And with that Jason can loose the ability to be a part of his daughter's life on a full-time basis. Everything is not always about Jason or how things go with the way people are raised in his hometown and what 'normal' is for them. It's about both of them that's why it's a marriage. Grandparents are important for a child but, parents are THE MOST important for that child. It's most important for that child's future well being that her family unit stays intact, if possible, as she grows up. Therefore, it's important that Jason & Bethenny work to solidify their core 3 person family unit first. That core family's state of being comes first, followed by the extended family of grandparents, siblings, etc. that is also important to a child growing up.
Bethenny and Jason sped through dating, engagement, pregnancy, giving birth, and parenting in quick succession without a breather. Bethenny is overwhelmed. Some do to her normal need to take on which is her doing and some due to the way things organically went down with her relationship with Jason. She's working on dealing with her family issues and personal issues that cause her to push herself and skew her views of family & closeness. That will take time but, she doing it to be the best wife to Jason, mother to Brynn, and for herself. She's trying to learn to balance a career and family at the same time which all new career moms have to have time to learn to do. Jason and Bethenny need the time to catch up on being newlyweds, adjusting to married life, and adjusting to being new parents, and building a solid foundation for their core family. Bethenny wants Jason' parents to have a good relationship with her daughter and she wants Brynn to have a better childhood and family life than she had. However, she wants that to start with first with Brynn's parents. She wants Brynn's parents as individuals to stable, as a married couple to be rock solid, and the core family to have a good foundation. She wants to experience and give Brynn the traditions and time spent as a core family that she never had(or was too young to remember) as well as the traditions of time spent with her grandparents and extended family.
She's trying to balance pleasing everyone while accomplishing the goals and dreams that she has for what she wants to give her daughter. It's not just what type of life and childhood that Jason, his parents, or people in his town had. Bethenny as Brynn's mother also has the right to her own wishes and goals for the type of childhood she wants to have. It's about blending the two dreams and sometimes that takes time and adjustment to make that happen. That's true from any married couple, much less 2 people as different as Jason & Bethenny with their upbringings. Bethenny is overwhelmed and stressed out with trying to balance everything and please everyone and before the season ends she is going to hit a wall emotionally. It would be easier if she didn't like Jason's parents or care about them being in Bryn's life. She would be like Rachael Ray who doesn't care what people think and doesn'tworry or sweat about what gets handled beyond her career and has a husband who is cool with it. However, Bethenny does care and that's whys he is becoming overwhelmed with trying to please everyone while keeping her own dreams and goals at the same time. She will figure it out eventually but, it will take hitting that wall, therapy, the love of Brynn, and Jason's love, support, and understanding to do it. IMO
To change the subject a bit, I can't help but think of Rachel Zoe as we're discussing the frantic pace Bethenny is trying to maintain between keeping her work schedule as hectic as always, and trying to balance that with a new husband and baby --- AND the issue of Bethenny and Jason contemplating Jason giving up (or cutting down on) his own job so that they could work together in Bethenny's business. Rachel and her husband Rodger have very similar issues in that Rachel is a total workaholic who has been terrified of having a baby because it would interfere with all of the work she has to (and wants to) do. Now, of course, Rachel is pregnant, so I shudder to think how she's going to handle the pressure of her insanely busy professional life and the time that caring for a baby takes. Rachel, who is a Type A 'squared' maniac - makes Bethenny look like a calm, tranquil soul!!!
Interestingly, Rachel's business got so demanding that Rodger gave up his full time job to join Rachel's company to help her. Rachel and Rodger have been working together for the last couple of years trying to run Rachel's business and it's hard to say how their working together is affecting their life as a married couple, because The Rachel Zoe Project doesn't really delve into that too much. But on the whole, I think it's been good for them more than bad, because they do trust and respect and love each other, even though they differ in a lot of their opinions --- very similar to Bethenny and Jason in a lot of ways.
Last edited by Imperfect1; 03-10-2011 at 07:35 AM.
Or maybe he feels she has to be the one who hits the wall and decide to make changes.
And imagine if he tried to tell her to cut back and she didn't want to or agree with him, she'd annihilate the guy!!
I'd sure be tip-toeing around Bethanny and would never try to tell her she's doing too much.
I hope Jason doesn't quit his work and become part of Bethanny's company. I think it'd be better for their marriage if he's his own man, independent of Bethanny. She's the kind of woman who's capable of walking all over a man and then hating him for allowing her to do it. She needs a very strong man that she can't push around or boss. Jason can be that man but he'll always have to be careful and in some ways, be on guard or she'll just steamroll him. I'm not saying that's a bad thing for a woman to be but you need a good counter balance in that type of relationship.
I don't THINK I've seen anyone bring up this point yet, but I think it's important to mention too with regards to how often they see Jason's parents-one couple is always in the host position, and that's a lot different than family who live close by popping over for a day visit. I know it's normally a two hour drive between New York and where Jason's parents live (although I, personally, would never drive four hours round way for a day trip unless there's an emergency, I've seen that some posters do this for their daily commutes, you brave, brave people) but Bethenny pointed out herself that with the baby and with Cookie, that 2 hour trip can easily turn into 5. and Jason's parent's are old enough (and want to spend the time with Bryn) that they might not be comfortable with making the round trip in one day.
Which brings me back to what I said-Jason's parents stay with him and Bethenny when they're in New York, and Jason and Bethenny stay with them while in pennyslvania. One couple is always in the host position and one is always in the guest. It's a lot more stressful then when you're staying in a hotel because you have a lot of duties either way that are unspoken but expected. I know when I go home for visits, I prefer to stay in a hotel even though I know that all my friends have extra rooms and are always offering them. That way I can be on my own schedule, see friends from different circles, sleep in, go off by myself, and I never feel like I'm imposing on a friend. My guess is that Bethenny, in addition to being a little overwhelmed by suddenly having an extended family, is also tired of having to play either host or guest.
WORD to the bolded! I am so that way. Sometimes it has caused me not to visit as often if I'm not in a position to afford a hotel room and my own rental car. I like to visit but be comfortable in my own space it makes for a more pleasant and easy visit for me and those I'm visiting. So, totally feel you on that statement.