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Thread: 8/16 Big Brother Live Feed Recap – “You Look Like a 1970's Gay Hedgehog”

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    Retired! hepcat's Avatar
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    8/16 Big Brother Live Feed Recap – “You Look Like a 1970's Gay Hedgehog”

    This recap covers Wednesday noon to Thursday noon.

    The anticipation is building; who will be voted class clown, or the hamster most likely to curl up in a corner and suck their thumb? You heard right – it’s almost Prom Night in the Big Brother house. You’ll have to wait for the live show to find out how Big Brother is planning to heap on the humiliation, awkward-stage-teenager-style, but at least by the end of the recap you’ll know what the girls are planning to wear. And I highly recommend advance warning when it comes to Chicken George formal wear; that getup could damage the unprepared.

    The Last Day for Erika Marcellas Erika Marcellas – Oh, I Don’t Know!
    • Howie dyed his hair and his facial hair with hilariously smarmy results.
    • Big Brother unveiled a rack of retro 70’s promwear and the hamsters were allowed to choose an outfit for the live show on Thursday.
    • The Legion of Doom is showing cracks. What, it’s not the most perfect alliance in the history of the world?
    • Janelle is worried that Marcellas doesn’t have the votes he thinks he has.
    • James is increasingly aware that if Erika is on the Chill Town ticket, they don’t need him and his superhero alliance names.
    • Today was a slop day; lots of hamsters tried to sleep through the day instead of eating so they could get up at midnight and eat real food.
    • And…it turns out they didn’t even have to wait until midnight, because some whining on Boogie’s part resulted in Big Brother caving in and letting them eat at 9:00.
    • The hamsters think the HOH competition will most likely be a question/answer quiz, not anything physical, and not a “crap shoot.” Unless it’s a dance-off of some sort.

    My shift begins with the hamsters sitting around groggily making small talk and posing with the weekly HOH camera (for the pictures that get posted on the CBS website). They’re on slop, and even though it’s only for one day, James and Boogie are especially incensed at having to restrict their diet. James curses the judges for not passing Danielle’s dish (the slopcakes). He seems more angry than the situation merits, and is snippy with George, who has expertly prepared him a plate of slop. The poor guy’s eaten enough slop to feed a small herd of cows for a year, but James doesn’t summon up any sympathy; in fact, he tastes the slop and declares, “It’s horrible. This slop sucks [bleeeeeep].” Sorry, folks, James has reached his vulgarity limit with me, and it’s only a few minutes past noon. It wouldn’t kill him to be polite for a change, either.

    I wonder about Erika sometimes. She’s fresh out of a relationship with Josh from BB1, and it was a five-year relationship, according to the rumor mill. While playing checkers with Chicken George, Erika tells James about her near-engagement with Josh. But instead of a ring on her finger, when it came to the sticking point, he told her that he couldn’t be sure she was “the one”. Ouch. She says that she wishes he could have told her a few years ago. I guess that offer to flash her boobs for a little extra booze the other night was the pain talking.

    Janelle finds Marcellas alone, and asks him if he’s sure he has Danielle’s vote. He says he does. Janelle looks worried, then asks again if he’s sure about her vote, and Marcellas, sounding a little worried too, says that he thinks so. When he goes over it in his head, though, he admits that she didn’t so much say that he had her vote so much as she implied it. Ruh roh. Janelle says that she’s a little suspicious because Danielle seems to be so close to Erika.

    Downstairs, Chicken George is jokingly being accused of making up a wife and kids at home (“it’s his plan so he could have a showmance,” Danielle cracks). Upstairs, Will and Janelle are upstairs reading the Bible. Will asks her to read out loud, but Janelle says that he’ll think she’s a dork if she does. Then she asks archly, “Would you like me to read to you about betrayal?” Will’s agreeable to that, but luckily for him, Erika shows up before Janelle can find a suitable passage.

    Erika, who works for CBS and might have a little insider knowledge, tells them that she’s heard that sequester will be “tropical” this year. Will and Janelle are excited, but I’m not sure they should be counting their airplane peanuts yet, as I know I’ve heard Chicken George say at some point that he doesn’t have a passport. Maybe CBS never expected the Poultry Man to get to sequester. Would they really put an All-Star cast up in Napa again? I think they should as payback for the incessant whining.

