The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

[Shoepie]

I've been that immediate family member, and I know what I experienced. Life and relationships change.

Yep, me too, been there for addiction and cancer and death.

[Fanny Mare]

Yep, me too, been there for addiction and cancer and death.

Yep, me too.

[Duckyface]

And me. I think how we react is often a part of who we are. How betrayed and hurt we feel depends on how important that persons love is to us, and how responsible we feel for them.

We so often want the one we love deeply back and allow ourselves hopes that this time that will happen, rather than facing that things are not really going to change until the person involved wants them to and no matter how fiercely we love them and try to control them to do what is best for them, we can't. It's out of our hands.

Sometimes we need to let go despite our fierce love because it can hurt us and our children and spouse. Addicts can't have it both ways. They can't keep expecting family to be there and support and rescue them, which is mentally anguishing, time after time, make promises and dash hopes over and over, make these people feel guilty and tricked and unloved and then want no one to ever be angry or hurt or damaged by them. After all they're the addict, it's all about them right, no one else has a right to be damaged and hurt and angry. But yes, they do have that right.

So you either deal with them and end up not trusting, sadly loving, frightened of the hurt the addict can inflict, or you let go and you deal with the guilt of letting go, guilt put on you by the addict, their friends, your family, society at large. It's a hard choice and either way isn't easy and this situation where you have to choose is not of your own making, but forced upon you. It' kinda stinks.

I can't judge Kim, she's sick, and I think she still is mentally impaired even if she's all clean and sober.

I can't blame Kyle either because I know what it is to be on the other side, and there are no good choices really.

[Moontat]

Duckyface,
I couldn't have said it better, thank you!

[Debb70]

I do not doubt that dealing with Kim has been horrific for Kyle and her family. I know. I've been there. My brother almost put our parents in the grave, however, when you are that close to it, you should educate yourself about the disease. Just winging it, doesn't cut it. You need to learn the truth and give yourself the tools you need to deal with a family member who's an addict. There seemed to be a fair amount of codepency going on there too. As Dr. Phil says, You can't change what you don't acknowledge.

[buttahfly]

camille really got on my nerves this episode.

so if you thought what brandi said was so wrong, why did you say the thing abt lisa's ownership of sur? two wrongs don't make a right camille.

and she CLEARLY was lying abt the phone call/convo w brandi when adrienne was plotting to attack lisa on the reunion.

oh, tptb=the powers that be

What does TPTB mean? I think perhaps her "secrets" are something everyone in the group knows but they know better than to say out loud and on camera. It isn't really a secret that the Maloof family only owns 2% of the palms. She was originally friends with Adrienne, so I do wonder how much Adrienne confided in her--though I wonder why as she has no filter and does not think before she says something.

Kyle sure does like to stir the pot though and then pretend like she wasn't trying to cause any trouble. I detest people like that. She isn't an idiot--she knows exactly how to push buttons and get the drama going.

I do wonder where Camille's accusation about SUR came from. Lisa never has hidden her partner, but is there more to the story? Or did Adrienne tell her that? She is one of those who is up Adrienne's butt after all. It was obvious she knew about Brandy's allegations but didn't want to admit it in public.

I find it interesting that Adrienne is claiming she isn't suing Brandy next week. I hope Brandy has the proof ready.

[buttahfly]

for some reason, i felt like kim was lying abt talking to the dr abt her addiction.

OH! and his comment abt her deviated septum REALLY makes me believe brandi was right and kim was snorting meth/coke/something.

Kim, pain meds and staying clean and sober is her business. Her doctor has been informed. Stay out of it, for cryin out loud.

[buttahfly]

i am convinced bravo wants us to know kim was on more than alcohol . . . . deviated septums are common in people who snort drugs. and they showed her drug trash in the limo last season.

The question of who paid for the nose job may or may not come up. I thought her health insurance paid, the way her doctor kept saying how bad her deviated septum was. He must have commented on it at least 5 times.

[prhoshay]

I'm glad I never had to deal with addiction from "a front row seat".

[lilymax]

It seems really dangerous to me that Kim is willing to live out her addiction/sobriety issues in front of the cameras. Yes, i suppose it might make you think twice about relapsing when the world is watching, but it's all about you and what you decide to do with your life, and it seems to me the stress of being in the public eye so much would be a negative thing. Hell, the idea of being in a fishbowl like these women are makes me want a drink, and I don't drink!

I have anxiety/panic issues which a very good doctor told me he believes are related to a chemical imbalance in the brain. I can tell you I would not be able to handle living my life in such a public way. I would be eating the benzos like candy! Kim seems to me to have some form of anxiety, which often people will self-medicate down to "normal" by drinking and/or using drugs. I can totally relate, because further exploration of my own issue led me to believe that all the partying i did when I was in my 20's was really an attempt to relax and feel normal. I could not socialize without anxiety. Drinking helped. Of course, this was not the way to handle my particular problem, which I found out later on. I did need meds to deal with my particular issue. I'm ok with that because I've come to see that mine is a physical problem. I realize that there are those who wouldn't and don't agree with me on this, but that doesn't bother me as it's my life and I've not had any issues regarding my meds.

Maybe being on camera isn't a problem for Kim because she sort of grew up that way, I don't know.