifies his decision a bit by saying that at least Howie got to play in the veto comp, while Janelle didn't. She's too great of a player to go out like that, says George. Chilltown assures him once again that he'll be safe, don't worry. Worry, Georgie, worry.
Rant #2398: James is now complaining to Danielle that Chicken George has no business being on the All-Stars show (like James does?). He seems to think that George was afraid of the backlash he'd get if he put up Janelle, and that's why he didn't do it. The pity party just keeps rollin' along....
When George leaves, Chilltown then goes to Janelle to work their magic. Or, at least Will's magic. Boogie confides that his "special power" is now null and void (is this the power to annoy and disgust millions of people at once? No? Damn.). He tells Janie what the Coup D'Etat was, and *poof* there goes another useless twist in the history of Big Brother, never to be used. Will explains to her that they want James out now, with Danielle being booted right after him. Skeptical, Janie asks if they have a deal with Dani and Erika. Oh no, not us! says Will. Janelle is afraid that James will end up staying, but they reassure her that it will be a tie, and Boogie will break it, voting out James. She doesn't like breaking her promise to James to not vote him out, but Will reminds her that James isn't her number one fan right now, and wants her gone. Janelle says she's afraid that Chilltown will come after her next. Will says he wants her in the final three with them, and they talk more about splitting the money. She finally agrees to vote James out, and they all agree to pretend that they hate each other.
Will throws one more odd comment in: he says he's trying to tell her something without coming out and saying it directly so that nobody will know (both in the house and on the Internet) - "Are you picking up what I'm throwing down?" Yes, she replies. Hmm. Interpret that as you wish, dear readers.
Erika and Danielle have it out over who they think should get voted out this week. Erika wants to keep George, but Dani insists that he go because he's protecting Janelle. He's also a dangerous player, he's a snitch, and he farts a lot. Okay, I made that last one up. Danielle browbeats Erika until she agrees with her: Chicken George must go.
Night falls, and not much is going on besides the nightly hot-tub soak and general chit-chat. BB has given them some alcohol, much to Dani's delight. She actually hid some of the beer in her room! Will doesn't want any beer, and tells her that she can have his share. James has thankfully pouted his way to sleep, and unless he's learned to sleep-whine, we'll be spared for a while. Janie and Will talk about their relationships (if they still have one when they get out of the house, that is) and Will admits that he was asked to be on the Bachelor. Now that, I would watch. Janelle and Will end up taking a shower together in the double shower stall, separated only by a towel. They flirt, and he gives her skin tips. Aww.
Dani does some damage control, talking to the camera (and us) about how she's the frumpiest houseguest ever in her ratty bathrobe. (Raise your hand if you agree! I thought so.) She tells Sarah that she's looking out for James, but she may need to partner with Janelle in the future. Don't hate me for playing the game, she says! Danielle says the only reason she's here is for the fans, and I choke on my tea at that little bit of BS. She then proclaims that if she can't get Janelle out of the house, she might as well team up with her. "May the best bitch win! If you can't beat them, join them." A drunk Dani is a weird Dani.
James and his attitude have woken up, and he chats with Danielle about booting George this week. Dani says that James really needs to chill out, that he threw a pie at one of the little people in the comp (you've got to be kidding me - this is a new low)! James doesn't listen, and trashes Janelle some more. Then he trashes Erika, calling her a waste of space. Hey, something we agree on. The two talk about backdooring Janelle since that's the only way to get rid of her. They also think that they're smarter than Will (ha!), and can't believe people trust him. Dani tells James that he needs to mend fences with Janelle, because if she wins HoH, it's their butts on the block. Wow. James is really confident that he's staying, isn't he?
Most of the hamsters hit the sheets early, but Janelle seems restless and gets up several times. Will quietly watches her leave the room each time, until she finally lies down and goes to sleep. 10 am, and not a hamster is stirring, except for Dani. BB announces the veto ceremony will be held in two hours, and everyone begins dragging themselves out of bed. They get ready for the day, and I'm thinking my shift is done - but wait! Right before we go to flames, Danielle has offered Janelle a one-week truce, saying that "she sees what's going on in the house." Janelle agrees to the cease-fire. Whoa. Didn't see that one coming. As my time comes to a close, James is blathering on to Chicken George about blaming God for being nominated, since everything in life is predetermined. Somehow, I don't think God gives a rat's ass about reality shows.
Thursday can't get here fast enough for me.
Taking up a collection to get James his own doll since Janie took his....email@example.com