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Thread: Bethenny Ever After

  1. #671
    Vidiot 13 is a Winner Champion Poppy Fields's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    The thing about growing up is that you are never really done with it. Seriously, if you stop growing and developing as a person (emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually) your life, itself, makes you unhappy. You are inclined to the see the negative in everything, and your fears begin to be the driving force in your life. Nothing seems realy satisfying or fulfilling, and eventually nothing gives you a sense of purpose. You become overwhelmed and insular and, therefore, completely self-involved.

    I really do not think Bethenny is there. Neither is Jason. I do think that they should be in counseling together, though.
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  2. #672
    FORT Fogey Debb70's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    Quote Originally Posted by Dragonlady View Post
    JMHO but Bethanny is not growing as an adult. She's become aware of what her problems are and how she behaves due to her childhood and parents. But as I continue to say, there comes a time when you know what's causing you problems (bad childhood, etc) and you begin to make changes. She's not doing that. She continues to be an effect, rather than an affect. (sorry for the trite cliche but it sums it up best)
    I really like Bethanny, flaws and all, but I don't have that much respect for her to stay in "the pit of despair" - sorry, again but I rarely miss a chance to quote from The Princess Bride movie---true favorite.

    I'm not saying she can totally change but improvements can be made and I just don't see any evidence of that. It's unrealistic to think that people can continue to put up with her behavior when she doesn't seem to make any effort to correct at least some of the problems. It's not an easy job but it can be done if you want a better life. At 41 years of age, she's been an adult for as long as she's been a child. She alone can change her life and her instinctual reaction to what life hands her.

    I say all this as a person who has worked long and hard to overcome similar circumstances. Thank goodness for my brother, who helps me and continues to work on the same set of problems. But neither of us are satisfied with continuing to be the effect of our parents...we want the power over our own lives, rather than letting our parents have the power. And it's a never-ending job.
    Great post! You make some excellent points. I agree.

    Don't you think that someone in Bethenny's circle has told her what you have said. Whether it be her doctor, girlfriend, manager, etc. someone has been blunt with her and said this. I guess she must ignore them. Sometimes if a therapist is not helping you move forward, you need to get a new one. Bethenny stated once that Jason contends she has her therapist fooled about certain things, so even Jason is doubtful of his ability to help Bethenny. Of course, you have to really want to change to get it.

    I made a comment to my Endocrinologist yesterday and she smiled and asked me to repeat it. She said it was awesome. I said, "I can't continue to do the same things and expect a different result." I copied it from someone of course, but I finally took it to heart. I wish Bethenny would.

  3. #673
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    Color me cynical. Perhaps Bethenny is amp'ing up her insecurity issues for ratings. I'm not saying there isn't underlying feelings there but if she were to be totally self aware and act on improving the way she reacts to Jason there would be no plot line to the show.

  4. #674
    FORT Fogey PA Snow Bunny's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    No one is 100% wrong & no person is 100% right. If you alwats want to me right then you surround yourself with people who only know how to say yes to you. They are called employees.

    I am with you scootad I think this drama is for ratings. I wish them well.
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  5. #675
    FORT Fogey Debb70's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    If we are to assume the conflict is for ratings, then we must assume that Bethenny and Jason sat down and said, "Okay, let's pretend we are miserable and not getting along well at all. Let's show our worst sides to the world and drag Jason's parent's names into it too. They won't mind. And no matter how negative it is and how it could hurt Bryn one day when she grows up and sees it, then we will just tell her it wasn't real. She can ignore all her memories of us fighting with each other. After all, we need the money from this show so badly."
    I honestly cannot see that happening. We must accept that they are sending out a message to the world that she is a witch, miserable, crying everyday, because she wants her tv show to be a hit, even though she is already a multi-millionaire. I guess it's possible, HOWEVER, if that is what she and Jason are doing, then they are even worse than I thought. To do that to Bryn and other family members is just disgusting. I can't imagine how worried Jason's parents must be for Bryn going through all that. Plus, kids pick up on the negative energy.
    Last edited by Debb70; 04-25-2012 at 02:43 PM.

  6. #676
    FORT Fogey Prism's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    I have to believe much of this drama is for the cameras, maybe 20% being real-life early marriage arguments and compromises. Both B & J have lost some of the respect I had for them; they should know better than to allow the wholesale slaughter of their family on national television. Good gawd, they have enough money, plenty of celebrity and notoriety, and they claim to want a good childhood for their daughter - enough, stop, please!

    Appointing a legal guardian should B & J both die-- shouldn't the grandparents or another very close relative weigh in on their desire and ability to care for the child? There was no mention of this on camera. If no relative wants the job, great, move on to friends. But it's not uncommon to name the grandparents, with a provision that should they be unable to care for the child, a third party is named to nurture the child to adulthood. This is not a brand new idea, B & J !

    Bravo exacts a fairly high payment in return for celebrity creation, doesn't it?
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  7. #677
    FORT Fogey Coco46's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    I always thought Bethanny was exhausting, even in her other show. I'm not sure how much of her personality I could take on a daily basis. Now, it's zero tolerance for me. Even though I agree that Jason is part of the problem, Bethanny will never be happy until she decides she will be. I normally don't quote Dr. Phil, but I have always liked this one: We all continue to do the same thing as long as we are getting something out of it. Wonder what Bethanny's payback is for her behavior? I'm not sure she really wants to change. There is something that continues to motivate her to continue acting this way. I agree, the one I feel sorry for is Bryn.
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  8. #678
    FORT Fogey Lizard's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    I haven't watched. Thank you for the great summaries and thoughts.

    I would have to agree with most of what is said.
    You can do it!

  9. #679
    FORT Fogey Dragonlady's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    Excellent posts, Poppy Fields and Debb70!
    I do think some is for drama but I don't think you can "act" that way so much if there wasn't a real basis for it. And some of it, seems completely spontaneous as it relates to their real problems.
    I do think part of Bethanny's problem is the fact that society has encouraged the behavior of "victims," allowing them to be excused for their ways because they're just poor victims of circumstance. I have always found that to be pathetic and harmful.
    I believe that you make your life exactly what you want it to be. If pity is what you need, then maybe that's why they continue their ways, blame others for their misfortunes, excuse your behavior and not feel the need to make any changes.

    I feel sorry for "victims" ONLY because they continue to live with unhappiness when they're capable of changing those "circumstances." Unfortunately, now days people never challenge them on it but feed them destructive approval...which assumes that they need not change. But if unhappiness and acceptance is what satisfies them, who am I to tell them to make changes???
    For me, I prefer to identify why life is lousy and see what I can do about changing it.
    It's my life and I'm in charge of it.
    Otherwise, the "abusers" are still in control and continue to make them miserable.
    Debb70 likes this.

  10. #680
    FORT Fogey Lizard's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    The picture of money does NOT buy you happiness...

    Jason tells her she is damaged so as to compartmentalize and deal. He does not do it to be malicious. If he did not the drama would be too much for him.

    Everybody has difficulty letting go of hurts. It is the only way to heal though. Realization that the offender needs healing themselves can provide a perspective of path to healing.

    ...
    Debb70 likes this.
    You can do it!

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