Bethenny Ever After

I'm so happy that Jason can move on with his life. He deserves a normal life and I'm sure he's learned a lot from his marriage to Bethenny.

I don't think Bethenny will be jumping into a third marriage any time soon. She is married to her businesses and busy raising her daughter and then there's her new TV show.

Wishing both of them the best in the 2013!

I don't know about her therapy but I do believe that Bethanny will Never get enough love or acceptance. She will always be needy and never satisfied.
Who can live with that? No one will be enough for her.

She is aware of her problems.....she is a very smart woman.....but she has decided that it is who she is and it's too late, too hard to change.
Somewhere deep inside she has not committed to really doing what it takes to change. I also think a part of her gets positive reinforcement from being a victim. I think she knows this too.
She's certainly living in the right couple decades where that's been honored.
Thanks goodness that appears to be changing.

I guess it is replaying old tapes, fear of experiencing old injuries. A shame because she has all the ingredients of a good life (as do we). Her fear becomes her reality.

So she let him go because she interpreted something he did as disrespectful or hurtful? Hmmm. He was her good luck charm. That is what I see from my recliner. Men are not a lot sensitive with their words. I do not think she could find more sensitive.

I believe Jason was expecting marriage & motherhood would change Bethenny to be more like his own mother. That is a tall order since they are total opposites. I just hope they can work out their differences at least for the sake of their daughter. I think they were both swept up in the moment, had a child & got married before they really knew each other well enough to committ to each other.
I have always though exposing yourself & your family on TV in this sort of manor is a huge mistake.

I think Bethenny's divorce gives a lot of merit to the couples who face an unexpcted baby while dating, and decide to have the child, raise it together, but not let it force them into marriage.There are plenty of couples out there like that -some celebrities, some not. It used to be seen as an outrage, but is more acceptable now. I have a friend who went that path. Her logic was that she didn't want her child to grow up with the pressure of knowing she was the reason her parents married. When their daughter was about 3 years old, they decided to get married. They entered into it knowing they both WANTED to be with each other instead of feeling like they had to be together because of the child. Their daughter is 18 now, and they are happily married. With Jason, I'm not sure whether or not he had expectations of how marriage and motherhood would change Bethenny. I'm not sure if he gave it a lot of thought, or just fell into the mindset of thinking that because she was pregnant they needed to get married. The need vs want perspective can really have a big impact on a marriage.

I really don't think Jason expected Bethenny to become more like his mother. He's a smart guy, and a guy wouldn't even have to be very smart to know, after one date, that Bethenny was not going to be the stay-at-home mom devoted to family and nothing else kind of woman. I think he was smitten with her ... she's beautiful, she's fun, she's witty, she's sexy ... and then when they got pregnant, he being the nice guy and not thinking too much about what marriage would be like for them, just decided to do "the right thing" and go for it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by AlwaysVeg

While I don't think that a woman should be forced to choose between her family and career, I do believe it's a matter of balance. None of us is in Bethenny's head or even part of her inner circle, but I think it's pretty plain that she is acting out of her issues from childhood and carrying them forward instead of resolving to break the pattern that she herself experienced as a child with a whacked-out family by whom she was not treated as important as she should have been, and of which she is so clearly a product. Yes, I do think at some point a parent, whether mother or father, could say, "I have enough money. I want to focus on my child, to make sure she grows into a happy and well-adjusted human being who isn't spending what little free time she has in a therapist's office complaining about her parents"! Does that mean she would have to give up every future career ambition she might have? No, of course not. It just means finding a good sense of balance, maybe taking on projects that don't consume the majority of her time, leaving ample quality time for a relationship with spouse and child. It reminds me of that old saying about how no one on their deathbed ever wishes they had spent more time working ... they wish they had spent more time with those who loved them and who they loved. Family and children are a precious gift -- take that from someone who has neither -- and not something to be taken for granted and tossed aside in favor of ambition, notoriety, and financial success.