    Stupid Popularity Contests

    Mid-afternoon, the hamsters are put on a short outdoor lockdown. When the house is opened again, they are so excited they are squealing with glee. They’ve apparently been told they are invited to a prom, and there are racks of clothes inside for their perusal. Instead of the usual grousing, most everyone seems pretty jazzed to be going to the prom again, and they eagerly select outfits to try on. These dresses and tuxes are a little funky, though; they have tags the year they were in style listed on them. This year’s prom theme is Retro, baby.

    So we know the theme for the live show will be Prom Night, and if you’ve been paying attention to Julie Chen during the ad breaks, you know about the silly “Who is Most Likely to Wake Up in a Puddle of Their Own Filth” questions; how does this work into an HOH competition? The houseguests may not know that America is voting on the prom questions, but they do know that the outfits mean that the HOH competition will not be physical. They were instructed not to muck up the clothes; apparently, they’re due back at whatever vintage shop loaned them out for a few days. Therefore, the competition can’t involve any straining or sweating – not even the bodice struggling manfully to contain Erika’s bountiful bosoms. Okay, I know that was a cheap shot, but you get the idea. An all-night dance competition to Bee Gees tunes might hurt the duds.

    The competition also won’t be a “crap shoot”, as the hamsters like to call it. That means, no bocce balls, no sliding a key across a board. Any time that Big Brother does that type of HOH competition, they let the houseguests practice the night before. They also know BB won’t be pulling out anything electronic, so a Dance Dance Revolution competition is right out, dammit. Seriously, I wanted to see that.

    So it’s likely to be Q&A. Expect a lot of, “Who do you think was voted ‘Most Likely to Be Shot By Dick Cheney,’ Howie or Marcellas?” from Julie Chen tomorrow.

    For now, let’s just ponder the girls’ fashion. Erika chooses a ho-lengthed sparkly pink sheath, but Janelle throws her a better choice : an elegant, strapless, velvety-looking black evening gown that hugs her slim frame without bursting out at the bosom. Marcellas zips it up for her, and remarks that Erika doesn’t seem to be wearing any underwear. Janelle settles on a dark red spaghetti strap dress that hugs her like a long-lost child; oddly, she teams it up with a teal boa, so maybe she was switching over to an entirely different dress and I missed it. Danielle picks a pale pink satin number with a keyhole neck and a frilly skirt that looks fantastic on her. Marcellas favors a light orangey-tan leisure suit.

    As for the menfolk, I know there were some jackets and tuxes in there, but I was blinded by the sight of Chicken George doing his best to outshine Elton John. He asks Erika if it’s over the top, but would a “Yes, God, yes, a thousand times YES” discourage him? So why even ask, George? You know you’re still going to wear the silver sequined jacket no matter what she says.

    While the other houseguests are still finding clothes and swapping prom stories, Marcellas gets Danielle alone and takes the chance to discuss game. He passes along what Janelle told him earlier, that Boogie and Will pressured her to put him up, and that now she’s upset that they’re going to vote against what they promised her. He says that they have three votes to keep him, and Janelle will now have to break the tie.

    Danielle’s counting up Marcellas’ votes in her head, and it doesn’t add up for her. “James, Howie, and who? Chicken George?”

    Marcellas reminds her that the third vote would be hers. “Oh,” says Danielle awkwardly. *crickets*

    Later in the afternoon, Danielle does try to break the news to Marcellas that he’s probably being voted out, but she manages to make it sound like it’s Chill Town’s fault, not that her own vote will go against him. She says she’s “having a Diane moment” – she doesn’t know what’s going on. I think feed watchers this season know the feeling, Danielle. Evidently the camera people have heard enough strategy for a lifetime, as they scuttle the conversation by hitting the flames button at odd times and mucking with the audio. It’s like someone is sitting there, hitting the FLAMES button in time to whatever music is playing on his iPod. Score 1 for Boredom. Information, 0.

