Bethenny Ever After

[Imperfect1]

Whew! That was a hard episode to watch!!! Bethenny really did have a birthday disaster, and I think both sides have valid points. Yes, everyone should have listened to her and let her have her quiet little birthday --- but they were all just trying to give her love and affection. I wish she could have sucked it up and tried to enjoy it -- but the feelings that her birthday brought up were so deep and painful, that, as much as she tried to suck it up and enjoy the celebration, she just couldn't. And what made it worse, was the fact that as a result of trying to suck it up --- she just had a total meltdown instead.

I feel sorry for Bethenny when it is so hard for her to get past her childhood pain and disappointments. I hope that she will, in time, be able to do it, because her life is truly blessed right now. And Jason and his parents are angels!!! I hope they can hang in there with her, because in the long run, I think it will be well worth it. I just hope that Bethenny can learn to trust the love they're offering, because they are offering A LOT of love to her.

[tears.and.rain]

Jason and his parents did not throw the party for Bethenny. Bethenny planned it with the wedding planner. If she was that adamant that she not have it, then she should have held her ground. After all, she did admit to Jason in the aftermath that as upset as she was about all that he did, she also would have been upset if he'd done nothing. She wanted to be mad at him plain and simple. I blame that on Bethenny not Jason.

Bethenny threw the party because Jason wanted her to. She wanted to do something, have a nice dinner and party and just have fun, not have it be all about her. She was adamant about this with Jason, and with the planner. She was anxious all night about all the focus being on her, and you could tell the emotions were running high when Teri got there. She begged Jason not to do anything grand or over-the-top, and what really sent it over the edge was when everyone was staring at her and Jason was making that speech. She was painfully nervous, you could tell, and she kept trying to explain why she was being so, as she called it, "weird."

I feel like Jason is attributing all of their differences to Bethenny "not knowing better" because she didn't have a close family growing up, and that obviously his way is right and she'll learn that. But I don't think he realizes that some of that is Bethenny. Some of it is not something she has to get over, nor should she.

[Boann]

Jason and his parents did not throw the party for Bethenny. Bethenny planned it with the wedding planner. If she was that adamant that she not have it, then she should have held her ground. After all, she did admit to Jason in the aftermath that as upset as she was about all that he did, she also would have been upset if he'd done nothing. She wanted to be mad at him plain and simple. I blame that on Bethenny not Jason.

I don't agree. I think she wanted a party, just not the party Jason wanted to throw for her. For whatever reason that type of party was an emotional trigger, and she kept telling people to scale it back. With the best of intentions they kept wanting to make it bigger.

[Debb70]

I missed the show. I'll have to watch it later. Not sure what to think from the posts here.

I will say that when I turned 40 a few friends planned to meet me for drinks and dinner to celebrate with about 4-6 of us. I was shocked when I was sitting at the bar waiting and all these old friends showed up that I hadn't see in years. They gave me a surprise birthday party with about 30 people there. Balloons, gifts, cake, I was so shocked. It really took me by TOTAL surprise. It's difficult to explain, but the shock made me feel very uncomfortable and I continued to have this odd, out of sorts feeling for days. I really appreciated how they had tracked down many of my old friends and had put much thought and planning into it, but I would have liked to have known up front.

I was polite and appeared delighted, but from that day on, I swore I would NEVER surprise anyone with a party. I can't explain it.

[Boann]

On another note I was pleased that they put on their bathing suits to have the communal bath, and I loved Cookie with the sun glasses on.

[candor]

This is the first time I've disliked Bethenny. Even if Jason did entirely the wrong thing, and even if she has a deep-seated psychological issue about birthdays, a grown-up sucks it up and behaves graciously. She realized as it was happening that her reaction was hurting Jason and his family ... and she didn't control it.

That said, I believe that people are brought into our lives for a reason. Jason is going to be a powerful healing force for Bethenny, and she'll probably help him learn to set boundaries and get tough when necessary.

[tears.and.rain]

Oh, to be fair, she tried to keep control. She was clearly on the edge for a while at that party before falling apart. She tried to explain why she was being so weird. Jason is in the wrong here I think, I really do. Honestly, why couldn't this gift have been given later, at the small party??

[luvsginger]

Her crying in the bathroom was way too dramatic for what it was. Sheesh, it was a birthday party...get over it Bethenny! To sit in the bathroom bawling like a baby is ridiculous!

[Lucky22]

I don't agree. I think she wanted a party, just not the party Jason wanted to throw for her. For whatever reason that type of party was an emotional trigger, and she kept telling people to scale it back. With the best of intentions they kept wanting to make it bigger.

I don't know about that ... she's the one who met with the party planner and made all the arrangements, including the number of guests (except for her surprise best friend). If you don't want a fancy party, you don't meet with a party planner. Jason surprised her with Oprah-sized diamond earrings (what exactly does he do for a living?), and his dad refinished the thingamajig she liked. Don't know why she was so thrown by that .... surely she knew they would give her presents. If she was embarrassed by Jason's gift (not sure why ... I'm willing to bet she has other expensive jewelry, as do most of the people who were at the party), he did apologize and admitted maybe it would have been better to give her his present in private. I just didn't see the big deal about that. She's used to being the center of attention, with all her TV and public appearances and her own show, so why was she completely thrown by being the center of attention among 40 people? Her whiny tantrum was an embarrassment, and I'm sure it made at least some of her guests uncomfortable, as if they had done something wrong just by being there for her. If she was upset with Jason, then whine and cry to him about it later, but act a little more mature and gracious for the few hours of the party.

Don't get me wrong. I love Bethenny. I just think that whole birthday scenario was ridiculous. You don't want a fancy party? Don't hire a party planner, a makeup artist and a hairdresser. Tell your husband thanks but no thanks and stick to it. It's not as if she's a shrinking violet where telling him what she wants and doesn't want is concerned.

[Dragonlady]

I really like Bethanny but she is her own worst enemy. She complains about being stressed, tired, overworked but she is the one who takes on too much which results in being stressed, tired and overworked.
It's time to learn to say no to some things. If you add HUGE things to your life, like a marriage, baby and your own show, subtract other things, don't add more.
There comes a time when you can't keep showing support and sympathy for someone who deliberately keeps choosing to make their life difficult.

The same goes for her party. Don't say yes, participate in it (use a party planner), etc and then complain how uncomfortable you are. Jason and his parents gave her a wonderful thoughtful sentimental gift, nothing over the top. The earrings looked to me like ones that have a lot of little diamonds, making it look like one big diamond so even that wasn't too out of line. I think Jason tried his best to compromise for her because otherwise everything would have been something much bigger. She gave everyone mixed messages. They were led to believe that if it wasn't on a grand scale, she would deal with it.

Bethanny is an emotional mess and it's quite understandable why she is that way. But it's time, as so many have said here, to not always give in to a pity party, even if that's how you feel. It's part of growing up.
Up until the bathroom scene, I felt she was trying her best to make compromises but then it became nothing more than a child's tantrum.