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Thread: Bethenny Ever After

  1. #801
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    I watched part of the marathon yesterday. In watching it I remembered the stress my brother and sister-in-law went through remodeling a duplex they bought. Constantly fighting. I mentioned it to them once and they acknowledged it and said that friends of their's said that they (the friends) had never argued so much as when they remodeled their house. I just think that we saw a couple adjusting to a lot of things all at once. They are still adjusting to themselves as a married couple, business partners (to answer a question above Jason worked to resolve the bottleneck problems when the skinny girl margarita was launched to more demand than they expected), new parents, new wealth (lots of good, but also lots of changes), new lawsuits, new home, etc. Anyone of these things involves a "who am I now" question that needs to be resolved and it crashed down on both of them all at once. I think that both showed their weaknesses and both showed their strengths. It was good to see that they were rising up out of that valley as a couple and a family at the end of the series.
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  2. #802
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    Recently, I often feel somewhat uncomfortable watching, like through a microscope, Bethanny and Jason's marriage/life together. I realize that they've completely given us permission to inspect all the detailed aspects but that doesn't take away my feelings.
    In Bethanny's constant search for attention, recognition and acceptance, we get to watch something that really seems to be heading towards a disastrous ending...kind of like watching the last few hours of the sinking of the Titanic. Then I come here and read/write about her life, along with the rest of FORT, and I feel even more uncomfortable.
    Even though they are both willing to show the entire world every aspect of their life, I'm glad that this is the last of her show. It turns out that I just don't want to watch something like this anymore.
    The rest of the Real Housewives are a lark with extremely transparent heavily scripted characters and stories. I just don't find their antics to be as intimate and personal. Makes me feel like a Peeping Tom.
    I wish them the best but no longer want to be a spectator of their demise....hopefully, I'm wrong and they'll pull it all together. Especially, since I saw some tabloid picture of her definitely looking like she was pregnant....The Real Bethanny doesn't have a tummy that big without a little one in there.

  3. #803
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    I'm going with what Wikiepedia says. It is as reasonable a source as any armchair psychologist can come up with.

    Passive

    Passive-aggressive behavior is dealing with expectations in interpersonal or occupational situations in an obstructionist or hostile manner that indicates aggression, or, in more general terms, expressing aggression in non-assertive (i.e. passive or indirect) ways. It can be seen in some cases as a personality trait or disorder marked by a pervasive pattern of negative attitudes and passive, usually disavowed, resistance in interpersonal or occupational situations.

    However, according to views such as Conflict theory or Marxist philosophy, so-called passive-aggressive behavior could be a rational response to demands that may simply be disagreed with, for example if intended to exploit the individual, and yet where there is no possible or legitimate means of active resistance. It has also been noted that passive resistance has a dignified history, including Irish dissidents, Quakers and Gandhi. The passive-aggressive concept was developed by the US military to describe soldiers who would not obey instructions happily. Its use as a diagnosis has also been questioned in clinical and social terms.

    It can manifest itself as learned helplessness, procrastination, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or deliberate/repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible.[1].

    Causes

    Passive–aggressive disorder may stem from a specific childhood stimulus[4] (e.g., alcohol/drug addicted parents) in an environment where it was not safe to express frustration or anger. Families in which the honest expression of feelings is forbidden tend to teach children to repress and deny their feelings and to use other channels to express their frustration.

    Children who sugarcoat hostility may have difficulties being assertive. Never developing better coping strategies or skills for self-expression, they can become adults who, beneath a "seductive veneer", "harbor vindictive intent", in the words of a US congressman psychologist and a writer therapist.[5] Alternatively individuals may simply have difficulty being as directly aggressive or assertive as others. Martin Kantor suggests three areas that contribute to passive–aggressive anger in individuals: conflicts about dependency, control, and competition.[6]


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I especially like the Conflict theory or Marxist philosophies part. And, based on the full entry, it appears passive agressiveness can be a genetic trait, a learned behavior, and even a tactical skill consciously and proactively developed to achieve a goal.