    The clothes go into the DR for storage, and after a bout of flames, the house comes back to Danielle, Will and Boogie finishing a conversation we missed in the weight room. It sounds like Danielle was arguing for telling Marcellas he’s getting the boot, and Boogie and Will want him to be shocked on the live show. After they leave, she sits crouched in the corner, looking disturbed; after all, she just did tell Marcellas. Maybe it won't get back to her boys.

    The afternoon passes slowly. No one wants to eat slop, and several of them try to sleep away the afternoon to make the time pass faster. They’ve got their eye on the clock – at midnight, they can pig out. Boogie is especially crabby about the day of slop. This is the first time he’s had to be on slop, and suddenly, it’s his cause celebre as if he’s never noticed the other unlucky hamsters clutching their stomachs and rolling around on the carpet because they’re too weak after days of slop to do anything else. He works the others up by saying they didn’t really get the barbecue they were promised last Sunday – something about not enough chicken to go around – and he starts naming names on the production staff. That brings flames, and when they come back, apparently a compromise has been reached. Big Brother will let them eat at 9:00, and Boogie won’t whine about the BBQ anymore. It’s obvious BB has given up on any loving discipline when it comes to these guys. They stamp their feet, throw a tantrum, and BB caves.

    James Gets His Panties In a Wad

    With the fiasco of the veto competition seeming to fall solely on James’ shoulders, he is finally starting to feel that the he’s taking more heat than the others in the Legion of Doom. Geez, I can’t even type that grandiose name without giggling. It’s so obvious that James sees this alliance as his big chance at Big Brother fame. It’s almost worth all the posturing about how smart he and his alliance members are just to see him squirm when he’s realizing it may not be the circle of superheroes he envisioned.

    James commiserates with Janelle – Janelle, mind you, who has been the single-minded focus of his hatred for weeks – about feeling used by Chill Town. Janelle says she’s sick of being talked into moves by Chill Town, and James says they’ve had three HOH’s now, two where Janelle did what they wanted, and James’ own week, where Jase was booted the way they wished. Janelle thinks that Boogie controls that group, not Will, which James files away for future reference. He thinks Janelle and Erika were kept in the game by Chill Town solely because they are swayed by all the wooing and showering, which doesn’t work on Danielle or Marcellas, so they want one of those two out. Janelle swears that she doesn’t trust Will or Boogie anymore. But let’s not forget that Will made her a heart-shaped slop cake earlier in the day; she’ll be back under his spell by morning.

    Later, James goes to work on Danielle, telling her that the two of them have “stepped up” but Will and Boogie aren’t paying any consequences. Danielle defends “her boys”, saying they saved her when it was necessary, but James points out that he is taking the heat for saving Danielle, not Will or Boogie. And she is the one Janelle will target next. But what will happen if Erika stays in the house; will she put up Will or Boogie? No, because she’s in a relationship with Boogie! Of course they want to save her over Marcellas.

    Danielle tries to deflect James by saying they will talk later, but James is too worked up to put off the game talk for long. He finds Will and Boogie and they sit down to discuss for the umpteenth time which hamster should get the boot. Will and Boogie push for Marcellas to go, saying that he will go after them if he wins HOH, whereas they witnessed Erika shaking hands with Janelle and promising to put up Danielle if she wins HOH. They think she’ll throw HOH to avoid having to come through on her promise. Marcellas is just a wild, loose cannon who would turn on James in an instant. Howie joins the conversation mid-way and the same old arguments are hashed and rehashed again.

    But the conversation breaks up when Danielle unexpectedly opens the door to the red room, sees the four men huddled up together, and takes stock of the situation. “I’m winning HOH, just so you know!” she says, and slams out of the room. It’s good to know someone in that house has a sense of humor.

    Flamin’ Mad at…Jenga?

    It’s two hours until the food ban is lifted, but Danielle is up to her elbows in raw meat. Under the critical eye of James, who asks her if she used the lean cuts (she shushes him), she is preparing to bake some sort of massive meat loaf that will be ready for the 9:00 feast. She swears that her husband is watching the feeds and cursing that he’s not there for his wife’s cooking. Did anyone else notice that crouton she snuck on the sly? Come on, Big Brother, let’s see an All Star penalty nomination!

