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Thread: Bethenny Ever After

  1. #1011
    FORT Fogey Imperfect1's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    I think you guys are totally wrong about Bethenny as a mother. I follow her on Twitter (where by the way, she has over a million followers and the number has been increasing over the last several months), and it is very clear to anyone who reads her tweets (and to anyone who watched her reality show and/or her talk show) that she is totally and completely in love with Brynn. I think she is a wonderful mother -- she is so loving and hands on and affectionate with Brynn, it's really heartwarming to watch them together. I understand why people think she cannot handle a relationship with a mate, BUT she's not at all like that with her child. She is just the opposite. I wish that I had a mother who treated me the way Bethenny treats Brynn.

  2. #1012
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    I would absolutely agree that Bethenny is totally in love with Bryn and adores her. The question is whether or not loving and adoring a child makes a person a great parent. One of my favorite quotes about parenting is that if it is done right, parenting is a constant preparation to be rid of your children. It's not just about loving them. It's about teaching them to be independent and capable of loving and taking care of themselves when they mature. I've said in this thread before, when you totally love and adore a child, dote on them and create great experiences for them, you're a grandparent or an aunt / uncle. Parents do those things AND teach, guide and nurture a child to eventually not need that parent anymore. Bethenny may get those things, and she may be doing them. But she is such a needy person who views so many relationships in her life as being about how SHE is served rather than her responsibilty towards the other person that it would not surprise me if she goes too long seeing time spent with Bryn as fun time, loving time, but not all the other stuff. It would not surprise me if when Bryn was a teenager, Bethenny is the kind of mom who wants to be Bryn's "girlfriend" - to go shopping, get their nails done, etc but not taken on the tough tasks of teaching Bryn about consequences, independence, etc. It's of course all speculation at this point. But I could picture Bethenny doing that, and if she does, then she's a selfish mom, not a great mom.

  3. #1013
    FORT Fogey Debb70's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    Maybe people who are newcomers to Bethenny buy her contentions, but if you have watched her since she first went public in reality tv, you know better than to buy her stories. And maybe her followers have gone up, but I don't see how those people support her. I have read VERY few comments of support for her on any board anywhere. Most fans are fed up with her and they are quite vocal about it. Something is up, because she has made a concerted effort to cover the national mags and get her version of the story out there. She's worried for a reason and I think it's well based worry.

    Dr. Phil has a saying that children learn how to treat others by how their parents treat each other, not how the parent treats the child. I think that is interesting and that parents should consider it when dealing with each other. If it is true, then Bryn is in trouble, because Bethenny has issues with men, big time. THIS is what she SAYS. She admits to this, so there is definitely a problem. Poor Bryn. How will she learn to have healthy relationships when her mommie prides herself on being a ball buster?

  4. #1014
    FORT Fogey KatesMom's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    Quote Originally Posted by AcookerTV View Post
    KatesMom, I know you would know more about this than me - I heard somewhere (maybe with the Katie Holmes / Tom Cruise divorce?) that legal custody terms sound more harsh than what is actually carried out in life. Is that true? I think I remember hearing that primary custody may SOUND like "child will live with this parent the majority of the time" but it is really more of a legal thing to determine who ultimately makes the final decisions relating to the child's life. Is that right or am I totally confusing things here?
    I'm not a divorce lawyer, but as I understand it there are two types of custody - physical and legal. Physical custody deals with where the child lives. So sole/primary physical custody means the child spends more time with the custodial parent - and the non-custodial parent's child support is based off that. Joint physical custody generally means, for child support purposes, the child will spend 50% of the time with each parent (although in my SIL's case, that is definitely not true). Legal custody is, I think, what you are talking about - that goes to who has the power to make decisions about the child's future. Sole/primary legal custody means the custodial parent doesn't have to consult with the other parent. Joint means they need to work decisions out together. In either case, there will obviously be liberal visitation for the non-custodial parent.

  5. #1015
    FORT Fogey KatesMom's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    Quote Originally Posted by Debb70 View Post
    Maybe people who are newcomers to Bethenny buy her contentions, but if you have watched her since she first went public in reality tv, you know better than to buy her stories. And maybe her followers have gone up, but I don't see how those people support her. I have read VERY few comments of support for her on any board anywhere. Most fans are fed up with her and they are quite vocal about it. Something is up, because she has made a concerted effort to cover the national mags and get her version of the story out there. She's worried for a reason and I think it's well based worry.

