Originally Posted by swissmiss150;4043724;Originally Posted by norealityhere;4043920;Well, it's going to be kind of tricky to discuss variances in viewer reactions to this show without breaking the rules of the forum, but leave it to me to be fool enough to try.Originally Posted by Hobbes07;4043968;
Wish me luck.
Let's start with that forum rule. It's not unique, lots of forums have something similar, and another thing those forums tend to have in common is a particular focus that is not in any way related to ethnic divisions or any other soggy vegetable in that unwholesome stew that we call "social ills."
Typically, these are forums focused on fashion, or polymer clay jewelry, care and feeding of clarinets - or reality shows!
In almost every culture, children are taught some form of social interaction guidelines that center, as all etiquette does, on doing your best to make sure that those around you have a nice time.
And in almost every culture, this includes taking extra care to discuss things like politics and religion, maybe for people who are health care professionals we'd add something like details of diseases and surgeries - in an appropriate venue.
This rule is so universal because it is almost universally true that some subjects have a high potential of making at least somebody at any random social gathering not have a nice time.
Forums that exist for the purposes of discussing fashion, reality shows, etc. have that in common with offline dinner parties and book clubs and things.
Racism and ilk are belief-based phenomena, and they have that in common with religion, and in some cultures, also with politics.
Because there is almost invariably a fairly wide to massive chasm of variance in the way people with some attitudes, opinions and beliefs perceive themselves and the way they are perceived by people who maybe have a different life experience, and/or who happen to have a long and/or marked history of being impacted by those beliefs, it's really unlikely that any discussion of the subject between the person with the belief, etc, and the person with a wildly different perspective is going to be either useful or productive for either participant, and almost certain that it will be unpleasant for the other guests, regardless of their own beliefs, perspective, experience, being impacted, etc.
Regardless of our own personal feelings, beliefs, situation, whatever, we don't use social gatherings - or their online equivalent - as an opportunity to identify people with the belief, "call them out," demonstrate to other people that they have the belief by "tripping them up," or cackle triumphantly when something "just slips out."
Nor are we going to whisper behind our hands, or engage in sotto voce utterances calculated to draw attention to that person's belief, get involved in debates about anybody's conflicted feelings about the belief, or the way anybody perceives themselves vis a vis the way people with different perspectives see them.
Their belief, their participation in behaviors and activities that impact us, is not going to cease or change as a result of us doing any of those things, anyway.
That's one of those roads they gotta walk all by themselves.
No matter how much noblesse oblige may run in our veins, our sole obligation to the greater good in a social gathering is to be polite and follow that social gathering rule we learned when we were 4, and use those occasions to discuss different topics, things that we do have in common, get the person on either side of us to tell all about themselves, and generally do our part to increase the chances that everyone present will have a nice time.
That is the polite thing to do.
People on reality shows do not always do the polite thing, even if they were taught how to when they were little.
Reality show producers do not want them to do the polite thing, in order to increase their chances of having a nice time at their very own villa in Tuscany.