    Outside, Will calmly takes a roll of paper towels and pulls them off one by one. He takes the cardboard center and stands it up in the fire pit, holding it up with Jenga pieces. He sticks the paper towels through the middle of the Jenga grid. He’s not going to…yes, he is! He’s building a Jenga fire pit. What petty demand did he make that Big Brother didn’t meet this time? Instead of lighting a campfire, he leaves the tower to join Chicken George and Boogie in the hot tub.

    Before the food hour arrives, though, Will is back in the HOH, wooing Janelle hard yet again. But today’s Janelle is tired of the Chill Town boys trying to sell her that the situation has changed and Erika is such a better choice to keep than Marcellas. Will tells her that Erika will either throw the HOH competition next week, or she will put up Danielle as she promised Janelle. But Janelle is fresh off a POV competition that magically landed in Danielle’s lap, so she’s not counting on a nomination spelling an instant eviction. She reminds Will that Erika would be free to put up Janelle as a POV replacement – nope, she’s not buying it. Did he tell Boogie yet that the plan is to evict Erika? Will ducks the question.

    That Gay Hedgehog Comment

    After dinner, Erika lets Janelle dye her roots, which attracts a crowd in the bathroom. Before you can say “attack of the metrosexuals,” the men decide to alter Howie’s newly grown goatee into a long Geraldo mustache. Someone hits on the idea of dying the mustache, then adding stripes to Howie’s head…the result is a fluffy-haired Howie who looks like a 70’s porn star, minus the ubiquitous chest hair. Will and Chicken George were the stripe painters, and there may have been a plan to put a “CT” on the back of Howie’s head, but the end result is this:

    While Howie was shocking hairdressers nationwide by defiantly leaving the hair dye on longer than 45 minutes, Will was trying to light the Jenga campfire he made earlier in the evening. The cardboard and paper towels burned well, but the treated wood of the Jenga pieces resisted at first. Eventually, the fire burned brightly and the hamsters gathered around, breathing the chemical-laden fumes and joking about roasting marshmallows.

    Will finally explains why he’s burning the Jenga set. When he was in the DR, he wanted to talk about Howie’s mustache, but they told him they were doing “CBS wireless” at the moment and wouldn’t let him talk about it. They record the houseguests answering stupid, non-threatening questions that somewhere, some avid BB fan is downloading to a cell phone. They all agree the questions are stupid and hard to answer because they are so pollyanna and useless. Is anyone else surprised we haven’t had flames by now? Will was asked what his favorite moment in the house was this week, and he answered, “Burning Jenga.” So when he left the DR, he burned Jenga.

    James and Danielle sit on the hammock in the back yard for yet another talk, not even worrying if they’re seen talking together; these little duos aren’t secret anymore. James falls into his old pattern of saying how stupid Janelle is, and how he can’t believe she’s still in the game. But his focus is a little different this time. He points out to Danielle that the farther they go in the game, the better position Chill Town is in, and their own position is worse. What’s laughable is he trashes Janelle for thinking Boogie is the sneaky one in that twosome, and that Will is being genuine with them. The reason I’m laughing is not because James is wrong about Will, but that he’s been swallowing Chill Town’s lies for at least as long as Janelle has, if not longer. If she’s “so f***ing stupid”, what does that make him? He tells Danielle:

    James: We are in a f***ing predicament here. Chill Town is playing all the angles.

    Their talk is interrupted by the arrival of Howie and his hair, which prompts James to call him a 1970’s gay hedgehog. We have a recap title, folks!

    Late Night – Same Old Same Old

    Up in the HOH, the argument continues about Erika versus Marcellas. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard every discussion point possible about these two all week, and I don’t turn on the feeds on days I’m not recapping. I would rather dip my head in a bucket of sulfuric acid than try to recreate the conversation one more freaking time. It’s the same scenario. Everyone but Janelle wants to keep Erika. Everyone hates Marcellas, including Janelle. They know she’s pissed, and they bring up the same points to try to bring her to Jesus. Danielle talks about voting to keep Marcellas so she can look like she believes that redemption crap that was spewed the other night, but she wants everyone else to vote against him so that she can be the one looking like she’s got a heart and everyone else will be the bad guys. Janelle resorts to flipping a coin in support of her argument. The others (Howie, Will, Boogie, James) aren’t going for saving Marcellas, but they offer to stage a fight so that Janelle can save face with Marcellas, as if she’s been betrayed.

