The Real Housewives of New Jersey

[Poppy Fields]

I grew up in the 50's and 60's in Louisiana as one of 11 eleven kids. We were not permitted to be sassy with adults, and by that I mean we were not permitted to ridicule them or contradict them. But, by God, we were encouraged to defy them under certain circumstances - like if they decided to swat our behinds, send us to bed without supper, get in our personal space (like our underpants), or insist that we get in a car with them (even if we knew them well).

They were not permitted to scold us unless we were in their care (as in babysitting us). Not even our grandparents were permitted to do this. And our parents never scolded us in front of anyone. We were taken aside and spoken to. Because they respected us, too, and humiliation wasn't part of discipline.

[ness]

I grew up in the 50's and 60's in Louisiana as one of 11 eleven kids. We were not permitted to be sassy with adults, and by that I mean we were not permitted to ridicule them or contradict them. But, by God, we were encouraged to defy them under certain circumstances - like if they decided to swat our behinds, send us to bed without supper, get in our personal space (like our underpants), or insist that we get in a car with them (even if we knew them well).

They were not permitted to scold us unless we were in their care (as in babysitting us). Not even our grandparents were permitted to do this. And our parents never scolded us in front of anyone. We were taken aside and spoken to. Because they respected us, too, and humiliation wasn't part of discipline.

I grew up in Georgia in the 50s and 60s.

The mindset back then in our neighborhood, church, etc., was that ALL children in that neighborhood, etc., were EVERYBODY'S children. And the standards for the public behavior of children back in those days in my neck of the woods was HIGH. All adults in our orbit welcomed immediate public correction, and/or scolding, by whatever adult their child happened to be by --- who happened to be present and accounted for if THEY weren't --- if the child in question was acting out, loud, and so on.

Example: Say I was in a store, no blood family adult with or around me, and I was with a group of friends, being loud, acting out, touching or playing with merchandise, etc. (I wouldn't've done that, anyway, but this scenario is just for an example's sake). If an adult that knew me happened to run across that, chances are, that person knew me AND all of my posse. And even if it was only me the adult knew, we were ALL CALLED OUT, RIGHT THEN, RIGHT ON THE SPOT. And, yep, The Law already had been informed about the situation by the time we got home, and my/our behinds got shellacked.

Really, it never would've occurred to any adult in our world to NOT scold/correct/reprimand a misbehaving child that they knew. And the other side of the coin is that if we got hurt, sick, etc., and none of our blood adults were around, we were looked after by whatever adult that knew us WAS around, up to and including making hospital runs, if it came to that.

The mindset/reasoning was: You. Are. A. Child. You're OUR child. You're ALSO the neighborhood's, church's, school's, beauty shop's, etc., child. When a child is in the wrong, an adult must stop them RIGHT AT THE TIME, AT THE SCENE OF THE FELONY, SO THEY'LL CLEARLY KNOW AND UNDERSTAND IMMEDIATELY WHY THEY ARE BEING SCOLDED/REPRIMANDED/CORRECTED, ETC.

And MOST of the time, the lesson was learned --- BECAUSE of being called out immediately --- and was never repeated.

Which, for me, was why I didn't bat an eyelash when Caroline and Jac got on to Gia for her meltdown. I grew up with that mindset. I understand it. Now, Jac was way off in trying to READ something to Gia when she was going off like she was. But I do understand the idea behind WHY she and Caroline addressed the situation with Gia before Teresa came into it.

Oh, and SURE, we had rules of the road that dictated our boundaries and behavior in dealing with adults who overstepped THEIR boundaries with US: No opening the door for for any adult for any reason --- even if that adult happened to be somebody you knew very well, who'd known you before you'd even been BORN --- if an adult was not present in your home at the time. No intimate touching by ANY adult (male or female) was EVER allowed. No getting into any car with any adult. No going off with any adult (male or female) that offered you candy, or whatever. Those rules were ABSOLUTE LAW, too, and we were expected to follow them to the letter with no excuses, and so on, attempted to be offered for why they WEREN'T followed. We were expected to get loud, go buck wild, do whatever we had to do (bite, scratch, kick crotches, and so on) to put whoever the idiot was on public blast that had crossed us, and get AWAY.

Plus, all of us knew right from wrong and could run like hell, if we needed to.

And it's funny, but I never in my life, not ONCE that I recall, had to resort to going nuts or eating up the concrete to handle an adult who crossed the line with me, because no adult that I knew ever did. And in the instances where I was aware of insanity like that happening with someone I knew, the adults dealt with whoever the adult was who'd messed up and crossed the line.

[Dragonlady]

ness, I hope you know that I wasn't criticizing....I only wanted to point out that people often feel sorry for the poor little victim, who I don't always see as a victim.
If someone treats you badly on a continued basis, you need to do something about it....even to the point of dumping them.
Teresa needs to wake up....mostly, before her girls are ruined by their father, mostly.

