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Thread: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

  1. #4821
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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    I know most won't agree but:

    I honestly think Melissa's husband was very out of line. He was drunk and being an ass.

    I do not think Teresa did anything wrong.

    I am gonna love me some Kathy this season. Her hubby is crazy funny!!

  2. #4822
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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    Quote Originally Posted by srwiner View Post
    I know most won't agree but:

    I honestly think Melissa's husband was very out of line. He was drunk and being an ass.

    I do not think Teresa did anything wrong.

    I am gonna love me some Kathy this season. Her hubby is crazy funny!!
    Totally agree

  3. #4823
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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    Okay I sat down yesterday & watched all 90 painful minutes of the show.

    Melissa...in order for your son to be in Jesus's kingdom he would have had to pass on. According to the catholic religion a child is born without sin. His christening is part of his indroduction to the catholic faith. Like I said in a previuos post, I very much doubt these people see the inside of a church very often.

    Teresa & Joe were BOTH at fault for that took place at the dinner. Joe was beyond drunk...Teresa that was not the time to talk to your brother. I was waiting for a table flip.

    Danille & Ray J???

    I very much doubt I will be watching another episode of this.

  4. #4824
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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    Oh, my Lord, compared to the tinny tinkle of the New York ladies' jewelry or the nasal drawls of the OC ladies' whining, this last episode was great. A journey back to Jersey, land where the tables must be sturdy and the tans must be orange.

    Bravo does something we've never seen before; we see the big event, the season defining bust-up right away, and then flashback to "one week earlier." As if the show wasn't staged enough.

    Anyway, once we get in to the real-ish narrative, we start off with Caroline "Thief Thick" Manzo, her hubby and her two sons showing off the two lads' new digs in not-quite, very-nearly almost Manhattan.

    They're so 'almost,' I Ragazzi Manzo, aren't they? Albie was almost a lawyer, Chris was almost a king of local sleaze, now they almost have plans for the future and are almost interesting. It’s like watching kids who keep dipping their toes in the water, or approaching the edge of the diving board. Chris (whose gotten chubbier) seems to find making fun of "Cajuns" hillarious and may (God help us) be planning some kind of career in comedy. I don't think all the name recognition in the world will help with a complete dearth of talent. Was it me or did everyone else's laughter at his gibberish look more patronizing than anything else?

    And doesn’t Albie, former Sex God King Albie, look old and tired and pointless now?

    Caroline snivels and squalls about her empty nest, in her usual overly dramatic La Scala way, as Lauren leans, lumpily, against a wall, feeling forgotten. What of her plans to open a salon, or at least "do" nails or makeup or sumpin? Is she still just tarting up Hoboken brides at the Brownstone? It seems that none of these children can really quite progress in life...but they're far from the worst with regards to that.

    In an effort to be 'multicultural' La Famiglia Manzo decide to cook 'southern food' because (a) nobody north of the swamps eats chili (b) people often serve chili with chicken fried steak, in a pecularly southern desire to clog up their arteries so bad they can smear their blood on bread like red butter and (c) everyone knows it's fun to make fun of southern people. Or mountain people. Or south western people. Or people who aren't New Jersey Italians and can't cook "pasta fazool" ("pasta e fagioli" in proper Italian). I imagine that years of the popularity of (and our revulsion at) "The Jersey Shore" and the oompa-loompa guidos, guidettes and such has made nearly all the inhabitants of the Garden State sullen, resentful and eager to find reasons to disparage the rest of us. What a Situation, Snookie!

    Okay, so can I take back quite a few of the nasty things I said about Juicy Joe? He's gone from being the Monarch of Marble to slinging pizzas in his restaurant but at least he's trying to support his family. He may be a grumpy poopy barrel-chested grouch nowadays, but who wouldn't be after what he's gone through? Having your fake empire crumble in public, being exposed for a too-slick-by-half guy and being married to the Consumption Tornado that is Tess must be difficult. No wonder he can't seem to drive sober or licenced, for example.

    Meanwhile, Tess is still Tess, still alternating wildly, neck-snappingly, between sweet devoted mother doing up her kids so pretty, and neglectful mother who lets her baby crawl down all those marble stairs. Between loving family lady who calls around to see how the families can make amends and shrieking banshee who doesn't know when to shut up. But I imagine that she's not pulling out wads of hundreds at Posche anymore.