    Dr. Phil has a saying that children learn how to treat others by how their parents treat each other, not how the parent treats the child. I think that is interesting and that parents should consider it when dealing with each other. If it is true, then Bryn is in trouble, because Bethenny has issues with men, big time. THIS is what she SAYS. She admits to this, so there is definitely a problem. Poor Bryn. How will she learn to have healthy relationships when her mommie prides herself on being a ball buster?
    I don't dislike her, I pity her. I can also relate to her because I was a lot like her before I got sober. And I went through a LOT of therapy and worked on myself to get to the point where I am today. It is very hard work, but it is totally worth it. I sincerely hope Bethenny gets there. For me, nothing was ever enough to fill the hole that was in my heart - I just kept trying to fill it with more and more "stuff" and be more and more successful and respected. But I didn't really respect myself, so it was never enough. This is what I see from Bethenny. Unfortunately, this was in large part due to my parents. I hold no bad feelings towards them today - they were parents and they did the best they could, but parents are human and they can't teach what they don't know. None of what they did or didn't do came from a lack of love. Same with Bethenny and Bryn. I don't doubt for a second that she loves that little girl. But she needs to let go of her past and work through her issues, or else that is what she will pass on to her daughter. Yes, lots of people have lots of terrible things in their past (and I'm not talking about abuse, which is separate to me). But at some point when you are an adult, you can either let your past define you and be your excuse, or you can accept it for what it was and decide that your future is going to be different . . . and then do the work to make that happen.
    jucamer and AlwaysVeg like this.

  6. #1016
    FORT Fogey Dragonlady's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    Quote Originally Posted by KatesMom View Post
    Yes, lots of people have lots of terrible things in their past (and I'm not talking about abuse, which is separate to me). But at some point when you are an adult, you can either let your past define you and be your excuse, or you can accept it for what it was and decide that your future is going to be different . . . and then do the work to make that happen.
    Thank you for writing this! I've been saying this...altho not as well worded as you....for years.
    There just comes a time when you are responsible for your life, instead of your past.
    I see people in their 50's going to therapy because of their childhood....after awhile it just becomes an excuse and easier than doing something about those things you don't like.
    Brilliant post, KatesMom .
    KatesMom and Coco46 like this.

  7. #1017
    FORT Fogey Debb70's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    I just read that Jason is forbidding Bethenny from taking Bryn on a business trip to Australia. It is a long trip, for her to have to stay in a hotel trip while her mom works. (Time change too.) I get it.

  8. #1018
    FORT Fogey Dragonlady's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    Well, good for Jason! That's just ridiculous to take a little child on such a long trip and then have nannies to take care of her while she works. And please don't think I'm condemning her working....but really what's the point of taking Bryn?

    Could it be that Bethanny does what makes Bethanny happiest most of the time....she probably thinks she can't bear to be without her child ...for even one minute..when she can on her schedule...so the child will have to do whatever makes Bethanny feel better.
    This way Bryn will always be there when Mommy comes home...for maybe an hour before bedtime.
    It just makes me so sad for kids.

  9. #1019
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    This is all so sad ... yes, especially for Bryn, but really for all of them. I would like to know what Jason did to deserve this. He seemed to me to be the best husband for Bethenny: down-to-earth, family-oriented, loving, understanding and accepting of her many quirks. Just what did he do, or what was there about him, that she couldn't live with?

  10. #1020
    FORT Fogey KatesMom's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Ever After

    The only thing I can say to that is that the only people who really know are Bethenny and Jason. We can speculate - Lord knows she, in particular, has given us enough material to do that. But behind closed doors? No one but them knows. I compare it to my husband. He is a really great guy, absolutely. But he is not perfect and he has some things he does that drive me absolutely batty. Sometimes I seriously think I have 3 kids. But his 3 sisters grew up looking at their dad as this perfect man. And they have decided that my husband, as his son, must be the same way based on what they have seen. Because he acts differently when we are at family functions (which by the way, drives me crazy)! And the funny part is that their dad is not perfect either, and my husband and I have been over there when his parents get in some pretty big fights. So it is really all in what we see - or in some cases, what we choose to see.
    jucamer and AcookerTV like this.

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