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Thread: Bethenny Ever After

  1. #901
    FORT Fogey Coco46's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    Quote Originally Posted by AlwaysVeg View Post
    While I don't think that a woman should be forced to choose between her family and career, I do believe it's a matter of balance. None of us is in Bethenny's head or even part of her inner circle, but I think it's pretty plain that she is acting out of her issues from childhood and carrying them forward instead of resolving to break the pattern that she herself experienced as a child with a whacked-out family by whom she was not treated as important as she should have been, and of which she is so clearly a product. Yes, I do think at some point a parent, whether mother or father, could say, "I have enough money. I want to focus on my child, to make sure she grows into a happy and well-adjusted human being who isn't spending what little free time she has in a therapist's office complaining about her parents"! Does that mean she would have to give up every future career ambition she might have? No, of course not. It just means finding a good sense of balance, maybe taking on projects that don't consume the majority of her time, leaving ample quality time for a relationship with spouse and child. It reminds me of that old saying about how no one on their deathbed ever wishes they had spent more time working ... they wish they had spent more time with those who loved them and who they loved. Family and children are a precious gift -- take that from someone who has neither -- and not something to be taken for granted and tossed aside in favor of ambition, notoriety, and financial success.
    This happens only if that person is a mature and unselfish person, which I think Bethanny is neither. Such a screw up!! And you are so right about the deathbed wish. You hit the nail right on the head.
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  2. #902
    FORT Fogey Debb70's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    I just wonder if there are any people in Bethenny's inner circle who really think she's putting Bryn first. Are there yes people there to appease her? Even those who seemed to adore Bethenny left her employment, because they had to get away. Remember them?

  3. #903
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    Yep! I don't think she's had weak people who leach on to her like some celebrities. But the people closest to her WORK for her, so it's not an even playing field. Julie was probably the most honest with her, but even she knew she had to maintain her own career and therefore was limited in how honest she could be. It makes you wonder how much Bethenny has set that up on purpose - it's almost like she's buying loyalty by hiring people and then expecting them to play the role of her friends.

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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    Sure Bethenny has her issues, but I cringed over the attitude Jason had towards her: You're broken, you're the problem. I would have bailed out on him long before Bethenny did. If a person is always blaming the other and refusing to participate in counseling there is no hope. None of us are perfect and if my spouse wanted to participate in counseling to save the marriage I would put my pride aside and do it. Maybe I would even learn something about myself that would save the marriage.
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  5. #905
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    I always wondered if part of Jason's reluctance towards counseling was the set up of it. From what we saw, Bethenny's idea of counseling was for them to go to her therapist. This is a person with an established relationship with Bethenny ... And given her continued focus on herself it seems he to,d her more of what she wanted to hear than trying to fix her problems. Wouldn't the deck be stacked against Jason before he walked in?
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  6. #906
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    If Jason wanted that scenario then he could ask for it. It isn't unusual for one person to keep their own therapist while working with a different couples therapist. Jason had an issue with counseling period and considered it weak to seek outside help.

  7. #907
    FORT Fogey Dragonlady's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    A lot of great posts here and I want to address some of them:
    Re Jason and therapy....it's hard to know the real answer to that one..it would seem odd that Jason wouldn't want to go and get help for their marriage. Unfortunately, he was just a "regular" guy and not prepared for someone like Bethanny. I know he loved her but she's not a wife for Jason's type. I'm surprised he lasted this long.
    I think that Bethanny is acting just like her mother but I don't think it's an excuse to go into auto-pilot on being a mother...I had a lousy one and I tried really hard to consciously NOT be like her. Saying she doesn't know how is just an excuse and life demands more than that from us.

    I remember hearing about the deathbed wish and how true is that?!!!
    And as for thinking that she now has the time and money to focus on her marriage and child, I think she is so lucky to have that choice...not everyone can do that. many wish they could stay home and raise/enjoy their kids and have to go to work.

    To me, choosing to once more put her self in the world's face tells me what's important to her. Obviously, she's too active to just be a stay at home mom but I think she has many many options to choose from that would allow her to grow and focus on her family.
    Family takes a lot of work....even tho Bethanny says she's wants it...her actions prove otherwise.

    That's why words mean nothing to me....but actions say everything.
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  8. #908
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    If we are to believe what Bethenny told her therapist, she was the one who could not be agreeable, cooperative, and a good partner. If you watched her sessions she admitted this. She said, yes, it's me and why am I like this? It was almost like she was proud to be a ball buster. Remember that claim to fame she bragged about?

    There are always two sides to a story, but hey, when someone refuses to be nice and loves to bust your balls, EVEN though they attend weekly therapy, what's a guy supposed to do? It appeared to me that he accomodated her at every end. Remodeling the NY condo, doing the bus tour, having the reality shows, moving to CA, etc. He seemed like a standup guy to me.
    Coco46, sparklete and AlwaysVeg like this.

  9. #909
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    Great posts, Dragonlady and Debb70. We are not privy to Bethenny's entire therapy sessions, but I hope (or wish) that at some point her therapist points out to her that she is acting like her mother did in many ways in terms of her child and marriage, and maybe that would shut her up for at least a few seconds and give her pause to think. I have the feeling that she spends those sessions blabbing nonstop, just wanting somebody else's undivided attention and not much in the way of any real help to grow as a person.

    As far as Jason not being the right kind of man for her, who would be? If she got together with someone who is more like her, they would butt heads and probably be having knockout, drag down fights 24/7. If he were as ambitious as she is, as career- and money-driven as she is, and determined to do whatever he could to gain and keep celebrity status, they'd never see each other and that would soon be the end of that. She should really be kissing the ground Jason walks on to have found someone low-key who could put up with her for so long and who offered her the kind of loving family she never had and claimed to want. Bethenny is her own worst enemy. I think her therapist either coddles her too much or can't get a word in edgewise except on camera where he is probably told to say something.
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  10. #910
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    This is only speculation because as you said we don't see all of Bethenny's therapy sessions. But I'm willing to guess that he never points that out to h. I think a therapist can take one of two approaches. You either build a patient up to feel good about herself, or you dig deep to find the cause of problems and fix them. I think Bethenny's is the build up kind. When he gives her breakthroughs they are usually to affirm her - not to open her eyes.

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