It just hit me that Tamra is displaying sociopathic behavior. So is Heather to an extent.
Has anyone heard of gas lighting and sociopathic / bullying behavior?
Empathic people are natural targets for sociopaths - protect yourself -- Science of the Spirit -- Sott.net
This article describes and gives examples of a child as well as someone in the workplace.
"Psychotherapist Christine Louise de Canonville describes different phases that the abuser leads the relationship through:
• the idealisation stage, where the sociopath shows herself in the best possible light - but this phase is an illusion, to draw her target in
• the devaluation stage begins gradually so the target is not alert to the sociopath's transformation to being cold and unfeeling, but will begin to feel devalued at every turn; the more distressed the target becomes, the more the sociopath enjoys her power, and her abuse can become more extreme
• the discarding stage - the target is reduced to an object to which the sociopath is indifferent, seeing the game as won; the sociopath rejects any connection, moving on to the next target.
Gaslighting does not happen all at once so, if you suspect in the early stages of a relationship that you are being gaslighted, you can protect yourself by walking away. "
I really think I was just a victim of this - probably for the last 6 months, at least, if not longer.
I am relieved that I finally saw her for what she really is and what she was doing. Also lucky that others witnessed the behavior and didn't let me be out there on my own.
The devaluation stage was subtle as in teasing but taking digs at my organization skills or an idea I'd bring up or putting me down as a suck up or brown noser when someone else gave me kudos for something. It was odd and I really thought I was being too sensitive or just overly emotionally. She even apologized once and said sorry if she seemed overly bitchy/snappy to me in front of everyone. At that point, I thought, ok, I wasn't imagining her doing it, now she's admitting it but apologizing for it so I can forgive and move on. Now I realize I need to trust my gut instinct better next time, especially when it kept happening!!