Bethenny Ever After

[AcookerTV]

I think with Bethenny and Jason, it may not be an issue of expecting the other to change, but rather expecting their repsonse to change to be different. I think that Jason's values said that when you have children, you slow down your life to focus on them, and assumed Bethenny felt the same way. I think he also assumed that he enjoyed being with his parents and being close to family, so she did too. And, I think that Bethenny assumed that Jason's interest in her business meant he wanted to be a part of it. Each of them made assumptions that based on what they knew, the other would respond to certain changes in their lives in ways that are different than what actually happened. We also can't forget that their entire courtship and marriage was sped up by the surprise that was Bryn, which probably also altered the decisions they made.

[diamonds78]

I'm surprised that if anything happened to them that Jason's parents wouldn't get Bryn, yes they are old but not that old there's noone else who willl love her as much. I would have thought they'd choose Julie over Veronica as she's the child's godmother.

Jason's very passive aggressive, his whining is starting to get to me. Also I read that they might move to LA if her talk show takes off, I secretly think Bethenny likes the idea of moving away from the inlaws and then if her and jason did split up she wouldn't have to ask for permission to move to the west coast with Bryn because they'd already be living there.

[PA Snow Bunny]

Jason's parents aren't that old. I get where Jason is coming from. Families in this area a really close-knit...I mean really like living next door to one another all their lives. Yes it is overkill & annoying but what can you say. If I don't call my Mom 10 times a day I am neglecting her.
This is such a classic case of getting everything you ever wanted & it still not being enough. I do think Bethenny has such deep wounds inflicted by her parents nothing will ever be enough for her. I hope & pray she & Jason can get their act together for the sake of their daughter. She doesn't need to be collateral damage. It is also a classic example of not making a baby with someone you really don't know.

[PA Snow Bunny]

And don't get married expecting that your spouse is going to change. Bad idea.

Yep! A tiger can't change into a kitty cat.

[AcookerTV]

I have to admit the guardian thing is one area where I kind of agreed with Bethenny. Jason's parents are not that old, but they're old enough that there's a higher chance of them not living well into her adult years than someone like Veronica. So thinking things out in terms that the only way it would come into play would be if Bryn had to suffer through losing both her parents, I respect the idea of wanting to try to shield her from the probability of suffering through that a second time losing her guardians. Jason's parents aren't really old now -- but Bryn is only 2, and will need someone there for her until she's 18 legally - but older than that emotionally. I did think it was odd that Bethenny talked about how Veronica bought her things, and therefore would be the best for Bryn. I think values matter more than gifts. But it DOES seem like Veronica is the primary caregiver if Bethenny and Jason are not around, so it probably would be the easiest transition. I don't understand though why Bethenny feels the need to discuss it with her. Chances are it will never come into play ... so why upset people by letting it be known exactly who the guardian is? My husband and I have not told people who the guardian is for our kids. Should it ever be known, we'll be gone, and not have to deal with anyone who may feel slighted.

[Uncle David]

I love Bethenny, but when I watch her argue with Jason I keep hearing my mother in my mind's ear... "If you don't stop picking at it, it won't heal!".

[diamonds78]

If anything would have happened to my parents I would have wanted to be raised by my elderly grandparents than my parents employee/friend.

[candor]

I love Bethenny, but when I watch her argue with Jason I keep hearing my mother in my mind's ear... "If you don't stop picking at it, it won't heal!".

No kidding. Bethenny's problem is that she seems obsessed with parity and blame. "It's my fault, admit it's your fault, who's fault is it this time?" If she'd just drop that aspect of her constant picking, that alone might improve the dynamics.

[MsDiva2007]

Bethenny is A Hoover(she sucks the fun out of everything) This woman is allergic to happiness. Her mommy and Daddy issues have made her into a humorless shrew. I pity her child and anyone else in her orbit for too long.

[Dragonlady]

Bethenny is A Hoover(she sucks the fun out of everything) This woman is allergic to happiness. Her mommy and Daddy issues have made her into a humorless shrew. I pity her child and anyone else in her orbit for too long.

JMHO but Bethanny is not growing as an adult. She's become aware of what her problems are and how she behaves due to her childhood and parents. But as I continue to say, there comes a time when you know what's causing you problems (bad childhood, etc) and you begin to make changes. She's not doing that. She continues to be an effect, rather than an affect. (sorry for the trite cliche but it sums it up best)
I really like Bethanny, flaws and all, but I don't have that much respect for her to stay in "the pit of despair" - sorry, again but I rarely miss a chance to quote from The Princess Bride movie---true favorite.

I'm not saying she can totally change but improvements can be made and I just don't see any evidence of that. It's unrealistic to think that people can continue to put up with her behavior when she doesn't seem to make any effort to correct at least some of the problems. It's not an easy job but it can be done if you want a better life. At 41 years of age, she's been an adult for as long as she's been a child. She alone can change her life and her instinctual reaction to what life hands her.

I say all this as a person who has worked long and hard to overcome similar circumstances. Thank goodness for my brother, who helps me and continues to work on the same set of problems. But neither of us are satisfied with continuing to be the effect of our parents...we want the power over our own lives, rather than letting our parents have the power. And it's a never-ending job.