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Thread: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

  1. #2491
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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    Quote Originally Posted by ubidiah;3978047;
    I think that Jacqueline sends mixed messages to Ashley. She says one thing to Ashley then flips in front of Chris.
    Yes, she never quite refuted laughing at the "unbeWEAVEable" comment, but let her daughter take the heat for it. Again, sneaky sneaky sneaky.

    Why does Albie act as though they've made up the rules to specifically stop him from going to law school? They gave him a phone number and no one ever answered. That's crap. He should have gone back to the dean if that was the case right away.
    Theory: He wanted out of Seton Hall. Unable to tell Bullymom he got the number, dialled it once at three in the morning, didn't leave a message or follow-up and got invited not to return. Then oops! He finds out that he can't go to school anywhere else for two years, which means that Bullymom will want him for underpaid labour at the Brownstone (and maybe that he'd be under his brother Chris's supervision*). So now he has to do a bit of damage control and all this is designed to keep him in idle academia. Bullymom suspects a bit (constantly going on about all he wants to do is study-ha!) and so does Bullydad (his lie is that his son is a closted wimp).

    *I for one wouldn't mind being under Chris Manzo. Not his supervision of course.

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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    Quote Originally Posted by megan31917;3978221;
    Bravo instigated the whole thing.

    How boring would it have been to have the 3 women at the club....never speak....and then all go home? Bravo showed the clips from that show so many times because the rest of the time..nothing happened.

    All Bravo had to do was try to get them in close proximity to one another. Sitting across the room from one another wasn't going to do it....they had have T sit and wait for D.

    Bravo just had to sit back and film...one of them would end up saying something that would set the whole thing off....and before you knew it...it happened.
    Who else would Bravo use but T? Dina is gone...Caroline just keeps herself out of these situations and J is too dumb to follow along.
    T has a temper....doesn't like D....and so she is their puppet.

    It's not the same show as Season 1....because Bravo is scripting it too much. I just find myself watching these Housewives shows less and less.
    Evidence in support: Teresa swearing that she and D (semi-friends before) were 'done.' Now, she wants to be chatty and clear the air? When's she shown an interest in that before? There are better ways to clear the air than shouting at somebody across a lobby. There's also her utter lack of sincerity; she can't even fake it.

    But there's some money aspect to it - she only went totally bananas when the foreclosure was mentioned. I think it may have been much much too close to home, or rather Big Marble Box.

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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    Quote Originally Posted by ubidiah;3978431;
    I don't believe anyone told Ashley that Danielle hit her mom. She stood right in parking lot yelling at her mother and said she pulled Danielle's hair because she was a b*itch.
    Ashley's dumber than dirt, or rather not fully baked yet and still doughy.

    I agree, Albie slacked off in school and now cries disability. That all should have been taken care of the day he registered for classes, not after he already flunked out.
    I think they ask don't they, on your application form? And I'd think a good Catholic school like SHU would try to be obliging, even if it weren't the law. I still think leaving SHU was always the plan, the current oopsie, not so much. Must have been a nasty awakening.

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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    Quote Originally Posted by AngloAm;3979343;
    Evidence in support: Teresa swearing that she and D (semi-friends before) were 'done.' Now, she wants to be chatty and clear the air? When's she shown an interest in that before? There are better ways to clear the air than shouting at somebody across a lobby. There's also her utter lack of sincerity; she can't even fake it.

    But there's some money aspect to it - she only went totally bananas when the foreclosure was mentioned. I think it may have been much much too close to home, or rather Big Marble Box.
    She gave another little clue last night on WWHL. She said Danielle was spreading rumors (I'm betting everyone else in town was too over that juicy tidbit), and when Danielle said the thing about foreclosure, she was sure then, that Danielle was the one spreading rumors. Except, they weren't rumors, were they?

    Did Danielle make some crack about the house they lived in before this monstrosity? Ew! Do you suppose someone lived in it before Teresa? How skeevy.