    Shear logic tells me that passive aggressive behavior comes about in many ways. For example, people who do not like to hurt others, often behave in ways that they hope will resolve the situation without having to be the one to flag the major issue at hand...and that they do this subconsciously. A person who is not happy in a marriage might behave in ways that prompt the other spouse to ask for a divorce thereby excusing the unhappy spouse from having to be the one to ask for it. The reverse is also true. A person may be fearful of becoming unloved by bringing touchy subjects out in the open, but the subjects are so disconcerting, they express their frustration in PA behavior.

    And, I think that PA behavior is quite often (if not always and by the very definition of the phrase) a defense mechanism. It might be the only way the person feels as if they have a voice in the relationship, bring value to it, have self-worth, etc.

    At the end of the day, all it amounts to is a person's attempt at dealing with an elephant in the room without ever talking about the elephant in the room.

    From what I've seen, I see Jason behaving in a passive-aggressive way, subconssciousy. He's not happy about certain things but doesn't necessarily want to deal with them as directly as they need to be dealt with. And, he does this because either he doesn't want to hurt Bethany, become unloved by Bethany, etc. Or, perhaps he is fearful of failure, i.e. should (divorce is a touch pride pill to swallow) the marriage dissolve, I mean. I'd say Jason has each of the symptomes listed above under "Causes".
    Last edited by Jexter; 05-30-2012 at 02:51 AM. Reason: typos
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  4. #804
    Vidiot 13 is a Winner Champion Poppy Fields's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    Passive aggressive behavior as defined by the psychiatric community (see below) is not a postive skill, but one that impedes the ability to resolve conflict. In its worst form, it actually impedes an individual's emotional maturation process and the ability to grow in a relationship.

    We are not talking about prisoners of war here, but a married couple with issues to resolve. You don't get there with a passive aggressive attitude. Period.
    "Blessed is the lonesome pioneer." -- Judee Sill (1973, "There's a Rugged Road")

  5. #805
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    Bethenny was on Ellen yesterday promoting her new talk show. She said they had moved out there a couple of days before, and all of them were loving having a yard to enjoy. They showed a clip from the pilot of her new show. I was surprised to see Jason and Bryn sitting in the audience. I wonder if they are going to be there for every single show, kind of like Dr Phil's wife.

  6. #806
    Vidiot 13 is a Winner Champion Poppy Fields's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    I hope Fox will have "Bethenny" on demand, as I can't watch it live and our DVR slots are all spoken for.
    "Blessed is the lonesome pioneer." -- Judee Sill (1973, "There's a Rugged Road")

  7. #807
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    Has anyone figured out how one can see her show on the East coast? I have regular DirecTV service and live in Charlotte,NC. Would love to see it!
    I only have a kitchen because it came with the house.

  8. #808
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    Quote Originally Posted by Jexter View Post
    I'm going with what Wikiepedia says. It is as reasonable a source as any armchair psychologist can come up with.

    Passive

    Passive-aggressive behavior is dealing with expectations in interpersonal or occupational situations in an obstructionist or hostile manner that indicates aggression, or, in more general terms, expressing aggression in non-assertive (i.e. passive or indirect) ways. It can be seen in some cases as a personality trait or disorder marked by a pervasive pattern of negative attitudes and passive, usually disavowed, resistance in interpersonal or occupational situations.

    However, according to views such as Conflict theory or Marxist philosophy, so-called passive-aggressive behavior could be a rational response to demands that may simply be disagreed with, for example if intended to exploit the individual, and yet where there is no possible or legitimate means of active resistance. It has also been noted that passive resistance has a dignified history, including Irish dissidents, Quakers and Gandhi. The passive-aggressive concept was developed by the US military to describe soldiers who would not obey instructions happily. Its use as a diagnosis has also been questioned in clinical and social terms.

    It can manifest itself as learned helplessness, procrastination, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or deliberate/repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible.[1].

