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Thread: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

  1. #5091
    Vidiot 13 is a Winner Champion Poppy Fields's Avatar
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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    I have one sister-in-law who's hated me for 30 years. She's notoriously rude (and sometimes mean) to me. I don't know why - I used to care.

    Early on in our marriage, my husband saw this pattern of behavior with his "baby" sister and never talked to her about it. When she realized she couldn't get me upset (at least visibly), she ignored me. That was fine by me. But when my kids were born, she started being mean to them! She'd say mean, unkind, and hurtful things to them from the time they were quite little. At that point, I just stopped attending most of his families get togethers. Eventually, so did my husband. I didn't ask him to do this.

    Siblings have to accept each other's spouses, or just get out of the way. Period. There's really nothing to "negotiate."
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  2. #5092
    FORT Fogey Lizard's Avatar
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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    I missed it. Will watch. I will say that I think Theresa has a loving husband.

  3. #5093
    FORT Fogey KeepItReal's Avatar
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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    My problem with Melissa is that she seems to want it this way. Melissa seems to think that her siblings are a substitute for Joey's sister. They are not. That is his sister, and while T has to learn that she's not the #1 woman in his life anymore, Melissa must also learn that being #1 does not mean that you are the only one. It's common for certain people to want to isolate their spouses, to become all that they have, so that they become fearful of ever losing it. If that's what Melissa wants in a man that's fine, but Joey doesn't have to agree to be that. It's hard to sit back and watch the brother that you love be manipulated by a woman and T would know, because, as they say, game recognizes game. Joey is used to being pulled around by a strong woman-be it T or Melissa. Would not surprise me one bit if sweet little old mama was the same way back in the day-may explain why T feels the need to "love" her brother the way that she does. What T must learn is that to sit back quietly and support is what her brother really needs, not a bulldog bodyguard of a sister.

    I, too, am close to my only sibling. I'm not crazy about his fiance. He could have done better, could have done worse. I would never let him know that. I, myself, have many siblings-in-law. I get along with them just fine....except for one sister. I'm sure there are little horns hidden under that head full of hair. She's manipulative. My husband knows it. He doesn't need me to chirp it into his ear while he sleeps in an effort to brainwash him. I also don't report every little infraction in order to develop this wedge between them. I handle her, and I don't do it in a dramatic way. We had one conversation about her and one only. The only conversation we needed to have. He heard what I thought, but he also knows I would never want him to turn his back on his sister. There lies the difference between many spouses and a Melissa type. I know he needs his sister. He loves her. They have a history long before I was ever a thought in his life. I would mourn with him if he lost her. He doesn't need to try to change her, doesn't need for us to be best friends, he just needs me as a wife and her as a sister and for both of us to be happy with our places in his life. There is room for us both. Melissa does not understand this. She's a classic codependent. Controlling. manipulative, never did a thing wrong to make this situation worse. Nope, I can't stand the likes of her. I know her type.
    Last edited by KeepItReal; 06-22-2011 at 03:19 PM.
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  4. #5094
    FORT Fogey luvsginger's Avatar
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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    I am not sure if this has been brought up in this thread but is Caroline the host of a radio show that specializes in repairing family relationship issues? I missed the last episode in it's entirety but did catch a few scenes where she says things like "I don't care", "make it work" like she says to Teresa in regards to her relationship to her brother.

    Am I not mistaken in that Caroline and her sister Dina have not spoken for months if not years? Who is Caroline to hand out advice when obviously she can't make her own family dynamic work. I actually like Caroline but she is a tough one to read, one minute she comes off ass "Ms Tough matriarch of some big Italian clan" the next minute she is crying like a baby over something a "prostitute whore, engaged 19 times" did. I don't think Caroline is as strong as she tries to come off as. I don't like the way she is so wishy washy, if she were to stick to one personality I think she would come off more credible. Again, I am not sure if the rumors are true in regards to Caroline and Dina's relationship but nonetheless I still feel she is wishy washy.

    Melissa is a snake, she knows what pushes Teresa's buttons and she is plain and simply JEALOUS of her husband's close relationship with his sister. I come from the same situation with my sister in law. Sadly, the wife usually wins especially if the husband is a strong family man, he will do everything in his power to make his family happy.

    Let's not forget that there are THREE women in Joe's life. If the stereotype is true, Italian men are very close to their mamas and mama seems to be siding with Teresa .... don't tell me Melissa is not jealous of her husband's relationship with his mother. Funny how both Joe's mother and his sister don't get along with Melissa, what does that tell you?

  5. #5095
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    I had a hateful sister-in-law. I waited her out and she finally DIED!!! I won!!!

    Dancin' with the devil in the pale moonlight!
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  6. #5096
    FORT Fogey KeepItReal's Avatar
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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    Quote Originally Posted by prhoshay View Post
    I had a hateful sister-in-law. I waited her out and she finally DIED!!! I won!!!

    Dancin' with the devil in the pale moonlight!
    I shouldn't be laughing....but I am.
    "Worrying does not take away tomorrow's troubles, it takes away today's peace".

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  7. #5097
    FORT Fogey Dragonlady's Avatar
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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    Quote Originally Posted by prhoshay View Post
    I had a hateful sister-in-law. I waited her out and she finally DIED!!! I won!!!

    Dancin' with the devil in the pale moonlight!
    Good lord! But that made me laugh really hard. Shame on me but it sure was funny!

  8. #5098
    FORT Fogey Dragonlady's Avatar
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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    There are so many things to address regarding these crazy mixed up people but it would take forever to touch on them all.

    - I think Melissa has to be/will not settle for anything less than being #1 in Joey's life. She probably thinks she can outlive the mother and if she villifies Teresa enough, she can be eliminated. I don't think Teresa wants to be #1. She just wants to be part of Joey's life.

    - Caroline has a Godfather-complex. She should have been a boy and the head of the family. She just doesn't have as much power as she would like, esp in an Italian family and she never will. It was easier when she was in charge of her kids but now, she has power over no one. I also think she has washed her hands of Teresa.

    - Most men really don't want to be involved in these emotional family feuds. A smart woman should know that. She can handle it by not letting the nasty little witch (whoever that may be) get under her skin. At least, don't let her know that she irritates you. Just like Poppy and Keep it Real's post above: There are ways to handle it while still having a good marriage and decent family encounters. Of course, it's easier to say and do when you're older and wiser. I'm sure when I was young I would have preferred to rip their faces off instead of being a gracious relative.

    But I have to remind myself that there are people, and I think Melissa and Teresa are prime examples, who love, love, love this kind of emotional turmoil. Life would be boring without it and if it's not there, they'll create it. Learned this at the knee of my Italian emotional vindictive mother who had some problem with everyone she knew.

    - We need better names for Juicy Joe and Joe Gorga. I get confused with the T-Joe, Joey G, etc because I'm not sure who we're talking about.

  9. #5099
    FORT Fogey Lizard's Avatar
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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    I have not spent much time with my sister in law to be. All I can tell you is that I feel love for her. I also feel love for my fiance's long time ex. I guess I have some sort of momma complex. I want to be mothered, and I want to mother others. That being said, I don't understand taking jabs at Theresa. Is it a fighting for attention in a big family complex. She is Catholic. Where did the in bred guilt (do unto others). What comes around goes around, go? It might be the influence of classmates. And people do learn and change. It makes you feel good to be around good people.

  10. #5100
    FORT Fogey Lizard's Avatar
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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    Excuse all the chopped sentences...typing on an ipod

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