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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    Quote Originally Posted by Poppy Fields;3978443;
    Jacqueline seemed to follow her lead, screaming about reading Danielle's court records (from 1984). Anyone who tempers their judgment of Ashley's behavior with sympathy for her youth should do the same for Danielle. She was 21 when she had her run in with the law (2 years older than Ashley). She pleaded guilyy to one charge of extortion and got 5 years probation. And she was no pampered, protected, darling of the family. She was on her own and probably turning tricks to survive and get her next coke fix. She's come a long, long way since then. Given Ashley's personality, stupidity, and nastiness, I have to doubt this will be her last brush with law enforcement. Let's hope she wises up.
    Wow.

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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    Fantastic recap!!

    There's one small detail that I might have misconstrued, and I bolded it (below).
    --------------------------
    Ashley is a Laurita changeling. Her last name is Holmes. Jacqueline was married at 19 or so to another man. Chris is in the clear as far as the Laurita genes, but I have to think Caroline is having a cow that J and Ashley are making such fools of the family. J wrote in her blog that she and Ashley's dad divorced when Ashley was around 18 mths, and that she met Chris when Ashley was around 5. (I forget the exact ages). They had an on again off again relationship due to geography, with J based in Vegas, and Chris in NJ. I believe Ashley was 12 or so, when she decided to leave Vegas, marry Chris, and move to NJ.

    I saw a picture of her dad with a foam "we're number one finger" sticking out of his pants zipper that she has posted on her facebook. Let's just say the apple didn't fall from the tree.

    Quote Originally Posted by AngloAm;3979277;
    Stone Temple Tess wanted nothing more than to stir her pot. Any protestations on her part to the contrary are utter BS. And uh, OBTW her home is in foreclosure as Sad Jackie let on. Just not the Stone Temple bought and paid for by fraud and bad intent.

    But holy hell, what a mess. First the scene in the North Joysee Country Club. Another chunk of Tess’s BS is that she said ‘honey’ all sweet and nice. This is a classic mean-girl trick – to communicate hostility and contempt behind blameless innocence. Mean girls are sneaky. Somehow the best thing was to discuss the values of Tess’s Temple and when Danielle said it was in foreclosure that’s what really set the Tessinator off. See, I figure that this was just about when she and Juicy’s bankruptcy was going through and she was awfully desperate to fare la bella figura – to make a good face. Which in her mind would be optimally done by shrieking like a fishwife and tearing off after Danielle.

    So Danielle scampers off weeping and wailing and overacting, and has to be shepherded out by her pretty bodyguard, backstreet guttersnipe bellowing obscenities hard on her cheap-ass broken heels. Danielle makes it out to the bushes where she cries and moans and whines while Tessinator practically bites the hands that are holding her. From nowhere Jackie decides to tell all and sundry that she read her court documents and that Danielle hit somebody with a gun once. Because that’s relevant as she’s running away from her. I guess. ?

    If you don’t think Tess threatened violence, think back to her comment “I’m from Patahson” Paterson, NJ’s crime is well above New Jersey’s averages. Tess figures herself a closet Donna Brasco, a real mob made moll. But the threat to anyone who could decipher it was clear. The minute she said that I thought – mmm maybe Danielle’s not so irrational after all.

    As Danielle is moaning and sobbing nasty little Ashley puts out a fat little hand and yanks her head HARD, pulling out some extensions and possibly some ‘real hair.’ At that Danielle emits a frightened little shriek and runs into Old Kim’s Bentley, to speed dial the police and demand that everyone be arrested.

    Because they’re so conciliatory and non-confrontational Tess and Sad Jackie (who has converted into her evil alter-ego, Steady Stare Jackie) head in their separate ways to the Bentley. Tess wants to convince everyone that she just wants to talk to Danielle, which is fooling nobody, and Steady Stare just stares, steadily. We find out that Awful Ashley yanked the weave to ‘protect’ her mother. Rather than going to see if mum was okay, she just committed assault. She’s got a MENSA future in front of her – but as the cleaning lady where they have their meetings. Steady Stare sends Awful Ashley home to resume staring, menacingly, at Danielle.

