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Thread: The Real Housewives of Orange County

  1. #2031
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    Re: The Real Housewives of Orange County

    Well lessee now...

    First, Ickie and Brianna went to Ickie's jeweller; Ickie was there to toss Donn a diamond-shaped shiny food pellet. Ms. Jeweller knows Ickie from way back and it showed. After all she assumed that Donn calls her nothing but bitch. Which we all do, really, even if only under his breath. But wasn't that a lovely awkward moment? Do you get the impression that the Jeweller Lady had figured out that the front of her establishment wouldn't be shown so there was no or not much free advertising to be had? Therefore, not much nicey-nicey with the racoon-eyed Ickie.

    Then Saint Boob of the Rack took two of her three live accessories to the nail salon to get their maniac petties done. I guess she never thought of them as actual children before (not really having had much to do with them until now), and didn't realize that maybe they were a bit too much real girls and too little cute arm danglers to appreciate having their cuticles sliced and their feet fiddled with. How annoying of the little ornaments. Somebody put them back in their box! Saint Boob did vouchsafe as how she 'studied' marketing but got into 'healthanfitness' - i.e., couldn't figure out how to put a table tent on a table because she was busy at the gym, I guess. Even though she's a 'stay at home mom' (the irony!) she's not one to sit around on her butt all day. Sometimes she gets up to direct the help!

    Then Poor Lynne and Little Big Nose get sliced and diced for everyone's judgement. At least Daddy Wozzisname still retains enough love for Poor Lynne to be worried about...well...we never did find out. I mean we assume that he's worried that she might not make 'it' but maybe he was worried that she would. I mean could you put up with Poor Lynne and her parade of insecurities on a long term basis.

    Next Ickie shows that even if you're her friend, you need to be careful. Just like she threw Earthjeana under the bus about the loan, she carefully and oh so subtly reminded TamRAA that the days of hired help are over for now. Now correct me if I'm wrong but the last time Ickie flew over to the annual insurance convention in West Palm Beach, didn't she turn down a request from Jeana to come with? So how (Bravo) does she now come to the idea that it'd be really cool to have 'the girls' along, including Gretch (Bravo)? Oh, it's contractually obligatory, Ickie! TamRAA notes that she can make up with Gretch because she, TamRAAA can be the bigger person. Remember that promise!

    Switch to Gretch taking bike lessons with hunky sexy Slade who isn't balding (so why didn't he take off his hat in the classroom?). Now Gretched did embarrass the 'boys' around her but that's just her pocket Marilyn Monroe shtick, she was actually friendly even to the less cute in the room, and she did ride her bike nearly perfectly, much better than sexy hunky Slade who maybe couldn't transfer the skills he picked up from when he was a competition bike racer, the tight spandex hugging his powerful legs and body like an AngloAmerican massage. Sadly, sexy hunky Slade had to mug for the camera and goof around as if anyone other than I were watching or caring. He's such a star in the theatre de Slade.

    Simon Says to TamRAAA that he wants her to take care of the kids even if pushing Tequila isn't as lucrative as it once was. He basically treats TamRAA like a little kid, which makes it more funny when he demands again, petulantly, that Wrong Ryan make a public apology before all the kids in the facebook playground. Because you see he's so mature. Is that odd to you too? Also, come to think of it, WTF - RYAN IS OVER 18!!! Why does Simon Says insist that anyone has to give him consequences? Simon Says really wants that public apology so gets in a few more passive-aggressive zings at TamRAA before leaving her crying again.

    Golf with the Lads time! Donn, Simon Says, and Frug all get together with Unnamed Fourth Person to make fools of themselves at a golf course they clearly had never been to. Note that Frug had to make fun of everyone else's playing (because that's how Frugs joke around, right), and brag about his own (because that's no nothings become somethings, right). Simon Says to giggle at every rude remark Frug says because now a big boy wants to play with him so they can all gang up on Donn and <whomever>.

    Resplendent in his loud yellow shirt and reeking of cigar fumes, Frug and the rest go drink beer, where Frug and Simon Says basically trash Donn's marriage, while Donn is too polite to point out the glaring, the obvious the Oh My God How Could You Miss Them flaws in their own hook ups. There's a lot of what my friends call
    Click to see Spoiler:
    dicksizing
    between the men about how much money they all have; at least Donn notes that other people aren't as blessed as these four, but of course that's lost on 'Godly' (Oh My Godly, more like) Frug.