    Causes

    Passive–aggressive disorder may stem from a specific childhood stimulus[4] (e.g., alcohol/drug addicted parents) in an environment where it was not safe to express frustration or anger. Families in which the honest expression of feelings is forbidden tend to teach children to repress and deny their feelings and to use other channels to express their frustration.

    Children who sugarcoat hostility may have difficulties being assertive. Never developing better coping strategies or skills for self-expression, they can become adults who, beneath a "seductive veneer", "harbor vindictive intent", in the words of a US congressman psychologist and a writer therapist.[5] Alternatively individuals may simply have difficulty being as directly aggressive or assertive as others. Martin Kantor suggests three areas that contribute to passive–aggressive anger in individuals: conflicts about dependency, control, and competition.[6]


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I especially like the Conflict theory or Marxist philosophies part. And, based on the full entry, it appears passive agressiveness can be a genetic trait, a learned behavior, and even a tactical skill consciously and proactively developed to achieve a goal.

    Shear logic tells me that passive aggressive behavior comes about in many ways. For example, [B]people who do not like to hurt others, often behave in ways that they hope will resolve the situation without having to be the one to flag the major issue at hand...and that they do this subconsciously. A person who is not happy in a marriage might behave in ways that prompt the other spouse to ask for a divorce thereby excusing the unhappy spouse from having to be the one to ask for it. The reverse is also true. A person may be fearful of becoming unloved by bringing touchy subjects out in the open, but the subjects are so disconcerting, they express their frustration in PA behavior. And, I think that PA behavior is quite often (if not always and by the very definition of the phrase) a defense mechanism. It might be the only way the person feels as if they have a voice in the relationship, bring value to it, have self-worth, etc.

    At the end of the day, all it amounts to is a person's attempt at dealing with an elephant in the room without ever talking about the elephant in the room.

    From what I've seen, I see Jason behaving in a passive-aggressive way, subconssciousy. He's not happy about certain things but doesn't necessarily want to deal with them as directly as they need to be dealt with. And, he does this because either he doesn't want to hurt Bethany, become unloved by Bethany, etc. Or, perhaps he is fearful of failure, i.e. should (divorce is a touch pride pill to swallow) the marriage dissolve, I mean. I'd say Jason has each of the symptomes listed above under "Causes".
    Exactly. Thank you. This is what I was describing in my own family of origin situation.

  9. #809
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    To be honest here I am growing tired of Bethenny. While I am happy that she was able to take her vision & turn it into a multimillion dollar business and have everything she ever wanted, I am just getting oversaturated with all things Bethenny. I liked her on RHWNY, adored that she met & married a local guy, loved her marghrita drink.
    Now, for me personally, it has all gotten to be too much. 1 drink has turned into 20+, a shapewear line, a nutrition line & now a talk show. A simple Google search of her has her pregnant or getting divorced. Which is it...and do I really care...NO!
    That is what I said awhile back, too much is not always a good thing. Other companies are making a drink line similar to hers only cheaper. Companies have been doing nutritional items for years so they have their base following already plus they add coupons & freebies. Spanx does shapewear the best. How many daytime talk shows have there been on & have been cancelled in the past 5 years???

    I am just personally over it & won't be taping her talk show even if it is available in my area. As for Jason & Bryn being in the audience for every show like Robin McGraw...how many 2 year olds do you think can sit still for an hour in a room full of strangers?
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  10. #810
    Vidiot 13 is a Winner Champion Poppy Fields's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    I like Bethenny's shapewear a lot. It's very feminine and pretty (which DH loves), and works (which I love). It's much more appealing to me than her cocktail. We also truly enjoy her recipes.

    I follow her web entries and enjoy her humor and honesty.

    I'm looking forward to seeing her new show. The last I read about it, it's a "trial" run - a number of segments to see if it will fly.

    Bethenny Frankel Gets Talk Show Trial Run - Today's News: Our Take | TVGuide.com

    I will try to find a site where you can watch it, CoCo46, and PM you with it.
    Last edited by Poppy Fields; 05-30-2012 at 11:01 AM.
    "Blessed is the lonesome pioneer." -- Judee Sill (1973, "There's a Rugged Road")

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