    Then both Kims, Old Kim and Shop Kim, prove they are as horrible and nasty as I have ever thought them by sliding over to where Tess is, and sympathizing with her. Oh, sweet camera time! It makes all four of their faces beam with delight.

    Proving her piercing intellect Awful Ashley tells the cops that since she only pulled the weave, she didn’t technically touch Danielle and therefore it wasn’t assault. Keep in mind this girl is the creation of timid-seeming Jackie and reasonable Chris. Either she’s a changeling or those Lauritas aren’t as nice as they seem…In any event, nobody is actually arrested, although Danielle demands it and is determined to press charges (and why not), and everyone goes off home in their respective luxo-barges.

    Next day Danielle confides in Desperate Dan who admits he can’t control himself, and goes off to meet Old Kim in some diner over cold French Fries. Now Old Kim I wouldn’t trust as far as I could throw the entire Garden State, and she just basically turns on her supportive friend act, with that little soupcon of classy mother figure. It’s an old routine with her, ever since she turned 80 years old it’s worked well. The classy mother figure is her exit strategy whenever Danielle’s antics become too much – she’s reminding us that she may at any point have had enough.

    Tessa and Steady Stare Jackie go off to Caroline to tell their tale and (hopefully) be rewarded – imagine their surprise when it doesn’t quite work out that way. Caroline doesn’t buy the “I just wanna say hi” crap, and is on record as saying that Jackie needs to develop a backbone with regards to Awful Ashley.

    Caroline has some worries of her own. Is it me or does Albie get a little less cute every episode? Albie apparently was given a telephone number to call for accommodation for his disability. When he called it nobody answered so he…what? Called back? Left a message? Left many messages? Found the address and went there in person? Told whoever it was who gave him the number to get another number or any kind of assistance? All we are told, circuitously by Caroline who dragged the information into a discussion of Albie’s need to fill in some apps, is that he called it once, got no answer and that’s why he never had his disability accommodated. My theory is that he gave the attempt the minimum effort he thought necessary and dropped it once it required more of him than a phone call. Sorry, Albs the world demands persistence even from golden pretty boys with Mugger Moms. A lawyer will be asking for salvation in the form of a fob-off letter from Seton Hall in the form of a letter saying essentially “We have tried to make a lawyer of him but have failed. We have no objection to your school trying.” Albie is apparently no pussy but he’s no big fighter either…based on what his mum said I’d never hire him as a consigliere.

    Jackie and Chris and Awful Ashley (a poster child for birth control) have a discussion in which nobody manages to convince the dreadful teen that she is one slice short of a loaf, and her biggest accomplishment is to make trouble for everyone else. Personally I was glad that Chris is one step from giving the appalling little girl the old heave-ho. Of course, with her astute and erudite mind, all the lumpy thing can say is “whatevurrrr.” (Code for “Oh, please, please, please punch me in the face, pretty please!!!”)

    Jackie goes on to play a silly game with Danielle’s energist. Oh, I’m sure she thinks it’s funny and clever to do what she did but (a) it shows that she’s a coward who couldn’t just call BS on the woman and hang up and (b)she needlessly harmed this woman’s ability to earn a living just out of spite and nastiness. The more you scratch Jackie the more you find a very sneaky underhanded and responsibility-avoidant personality. She’s like an apple with a worm in, all rosy on the outside, and rotten within.

    Tess and Juicy prove that they are morally, spiritually, intellectually and aesthetically unfit to raise a goldfish let alone four children. They revel in Tess’s bad behavior, simplistic justifications for it, before she flashes her new plastic ‘clevelidge’ for Joe. I learned more about Tess in that little five minute or less exchange than I had all two seasons up to that point. She really is low-rent and married exactly in her station. She’s back-streets all gussied up and fooling nobody. She’s money and not one iota more. She lacks the intermittent wisdom of Caroline, the pathos of Danielle, the on-again-off-again compassion of Jackie, but rolls all their bad traits (bullying, violent paranoia, fickleness) into one unappealing package.