    We learn that Frug is so Godly when Saint Boob has drinkiepoos with Gretch. After hitching her dress halfway around her enormous fake boobs and knocking back some martini, Saint Boob informs Gretch that she's really into, like, Biblical principles and such. (Though for goodness' sake don't quizz her on 'em.) After she spews a bit more smugness, we're left to wonder:

    1) Why she doesn't trust Frug enough to be away from him for a moment.
    2) Why she insulted Gretch by saying that she'd trust her 'desireable' Frug to be naked on a boat with Gretch and not do anything. Now come on. (a) Does she really want us to be crippled with THAT image, with the idea of Frug without clothes on? What did we do to deserve that? and (b) does she really think that Gretch would be impelled by the sight to toss her sense and taste aside and jump those bones????

    I don't think Gretch or anyone ever has been that hard up for affection. Not when she has hunky sexy Slade's sock puppet, or an 'adult toy,' or the dryer on spin cycle available. Heck the sight of Frug in the nude probably was used to strengthen the resolve of wavering novitiates at the convent - "This girls is the alternate to chastity! Look on it and weep!"

    What Saint Boob delivered was a subtle insult to Gretch and I think Gretch saw through it.

    TamRAA tries to keep Simon Says from pouting that he won't have funny-bunnies and jolly-wollies on the trippie-wippie to Florida as Simon looks ever more like a petulant attention-starved nine-year-old. No wonder TamRAA's always looking so upset - she has two juveniles vying for her attention. Just to stick a little more guilt into her, or horror, Simon Says that they have a perfect relationship, where he only puts up with what he wants to put up with.

    Saint Boob proves her dedication to God, er, herself and Frug by having Godly Botulism Toxin injected into herself, while ruminating that she doesn't know how many days, has lost count of the hours, she dedicates to good works, er, herself his libido, and her vanity. In the words of Chris Crocker: Bitch, p'leeeze.

    This way he never has to 'worry' that he'll have a frumpy wife. Newflash Boobie: He won't. Because when medicine and surgery can't arrest your face's collapse, you'll be gone pffft. Hope your prenups were okay as you have no way of supporting your silly self except as a high class and subtle whore. Just saying.

    Poor Lynn and Little Bashed Nose compare slicings and dicings and hammer whacks to the proboscis.

    These women aren't PEOPLE, they're prize show dogs.

    TamRAA goes to sell houses (WTF, sell houses in 2009 in Orange County????) with cute Marcos her boss.

    Ickie bonds with Donn, quickly, no appetizer, becuase she wants to get up to work early the next day so only a few moments to smell the roses. Mommajean was mommaright. Donn is daddylicious and if she doesn't keep him happy there's any number of people who'll elbow her aside. To her credit Ickie seems to have realized this (duh) and has had the required flashes of insight. Ickie-drama 2 is set up with Ickie complaining that Simon Says doesn't do what he ought...and that drives her nuts!

    Finally, TamRAA goes to bury the hatchet in Gretch's head. I mean with Gretch. All goes well, but it's hard to believe that TamRAA's sincere since she wants to catch Gretch in a lie (not good reconciliation type behaviour) and get her to 'fess up. She shows how she's the bigger person (remember, above) by issuing Gretch an ultimatum to take down her blog ENTRY (TamRAA ENTRY), because ultimata are always a good way to negotiate. Good thing Cute Markos is in charge of that at Doomed Dwellings Real Estate!

    And so we wait eagerly for the next episode; hoping that all we be well or at least somebody will clean up the blood stains.

  2. #2032
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    Re: The Real Housewives of Orange County

    Quote Originally Posted by swissmiss150;3767239;
    It's pathetic Alexis would even think about taking in children below the age of 3 for a manicure. What's left for these kids to experience when they reach the ripe 'old' age of 18 or so? They will already have done it all.
    Well be fair to St. Boob. Apart from a nasty series of events in maternity suites, she really hasn't met the children yet. How could she know what these little strangers like or dislike. It's just good she has an idea what their mummy named them.

  3. #2033
    FORT Fogey Prism's Avatar
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    Re: The Real Housewives of Orange County

    Nice long good descriptions of recent epi! All except for slimy slade. I think he's disgusting. Blech!
    "Not my circus. Not my monkeys"
    ~~ Old Polish Proverb ~~

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  4. #2034
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    Re: The Real Housewives of Orange County

    To each Gretch's own. I didn't realize how long it was until I posted it - sorry to hog so much space.

    I am not finding Sock Puppet a good person, just his outside turns me on. I seriously doubt that I could ever be with him even if he were interested; he's far too controlling when he has money and parasitic when he doesn't. However, were I single, I'd have a long term meaningless string of dates with him.