    Look, I can’t tell you how the vote is going to play out. But I can say that Will, Boogie, Howie, James and Danielle really, really, REALLY want to evict Marcellas. How they will spin it is anyone’s guess at this point, but I’m putting money on Erika to stay in the house. Chicken George will do what he’s told by Danielle, so I really don’t think the brooding boy in a bathrobe has a chance. If he stays it will be a Big Brother miracle, right up there with whole day of fart-free talk. It’s just not going to happen.

    As I was turning off the computer for the night, I heard Howie bust out with a “What the f*** did they do to my f***ing hair?” He’s just now noticing?

    Thursday morning dawns, and the houseguests are asleep like good little vampires. Danielle is up comparatively early; for a brief moment, Marcellas gets up to use the bathroom, where they intersect. Marcellas was tossing and turning all night from what I can see, and it’s taken a toll. He heads right back to bed, but not before telling Danielle that he doesn’t want to leave, but he won’t hold it against her if she votes him out.

    By 11:00 o’clock, the hamsters have been woken by Big Brother and they’re ready to face the day. Live show days are all about primping and cleaning house, so enjoy a day of flames, feed watchers.
    You've gotta hustle if you want to earn a dollar. - Boston Rob

  2. #2
    Awesome recap!! Thanks!! Yours are always my favorite!!

  3. #3
    CCL is offline
    Climbing Solsbury Hill CCL's Avatar
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    Sep 2004
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    Marcellas reminds her that the third vote would be hers. “Oh,” says Danielle awkwardly. *crickets*

    Great recap, hepcat.
    Before we begin, what are the parameters of the guessing game? How many guesses do I get? Is there a time limit?

  4. #4
    Looking for a way out Bubba-Jo-Lyn's Avatar
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    Apr 2004
    Quote Originally Posted by hepcat View Post
    As I was turning off the computer for the night, I heard Howie bust out with a “What the f*** did they do to my f***ing hair?” He’s just now noticing?
    Awesome recap Hepcat! Jedi Master Howie is not.
    Remember: Mentioning Jesus in your speech: small government. Doing what Jesus asked: big government - Stephen Colbert

    Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut the b*tch up with cookies. (Unknown)

  5. #5
    Mullet/Summer Enthusiast AshleyPSU's Avatar
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    Therefore, the competition can’t involve any straining or sweating – not even the bodice struggling manfully to contain Erika’s bountiful bosoms.
    Hahaha! I love your recaps Hep! Awesome job keeping us up-to-date!
    Wake up and be awesome

  6. #6
    FORT Fan Stellaluna's Avatar
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    Aug 2003
    Great recap as always!

  7. #7
    In Withdrawal joonie220's Avatar
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    Feb 2005
    Fantasy Land
    thanks hepcat! Awesome recap! Love the pics.

    psst....stole one for my avatar!

  8. #8
    Fool... but no pity. Krom's Avatar
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    Jul 2003
    And Janelle's stated "reason" for so desperately wanting the only other hot woman in the house to go is what?

    Does she really believe that Marcellas is still a secret ally to her? Is her desire to be the last woman standing at all costs so strong it makes her THAT blind?

    Danielle hopefully is smart enough to realize that she's the next target if Erika goes. Not Marcellas. Not Chicken Man. Not Chilltown. If Janelle survives another week (its getting doubtful, but she can always win the veto and then Howie begone...) she will focus her wimmin-hater targeter on Danielle again. So Marcellas HAS to go now, at least for Dani's safety.

    "You don't rehearse Mr. T, you just turn him loose."
    -----Sylvester Stallone, on Mr. T-----

  9. #9
    Having Fun! Erika221's Avatar
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    Jan 2005
    Awesome recap Hepcat! Thanks for putting it all together for us!

    Love the title

  10. #10
    Hypermediocrity Amanda's Avatar
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    Apr 2003
    Quote Originally Posted by Hepcat
    They also know BB won’t be pulling out anything electronic, so a Dance Dance Revolution competition is right out, dammit. Seriously, I wanted to see that.
    That really would have been a blast to watch. Great job, as always, Hep!

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