    Based on this episode, where everyone acted in ways that would embarrass a toddler, I understand Danielle a bit more, but feel sorry for her in her on-going attempt to live in the real world, continue to loathe the Kims, and wouldn’t have dinner with Tess or Jackie for all the bling in Perth Amboy. Caroline I still waver on; she’s smart but for all her talk of family, except for the Albies, Christopher, and Lauren, she’d throw any of them under a bus for pins. Summary: They are all appalling.
    You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. ~Humbert

  7. #2497
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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    Quote Originally Posted by Kiz;3979443;
    Fantastic recap!!

    There's one small detail that I might have misconstrued, and I bolded it (below).
    --------------------------
    Ashley is a Laurita changeling. Her last name is Holmes. Jacqueline was married at 19 or so to another man. Chris is in the clear as far as the Laurita genes, but I have to think Caroline is having a cow that J and Ashley are making such fools of the family. J wrote in her blog that she and Ashley's dad divorced when Ashley was around 18 mths, and that she met Chris when Ashley was around 5. (I forget the exact ages). They had an on again off again relationship due to geography, with J based in Vegas, and Chris in NJ. I believe Ashley was 12 or so, when she decided to leave Vegas, marry Chris, and move to NJ.
    Arrgh I thought that Chris had a role in Ashley's life for longer than that; I meant to say that her personality was the product of the two of them. On reflection, I would think that Jackie treats Ashley like a sister/friend half the time because it's Jackie's shtick that she's not quite grown up. She plays games, with 'energists' and with people, while whining 'why can't we all get along?'

    That scene with her staring down, silently, stonily, while Danielle snivelled in the Bentley combined with Ashley pointing out that she laughed at the 'unbeWEAVEable' comment (I 100% believe she did) is very telling - somebody who refuses to grow up until she wants to act it.

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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    Quote Originally Posted by AngloAm;3979466;
    Arrgh I thought that Chris had a role in Ashley's life for longer than that; I meant to say that her personality was the product of the two of them. On reflection, I would think that Jackie treats Ashley like a sister/friend half the time because it's Jackie's shtick that she's not quite grown up. She plays games, with 'energists' and with people, while whining 'why can't we all get along?'

    That scene with her staring down, silently, stonily, while Danielle snivelled in the Bentley combined with Ashley pointing out that she laughed at the 'unbeWEAVEable' comment (I 100% believe she did) is very telling - somebody who refuses to grow up until she wants to act it.
    It would be very interesting to uncover all the reasons J doesn't parent Ashley as much as plays the friend. Maybe J grew up too fast and didn't get to enjoy her teen years and is living them through her bbf Ashley; she feels guilty for the early divorce and moving Ashley across the country and away from her friends and family; and plainly, J is very immature. Ashley called her two-faced, and as ugly as it is for a child to namecall a parent, I have to admit, she's right. Laughing about the unbeweavable facebook entry, then scolding her in front of Chris, and trying to deny the early schoolgirl giggling...poor form...and sends a terrible message to Ashley. Chris has his hands full, and though I'm sure he's made his fair share of mistakes (most parents do along the way), I have to give him credit for hanging in there. On the other hand, if he would stand behind his threats, Ashley may learn something from this whole mess.
    You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. ~Humbert

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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    Oftentimes single moms of an only child try to compensate and cut too much slack out of guilt. Not that there's anything to feel guilty about, per se, it just plays out that way.

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    Re: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

    I think Chris does stand behind his threats w. Ashley.
    It's Jacqueline who undoes things.
    In the case of Ashley, she actually goads her to the bad behavior - just like he did when she made that remark comparing Ashley to the grandma who was heavyset. She knew that pushed Ashley's buttons - Ashley said she'd done it before - yet she insisted on stirring the pot that time, too.
    In my mind, Jackie is one of those people who stirs a lot but always seems to come across unscathed.
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