---

I agree with this, and I think you touched on it but wanted to state it explicitly - that applies to spouses as well. Once you make the decision to become a family, you make decisions for the good of the family. I could be a lot further along in my career. So could my husband. We have, together, made the decisions that work the best for each of us and for our children. Right now, he is supporting me in my career to push further - the reason being I have the chance to increase my salary a lot higher and faster than he does. Once we get to a certain point, the intent is that things will shift and the support will be on him, so he can go back to school. It is a lot of push and pull. But that has to be a conscious decision of both parties to make decisions that are the best for the family. I feel like that is what Bethenny is truly lacking. She seemed to expect Jason to just join her in her ventures and help her succeed. Where was the support of him and his dreams?

Perfectly said KatesMom! I've also really wondered how drawn out or nasty their divorce could get if Jason chooses to go down that road. You hear cases all the time where one spouse makes a lot of money during a marriage, and the other spouse argues that his or her support helped to make that money therefore they deserve to have it. In Jason's case, it's been documented that he had input and provided support for Bethenny's success with Skinny Girl. Bethenny said many times that Jason was key to advising her on business decisions, helping to resolve distribution issues, etc. So it's not just a matter of "I took care of our daughter so she had time to travel and be in meetings" like a lot of divorce cases are. In this case, the business was clearly Bethenny's, but Jason's contributions to make it successful are clear (and documented on video) as well. And since the sale of Skinny Girl happened after they got married, I would guess it is not covered with any prenup they may have?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by AcookerTV

Perfectly said KatesMom! I've also really wondered how drawn out or nasty their divorce could get if Jason chooses to go down that road. You hear cases all the time where one spouse makes a lot of money during a marriage, and the other spouse argues that his or her support helped to make that money therefore they deserve to have it. In Jason's case, it's been documented that he had input and provided support for Bethenny's success with Skinny Girl. Bethenny said many times that Jason was key to advising her on business decisions, helping to resolve distribution issues, etc. So it's not just a matter of "I took care of our daughter so she had time to travel and be in meetings" like a lot of divorce cases are. In this case, the business was clearly Bethenny's, but Jason's contributions to make it successful are clear (and documented on video) as well. And since the sale of Skinny Girl happened after they got married, I would guess it is not covered with any prenup they may have?

---

While I agree with you and your points 100% I just don't see it ever coming to that . . . and I say that solely because of the type of person Jason appears to be. If the tables were turned, I could see Bethenny fighting for what she could get. I don't think Jason will do that, but of course that is just based on the person we see on TV.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by AcookerTV

I think Bethenny's divorce gives a lot of merit to the couples who face an unexpcted baby while dating, and decide to have the child, raise it together, but not let it force them into marriage.There are plenty of couples out there like that -some celebrities, some not. It used to be seen as an outrage, but is more acceptable now. I have a friend who went that path. Her logic was that she didn't want her child to grow up with the pressure of knowing she was the reason her parents married. When their daughter was about 3 years old, they decided to get married. They entered into it knowing they both WANTED to be with each other instead of feeling like they had to be together because of the child. Their daughter is 18 now, and they are happily married. With Jason, I'm not sure whether or not he had expectations of how marriage and motherhood would change Bethenny. I'm not sure if he gave it a lot of thought, or just fell into the mindset of thinking that because she was pregnant they needed to get married. The need vs want perspective can really have a big impact on a marriage.

---

I just want to voice my opinion here and with great respect, I have to somewhat disagree here...or maybe point out a different view:
It seems that this logic starts at the wrong place...a couple just don't happen to get pregnant........maybe in my day, it did but now there are so many almost 100% perfected on How Not To Get Pregnant. Intelligent people know that sexual intercourse can produce a baby so to me, it starts with them not thinking or acting appropriately. They then need to deal with the consequences of not using their brain if this was going to be a problem.
I guess I always see this situation as a "poor people with such bad luck or bad timing." It's just way too easy to make sure you don't have this happen and if you gamble, then pay the consequences. I'm not saying everyone who's in this situation should get married but I don't think we should treat it as an unfortunate occurrence. There is a beginning to this situation and no one seems to remember that.
I can still remember how scary it was for young unmarried people to have sex without all the preventive ways there are now....even married couples who just really couldn't afford another baby.
Just seems like we put the emphasis on what the priority is here....it's usually not what's right and best for the baby...but for the couple.
Sorry..I'll put the soap box away now.:soapbox