"Not my circus. Not my monkeys"
~~ Old Polish Proverb ~~
But I donít want to go among mad people," Alice remarked.
"Oh, you canít help that," said the Cat: "weíre all mad here.
I guess I'm not making myself very clear. Let me try again, please.
I'm in agreement with you that Bethanny shouldn't do anything regarding Bryn until she's ready and only she will know when that happens. I just meant since Jason was also a parent, she needs to explain to him her reasons. I didn't mean she had to give into him. But just communicate why she's not ready, even if she's unsure what she's exactly feeling. Just talk to him about her thoughts and together work it out.
Everyone is different and there is no right or wrong timeline for such things. Moms are programmed to safe-guard their babies and you can't force it.
Sorry for the misunderstandings. Sometimes hard to get complete understanding with just the written word.
Bethenny was perfectly fine with having her baby nurse be in charge if Byrn while she was on overnight stays for business. Of the 2; the grandmother who we have seen adores her grandchild or a nurse who came with good recomandations, is really still a stranger.
I am not saying the baby nurse isn't a capable & adores Bryn. The thing I find "odd" here is that Bethenny seems to find these people who shall I say are a bit "out there" ie her new foodie friend, Max, ect. & is pefrectly comfortable having them as her "faux" family while her in-laws she wants to keep at arms distance.
Anyway...last time I comment on this family/show. BTW...I thought Max was an unpaid intern. Who knew.
My preference was always to have a babysitter come to our home - my kids never went to theirs, even if the sitter was a relative. Because I've always worked, we always had a housekeeper (and a nanny when they were tiny). My time with my kids was enormously precious to me, and I didn't relinquish much of it to their grandparents when they were babies or toddlers.
I believe that dads do have a different kind of bond with their babies than moms do in terms of their needs to be with their babies. A mom's is bone deep, it can even feel like an ache. My kids all slept in an infant-sized crib in our bedroom until they were about 5 months old, because I needed them to. My husband wasn't too keen on this, but he was sensitive enough to my needs to tolerate it. He could also take off on weekend fishing/camping trips and truly benefit from the time away. I could not imagine wanting to do a golf outing on a weekend when I had a baby at home. If I was obliged to go on one, I'd want my husband to be caring for the baby.
My husband's parents liked to see the kids pretty often. They lived close enough to come to our home for dinner, or us to theirs, a couple of times a month. But one thing they did every year was rent a giant shore house right on the beach for the entire summer. When the kids were old enough (around 8 or 9 years old), you can bet they preferred staying there in the summer with them to staying home with boring old us. They all developed deep, loving bonds with their grandparents over the years. I imagine Bryn will, too.
That was the "norm" for our family. Bethenny and Jason are going to have to work this out. I'm not even sure it's an authentic problem for them. It is, after all, a Bravo show.
Last edited by Poppy Fields; 03-18-2011 at 10:46 AM.
"Blessed is the lonesome pioneer." -- Judee Sill (1973, "There's a Rugged Road")
While Bethenny is on a business trip Bryn is at home, keeping to her routine, and being taken care of by both the baby nurse and Jason. This is very different than taking a 4 to 5 hour road trip (there and back) in one day with a 4 month old, especially when Grandma will see the baby the following week-end. Even if Carol can win a baby care throw down with Mary Poppins, it still doesn't mean that Bryn should have traveled to PA if Bethenny didn't want her new born baby to do that.
I really don't get the extrapolation from Bethenny cutting back on visits to Penn. as Bethenny hates her in-laws and wants to cut them out of Bryn's life.
I think we (here on FORT) have separated the issue into 2 different things. But I think it's mainly how Bethanny and Jason need to make those adjustments that any newlywed couple does because they come from such hugely different backgrounds.
(Although all that undisturbed sleep he got did nothing to improve his personality!!)
I only have a kitchen because it came with the house.