    (Speaking of which, Kim Horrible and Kim Appalling don't seem to be in evidence this year. May it stay ever thus.)

    Then we have poor sad Clueless Jackie and her poor sad clueless brat Useless. Useless has a “job” (internship) in the city with some sort of PR firm, and informs her poor sad clueless mommy that she’d like an apartment in the city because commuting is ‘annoying’ and, frankly, beyond her. Clueless Jackie reasonably is annoyed with this (and with the discovery that her daughter is not being paid for her intermittent occasional dabblings in the world of work), which causes Useless to dissolve into resentful useless tears at the unfairness of it all. Later, Clueless and Useless meet up for lunch with blue eyed Chris, who is burdened with having to be the grown-up in the group, who makes some reasonable offers of help and encouragement to Useless. It dawns on Clueless that she’s rather superfluous so in a very brave and adult manner, she flounces out. Yes, Clueless, thank heavens you’re around to show Useless how mature people act.

    I know, let’s meet Melissa Gorgon, er, Gorga, and her husband, Tess’s estranged brother, Joe Gorgon (er, um, Gorga). Melissa is clearly a witch with a b, and has a hard time not making swipes and jibes at her SIL. “We pay OUR bills.” “We have tons of money.” “I’m really rich and Teresa isn’t.” Her bagger husband Joe (put a bag over his head and he’s effing gorgeous, look down at his face and not so much) is passionate about his wife and his family and his children and his newspapers and just about everything, to ill effect. But I’d still…you know…if he were available and I were free.
    Anyway, the Gorgons are having a christening for their baby boy and amazingly, not for the cameras-ly, they’re going all out with 150 guests (not Tess’s 200, you (are made to) understand). See, it’s the sacrament that will bring little Gorghino into “Jesus’s Kingdom” (and not last rites, which most people consider to serve that function, because Melissa keeps going on like she’s taking little Giuseppe Giunior to his ritual murder).

    Clearly Melissa has some funny ideas about God, because she’s constantly crossing herself to her Deity, whom she seems to think more like a Mafia Don In Space, dispensing sex advice and fixing problems for her. And so it’s appropriate for her and her sisters to get their Church-bound buzz on before the sacred sacrament. Joe the Stud Muffin (okay in certain angles the bag can come off and he looks nearly handsome) is seriously full of hatred for his sister, apparently because Juicy is whispering bad things about Stud Muffy to papa (and took papa and mama back to the goat shack just off the Rome- Naples Autostrada they all come from). I think it goes waaaay back – Tess was probably the apple of her daddy’s eye whereas Stud Muffin was probably abused (raised ‘tough’ according to papa-padone) a slight bit and the jealousy and rage has never quite dissipated. Bad for the family, good for Bravo! Do you also think that the monthly contribution of TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS to the Giudice's household budget, and not the Gorgon's, might have something to do with the jealousy, anger, and such? Of course not. Ha. Ha.

    We also meet Kathy, her husband Lebanese Rich (who, thank heavens, isn’t one of those Islamic Muslims who worship some sort of God from the Middle East desert lands or whatever), her knife-collecting son (that scene wasn’t staged, no, not at all) and her daughter. Kathy seems boring. Her husband seems engaging.

    This all, the seething and unhidden resentment, anger and hatred, comes together in a delicious made-for-TV vortex of anger and witchiness (and hot hot Italian testosterone) at the christening, or at least, mercifully, at the booze-up afterwards. Would anyone mind reading my thoughts on that in another post?

  5. #4825
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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    Would anyone mind reading my thoughts on that in another post?
    AngloAm, Can we make you an offer you can't refuse?

    Your recaps are 100x better than the show. Keep'em coming!!
    You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. ~Humbert

  6. #4826
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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    I'd like to read more of your thoughts on the subject, AngloAm. I always enjoy your episode recaps.

    It seems to me that the Manzo boys are progressing. At least they have "progressed" out the massive double doors of Villa Manzo - unless, of course, they are not really paying the rent on their new digs. I do like the apartment!

    I am also thinking that Kathy Walkie renders Caroline's role irrelevant. She might be the show's new semi-grounded, matronly, voice-of-reason housewife with a husband a lot more entertaining than Albert.