  5. #2035
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    Re: The Real Housewives of Orange County

    As usual Anglo, a wonderful job! I got my morning laugh! Can you do the Kardashians?
    RIP....Kevin 11-29-09

  6. #2036
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    Re: The Real Housewives of Orange County

    Quote Originally Posted by AngloAm;3768846;
    Well be fair to St. Boob. Apart from a nasty series of events in maternity suites, she really hasn't met the children yet. How could she know what these little strangers like or dislike. It's just good she has an idea what their mummy named them.
    I'm sorry but I think there should be rules in spas that if Pampers are being worn, then they are too young for manis & pedis. Sure it is cute to do girl things wth your daughters but if you want to do manis & pedis with 2 year olds DO IT AT HOME.
    Way to go St Boob, start the materia or maybe the best word is entitled way of thinking from a young age.
    My lord, 30somethings needing botox.

  7. #2037
    FORT Fogey momrek06's Avatar
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    Re: The Real Housewives of Orange County

    Quote Originally Posted by PA Snow Bunny;3769153;
    I'm sorry but I think there should be rules in spas that if Pampers are being worn, then they are too young for manis & pedis. Sure it is cute to do girl things wth your daughters but if you want to do manis & pedis with 2 year olds DO IT AT HOME.
    Way to go St Boob, start the materia or maybe the best word is entitled way of thinking from a young age.
    My lord, 30somethings needing botox.
    ITA!!! I went on Thursday for a mani-pedi-wax; as I have Xmas parties to attend (which started Sat night). I will not go back again until after NYE!! BUT that being said, when I go to the spa, I do not want to see any babies at all.....heck I do not want to see any little kiddos.....I like to be pampered in the peace and quiet that salons should be..... My services cost me $115.00 (includes tip) and I love the extra leg and arm and hand massages that I gladly will pay for but when having those services I do not want to be bothered by a lot of little children whining and crying because their RACK () of a mom wants them to have salon services at the age of 2yo. Fortunately for me, so far, living here in NB in the OC, I have NOT seen the likes of RACK () at all.

    I posted this before and will again.....IT WAS FOR THE CAMERAS!!!

    Sorry if I offended anyone with little ones.....but the above post is JMHO!!!!


    Oh and AA, AWESOME, FABULOUS POST!!!
    KAREN

  8. #2038
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    Re: The Real Housewives of Orange County

    Quote Originally Posted by momrek06;3769165;
    ITA!!! I went on Thursday for a mani-pedi-wax; as I have Xmas parties to attend (which started Sat night). I will not go back again until after NYE!! BUT that being said, when I go to the spa, I do not want to see any babies at all.....heck I do not want to see any little kiddos.....I like to be pampered in the peace and quiet that salons should be..... My services cost me $115.00 (includes tip) and I love the extra leg and arm and hand massages that I gladly will pay for but when having those services I do not want to be bothered by a lot of little children whining and crying because their RACK () of a mom wants them to have salon services at the age of 2yo. Fortunately for me, so far, living here in NB in the OC, I have NOT seen the likes of RACK () at all.

    I posted this before and will again.....IT WAS FOR THE CAMERAS!!!

    Sorry if I offended anyone with little ones.....but the above post is JMHO!!!!


    Oh and AA, AWESOME, FABULOUS POST!!!
    Good point - the technicians/beauty people looked horrified and I can only imagine that the other customers were counting the milliseconds before Saint Boob, her living fasion accessories (being taught the importance of what? being pampered?), and the camera crew would finally twig that this was a stupid idea, the kind of idea that a woman who mistakes her kids for little dolls would have. Saint Boob mentioned that Frug never changed diapers; I bet she didn't either. What's the point of having the two saintly nannies to look after the squalling blurs?

  9. #2039
    FORT Fanatic beesknees's Avatar
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    Re: The Real Housewives of Orange County

    I find it hilarious that Alexis graduated? from university yet CONSTANTLY mangles the english language just about every other time she opens her mouth. Also, she should keep her christian mouth shut about what a good christian she is. Um, Alexis, tip #1, if you wanna portray yourself as a good christian take a tip from the rest of the planet & KEEP YOUR TRIPLE DDD BOOBS FROM FLOPPING OUT ALL OVER THE PLACE. Amen.

  10. #2040
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    Re: The Real Housewives of Orange County

    Did she actually say she graduated or just studied?

    I am always amused, beesknees, when she (and nearly everyone else) wrongly declines personal pronouns. Alexis is scared of saying "Me and Jim did such and such" that she hypercorrects and says things like "This is a good thing for Jim and I." It doesn't quite show she's more refined than the rest of us, but that she's terrified of not being.

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