[ness]

ness, I hope you know that I wasn't criticizing....I only wanted to point out that people often feel sorry for the poor little victim, who I don't always see as a victim.
If someone treats you badly on a continued basis, you need to do something about it....even to the point of dumping them.
Teresa needs to wake up....mostly, before her girls are ruined by their father, mostly.

DL,

PUH-LEESE!

Of COURSE I know you weren't criticizing, and I absolutely, TOTALLY agreed with what you said in your post. I just didn't know if what I'd said earlier was clear.

I mean, facts are facts. Nine times out of ten, when the subject of Juicy comes up, a lot of us, ME INCLUDED, are ripping him up one end and down the other for how he talks to, through, at, and down to Teresa. Speaking strictly for Yours Truly, I KNOW there might've been times when I've come across as bashing only him for HIS behavior, when in truth, even though he behaves like a complete jerk towards her, SHE'S just as guilty as HE is for that situation, because she --- the bread-earner --- hasn't chosen yet to tell him to get the hell to steppin'.

And as sad and pathetic as this situation is, that ain't on NOBODY but Teresa.

After all, cain't nobody ride your back if you don't bend over and let 'em climb on!

I'm with you from A to Z on this!

LOL!

[Lizard]

The wilder people were a little more hidden or removed when I was a kid. A party of well meaning friends is ok I guess. I am not sure how I would feel. My mother would have been bent out of shape if anyone criticized or repreprimanded us. Only crotchety nuns with rulers and Lysol were free to do that. Such beautiful memories.

[mom2]

I think Gia knows how to treat people outside of the show, otherwise all we would hear about would be Gia disrespecting teachers and bullying at school. I don't believe she does that, so she knows how to show respect to adults. I think she's been almost brainwashed by her parents into NOT respecting the other cast members so that she feels she can address them as her parents do.

Gia was wrong in how she dealt with the adults and her mother just added to the problem again. Jacqueline reading that book was just stupid, but I agree that Caroline did not have to put up with a child screeching at her.

Again, Where Was Teresa?? She saw - like everyone else - how upset her daughter was, so why did she wait to be called to comfort her? Also, when she didn't reappear for awhile, Go See How She Is. Tree is just not ever gonna set the world on fire with brilliance.

Who would put everyone's family on one team, and the child on the other? Ohhhh, Jacqueline. Smart thinking again.

[PA Snow Bunny]

If Gia wanted her mother so badly she has 2 perfectly good feet to take herself there. She had her temper tantrum because this is the only way she knows how to handle stress...scream, pout & cry just like mommy dearest. She will learn the table flip soon enough.

I grew up in 60's NE Pennsylvania. It was common for adults to reprimand you. My mom knew I did something wrong even before I did it. I think I had to go to confession every Saturday. That is just the way thing were. Even with my sons, the "mommy network" was very fast & efficent. I would not think twice if another adult called one of my kids out for misbehaving.

[momrek06]

I think Gia knows how to treat people outside of the show, otherwise all we would hear about would be Gia disrespecting teachers and bullying at school. I don't believe she does that, so she knows how to show respect to adults. I think she's been almost brainwashed by her parents into NOT respecting the other cast members so that she feels she can address them as her parents do.

Gia was wrong in how she dealt with the adults and her mother just added to the problem again. Jacqueline reading that book was just stupid, but I agree that Caroline did not have to put up with a child screeching at her.

Again, Where Was Teresa?? She saw - like everyone else - how upset her daughter was, so why did she wait to be called to comfort her? Also, when she didn't reappear for awhile, Go See How She Is. Tree is just not ever gonna set the world on fire with brilliance.

Who would put everyone's family on one team, and the child on the other? Ohhhh, Jacqueline. Smart thinking again.

Gia wears TWO hats … an ON tv hat and then her OFF tv hat.

Her ON tv hat shows us the viewers that she is a spoiled brat. Her OFF tv hat well I cannot comment because I do not know her off the show BUT I believe she DOES know how to treat people. So when she is ON tv she has to show off and grab the STAGE. Like she did with the family field day.

[ness]

mom2 and momrek, the thought never crossed my mind, but I DO think the two of you are on to something, about Gia acting one way for the cameras, and another when she's not being filmed.

That makes too much sense. Yep, we DEFINITELY would've heard about it if she conducted herself in that manner away from when filming is being done. If she consistently behaved that way in school, or any outside activity like, say, her gymnastics group, etc., I really don't think she'd've been allowed to get away with that and would've been booted off the squad, or suspended or permanently barred from her school, I think.

And Snow Bunny, I HAD to SMH and laugh at your lines about Gia having two perfectly good feet that she could've used to go run and find her mother, if that was REALLY what she wanted to do, and being in line to do the table flip.

Too true, and TOO funny!

And, too sad, as well.

[Poppy Fields]

She could have run to find Teresa, except for the fact she was being filmed and was expected to stay right where she was. Just my guess. Why were the cameras there, if not? All the real action was outside.