    I do like Joe the Pizza Boy a lot more than Joe the Builder. I'll try not to get too attached to his presence, though, as he may be doing time come July for bankruptcy fraud. Tess, too, although I think it unlikely that the Court will punish her as severely. Courts tend to be more merciful to people with cogitive disabilities.

    No one could be as useless and clueless as Trashley, especially considering her own brush with the law and her brief acquaintanceship with the reality of living on her own last year. Sorry, I think everything she is doing and saying on the show is completely scripted. Even her "job" with Gorman PR. I think the Lauritas are only in the cast to provide "filler" moments, anyway.

    I am looking forward to Tess's vying for the RHoNJ Princess title with Melissa and also hoping that we will see more of Teresa's live-in help (a/k/a her parents) this season.

    Oh, and Momrek? I think you're onto something there - definitely sounds like Teresa posting on RCH (or maybe Joe?)
    "Blessed is the lonesome pioneer." -- Judee Sill (1973, "There's a Rugged Road")

  7. #4827
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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    Quote Originally Posted by Bunny555 View Post
    Totally agree
    Spot on! He acted as if he needed a muzzle and a straight jacket.
    "Blessed is the lonesome pioneer." -- Judee Sill (1973, "There's a Rugged Road")

  8. #4828
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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    Quote Originally Posted by Poppy Fields View Post
    It seems to me that the Manzo boys are progressing. At least they have "progressed" out the massive double doors of Villa Manzo - unless, of course, they are not really paying the rent on their new digs. I do like the apartment!
    Well, what are they doing for an income. Vickie (RHOOC) needs to have a talking to with them. Albie has no known job IIRC and Chris just quit his.

    I am also thinking that Kathy Walkie renders Caroline's role irrelevant. She might be the show's new semi-grounded, matronly, voice-of-reason housewife with a husband a lot more entertaining than Albert.
    Yes, but can she wring tears and drama out of anything, even a shopping list, like Caroline can? I liked Rich too.

    I do like Joe the Pizza Boy a lot more than Joe the Builder. I'll try not to get too attached to his presence, though, as he may be doing time come July for bankruptcy fraud. Tess, too, although I think it unlikely that the Court will punish her as severely. Courts tend to be more merciful to people with cogitive disabilities.
    Goodness!

    No one could be as useless and clueless as Trashley, especially considering her own brush with the law and her brief acquaintanceship with the reality of living on her own last year. Sorry, I think everything she is doing and saying on the show is completely scripted. Even her "job" with Gorman PR. I think the Lauritas are only in the cast to provide "filler" moments, anyway.
    I think you're right. I think Gorman has business with Bravo so Useless was parachuted in. I really like Chris (Clueless's husband). This was the most we've seen from him so far I think.

    I am looking forward to Tess's vying for the RHoNJ Princess title with Melissa and also hoping that we will see more of Teresa's live-in help (a/k/a her parents) this season.

    Oh, and Momrek? I think you're onto something there - definitely sounds like Teresa posting on RCH (or maybe Joe?) [/QUOTE]

  9. #4829
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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    Quote Originally Posted by PA Snow Bunny View Post
    Okay I sat down yesterday & watched all 90 painful minutes of the show.

    Melissa...in order for your son to be in Jesus's kingdom he would have had to pass on. According to the catholic religion a child is born without sin. His christening is part of his indroduction to the catholic faith. Like I said in a previuos post, I very much doubt these people see the inside of a church very often.
    She probably meant that. She studied so much theology in college that she sometimes gets mixed up.

    Teresa & Joe were BOTH at fault for that took place at the dinner. Joe was beyond drunk...Teresa that was not the time to talk to your brother. I was waiting for a table flip.
    We did get the table pounding though, so once again, furniture had better watch out among these people.

    ...

    I very much doubt I will be watching another episode of this.
    I shall be riveted to it.
    Last edited by AngloAm; 05-18-2011 at 11:14 AM. Reason: Fix tags

  10. #4830
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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    i agree!!!!

    QUOTE=srwiner;4296340]I know most won't agree but:

    I honestly think Melissa's husband was very out of line. He was drunk and being an ass.

    I do not think Teresa did anything wrong.

    I am gonna love me some Kathy this season. Her hubby is crazy funny!![/QUOTE]

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